Affection Follow-Up

Well that was quick.

Why is it so rare to find girls who put out a natural warmth and openness where you can cut through the manufactured bullshit and start to connect like two normal human beings?

March 14, 2007

I met a girl in a club one week after I wrote that. Even though her parents weren’t from the U.S., she put out a very strong American vibe since she was raised here since puberty (pink Coach bag, Asian-straight hair, fake tan, etc.). American girls are not my number one preference but as long as she is cute and not a complete moron, I’m going for sex. We talked for about 30 minutes with light petting involved. She had to leave because her girlfriend’s boyfriend got into a fight or something, so it was time to wrap it up.

“I think we should hang out for a drink,” I said.

You know her answer is going to be good or else I wouldn’t write about this.

“That can be arranged.”

It gets me so hot when girls treat me like a coworker. Going forward, can we add value in Meeting Room 2? I want to leverage your best-of-breed interface so bad…

:bukkake:

I guess I’m asking for too much to want replies like “I’d love to” or even “I’d like that” because then she would be showing too much interest and I would stop considering her as a life partner. I got her number anyway because I was horny at the time, but why bother calling when you know at the very least you will be subjected to phone tag and “Let me check my schedule”? It’s time to hold girls to a higher standard where wanting to go out with me is not enough: I want you to show more enthusiasm than someone in one of those in-and-out comas.

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Days of Broken Arrows
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Days of Broken Arrows
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That sounds like cute, somewhat coy answer. Like something from an old black-and-white movie. I think you’re reading her words the wrong way. Also, I think for the long haul you WANT females to be somewhat shy or even standoffish. An aggressive young female turns into a dominating shrew in a few years (and I know this from experience not mere observation).

Unless she said this with some kind of nasty inflection, I’d reassess this situation.

inowpronounceyou
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When I read “that can be arranged” I thought this post was going in a completely different direction. I think she was just being coy, and especially if there was some light petting going on. How direct is direct enough?

me
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me
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Jeez Roosh, you are impossible. Can we say overanalyzing? You parse words so much that I might mistake you for a fellow lawyer. And we all know how much you LOVE lawyers. =) Next time relax and give the girl a break.

Roissy
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there’s something to be said for bullheaded persistence. sure, assuming she wasn’t being cute like dba said above, odds are she’s assembly line american chick with affection issues who will give you the runaround. but if you don’t mind the challenge of barreling through this inane bullshit, you’ll often find a sweetly subservient girl on the other side.

i once asked a girl out over the phone who said “i don’t remember, what was your name again?” this was not one day after we had met at a bar and laughed it up for over an hour. now, she was pretty hot, so it’s possible she talked to a lot of guys that night and really couldn’t remember. or she may have been playing games. the real reason didn’t matter. i could have written her off easily since i was seeing two other girls at the time and there was no urgency to make it work with this one, but in fact those sexual outlets gave me the calm i needed to patiently maneuver around her huge ego. once breached, the payoff was a ready-to-please addition to my stable of regulars. her initial cockiness turned out to be riddled with insecurities.

virglekent
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virglekent
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ha ha ha “let me check my schedule”

Girls I tell you what can’t live with em, can’t kill em. oh well

mm
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mm
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I’m with the bulk of the commenters. I thought it was a good response. I’m just imagining a hot girl, fiddling with her drink, with a sexy smirk on her face. That response meant she was interested, but not desperate. She probably would have been someone worth the time and effort. Your loss.

Some Catchy Chic
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If she gave you her number, she is interested. That should be enough for a guy these days. The people who are overly obvious and flirtatious are probably the ones lacking the attention.

Jay Gatsby
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Jay Gatsby
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Roosh is right, but sadly he wants what most women aren’t prepared to give, namely, a straight answer. Most women communicate indirectly, and get angry at men if they don’t get it (sometimes referred to as reading a woman’s mind).

Roissy also raises a good point, in that a man who already has a few plates spinning isn’t going to be as annoyed as one who has no plates spinning. The former won’t be as disappointed as the latter if she’s playing games. Sorting through her games isn’t necessarily a waste of time, since if he’s successful he has another plate to spin, but if he isn’t, then he still has his other plates. It’s like a hungry man who already has a couple of menu choices available, versus the hungry man who is starving and has nothing to eat.

ribald
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dude i am so in agreement on this. like it would f’ing kill any female to say “i’d love to” or respond nicely when you pay them this kind of attention. attitude usually found in girls who play with their blackberries at bars and clubs at night, stay away from these types at all costs…

freckledk
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I agree. I immediately thought that she was just being coy. Call her.

terps
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terps
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HOW did she say those words?

“that can be arranged” – nervously fiddling with her car keys, nodding at a rapid pace, looking over your shoulder, fake smile, and an overall hesitant and tense look. Not interested.

“that can be arranged” – sexy smirk, head tilted, eye gazing at you, flipping her hair, protruding her tits at you. INTERESTED. Call her.

makes all the difference

ribald
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ribald
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no, no, no — it doesn’t matter what her body language was — the fact that she has to flaunt some air of superiority, as if she wants the guy who’s asking her out to feel that she’s so superior to him, is what makes her problematic. again, why can’t she just say “how nice of you to ask, i’d be happy to meet you for drinks.”

how many licks to the center of a tootsie roll pop? doesn’t matter — better question is, how many episodes of sex/city or bad meg ryan movies does a female need to watch before her poor mind is warped into believing that being a bitch or acting illogically toward a man’s (at least any quality alpha male) advances is the best way to his heart? keep in mind that this shitty behavior is very common in DC girls, you’re not as likely to find it outside our geographic area. not that does us any good, living in DC. i would never, ever under any circumstances tolerate this kind of behavior on a date, let alone agree to make plans with any girl who can’t show some honest, sincere enthusiasm because i asked her out, period.

terps
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terps
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geez, a little paranoid are we?

me
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me
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“how many episodes of sex/city or bad meg ryan movies does a female need to watch before her poor mind is warped into believing that being a bitch or acting illogically toward a man’s (at least any quality alpha male) advances is the best way to his heart?”– its pretty hilarious that somebody actually thinks he can make this type of a judgment about somebody based on a four word sentance. Clearly you are letting your biases get the better of you. We get it– men hate Sex and the City. Let’s not forget, she said she would go out with him. It seems to me that anybody who would be so quick to rule someone out based on the way in which she said yes to a date probably isn’t mature enough to be dating anyway.

terps
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and… “no, no, no — it doesn’t matter what her body language was”

LOL you can’t be serious?! anyone who thinks that body language doesn’t matter is just crazy.

Roissy
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me:
It seems to me that anybody who would be so quick to rule someone out based on the way in which she said yes to a date probably isn’t mature enough to be dating anyway.

what if she answered this way:
“yes, i’ll squeeze you in between my dates with the Ibanker-turned-philanthropist and ex-nfl running back for a quick drink at your expense, assuming you will pick me up in a luxury vehicle appropriate to your age bracket and that you will be nonjudgmental about my short stint as a midget bukkake receptacle.”

keepin it real.

terps
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“yes, i’ll squeeze you in between my dates with the Ibanker-turned-philanthropist and ex-nfl running back for a quick drink at your expense, assuming you will pick me up in a luxury vehicle appropriate to your age bracket and that you will be nonjudgmental about my short stint as a midget bukkake receptacle.”

now that’s what I’d walk away from. not that any woman has ever said something like that…

The Dude
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The Dude
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Wow. Some of you guys have issues. I totally agree in general with Roosh here. Women should not shy away from affection– it is lovely and contrary to all that sex and the city bullshit– it is the way to get a guy.

With respect to this chick I am totally in the it-depends-on-body-language camp. I love one a girl plays a little coy and this would have totally turned me on.

LaPay
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LaPay
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I think you’re asking too much with a line like “I think we should hang out for a drink.” Her response was pretty much on par with your 6th grade-like invitation that is basically the equivalent of text messaging girls to ask them out for fear of being rejected. Why not try using the phrase, “do you want to grab a drink with me sometime?” or some more creative variant. Asking passive questions gets you passive responses.

Jewcano
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Jewcano
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“do you want to grab a drink with me sometime?” can logically be followed up with “Pretty please? With sugar on top?” It is a beta question, implying your willingness but stating clearly the decision belongs to the woman.

“I think we should hang out for a drink.” instead states “Here’s what I want to do, and I’m sure you’re not going to object, and I’m not interested in any mixed signals you wish to throw to intrigue me.” It is an alpha proposition. Sure, it may seem obnoxious to the coy; in most places in the world you wouldn’t need to bother with this. But in this neighborhood everyone thinks they’re too high-powered anyway, so if you don’t immediately assume the high ground you’re due to be trampled on.

LaPay
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LaPay
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Wow. And here I thought the “alpha” tactic would entail making straightforward statements which do not require reading thru the lines. When did asking a question become beta behavior? And whatever happened to being direct with someone and not playing games?

And just as a refresher on how to interact with other humans: when you want someone to do something, the decision to do it generally rests with the other person, whether they’re a woman or not, and this is usually preceded by a question.

Lisa
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When I hear “we should hang out sometime” I automatically think yeah, this guy is a player, and a player not trying very hard at that. (hello default game) Hearing “we should hang out” especially when accompanied by the tilted head and from-the-corner-of-the-eye glance immediately knocks my dominoes down. I would probably have responded the same way as that girl because I’d already be steeling myself for your likewise brisk, businesslike attempt to pump and dump me. But, she just couldn’t stop herself from giving you her phone number so you might try calling her once. She might be one of those girls who knows it’s going to turn out bad but can’t say no to the temptation. However, if a guy said “we should hang out” in such a way that didn’t imply anything other than a genuine enthusiasm for my company it would be different. How did you say it to her? On the other hand, there was light petting…so many things to consider…

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[…] Her response? no bullshit—”that can be arranged.” I immediately thought about your recent post on this issue, and gave her a quick 2 minute verbal lashing asking her why she’s treating me […]

Xn
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Sounds like American culture corrupts people-including women- and the world-especially American man- suffers for that.
Is it Karma?