Modern culture would have you believe that a man should move out of his parents’ house around 18 to mature and learn how to live on his own, but doing so will actually keep him in an immature state while teaching him how to live with the aid of alcohol, drugs, consumer products, pornography, and other degenerate entertainments. Therefore, it may be better for men, especially those who put their faith in Christ, to move out of the family home only upon marriage or to serve the Lord more intensely.
I fell for the “move out of the house” meme when I was 21 years old. Within a short time, I had sex for the first time and was throwing huge parties where I would get intoxicated and hope that I would have more sex. I was also able to masturbate more frequently since I didn’t have to worry about my mother in the next room. In the meanwhile, I learned how to do the laundry, which is something any 10-year-old can master, but did not learn how to cook for many years since my disposable income was high enough that I could eat out regularly at Chipotle or buy semi-prepared foods that contained all manner of estrogenic ingredients.
The second home I lived in as an adult was closer to the Washington D.C. nightlife, so it would often be the meeting point for my friends before going out for nights on the town. I purchased dozens of various liquors and constructed a full-service bar, and I’d regularly bring girls back for fornication. The cost of these activities would eat up about half of my disposable income, but I considered myself a maturing man who was learning important things about being independent, when in reality the opposite was occurring. I was developing severe vices, cementing habits that offered no aid to my soul, and was becoming dependent on various corporations to feed me and provide me drink. Living on my own was not making me more mature—it was instead providing a more frictionless opportunity for me to sin at the cost of giving up my hard-earned money to various businesses while spending less time with my family.
Once I moved to Europe, and no longer had any roommates, I developed the habit of talking to myself while alone, along with peculiar ways of eating and working. In other words, living alone was making me weird, and any woman I met would have had to accept that weirdness if she wanted a relationship with me.
If you don’t have faith in God, living alone seems great because it maximizes the amount of pleasure you can receive, but if you’re Christian, those pleasures will separate you from God. Even though I’m 41 years old, I currently live with my mother, and I’ve considered living with her indefinitely because it allows me to work on my weirdness for the sake of a family bond. I do not participate in any activities that I need to conceal from her, and as long as she doesn’t make noise while I live stream, she doesn’t bother me much, but alas, her apartment is too small.
Unless your parents are obstructing your faith or insist on infantilizing you (i.e., you have a Mediterranean or Middle Eastern mom), I would be hesitant to move out of the house, even if you’re up there in age. Here are eight reasons why you should potentially live with your parents until getting married…
1. You’ll have less opportunity to sin
When it comes to fornication, compare the logistics of living with your parents in the suburbs to living in the city within walking distance of the nightlife. The latter situation will give a man the potential to score a ton more sex, all to his personal and spiritual detriment. When living at home, you will drink less, masturbate less, be in more control of your anger, and be less likely to develop the vice of greed thanks to a communal living situation. It’s harder to sin when other people you love are nearby.
2. You’ll learn about family life
As a child, we subconsciously absorb a template of family, and that can sometimes lead to bad results if our family often experienced strife, but as an adult, you can be more conscious of examining the positive and negative traits of your parents and how they impact the tranquility of family life. Your parents don’t have to be perfect for you to learn from them; if your father has a bad temper and an alcohol problem, you know that that is something you have to watch out for in your own family. If your mother takes care of all the cooking and cleaning, and you notice that it helps your father with his duties, then you can look for that trait in a wife. You will be able to construct a list of strengths and weaknesses of both your parents and use that for your own version 2.0 family. This is harder to do if you leave the home early before you had time to think of family life.
3. You won’t become excessively selfish
When you move out of the house as an immature adult, the focus is on me, me, me. Everything is done for your own pleasure, gain, and satisfaction. The world revolves around you and the only sacrifice you have to make is for your manager at work to keep your job. In other words, you learn how to master selfishness. You develop the belief that people must perfectly serve you just like how your little apartment serves your needs and genitals. This is impossible to do when living with your parents. They have quirks and habits which conflict with yours, and they’ll repeatedly encroach on your privacy, making it hard to conceal secrets. You must therefore sacrifice and give—in the form of your patience and love—for their sake. In the end, if you can’t figure out how to live with your parents, as flawed as they are, you may falter when living with a spouse.
4. You won’t waste money on rent
People who pay rent to live on their own are flushing money down the toilet. Nothing is built, preserved, or saved through rent payments to a landlord. If you calculate the money you’ve spent on rent in your lifetime, that would have made a sizable down payment on a family home, but no, you had to pay rent because you wanted to party and get laid.
5. You won’t develop weird habits that could turn off a reasonable spouse
It’s almost impossible to become weird while living at home unless you lock yourself in your bedroom all day. Any odd habit will be immediately checked by your parents or siblings, but once you live alone for a while, you will become officially weird in no time.
6. You won’t waste hundreds of hours performing feminine duties
Nothing was added to my being by cleaning the apartment, doing a thousand loads of laundry, or washing the dishes. These duties didn’t make me more independent or masculine, and if they make me seem more attractive to a woman, it’s because that woman doesn’t want to do the house duties ascribed to her sex.
7. You will participate in church life with your family
No one moves alone to the city to attend church more frequently, but when you live with your family, not only are you more likely to go to church, but you will do so as a family unit.
8. You will be instantly unattractive to worldly (i.e. bad) women
Women who have made a god out of themselves by living a worldly life hate men who live at home. They’re losers! They’re momma’s boys! They don’t know how to clean like a ‘real’ man! You don’t want these women as wives. A Christian woman knows of the many traps and snares the devil has set up, and would value the man who is closer to his family because she desires a husband who will value the family that they can one day create. The best screening method you can use on potential female prospects is to tell them you’re a devout Christian who lives at home (and voted for Donald Trump). If she’s also a devout Christian, she will understand, because she’s living at home, too. She will not want to sin with you, and knows that such a living situation makes it difficult to accidentally fornicate.
Ultimately, living alone is an unnatural state that is most fit for the holy hermits, for even the monks live within a community. It’s best to either you live with family (parents) or you live with family (wife and children).
What have I really learned by living alone for over fifteen years? I learned how to trim my body hair so I could be more attractive to women, how to have conversations with myself, and how to gently kick women I didn’t love out of my place, all things that were not spiritually beneficial and which I don’t do today.
Satan would love for you to live alone. He will have infinitely more opportunities to tempt you, and unless you are with Christ, you will succumb to those temptations like most people who live in the city. Many businesses and corporations profit when you live alone as you depend more on them than your family, but by living in such a way, ask yourself what profit there will be to your soul.
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