I used to take personal achievement very seriously. If I wasn’t achieving, accomplishing, or even doing something productive, I believed I was moving backwards in life, wasting away like a drug addict. Metrics had to be hit, whether related to money, women, fitness, web site views, or accumulated knowledge. Otherwise, I was not realizing my true potential.

Looking back, I see that my thinking was flawed, and my achievements were really nothing more than conversions of one form of energy into another. It’s not so much that I was creating something out of nothing, but playing a game of musical chairs.

Achieving any goal comes down to willpower and time

Willpower is needed to go from doing an easy activity, like watching television or napping, to a hard activity, like going to the gym and activating your muscles. Time is needed to read or study resources that teach you how the activity is competently done, and of course the actual time to do it. That’s the formula to achieve anything in life, and when that happens, what you’re really skilled at is not necessarily the activity itself, but dedicating willpower and time in a way that many others cannot.

Why are some men so good at summoning willpower and time to specific goals? How can I have labored for so many years getting laid around the world when most other men can’t be bothered? How can a man go to the gym four times a week when I’m fine with going once or twice? What can push men to completely dedicate themselves around achieving a materialist goal that surpasses their true biological and physical need? The answer is emotion. The only way to push a man beyond what his nature requires is to make him feel so emotionally inadequate and insecure that he feels the only way to patch up the hole is to dedicate his being—and sometimes his entire life—to the achievement.

I was a late bloomer who didn’t go through puberty until my late teens. This wrecked my confidence with women and caused me to get less attention than my male peers, leaving a gaping void around women and masculinity that had to be filled with 13 years of achievement in game that I shared publicly with the world in the process of becoming a teacher and “influencer,” until finally in my mid 30’s the hole was patched and I no longer wanted to dedicate as much willpower and time into the same tasks.

Your wounds create emotional cravings

Look at a man who is most obsessed about money and you will uncover memories of his youth where he felt ashamed for not having toys his friends had. Look at men who have the biggest muscles and you’ll uncover stories of being picked on in childhood. The only motivator that causes men to go above and beyond any area of achievement is inadequacy, and when that hole is filled, the willpower and time spent on the task will fade. The man will then feel frustrated and unsure of what to do next.

The self-realized and content man is a loser in the eyes of others, because he never surpasses his need enough to be a public expert in anything. He is fine with an average income, average sex life, average body, because he has no emotional hole that is begging him to convert his willpower and time into grand achievement. If a woman is self-realized, why would she feel the need to show off her body and genitals to the world through pictures and revealing clothing? Why would she ache for fleeting sexual encounters that rarely even comes with orgasmic pleasure? Look at a person’s goals and you can discover where they suffered emotional pain.

I’ve met men who, to bang more women, take supplements to increase their horniness. They have used game to satisfy their sexual needs, but once that happened, their ego wanted more and forced them to artificially manipulate their need so the banging could continue. Game started as a tool for them, subservient to their being, but now it’s their master. Productivity gurus do the same when it comes to money. They teach you how to manipulate your schedule, lifestyle, eating habits, and personal relationships all to accommodate more money making, so you’re an accomplished merchant in the eyes of others.

What is your true need?

Of course I’m not giving you an excuse to be homeless, unhealthy, or to choose a life of involuntary celibacy because you are afraid of taking social risks, but there is wisdom is knowing when enough is enough. If you have to take dubious supplements and sustain injuries to achieve your fitness goals, you’ve surpassed your body’s need. If you’re cutting off potential long-term relationships or love because you want to bang more girls to brag to your friends, you’re merely trying to fill a hole. If you’re exhausting yourself at work because you want to buy a toy that you don’t need, you’re trying to find self-worth in the material, and if you have a goal where, upon achieving it, you simply decide to gain more of it, you’ve found not a goal but a black hole, and soon your life will revolve entirely around it.

I’m currently writing a new book. Usually I’d make sacrifices to other parts of my life to finish it quicker, but then the book, the achievement, ends up owning me during that entire time. I don’t need more fame or more money, so I’ll write the book at my own pace, and when it’s finally done, people can buy it if they want. Unless I can enjoy the process of writing a book on a timeline that feels balanced for me, I allow the goal to become my master. Once you achieve basic material comfort, work on goals without timelines, without pressure. Enjoy them for their own sake instead of what they may provide.

I have to warn you that if you follow my advice, you will watch as others pass you by. They will get more money, women, and fame than you. They will dangle their prizes in front of you and teach you how to work as hard as them, and try to make you feel like a loser if you don’t. But they’re just converting their emotional holes into willpower and time and finally into materialistic achievement that can be measured and compared. This is why achievement has to involve a number to keep score: number of bangs, net worth, bench press one rep max, number of Youtube views, number of countries visited, and so on. The best way to win this kind of numbers game is not to play at all. Let others choose to be a slave to numbers while you never lose touch of your true need.

Passing on things I’ve learned to you as I approach middle age may come across as foolish, especially for those of you who are under 35. If you are young and full of both energy and the need to prove yourself to the world, it’s best you ignore my advice and keep converting your willpower and time into the type of achievement you believe will satisfy you. In a best case scenario, your achievement will patch a hole, like it did mine, and you can release it as a goal and pursue it at your own enjoyment. In the worst case scenario, you go deeper and let the goal control you, watching hopelessly as your self worth paradoxically goes down upon comparing yourself to men of even higher achievement who are just slightly better than you at converting their time and willpower into materialistic gain.

When I started looking at achievement as mere conversion of one form of energy into another, I started doing things for myself and those in my inner circle than for the world, because it’s not really achievement that is taking place when I write an article like this or a book—it’s just the moving of furniture in a room. I hope I’ll soon forget about achievement so I can become an average man, a mediocrity in the eyes of the accomplished, but after pursuing it for so long, and becoming a “somebody” in the eyes of many, I wonder if it’s really possible to go back.

Read Next: You Become What You Fight


  1. Zanardi July 17, 2017 at 10:29 am

    Nope. You can never go back.

  2. hankerow July 17, 2017 at 10:46 am

    I remember when you shared that you’ve only banged a fat girl towards the end of the year just to bring your bang/$ under $27…how old where you then?

    1. Roosh July 18, 2017 at 11:27 am

      If it happened, had to be 2005 or 2006 when I was 27 or 28.

      1. Aleksandra Zivkovic July 26, 2017 at 11:32 pm

        Roosh, I am a woman, but please don’t block me. One question-why not go to Iran, or Armenia? Women are drop dead gorgeous and pious and they are all virgins, man?

      2. Splooge August 1, 2017 at 9:45 pm

        Well hes mixed for one. Theyd want a full blooded groom for one. Well persians are a hit or miss. Plus nosejobs are popular there.
        Likely virgins. But persian girls got bad rep due to the secret sex drugs partys going underground.
        Armenia maybe better option but maybe as xenophobic

      3. 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓮 ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ🇺🇸🇺🇾 July 12, 2018 at 5:07 pm

        A.) He only likes to defile women of the Aryan race
        B.) He has a hard enough time getting laid now, and going to countries where men are expected to respect women will not help his “game”

        Face it, out of one side of his mouth he says, “Marry a Virgin”, while out of the other side he keeps trying to destroy as many marriage options of white men as he can. (But at least these white dudes are paying him for the privilege of reading his exploits of befouling their white women.)

  3. Kush July 17, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Roosh, you truly have been OSHO-fied.

    I knew articles like these would come from you once you had begin to write your Osho influenced articles a few months back.

    Is that a bad thing? No.

    Out of all the public figures who spoke on personal development, there never has been any person more influential and who has gone more deep than Osho.

    That guy could really cast a spell on people.

    I worked in the Osho ashram here in Pune for 6 months and man, the amount of Europeans and Americans that come here and leave everything is just mind boggling. And that too after almost 20 years since Osho passed.

    Your recent writings on a ambitious-less nature are inspired from Osho’s theory of effortless effort, which for me is the most under-rated psychological insight. It was actually proposed by JD Krishnamurthy, of whom Osho was a big fan himself. But Krishnamurthy could never communicate it as well as Osho did.

    It’s also a dangerous inisght for those who are not very intelligent and lack the skill of deep thinking, as it can quickly turn them into wasteful hippies and towards drugs. That’s what happened to most of Osho’s followers.

    However, people like you can easily comprehend his message as you have first hand experience with effort. Effort is needed to realise the value of effortlessness. The mistake many people make is to jump into effortlessness without experiencing the agony of effort.

    Really liking your articles. Keep them coming as the whet the appetite of deep thinkers.

  4. Andrea July 17, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Wow! You’ve definitely stroked my ego with this one, since I knew from the first time I read one of your articles years ago, that you were complex, intelligent, but most importantly introspective. A lot of my close friends mocked me for the saw you as an arrogant PUA fool. But after all I was right about you. You are a great soul.

    Have you ever read “The Teachings of Don Juan; A Yaqui Way of Knowledge “? According to the shaman, a man has to overcome four demons in his life to attain wisdom. These demons are: fear, clarity, power and old age. They appear in order and a man must overcome one first to encounter the next one. Most men get defeated by the first demon: fear. It seems to me that you’re about to defeat the third one: Power.

    1. anon1 July 17, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      roosh has got some hot female fans. this pleases him. as it should

      1. me July 19, 2017 at 3:41 am

        Note that she hadn’t changed her profile photo for years.

      2. anon1 July 24, 2017 at 1:15 pm

        neither did i

      3. Turboprop ✓ 🇺🇦 August 2, 2017 at 4:27 am

        That’s a common symptom after a woman’s face and body hit the wall.

      4. anon1 July 25, 2017 at 4:55 pm

        all your comments have no merit

    2. Roosh July 17, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      “…you were complex, intelligent, but most importantly introspective. A lot of my close friends mocked me for they saw you as an arrogant PUA fool.”

      It’s possible for me to be all of the above.

      1. KrakenKorpus July 18, 2017 at 9:02 am

        … and he doesn’t lose frame *swoon*

      2. KrakenKorpus July 18, 2017 at 11:16 am

        … and he doesn’t lose frame 🙂

      3. Tom Dane July 20, 2017 at 8:25 pm

        Game’s there still

    3. TyskKille July 25, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Why don’t you buy Roosh dinner!

  5. Homine July 17, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Body-mind dichotomy.
    Be an animal, be instinct, focus. It is the body that controls us all the time even when we think it is not, we expend most of our lives fighting ourselves, and losing.
    That is reproduction. The father must die.
    Ego is a distraction for the loser.

    Try to control your mind and you will become very confused, then try to defend your animal nature and you will only empower it, causing more pain than before.

    It is hard to die. Hard to kill the ego.

  6. Jim Johnson July 17, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    One caveat….taxes. Whether taxed by the government, taxed by some family issues, or taxed because of health problems, people everywhere lived ambitious lives and achieved little in their lives. We all are taxed in one way or another, but we need to do what we can to minimize those monkeys on our backs.

  7. Blinko23 July 17, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    Great article, Roosh. Wise words indeed. My own life path has revealed much the same to me over the years. I still exercise my ambitions. But I treat them more as a fun series of games, not taking any too seriously. My success rate remains the same, more wins than losses, yet stress has all but vanished.

    1. Roosh July 17, 2017 at 3:53 pm

      Ambition and planning WITH understanding can be a pleasant way to pass the time, especially if you’re working on a personal passion. Ambition and planning WITHOUT understand can lead to catastrophe.

      1. Aaron Davison July 17, 2017 at 7:17 pm

        Very wise indeed. Roosh is becoming a modern day Osho. And I mean that in a good way.

  8. Evan Cary July 17, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    Excellent article Roosh! I really enjoy how you add a spiritual twist to your work. The more spiritual you get, the more I love it.

  9. Lucas Thomas July 17, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    It could be summed up by saying the Why is as important as the What and the How. Especially from 30 upwards

    Fools busting their asses in the gym at 35 years old just to get pussy are on a fast track to loserdom. Fools working 80 hours a week for a bigger SUV, likewise.

    However, busting your ass in the gym and working hard can be great things in the right context, and done for the right reason.

    knowing Why the fuck you’re doing what you’re doing is well … growing and moving forwards … for real!

    1. Roosh July 18, 2017 at 11:30 am

      “By doing this, what problem am I trying to solve? Is this really a problem, or am I playing a status game where there’s no way to win?”

      1. Lucas Thomas July 22, 2017 at 2:59 pm

        Exactly that. Very succinct

  10. test lee July 17, 2017 at 8:32 pm

    Dude, your problem is gut bacteria, fungi (candida/yeast) imbalances. This may be correcting itself with a better diet. If you’re wealthy enough to eat super healthy/nutrient rich foods, the body is happy to handle the problem… It’ll eventually lead to cancer or increase the risk for cancer because you’re burning through nutrients too fast. It’s like running your car at 100/mph 24/7. This is way you wake up tired. Extreme intelligence (the type you see in geniuses) is the result of immune system issues related to viruses embedded in our genome that express themselves if the immune system gets weak. A weaken immune system early in life leads to neurodevelopmental disorders classified as Autism. Autism by itself is really bad, endless pruning of synapses. It is only when it is combined with a virus that the brain is amplified. The viruses induce hyperactive brain disorders due to how they have to manipulate the immune system to replicate. This leads to the OCD and anxiety traits as the immune system upregulates. It also sometimes creates photographic memory in the host. The photographic memory make it possible to make novel connections since creativity is just the associations between existing ideas and concepts. Genius is mostly connecting dots which many people can spot but can’t connect. Innovation is more of a problem solving technique applied to available resources and usually that is just time and energy. You can create anything with time and energy.

    When the virus switches the brain to become OCD/autistic, there’s no way to disengage the resulting “will to reproduce” and the brain becomes a slave to go after more and more. You don’t feel sick and BUT YOUR body is over reacting to everything so you don’t get sick but you’re burning through nutrients too fast. Some chicken study showed how it attacks the intestine and showed all types of effects, including weight loss and much larger deviations in weight. Along with nerve damage, lower neuron counts at various nerve centers in the body, etc.

    1. MCGOO July 18, 2017 at 2:41 am

      Dude? Duuude, I think Roosh is more realist than autist. You are somehow divining an autism diagnosis upon Roosh, a man who once meditated the astralplane in the solitude of a cave while sitting around a woodfire. Your blanket critique write off of all white nationalists stems from your own ideological hubris. Maybe YOU should meditate from atop your roof or some suitable quiet place. I can sense that YOU either have now or have had in the past a problem with dead gut flora. What westerner hasn’t? Candida? GNC carries an excellent probiotic suppliment that will put your candida in its place INTO the dustbin alongside the likes of Rachel Maddow, and other harlot preacher’s wives and their flocks of divorce raping whores.

      Most likely it is YOUR DIGESTIVE FLORA, not Roosh’s but YOUR gut flora that turned to slime, yeast ridden and ineffective while your steady crap diet morphed traversing your gullet and became an oozing fungoid slime train making a Mumbai trail of footprints and defacation from your tasty beloved refugee organisms, and they stampeded like millions of disrespectful asylum seeking wrecking balls from your hatch to your crack.

      YOUR lliberal sensitivities made congress with your palate to throw itself wide, allowing a deluge of unfriendly organisms to come pouring in which choked and flattened your villi during your years as an unwitting consumer of processed frankenfoods. “Like body like mind” holds and YOUR MENTAL LIBERALISM is the fungoid slime crusting up the western gut system.

      Look at me. This is me:

      I am but one man doing a single strain of combat the best I can against the tidal wave of degeneration in the west. Shitmarxist zombofemliberalism is shooting from the grounds of our great land like it’s coming out volcanic exploding shit blowholes in the ground. And I alone CANNOT neutralize the gaseous bacterial fungoid swill beneath that churns and erodes the bedrock of our western culture. It takes all of us combating the degeneration to restore health and balance in the west. THIS IS ROK:


      ‘Good Belly’ – that’s Roosh in the corner. Err, it’s propably Matt Forney. But we’re all on the same plane – TO CLEANSE you. That’s right. We can CLEAN you out good where you squeak inside and out. YOU WILL SEE like you never knew! But the point being it takes many strains, all good strains, each with a job.

      MANY probiotics are available for the gut. The multi strain ones with a psyllium fiber base are 2x more effective in disseminating the strains and billyclubbing through the layers of mucous right to the heart of the unfriendly invading fungoid colonies!

    2. YOU FUCKING FAGGOT July 18, 2017 at 11:04 am


      1. anon July 19, 2017 at 3:48 am


  11. vincent Menniti ΛΤ July 18, 2017 at 12:08 am

    This is the plight of the middle class.

    They aren’t poor enough to try, and aren’t rich enough to be happy.

  12. Peter July 18, 2017 at 3:16 am

    People accomplish things because they often like what they do, and they have a real passion for it.When you do what you love, you just can’t imagine yourself doing anything else. This stupid idea that people accomplish things only when they’re suffering or because of any external cause, such as supernatural inspiration, mental problems, personal tragedies, etc., seems to come out of a leftist textbook.Because leftists usually are lazy and can’t accomplish any goals, they look at great artists and scientists and they attribute their successes to a series of false external causes, instead of sheer skill, talent, inteligence and effort. And when people studya science or art just because they love it , they don’t do it for money or recognition.They do it because they enjoy it. That’s why they do it all the time instead of sitting in the sofa watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the web on a smartphone.People who complain about lack of willpower are those who don’t have any passion in life to do anything besides sleep, eat, and breathe.

    a lot of those great artists and scientists of the past accomplished their deeds simply because they enjoyed what they were doing and not for any other reason.
    Of course, those who do things they don’t like just for the money, popularity or futility are wasting their lives. And you don’t need to prove your self to the world, if you do what you really love to do you forget that the world exist.

  13. Stadtaffe July 18, 2017 at 6:06 am

    …watch as others pass you by. They will get more money, women, and fame than you can’t have that.. Well, choose which things we go after, I only care about some of these things for example and compete in a some other areas which are not listed here at. Yes, a hole in the soul from an early age that led to an unnatural level of drive in pickup (and later in other areas)

    Just sometimes would like to channel some of that energy back to the quest, and not lose too much of it in political worries.

  14. Joseph Arena July 18, 2017 at 8:23 am

    What you forgot to say is that people may like a certain lifestyle. They may like being around beautiful women, they may like having money, or feeling good by looking good therefore going to gym, or the freedom of traveling, and so on. Have you ever noticed the look of stupidity on mediocre people’s face? Advocating mediocrity means advocating things such as consumerism, mind laziness, mediocre genetic reproduction, status quo acceptance hence ruling classes’ agenda acceptance. Roosh, you are 35 not 75. If you feel tired try to change your nutrition or sleep habits. If you are no more motivated, change the place you live in, or find new friends.

    1. Roosh July 18, 2017 at 11:34 am

      I see my decreasing desire as a blessing, of potential freedom from the material. Why would I want to be a complete slave to desire again, chasing it like a dog runs after a bone? The problem may be motivation instead of lack of motivation.

      1. Joseph Arena July 18, 2017 at 5:33 pm

        This may mean you were lazy also when you were chasing achievements. Probably you were after achievements but you were so in a lazy and mediocre way. If your subconscious finds comfort in mediocrity, it means that’s how it was programmed. That’s something only you know, you should be honest to yourself and recognize if the kind of education you received was of the type to make you become a great man or just an average lazy ass.

    2. Anti-Gnostic July 18, 2017 at 3:29 pm

      Old dogs learn new tricks, especially when they can’t run as fast or procure the same number of notches in their water dish. Hence, the old dog “reinvents” himself to remain relevant.

  15. jayteeniftb July 18, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    Exploration is the channeling of willpower which eventually comes to an end.

  16. Peter July 18, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Roosh is getting old, slowing down and losing all sense of humor in the process. I think he was better when he was a PUA. Now, what’s the point of keeping reading his stuff?

    All those eastern philosophies, like Bhuddisim, they’re all bullshit. 60’s rockstars were following this shit, and they all got crazy and did a lot of weird stuff.

    That’s the problem of philosophies, they’re all invented, made-up shit, and are all false.

    And you can’t ever be free of desire, that’s impossible, unless you die, even the desire of being free of a desire is, in itself, a desire. You just have to find what is that you really want and that makes you feel consistenly good, and therefore happy.

    Now, go find a wife, please, and have some kids.

    1. Lynn July 19, 2017 at 11:15 am

      There are a TON of PUA resources on the internet, nobody is forcing you to waste your own time by reading this specific blog.
      I agree that you cannot get rid of desire, but a lot of intelligent people go through this stage. Questions about life, meaning, and nature happen. Saying it’s all bullshit does not give anybody with those ponderings a satisfying answer.
      Definitely think he needs to find a girl and have kids though. I think it is great that he is thinking about these things (better late than never!) But children will help him not be trapped in his own head.

      1. Jason July 19, 2017 at 5:44 pm

        I used to think about those things my whole life, and it didn’t do me any good. The only answers we can get from the world are those from the hard sciences, anything else is delusion. Overthinking makes you hesitate and become self-conscious, and, in turn, it makes you weak. There are no answers to be found, just more questions, and it never ends.
        The reason we all end up like this, asking those questions, is because we feel unhappy and our life sucks. You don’t see happy people pondering about those questions, they’re too busy enjoying life. And life is not that complicated, you just look at nature, and you’ll see. Unfortunately, we all need a woman, and perhaps, we also need to have kids. It’s part of our nature. That’s what brought us all here in the first place. It’s not to brag, or to look for validation from our peers, we just wanted to get laid, because it’s in our nature, and it goes beyond that. We all need a woman beside us. That’s why we suffer, and that’s why there is this whole red pill, MRA, and MGTOW scene. It is simple as that. Other than that you just have to find what really enjoy doing and make it your job. Some people are writers, some are scientists, some are musicians, you just find your calling in this life, then you get a wife and kids, settle down, and then you just age and wait for death, that’s all there is. The only point to have money and fame is to achieve just that. Some people can’t do that without fame and money though, so that’s why they go through the painful process of having to make it big, just to get the very minimum they want from life.
        I know it’s cheesy, but that’s the truth.

      2. abz007 July 24, 2017 at 4:34 pm

        I heard about MGTOW’s but what is MRA?

      3. Kotoula July 24, 2017 at 10:34 pm

        MRA = Mens Rights Activists

  17. XXX July 18, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    What caused men like James Clerk Maxwell, or Nikola Tesla to do the work they did?

    1. MCGOO July 19, 2017 at 2:21 am

      Tesla was fiercely competitive to the point of rivalry with both Edison and Marconi. Edison and Tesla slept roughly 2 hrs/day and Tesla kept a sleeping cot by his desk. Tesla and Edison were both wired and lean formulating machines who lived into their 80s. Maxwell was devoutly Christian, a fellow in ministry and theological councils and he discovered the microwave in 1864.

      Maxwell married a devoted younger woman but he lived only half as long as Edison or Tesla, passing away in his 40s from stomach cancer which also claimed his mother. Maxwell’s illness had to be a result of a staple diet of nitrosamine cured meats and lack of fresh fruits and green vegetables. This was likely due to the availability of staple foods like mutton and cured meats in northern Scotland and a scarcity of the more phytonutrient rich foods like green vegetables and tropical citrus fruits like the guava which has more than 4x the vitamin C of an orange.

      I’m not a vampire but I’ll put money that his blood type was A+. His devoted younger wife helped him in the lab frequently but she didn’t kill him. It was his overconsumption of cured meats which were akin to ‘snack food’ diet of the time period. Jerky lasts all day in your pocket. He should have made time daily to sit down at a table and eat more of a cornucopia of fresh fibrous green foods.

  18. Righterous July 19, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Roosh you write exactly the same thing as Victor Pride (blog – boldanddetermined) long time ago. :>

  19. Righterous July 19, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    I mean only the title.
    Roosh got mental issue. I’m outta here. Healthy organism want more and more. Think LESS. By thinking you only want to find excuse to give up, if you got wrong mindset.

    1. Tom Dane July 20, 2017 at 8:32 pm

      Not what he is saying

  20. William Adams July 19, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Zoon politikon and egoism. We are individuals in a society. I see it as a false dichotomy that there is either no achievement or 100% focus on achievement, that you do stuff completely for yourself or completely for others, that you compete against yourself or against others. It is both, more or less. Personality, genetics and environmental and contextual factors are all involved in these processes.

    A good thing to realize is that you can do stuff for yourself, but with others as a reflection of your achievements (small or big), for example when you write an e-mail, text message, draft or whatever and then erase it or send it to yourself. It is like therapy – you do it because you want to express yourself and get attention and validation but that pseudo-feedback work almost as well as when someone gives a like. When I have had ego sex I have told the world but also just boast in front of myself, like sitting an laughing because I have tricked a girl into bed.

    Regarding emptiness one can feel empty as a consequence of chasing goals, but also if one relaxes too much and live balanced, especially if there is no passions and hobbies involved.

  21. Petruccio July 19, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Roosh, time to read Ecclesiastes again. It’s my favorite Bible book. Good reading for anyone whether religious, non-religious, or atheist.

  22. dyingtolivee July 19, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Another excellent article Roosh! As I kept reading from sentence to sentence, I kept nodding and appreciating the depth of thought that was poured on this page. I am also finding more of your self-introspective articles more exciting than the game-game bang-bang (looks like you aren’t so much about them that these days anyway). Might have to do with me inching towards that 30 mark, but I’m so loving all the reflective articles.

    1. Steve Jabba July 19, 2017 at 7:20 pm


      1. dyingtolivee July 19, 2017 at 7:26 pm

        Isn’t it what we signed up for? It’s not quite the internet without little rats like you.

  23. Righterous July 20, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    Happiness is just a habit. You can be happy because of nothing – and then nobody can manipulate you. And in the same time you can achieve.

  24. disqus_hwQ5qIZ0b3 July 21, 2017 at 5:09 am

    I feel the key is have a balanced mixture of self love for your ability, and a sense of duty and service to mankind. You must have passion for your talent to improve it, but it must be directed towards making the world more effective, beautiful, and truthful — not towards personal ambition.

  25. Lucius Clarus July 23, 2017 at 2:32 am

    This post spoke to me.

    I’m half a generation older than you, Roosh. I achieved a lot of things and became modestly successful materially and career-wise. I also spent years in the game banging girls to fill the hole created by being ultra-beta (rejection after crushing rejection, clinging to poor relationships because scarcity mentality) in my 20s.

    Shortly after I hit my 40s, got married and had kids the ambition just drained out of me. I have nothing more to prove, to myself or to anyone else. I had banged lots of girls. I ran a company. I made some money. I did public speaking. I started a business just to see if I could do it (still on that one). When I think about what it takes to make this business super big and myself $10 million+ — I just don’t want to pay the price. Selling for a small fraction of that is enough for me. My needs are modest and I like it that way. Now I value time and doing whatever the f*ck I want to do. Life is too short to be a slave, either to ambition, money or another man.

    The irony is I think you MUST go through the striving and filling of holes in order to get to this point of peace.

  26. skillett July 24, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    The dark side provides the initial impetus for mastery. As you aspire to become somebody. This is the necessary building of a material platform worthy of a divine being.

    But the focus must shift to one of more authentic, self-actualized spiritual realization. It is fine to go to work being motivated by the need for a paycheck. A necessary first stepp for most of us.

    But it is better if you love your work so much that you have perfect interest, selfless devotion and love what you are doing. So you can acheive FLOW !

    I usually do not acheive flow. I am at a lower level. Often, I begin the day with mild depression. Force myself to run, excercise, go to work etc. BUt aafter I begin the process of working, the fear, sense of futility and depression evaporates and the time passes with a degree of flow.

    No, not the ecstatic FLOW of an artist or saint. But the moral courage necessary to put one more fut in front of the other without it being a source of suffering..


  27. Maldek July 24, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    why would you want to go back?

    the purpose of reaching your goal – unless you are stupid – is to have it easier in the future. The benefit from it, without having to put on much time and energy, in the years to come.

    A simple example to show the point: You save money. It takes you work (energy) and time to do so. You buy a bond and each and every year you get 5% interest, without the need to invest any more energy and time.

    This is the true meaning of achievement.

    1. Muni_Corp_Citizen July 28, 2017 at 11:35 pm

      Five pct interest on a government bond?! Where?!

  28. moriyah July 24, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    Yeah, in opposition to Zanardi, you can go back to where you should have been all along but didn’t have the path.
    Women mature entirely at 25/26 while men only begin to mature at 35/37.
    So you see, Roosh, you have a long way to go yet.
    Find a really beautiful woman, inside and out, who wants children and give them to her. You will ultimately do more for her and them than you ever could or would for yourself.
    Then, when you have done that, you can do it again and again and again, but, don’t tell her.
    They never understand that capability men have which they don’t. They just fuck up what they have.

  29. harmoniclive chromatic July 24, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    i think andrea is a fake

  30. Juan Esteban July 25, 2017 at 9:08 am

    Roosh, I think the biggest missing piece in the puzzle of your life, is reproduction . If you are ever lucky enough to have a child, all of your intellectual angst will disappear. Reality and necessity are what is needed drive you to succeed. In the instant my daughter was born, my life changed forever. My priorities in life irrevocably changed once her little head popped out. I no longer had the desire to fuck strange women (although it came back later). My focus for achievement was no longer a personal goal for material goods or status. My focus became the security and well being of another human. It is the highest and most rewarding activity of all in life.

    Life is actually a lot simpler and less complicated when you get let nature take over. Just find a good and simple woman and knock out a kid. Then, you will know what real love is.

  31. TyskKille July 25, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    Achievement = Kratom^(Kratom x willpower x time)

  32. Muni_Corp_Citizen July 27, 2017 at 10:43 am

    Where would western civilization be if Europeans had no goals beyond daily living and contemplation? Certain groups and people have an innate need to feel the satisfaction of conquest, profit and the desire to create/invent. The question I would first ask to evaluate a goal’s worthiness, “to what (rational) end?”

  33. SmartSumo July 29, 2017 at 5:36 am

    Excellent post.
    I’m curious to know how different your reflections would be if you were a father today.

  34. Zarathoustra August 3, 2017 at 5:35 am

    In shorter words : it’s called a mid-life crisis.

  35. TSK August 6, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    “Let others choose to be a slave to numbers while you never lose touch of your true need.”

    whether it’s in form of amount of money, your weight, your height, your muscle size, penis size, video hit view counts, number of women banged, scores of attractiveness of women…

    all numbers…

  36. Joe August 15, 2017 at 11:11 am

    I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
    I really love to watch them roll
    No longer riding on the merry-go-round
    I just had to let it go…..John Lennon

    Congrats Roosh. It is a great feeling isn’t it?

  37. Willy the Wizard August 17, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    Fantastic article. As someone who’s had much success in the music biz, charted on billboard, top 3% of income earners, parties with billionaires, and arm candy beta CEO millionaires would kill to be seen with, i can tell you first hand, it doesn’t fill the voids you might think it would; in fact it often creates others. I’ve found way hotter and sexually satisfying women in Hickville USA than in East Hampton, NY and there IS something to be said for having a great woman to come home to who honestly cares and listens to you talk about your crappy day. Many of these so called “beautiful people” are in fact spiritually bankrupt and in many ways, it becomes a sparkling Pacific ocean filled with salt water no wise man would ever drink. That said, music itself and the creation of it with extraordinary others with whom I collaborate and trust is still a great joy. And in the end, you learn that play counts and TV has very little to do with true musical “success.”
    Bravo Roosh!