Modern culture would have you believe that a man should move out of his parents’ house around 18 to mature and learn how to live on his own, but doing so will actually keep him in an immature state while teaching him how to live with the aid of alcohol, drugs, consumer products, pornography, and other degenerate entertainments. Therefore, it may be better for men, especially those who put their faith in Christ, to move out of the family home only upon marriage or to serve the Lord more intensely.

I fell for the “move out of the house” meme when I was 21 years old. Within a short time, I had sex for the first time and was throwing huge parties where I would get intoxicated and hope that I would have more sex. I was also able to masturbate more frequently since I didn’t have to worry about my mother in the next room. In the meanwhile, I learned how to do the laundry, which is something any 10-year-old can master, but did not learn how to cook for many years since my disposable income was high enough that I could eat out regularly at Chipotle or buy semi-prepared foods that contained all manner of estrogenic ingredients.

The second home I lived in as an adult was closer to the Washington D.C. nightlife, so it would often be the meeting point for my friends before going out for nights on the town. I purchased dozens of various liquors and constructed a full-service bar, and I’d regularly bring girls back for fornication. The cost of these activities would eat up about half of my disposable income, but I considered myself a maturing man who was learning important things about being independent, when in reality the opposite was occurring. I was developing severe vices, cementing habits that offered no aid to my soul, and was becoming dependent on various corporations to feed me and provide me drink. Living on my own was not making me more mature—it was instead providing a more frictionless opportunity for me to sin at the cost of giving up my hard-earned money to various businesses while spending less time with my family.

Once I moved to Europe, and no longer had any roommates, I developed the habit of talking to myself while alone, along with peculiar ways of eating and working. In other words, living alone was making me weird, and any woman I met would have had to accept that weirdness if she wanted a relationship with me.

If you don’t have faith in God, living alone seems great because it maximizes the amount of pleasure you can receive, but if you’re Christian, those pleasures will separate you from God. Even though I’m 41 years old, I currently live with my mother, and I’ve considered living with her indefinitely because it allows me to work on my weirdness for the sake of a family bond. I do not participate in any activities that I need to conceal from her, and as long as she doesn’t make noise while I live stream, she doesn’t bother me much, but alas, her apartment is too small.

Unless your parents are obstructing your faith or insist on infantilizing you (i.e., you have a Mediterranean or Middle Eastern mom), I would be hesitant to move out of the house, even if you’re up there in age. Here are eight reasons why you should potentially live with your parents until getting married…

1. You’ll have less opportunity to sin

When it comes to fornication, compare the logistics of living with your parents in the suburbs to living in the city within walking distance of the nightlife. The latter situation will give a man the potential to score a ton more sex, all to his personal and spiritual detriment. When living at home, you will drink less, masturbate less, be in more control of your anger, and be less likely to develop the vice of greed thanks to a communal living situation. It’s harder to sin when other people you love are nearby.

2. You’ll learn about family life

As a child, we subconsciously absorb a template of family, and that can sometimes lead to bad results if our family often experienced strife, but as an adult, you can be more conscious of examining the positive and negative traits of your parents and how they impact the tranquility of family life. Your parents don’t have to be perfect for you to learn from them; if your father has a bad temper and an alcohol problem, you know that that is something you have to watch out for in your own family. If your mother takes care of all the cooking and cleaning, and you notice that it helps your father with his duties, then you can look for that trait in a wife. You will be able to construct a list of strengths and weaknesses of both your parents and use that for your own version 2.0 family. This is harder to do if you leave the home early before you had time to think of family life.

3. You won’t become excessively selfish

When you move out of the house as an immature adult, the focus is on me, me, me. Everything is done for your own pleasure, gain, and satisfaction. The world revolves around you and the only sacrifice you have to make is for your manager at work to keep your job. In other words, you learn how to master selfishness. You develop the belief that people must perfectly serve you just like how your little apartment serves your needs and genitals. This is impossible to do when living with your parents. They have quirks and habits which conflict with yours, and they’ll repeatedly encroach on your privacy, making it hard to conceal secrets. You must therefore sacrifice and give—in the form of your patience and love—for their sake. In the end, if you can’t figure out how to live with your parents, as flawed as they are, you may falter when living with a spouse.

4. You won’t waste money on rent

People who pay rent to live on their own are flushing money down the toilet. Nothing is built, preserved, or saved through rent payments to a landlord. If you calculate the money you’ve spent on rent in your lifetime, that would have made a sizable down payment on a family home, but no, you had to pay rent because you wanted to party and get laid.

5. You won’t develop weird habits that could turn off a reasonable spouse

It’s almost impossible to become weird while living at home unless you lock yourself in your bedroom all day. Any odd habit will be immediately checked by your parents or siblings, but once you live alone for a while, you will become officially weird in no time.

6. You won’t waste hundreds of hours performing feminine duties

Nothing was added to my being by cleaning the apartment, doing a thousand loads of laundry, or washing the dishes. These duties didn’t make me more independent or masculine, and if they make me seem more attractive to a woman, it’s because that woman doesn’t want to do the house duties ascribed to her sex.

7. You will participate in church life with your family

No one moves alone to the city to attend church more frequently, but when you live with your family, not only are you more likely to go to church, but you will do so as a family unit.

8. You will be instantly unattractive to worldly (i.e. bad) women

Women who have made a god out of themselves by living a worldly life hate men who live at home. They’re losers! They’re momma’s boys! They don’t know how to clean like a ‘real’ man! You don’t want these women as wives. A Christian woman knows of the many traps and snares the devil has set up, and would value the man who is closer to his family because she desires a husband who will value the family that they can one day create. The best screening method you can use on potential female prospects is to tell them you’re a devout Christian who lives at home (and voted for Donald Trump). If she’s also a devout Christian, she will understand, because she’s living at home, too. She will not want to sin with you, and knows that such a living situation makes it difficult to accidentally fornicate.

Conclusion

Ultimately, living alone is an unnatural state that is most fit for the holy hermits, for even the monks live within a community. It’s best to either you live with family (parents) or you live with family (wife and children).

What have I really learned by living alone for over fifteen years? I learned how to trim my body hair so I could be more attractive to women, how to have conversations with myself, and how to gently kick women I didn’t love out of my place, all things that were not spiritually beneficial and which I don’t do today.

Satan would love for you to live alone. He will have infinitely more opportunities to tempt you, and unless you are with Christ, you will succumb to those temptations like most people who live in the city. Many businesses and corporations profit when you live alone as you depend more on them than your family, but by living in such a way, ask yourself what profit there will be to your soul.

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There's a double standard for my culture. Men have to move out or pay rent or study but daughters get to stay home until they marry.

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I've been staying with my parents for the past few weeks - just for a bit of company during lockdown.

Since moving back home I've cut my alcohol consumption down by half, I'm saving money and I couldn't tell you the last time I masturbated or watched porn.

I'll move out once lockdown ends, as I feel like I'm intruding on my parents a little bit. The past few weeks living at home have done me a world of good though.

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I don't know. It depends on the household. If you have a good family, yes, absolutely, stay there until marriage. If you have a toxic, destructive family, then, unfortunately, it's not so simple. I do agree that living alone is unnatural.

I had to move out of my home fairly early. My dad was a raging sociopathic alcoholic. My mother had severe anxiety and paranoia. For reasons I won't get into here, an extended family member also lived with us that had severe mental and physical problems (almost entirely self-caused by the way). My mom also owned two cats despite me being allergic. Due to this family life, I developed anxiety, depression, a binge drinking and drug habit that nearly killed me, and a whole host of bizarre sexual proclivities.

Moving out allowed me to slowly realize that my life was incredibly abnormal and unhealthy, which forced me to change and maintain a baseline "normal" personality.

However, I will say that living with wife has transformed me into a better, healthier, and happier person, and when she's gone and I'm alone, I revert back to old, bad habits.

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excellent placements. I would still add that after married the woman must live with her husband or his family.
In all oriental cultures the woman leaves the family and belongs to another. In bilbia it is written that you will leave your father's house.

I believe that living close to her family, after being married, helps much less than living in her husband's family.
in the family constellation the woman also follows the man, her country her culture and her religion. so it should be.

Many women still do not dedicate themselves 100% to their new family plus that many of these women are single or abusive mothers who meddle too much.

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I'll admit, I am mystified at the thought of parents letting their adult sons live at home rent free, while doing their laundry for them, and so forth. My parents happily booted me and each of my siblings out the house as soon as we turned 18, sink or swim style. I'm thankful for it; I had to mature a lot to learn to survive on my own. Were I a woman seeking a husband, I wouldn't be looking for a guy who had never chosen a place to live, supported himself, had his own insurance, etc. The time to become an adult is before getting married, at least for a man.

I suppose with a very specific sort of parents it all might work out well, but I haven't encountered this sort of parent.

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While I agree with the general principle, the sheer quantity of broken homes, bad parents, and single mothers makes living with parents impractical. All the more important to only bring children into a loving home built on God's principles.

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This makes sense only if parents are actively moving their sons towards responsibility, adulthood, marriage, and family.

Most of the duded I knew who lived with their parents into their mid 20s fell into two categories.
1. Super permissive parents who let them work part time, smoke pot in the bedroom, and bring random girls home.
2. Super strict Christian parent types who didn't want their sons to ever socialize outside of church or date until they were 25.

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A thought provoking post by Roosh, to be sure...

In my case, when I lived at home in my early twenties, I paid out a decent amount of rent money, and had some chores like washing dishes and helping with laundry. I felt this was very reasonable and helped my single mother out. But my mother did not wait on me hand and foot! Lol I did really like having access to mom's healthy and delicious home-cooked meals, which were better than what I ate, when I lived alone, with a roommate, or with my American wife. That has changed for the better, now that I have a Filipino partner.

My significant other recently told me that her four girls will be living with us, until they get married. Somehow I had not managed before to know this information! Lol I am okay with it, though. I suppose they will be leaving/marrying in their early to mid twenties. Here in the Philippines, even college educated women, tend to marry at a fairly early age, and still have several children before they get too old.

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Good points made here, but I’m curious as to what weird habits one can develop living on your own. Is there something particular or common?

I live solo, and I enjoy it much more than having to deal with roommates who were not on a similar level of drive and morality as myself. With that said, I can afford it and I enjoy having my parents stay over a weekend or two every month when they come to visit.

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I'd agree with just about every point, except "encourages church attendance with family" and "does not promote weird habits". The first point is very location dependent; if you move somewhere far it's impossible, if you move somewhere close I think the condition of your spiritual life is more important than your dwelling. On the second point I've known a lot of adults living with parents that become very lazy (or ignorant to home ownership responsibilities) as a counterpoint to weird habits.

I think the middle ground should be living at home until maturity and ability to own a home is achieved. We unfortunately live in a society where many men may never get married as the quality of women is too low. As the head of the household its not a poor position to physically provide the dwelling before forming the household. Likewise, a man who truly honors his father and mother would in no way be wrong to to leave his parents upon the formation of his family. It just does not seem to be a option as work relocation, family breakdown, and male/female interactions are all degraded to some point these days.

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There's a double standard for my culture. Men have to move out or pay rent or study but daughters get to stay home until they marry.

Better than her moving out, getting pounded by multiple men, going into debt, than marrying. Daughters at home are good wife potential.

The article is very good at showing the benefits of modern day degenerate single lifestyle, vs. the largely wholesome positiveelements of living at home. But to me, it doesn't really address one major issue of a man showing his ability to stand on his own prior to taking on the role of supporting/protecting his wife, providing for his family.

The article doesn't really offer a refutation of this major counterpoint, that a man who does something on his own shows to a woman (and himself) that he is worth his salt so to speak as a provider, which is his chief worldly responsibility in the marriage. Yes a man might be able to stack cash, stay away from slutty women better without having his own place, but he is also untested in some way. God doesn't respect weak, cowardly men. I am not saying that living at home makes anyone a coward, but it doesn't take much courage either.

The danger for a young man of staying home is that it can be too safe for a young man, too comfortable, and the man as a result could become more effeminate than a guy who moves out. The stereotype of the young guy living at home playing video games in the basement is true, so we have to be aware of that. There is almost space for a follow up article. "if you choose to live at home with your parents, this is how you can ensure you don't stagnate".

I'm all for a guy living with his family. Part of it is cultural, and I think it's unhealthy how North American culture is obsessed with moving out on your own. I am about Roosh's age and am living with my elderly mother since Corona started and I am enjoying the change and seeing some of the benefits. But I also have a sense that I have taken risks in life, stood on my own feet, etc. If I didn't have this experience, I wonder if living with my parents would make me feel weak, and less of a grown man.

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Better than her moving out, getting pounded by multiple men, going into debt, than marrying. Daughters at home are good wife potential.

Even better if the family has grandparents living in the house. I've seen it (rarely) in the US and more common abroad. If a girl is still at home with her parents and has responsibilities learning from/caring for grandparents, you are getting to gold standard quality women.

I've only seen some learning from household chores and an understanding of loyalty when it is an adult guy. It really reinforces the family centered role a woman was designed for when you see it in action.

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I'd agree with just about every point, except "encourages church attendance with family" and "does not promote weird habits". The first point is very location dependent; if you move somewhere far it's impossible, if you move somewhere close I think the condition of your spiritual life is more important than your dwelling. On the second point I've known a lot of adults living with parents that become very lazy (or ignorant to home ownership responsibilities) as a counterpoint to weird habits.

I think the middle ground should be living at home until maturity and ability to own a home is achieved. We unfortunately live in a society where many men may never get married as the quality of women is too low. As the head of the household its not a poor position to physically provide the dwelling before forming the household. Likewise, a man who truly honors his father and mother would in no way be wrong to to leave his parents upon the formation of his family. It just does not seem to be a option as work relocation, family breakdown, and male/female interactions are all degraded to some point these days.

My understanding is that in nations like Italy, a young man living at home for many years is quite common. But despite this, many of these men become well educated during this time, and get good jobs. But when they do marry and finally move out, the wives complain of them being mama's boys who constantly compare them to mom back home.

In America and Japan, by contrast, not all, but quite a few young men become very lazy, as they lose any ambition, and just allow themselves to be babied by their parents. They do little to no chores, and pay little to no rent. And during this time they may become entrenched in bad habits such as only working a part-time job (or none at all), regular porn viewing and constant videogames playing. And on top of that, they are not saving money for further education or to buy a home. And this of course can interfere with developing healthy relationships with Christian women.

Living at home can be a very good thing, but it must be done thoughtfully, and in a disciplined way.

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I moved home after a bad break up with a woman I was living with and a lost job. I instantly found warmth and love with my family. It was exactly what I needed. When later women tried to shame me for living at home, I laughed at them. I had no desire to impress them by paying rent in some crap place.

I also point out that orthodox Jews live at home till they marry, and that saves them a ton of money that they use to buy places and then....rent them out to goyim. While the the ortho Jews themselves have babies.

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Even better if the family has grandparents living in the house.

This touches on the point I was going to make. Though it's a bit outside the scope of this article, taking care of one's parents is an important thing after establishing one's own family. Living with them again in their final years, particularly in view of the decades they spent caring for you, is part of being a godly man. Dumping them in a nursing home to die of covoid is disgraceful.

I took care of an elderly relative with dementia, so I am not speaking ignorantly. With a full family supporting the endeavor, it is worthwhile, helps the elderly relative to retain cognitive function more than in a nursing home, and is ultimately God-pleasing ("honor thy father and mother, that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life upon the earth.").

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My understanding is that in nations like Italy, a young man living at home for many years is quite common. But despite this, many of these men become well educated during this time, and get good jobs. But when they do marry and finally move out, the wives complain of them being mama's boys who constantly compare them to mom back home.

This. Conservative cultures end up creating mama's boys. Just as living alone is not for everyone, living with a multi-generational extended family is not for everyone.

Grass is greener on the other side. :sneaky:

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My understanding is that in nations like Italy, a young man living at home for many years is quite common. But despite this, many of these men become well educated during this time, and get good jobs. But when they do marry and finally move out, the wives complain of them being mama's boys who constantly compare them to mom back home.

You're misinformed here. Italy has record unemployment, especially for young people.

Quote from article: Sometimes, when people ask me why on earth I left Italy, a beautiful country I'm lucky enough to call home, I drop a few numbers. Italy's youth unemployment rate – the rate of people under 25 years old looking for a job and not finding it – is 28.6% as of the last quarter of 2019, according to Eurostat, the European Statistical Office. By comparison, in November 2019 the Eurozone's youth unemployment rate overall was 15.6%. Here in the U.S. it's about 8%.

You are right about them being insufferable mommy's boys. Italian version of "primo genito." My best friend joined the military and married an Italian woman. He's lived in Italy for over 7 years during his tours and he can't stand the young men from his wife's family. According to him, they are all unemployed or underemployed. Extremely entitled. His wife's family is from Puglia, a rather poor region but he says it's the same in the cities.

During the Eurozone crisis many young people moved to the cities looking for work but it only led to further demand for limited jobs.

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You're misinformed here. Italy has record unemployment, especially for young people.

You are right about them being insufferable mommy's boys. Italian version of "primo genito." My best friend joined the military and married an Italian woman. He's lived in Italy for over 7 years during his tours and he can't stand the young men from his wife's family. According to him, they are all unemployed or underemployed. Extremely entitled. His wife's family is from Puglia, a rather poor region but he says it's the same in the cities.

During the Eurozone crisis many young people moved to the cities looking for work but it only led to further demand for limited jobs.

In your view, what is causing this severe unemployment among the young people of Italy?

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If your parents and family is good then I guess it’s fine. But part of what a woman needs to have a good husband and raise a successful family, is independence and self-sustainability. If you don’t know how to deal with things like insurance or troubleshooting problems in your house or apartment then you aren’t very useful to women or a family. So as long as your parents are forcing you to figure things out on your own then living with your parents makes successful relationships pretty difficult. That being said, in the right homes, your chances to sin are less because you can’t just have sexual relations with a woman if your mom or dad is ten feet away. It can work but in our culture I don’t see it being super effective.

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