All Experience Is Equal

There was a man who had two job offers on the table. One job was at a large corporation. The pay was high and he would work with the eminent experts in his field, but the company’s culture was boring and there were many layers of stifling bureaucracy.  The second offer was at a startup. The pay was low, but the stock options meant a small chance of getting rich in an IPO. The culture was fun, with a segway scooter that could be used during work hours, but the work environment was raw, with not even an IT guy to help solve computer problems. The company may not survive the year.

The gain and loss from either experience is the same. There is no difference. The benefit of one will be balanced by the loss of the other, and less than one hour of this man’s time should be spent in reaching a decision.

The rich man’s stress and anxiety is balanced by the impoverished man’s leisure. The entertainer’s fame is balanced by the humble man’s privacy. The explorer’s adventure is balanced by the government official’s comfort and stability. Nature favors balance and equilibrium, preventing one man’s life, as a whole, from exceeding the other. This is obvious when listening to the dreams of men; they always pick a quality that their opposite has. The rich man dreams of leisure while the homeless man dreams of wealth. The entertainer dreams of privacy while the office clerk wants to be a star. No matter what you achieve, there will be a quality you lack, and movement to the other extreme in order to satisfy it will merely bring upon another missing ingredient.

Nature’s balance must be recognized and obeyed, not fought or analyzed. Any perceived benefit to one decision over the other is due to your own bias and character. The horny man will be more satisfied if he picks Thailand over Saudi Arabia, but taking into account his whole organism, and not just his penis, he will suffer no loss in Saudi Arabia, where time freed from chasing women can be spent on growing a business or reading books. There is no incorrect choice. What you gain from one you lose in another. All is equal in nature’s ledger.

A man is faced with dating either a girl who is a 9 or one who is a 7. He picks the 9, a choice that most men would make. He is validated with her in public when many other people stare at his catch. His ego is stroked, and he enjoys her beauty. But she is harder to manage. Suitors keep sending her offers of courtship, and it is a constant challenge for him to prove he is better than them all. She puts little effort into the relationship and the sex is average. She inevitably dumps him for a better man.

He then seeks out the 7. He apologizes for passing on her. She accepts his apology and they enter a relationship. She provides him with no ego validation, but relations with her are easier and more enjoyable. She becomes his sex slave in bed. Her profuse affections make him feel loved, but at the same time he is frustrated at seeing many girls on the street who are more beautiful than her. He is constantly filled with a need to do better. He takes a break from the relationship to travel to a country where he heard beautiful women are plentiful and easy.

In the eyes of nature, both girls are equal. They gave no overall difference to the man’s happiness—they just provided different kinds of happiness.

It is not important to use logic in making decisions, because nature doesn’t operate on logic. While there are exceptions to this rule that stem from a lack of virtue, such as killing a man and then losing one’s freedom, it makes little difference if you pick one job over another, one girl over another, one country over another.

Most decisions in life offer two propositions: one is easier but makes you weaker while one is harder but makes you stronger. One month you can be weak, and the next month you can be strong, or vice versa. It makes no difference. Only a fool who denies human nature uses computations in deciding on a course, because it is a guarantee that those computations are incorrect, and don’t agree with nature’s formula. In the entirety of your being, outcomes are the same. Your penis may hate you in Saudi Arabia, but your brain and liver will love you. Your bank account will hate you in the startup, but your adventurous and entrepreneurial spirit will thank you.

I picked a wrong city to live in for two months. It’s boring and dull. That’s fine, because I can work hard. Another time I picked poosy paradise. Everything is great, and I’m bedding many women. But I did no work, and now I’m fatigued and short on money. It then becomes the right time to pick a boring city again. This is the cycle of nature, where the order of one experience over the other, or the conscious application of logic, makes no difference to the final benefit (or detriment) to your self.

You can’t appreciate the good unless you’ve experienced the bad. You can’t enjoy wealth unless you’ve been poor. You can’t enjoy women unless you’ve gone without them. The contradiction of life is that what you see as failure is actually needed to enjoy success, and success is then needed to make you complacent and revert back to failure, which then pushes you back to success. This is what nature prefers, and by starting experiences without doing a cost-benefit analysis, without agonizing over needless details, you are like water in the river of existence. Attempting to manage your experience with logic and predictions, or developing firm expectations in an unfirm world, will only lead to suffering and stagnation. You must let go and flow with outcomes, one after the other, squeezing out the pleasures of life, whether sweet or bitter, before moving on to the next experience in store. Taste life as it is, and enjoy the balance that is the destiny for us all, no matter where our journey finally ends.

Read Next: Less Knowledge Is More


  1. Tyler September 26, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Wise beyond your years.

  2. bee-bee September 26, 2013 at 9:31 am

    This is something that is lacking in the whole dating community, the concept of balance. Many PUAs say you have to approach full-time, otherwise you will forever be a chump who is destined to jerk off at night. Like anything in life, everything has pros and cons and being able to balance it in your favor is a worthy thing to achieve.

    Great post Roosh!

  3. Mike September 26, 2013 at 10:05 am

    There is no such thing as ‘having it all’. It’s a pipe dream

    1. captain america September 26, 2013 at 10:43 am

      yes. as a veteran of a failed marriage to a hot, young ukrainian girl, i always want to warn guys who are new to eastern europe and think they’ve hit the relationship jackpot, but i know they won’t listen. i wouldn’t have back then either.

      1. Carlos Geijo September 26, 2013 at 12:37 pm

        What happened? What is your advice?

      2. Bring forth the Mountain September 26, 2013 at 3:46 pm

        Captain America we ‘re hanging on your words. Please respond

      3. Mike September 26, 2013 at 4:34 pm

        I think he’s saying that a young eastern european wife isn’t the solve-all solution that it may appear to be.

        Nobody has it all.

      4. captain america September 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm

        yes, what mike said, even though it seems that way when you first get to eastern europe. that’s what makes a place like ukraine so dangerous when you don’t understand the culture and don’t know the basics of game. don’t get me wrong, i’d probably still take the average ukrainian woman over the average american. it’s just that rather than expecting it to be easy with an eastern european girl, you have to realize that you’ll just have a different set of problems than you would with an american girl.

      5. Here comes daddy September 28, 2013 at 9:31 am

        what problems did you encounter man ? We ‘re literally hangin’ on your words !! please tell us.

      6. Lucasgrijander October 3, 2013 at 9:26 pm

        What are those problems, specifically?

        We all know (too well) the problems with Western/American girls. It would be great to hear about Eastern European girls, from someone who’s been there for a long time, not just banging them (good as banging them is).

        I am really interested.

      7. Bring forth the Mountain September 27, 2013 at 7:42 pm

        So what happened in your case ?

  4. Kieran September 26, 2013 at 10:45 am

    I don’t agree with this post. The examples given lead the reader to a false conclusion; It’s quite possible to live in pussy paradise and still get work done if you have self discipline, the person choosing between the two jobs would be better off simply looking for another job that better fits his needs etc.

    Of course it’s not possible to have it all, but with good choices you can have a much better lot than most, and with all the information available today through the internet etc, it really is possible to be whatever you want to be, and live a life of your own design.

    1. Kaii September 26, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      I always hear “it’s impossible to have it all”. Why? That is the question I ask. Why is it impossible? Lack of resources, intelligence, discipline? I always wonder if we just sell ourselves short.

      My two coppers.

      1. Mike September 27, 2013 at 10:27 am

        It’s impossible because the law of nature is that THINGS CHANGE.

        Moods change, situations change, ideas changes, motivations change, people change, cities get tsunami’d, people die, people get sued, whatever.

        Yes, a good positive attitude will help navigate the toughest situations in life but you can never count on an all-inclusive perfect life experience at all times.

        It’s impossible goal and goes against nature which rules all.

  5. Vince September 26, 2013 at 11:56 am

    You’re losing it, dude. Nihilism and moral relativism. Continuing in such a vein will risk the alienation of your core audience.

    1. Harland September 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      So a man should change who he is and how he feels to please others?

      I think you were never the “core audience” in the first place.

      1. Vince September 26, 2013 at 5:49 pm

        You sound like a real acolyte. I could be wrong, but my guess is that like me, most guys here started following Roosh’s work because it was a call to arms of sorts centered on traveling, scoring high-quality pussy, and improving oneself in myriad ways. To put it succinctly, some of his posts in the last few months bare little resemblance to his prior work, which I consider more applicable to my goals and others like me. That said, of course it goes without saying that he can write whatever the hell he wants. But I just can’t imagine how a thinking person could fail to see how this latest post, and even the title itself—“All Experience is Equal”—reeks of a revisionism that undermines his previous stuff. Nothing personal.

      2. Vince September 26, 2013 at 6:29 pm

        *substitute “bear” for “bare”

      3. Harland September 27, 2013 at 1:22 am

        So, having had these experiences, he’s grown while you’re still stuck in your ways? And you just can’t imagine how a “thinking person” could possibly think differently from yourself.

        I’m not an “acolyte”, whatever that means. 2nd level cleric, right?

      4. Vince September 27, 2013 at 7:20 am

        In this context acolyte means someone who follows and admires a leader.

    2. Kingsley September 26, 2013 at 5:45 pm

      “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

  6. gunshoppingatthemall September 26, 2013 at 11:59 am

    its better to be a hedge fund manager than to work at McDonald’s, any downside to the hedge position is negligible compared to being at the bottom (McDonald’). There is no way to argue that both person will be equally happy…

    1. Lewis F September 26, 2013 at 12:12 pm

      you just missed the entire point of the post

      1. Viceroy September 26, 2013 at 12:36 pm

        But not the talking points on which it is predicated. Roosh made a lot of mistakes in exposition.

    2. Guest September 28, 2013 at 1:15 am

      He’s not saying equally happy. He’s saying there is an opportunity cost and trade off for every path you take. A failed hedge fund manager (hedge funds have a high failure rate) may very well be less happy than a star McDonalds manager who eventually runs multiple franchises.

  7. Virgle Kent September 26, 2013 at 12:20 pm


    You are writing on a different level these days. You sound like a man who’s found inner happiness and you aren’t worried about basic PUA bull shit. I would not worry about alienating your core audience those who have been with you since the beginning are older now and growing as well. This is the commonsense shit we need.

    I’m speaking your language

    1. Vince September 26, 2013 at 6:22 pm

      Insofar as the post is about everything being a tradeoff, take the good with the bad, etc., that’s all well and good. But these concepts are commonplace to the point of cliche. To me, the post has a tone of authorship more akin to an eastern guru than a successful practitioner of lifestyle independence and game. I don’t mean to come off as vitriolic. It’s just that I used to be really excited to read Roosh’s posts, invariably checking in on his site daily, but lately, I find my enthusiasm tempering by the day. Vilify me all you want, but I know I’m not the only one with this opinion.

  8. Carlos Geijo September 26, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    I really liked this post. Very interesting insights.

  9. uncle September 26, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    “This is what nature prefers, and by starting experiences…”

    fucking nature! can’t it just leave us alone?

  10. Deek September 26, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Good stuff Bro!

  11. Quintus Curtius September 26, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Very wise exposition on the system dynamics of trade-offs.

  12. redpillmtl September 26, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Awesome post.

    I was hating coming over to Africa since it seemed to me like a “dead place”, but I got off drugs, cigarettes, started lifting, and started writing the book I always wanted to write. I’m also learning spanish, coding and network technology. All because I am not in a “happening city” like montreal.

    Now, I don’t even want to go back. Sure I haven’t racked as many notches but I am a much more whole and I daresay attractive person than I was

  13. Phil September 26, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    These sorts of posts are my favorite, Roosh.

  14. gadabout September 26, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    Life is too short not to enjoy the present. There is no end goal, only a fortune of experiences. Great post.

  15. anon1 September 26, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    just world fallacy

  16. G Ron September 26, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Roosh this is incredible- it opens my eyes because im looking at career options on the West coast do i go to Seattle the Bay Area or San Diego???? At the end of the day it doesn’t matter there’s pros and cons every where.

    It’s the same with women whether you lack or not- it’s a continual ebb and flow
    Of energy.

  17. Alex Kierkegaard September 26, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Makeshift philosophy by uneducated people for uneducated people. “All choices are equal” is such a dumb proposition that I struggle to imagine the kind of person who would require a refutation of it.

    “In the eyes of nature, both girls are equal.”

    If a 7 is equal to a 9, then surely a 2 is equal to an 8 too, no? What rubbish. “Nature” here means “Roosh”, because in the eyes of nature a prettier girl makes healthier babies, and that’s why we prefer them.

    Roosh is uneducated. He does his readers a disservice by peddling them his dumbass pseudophilosophical musings as if they were something profound.

    1. Vince September 27, 2013 at 7:21 am

      “The gain and loss from either experience is the same. There is no difference.”: If Roosh is sporting a Fu Manchu now, this could become temptingly convincing.

      “Nature’s balance must be recognized and obeyed, not fought or analyzed”: Then why analyze anything?…just “obey”

      “Any perceived benefit to one decision over the other is due to your own bias and character.”: Gay.

      “In the eyes of nature, both girls are equal.”: Really, ever heard of natural selection? How about evolutionary biology and psychology? In any event, let’s everyone here start hooking up with 2s on the steady.

      “Only a fool who denies human nature uses computations in deciding on a course, because it is a guarantee that those computations are incorrect, and don’t agree with nature’s formula.”: Gee, the cost-benefit thing worked well for Benjamin Franklin, but yeah, screw that guy, Roosh MUST be right.

    2. Matt September 27, 2013 at 5:39 pm

      Alex, do you want to know how I know that you are a complete and total loser?

      Your negativity.

    3. blogster25 . September 29, 2013 at 2:02 pm

      OK, very clear you didn’t read the article or understand what he means by equality. perhaps reading it again may help. maybe not.

      1. AK September 29, 2013 at 8:37 pm

        This is what I mean by “uneducated” and “makeshift philosophy”. It doesn’t matter what he MEANT, the only thing that matters is what he WROTE, and what he wrote is: “In the eyes of nature, both girls are equal”, which is so astoundingly idiotic that it defies belief. It is precisely because in the eyes of nature the girls are NOT equal that one appears to us as “hot” and the other as “mediocre” — all the rest is rationalization because Roosh, like most PUAs, clearly has a problem in keeping the hotter girls around.

  18. Dagonet September 26, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    This is the concept of “dynamic equilibrium,” and it is found throughout nature. When things reach balance they don’t become static, but rather continue fluctuating back and forth fluidly.

    One specific example is found in cellular osmosis: Water will always balance its purity on both sides of a cell membrane; once this balance is reached, water molecules continue pouring back and forth, while maintaining the balance of purity on both sides.

  19. Bring forth the Mountain September 27, 2013 at 6:49 am

    TO ANYONE who DISAGREES with Roosh
    It is my opinion that the fact that you are addressing your discontent to Roosh with regard to the latest posts is part of your misunderstanding of this site’s function. This site ( blog, what have you ) serves, in my opinion, SOLELY as a customer funnel. (do you remember Roosh’s Fuck Funnel ?). You, the disagreeing parties, are of no interest to the funnel and his user, because YOU WOULDN’T PAY for anything anyway.
    Those who disagree, even if totally disregarded, serve a PURPOSE though, and a very important one : By taking the role of an “enemy” of Roosh, they help flok together Roosh’s Fanboys ( you know, those Fanboys who will give money to Big Daddy Roosh in the same way a homosexual offers his “holes” to his lovers )
    Because, and don’t forget this – this site’s purpose is to make money for Roosh.
    I mean this not as an insult. What a lovely thing it is to be making money for nothing … and to be getting your chicks for free …

    This site/blog is the natural evolution of the art passing yourself as a father figure ( see “Cults” ) to those who desire to become fanboys and suck somebody’s dick ( In case you didn’t know, which I am sure you don’t. Oedipus’ complex goes both ways. And by that I mean that the male child wants to have “sex” BOTH with the mother and father. There are people out there trapped within this complex, who want a Daddy ).

    I am very interested in this money making machine that Roosh has created.
    Hence, if I would address Roosh, I would probably ask him the MOST IMPORTANT Question, which is “How much money have you made ? How much from each product ? Do you keep making money from your fanbase ? Has it declined ? ”
    The reason that I would want to ask this is because, in my opinion, there is a lack of truly UNBIASED posts (in my opinion, Roosh’s posts are totally biased due to the filter that his issues generate)

    Now, think of the crap that Roosh has been posting lately, and compare to what I have just posted … Who would you rather read more from ?

    Sure all experience is Equal … This is why it doesn’t matter if you ‘re born tall, with a good face, if you ‘re muscular, if you ‘re social, if your family is made up of happy normal individuals, if you find good friends and women along your path. This is why it doesn’t matter if you ‘ve lived the life of that man. Because in the end you ‘re both gonna look and act and feel the same. NOT.
    Jesus, how much worse can the advice get ?

    That lawyer guy with all his connections and money has one thing to explain though : “Given his connections and money, WHY oh WHY, did he have to travel across the world to get laid (if he did just for the adventure, then congrats) ? Why did he not create some sort of expanded social circle that would GUARANTEE him CONSTANT pussy ? Because as we all know, we CONSTANTLY need pussy. Is there something WRONG with him that does not allow him to form a social circle in the US despite his money and connections ? And if yes, than what is that ?

  20. Clark September 27, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Since all experience is equal, would you like go back to the US, get married and have children and have a life which would balance that of a bachelor that has his freedom and who get to keep his assets?

    1. Roosh_V September 27, 2013 at 12:26 pm

      You are mistaking “experience” for “permanent lifestyle change.”

      1. Bring forth the Mountain September 27, 2013 at 7:55 pm

        He is not mistaking anything.

        His small paragraph TOTALLY DEMOLISHED everything you have said.
        A permanent lifestyle change can be an experience. You said “All experiences are equal”.
        And if all experiences (or lifestyle changes) are equal, then why not try marrying some girl in the US.

        You Roosh and others like you have destroyed lives. OUR lives. You and others like you have fillled up our heads with idiotic ideas instead of helping us become normal people. You have blood on your hands buddy.
        The problem is that you also have your own blood on your hands. You have destroyed your life as well. Now what ? Now we all need better advice on how to become normal.

        Take us to the mountain that is higher than us.
        Take us to the man who will tell us how to become normal.

      2. Here comes daddy September 28, 2013 at 9:25 am

        Since Roosh is trying to :
        1.keep his money making business from collapsing
        2.keep himself ( well at least his Ego is trying to do this, through its Defences ) locked in his PSYCHOSIS

        He has BLOCKED my IP address from posting on this thread. Little did he know …

        The shit has hit the fun bigboy. NOT because we say so, but because you are slowly rotting deep inside. What do we want from you ? To find the way to drag yourself from this empty life you ve put yourself into, and SHARE it with us, OR … lead us to another guy who can HELP us revert to normal …

        P.S. I am not talking about becoming pussy whipped. I am talking about building a normal rich life

      3. Here comes daddy September 28, 2013 at 9:28 am

        Here comes daddy … aka … Bring forth the Mountain

      4. Lucasgrijander October 3, 2013 at 9:23 pm

        But then how do you consider those “permanent lifestyle change” decisions in this balanced-life approach?

        Because those ones cannot be balanced with anything, can they?

    2. Here comes daddy September 28, 2013 at 9:21 am

      He is NOT MISTAKING ANYTHING. You are the one who’s playing with words.
      Being at a lagre corporation or at a startup can be very different from each other. Each job will dictate a different lifestyle. The same holds true for everything else.
      His small paragraph TOTALLY DEMOLISHED your post. Period. Anyone who is not suffering from PSYCHOSIS can see that.

      Now lets get back to what’s important. You and other PUA’s have been giving out detrimental advice and information for years. You have messed up our lives, and there is a large portion of us that want to get back to being normal. By being normal I certainly don’t mean being pussy whipped, but creating a world around you.

      Is there ANYONE reading this blog who knows what can be done to achieve normalcy ?
      Being for so many years away from it, I have lost track of it, and the people I have met in the course of these years were unfortunately not normal themselves

  21. Ida September 27, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Guys, you have to remember one thing – this thing you call losing feminity is at the same time the reason why you can have one-night stands and other sex options without having to build a relationship first.

    Maybe women were more feminine 100 years ago, but for sure they were more prude, and not necessarily becasue of inborn prudery, but because these were also times when a woman engaging in sex for pleasure was considered to be a bitch by society, brought shame to her family or lost chance to get married to a good guy in the future.

    As with every change in society – there are good and bad sides to it. If you want to have sex with women, you have to accept the fact that they behave differently than their greatgrandmothers and this means bigger openess to sex, but not only this.

    Would you really choose these “old-time” girls, with all their charm and sensuality, knowing they wouldn’t agree to suck your dicks or engage in other naughty games?

  22. Darren September 27, 2013 at 10:25 am

    Bashar on following your excitement: So, every moment, if you simply choose the thing that excites you the most at that moment — out of all the things that you have available to you that you have the best ability to actually take action on — do it. Take action on that thing. When you can take action on that thing no further, look around for the next most exciting thing you have the greatest ability to take action on and do that. Once you start doing that, once you get into that pattern, you will sensitize yourself to the idea of excitement. You’ll become a better sensor for the concept of what does excite you and what doesn’t. And you won’t create so many things to consider before you will simply be willing to take action on your excitement.

    Not only because of that, not only because you become a better sensor of it, but also because you begin to understand the principle that excitement is it’s own self-contained kit and it’s own driving engine. When you act on your excitement to the best of your ability every moment, you begin to experience synchronistically that the exciting thing you’re doing actually contains all of the things you actually need to consider. And what it doesn’t contain, you don’t need to consider.

    It’s a self-contained kit that always perpetuates more of the same — more excitement — and brings with it the things that actually are important for you to look at in that process of continuing and expanding your excitement.
    That’s what you want. You want that passion. You want that vibration. You want to understand the excitement. What you translate as that feeling. That love, that passion IS the vibration of your true, natural self in the way you were actually created. That’s why it’s always the beacon to move toward. You’re actually moving toward yourself, and more and more and more of yourself every time you are willing to take a step toward your excitement by acting on the situation that contains the most of it without cluttering it up with other things that actually are not a part of that excitement.

    But, if those things come up, you don’t deny them. You recognize they’re there for a reason and the reason they’re there are for you to understand what information they have for you, by processing them, that will tell you more about who you are so that in learning more of who you are you can continue to act more and more and more every day and every moment on more of your excitement.

    I guarantee to all of you this is how life works and this is how it will become an ecstatic explosion of excitement and synchronicity the more that you trust it. The more that you live it. You will see that it is so. It will prove itself to you, but you have to take the first step. And remember: It is “believing is seeing.” Not seeing is believing.

  23. WBX September 27, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    In all seriousness, Roosh is the most relevant writer of our time. No one is better.

  24. Giovonny September 27, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    I like when you write like this. I call it “Buddhist Roosh”. Life is a Mind Game
    Game should empower us to lead happier lives.
    If you are miserable, I don’t consider you successful (Unless, you really want misery)
    “There is a balance of joy and pain that balance all men”

  25. Sourin September 28, 2013 at 4:32 am

    One of your more profound posts… been on a tear lately!

  26. Nick September 28, 2013 at 11:07 am

    The part about dating a 7 or a 9 hit home for me. I’m in Poland now and grappling with whether I want to keep gaming and keep dating, just to be with a girl who is a little more attractive than the last. I think you reach a point of diminishing returns quickly. Like you said, even with the 9, there are tradeoffs, most frustratingly from a ceaseless torrent of guys pursuing her and inflating her ego. She’s only human and if she’s in her prime, she may go for someone else. I’ve been seeing a girl lately that turns heads wherever we go. At first it inflates your ego, then you recognize that the world is full of hungry wolves who just want a piece of what you have.

  27. AVivaldi September 28, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Fluctuating cycles of rebirth; Freud’s grandson’s fort-da game; Ecclesiastes-a time for everything. It’s my (and others’) opinion that sending the libido out beyond one’s self (desire) is the cause of them all.
    “You must let go and flow with outcomes”; Master the art of “moving while standing still – or standing still while moving”. I swim every morning and the water is cold. Everyone knows the water is cold but people react to this reality differently. Some people convince themselves that it isn’t, for whatever reason. They force their desire to conform to the wishes of their ego’s ideal (or their ideal ego) – because as you say, calculations have led them to see one outcome as better than other. Other people allow their ego to conform to their desire (or their desire to their ego). They aren’t worried about appearances, right or wrong, the other as ideal. Instead they seek to maximize pleasure by retaining their libido (desire) within themselves even as they participate in a pleasurable (because they retain their libido) dyadic relationship with their ego and external world. Sure sometimes the ego and external world win out – I must complete this project, I must send this document out etc.; but sometimes our desire will triumph – I will follow my heart, regardless of the consequences. All desire will make us psychopathic (beasts) as we force the world to fit our desire. And all world/ego will make us psychopathic (deities) as their is no heart and feeling behind our actions. Living in balance not only maximises our pleasure, but it allows us to be human.

  28. Nguyen Improved September 28, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Most of your writing is spot on. This post left me cold though. Could encourage a fatalistic outlook if “everything is equal”.

  29. Aristotle September 28, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    “It is not important to use logic in making decisions, because nature doesn’t operate on logic.”

    Dude… really?

  30. g status September 28, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    awesome just what I needed today!

  31. Psychonaut September 29, 2013 at 2:34 am

    This is alright. Peace.

  32. Fresh September 29, 2013 at 5:21 am

    Deep wisdom.

    I think that those who criticize this post for relativism and fatalism miss the point.

    Of course not all girls are equal, some are pretty AND nice, and others are ugly AND bitchy. But “you always have to make choices”, and accept trade offs, and that’s what this post is about.

    It is also my experience that pretty girls’ main advantage, is to show her off like a nice car, to make your friends jealous. They are often childish because the world (thirsty guys) is at their feet and obeys to their every whim.

    If you decide to have a girl for yourself, unrelated to what society says a desirable girl is, it can be a better deal to get a more average looking girl that will enjoy playing video games with you (if youre a geek) and have deeper conversation.

    Same with jobs, cities, and lifestyles in general. The important is to have some idea of the pros and cons involved before you make an important decision. So a more accurate headline would be : all experience involves trade-offs, pros and cons.

    Others dismiss the post for being pseudo philosphy. I for one prefer this kind of text which is easy to understand for common people like me, and is grounded in empirical experience, instead of huge philosophy books written by people who never left the library, and that I have to read the wikipedia article to understand what they’re trying to say.
    Nice work.

  33. PaulMurrayCbr September 30, 2013 at 9:28 am

    And yet half the industrialised world’s people have been told they can “have it all”.

  34. Marcos October 2, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    I’ve been reading this blog consistently for years now, never really comment. HOWEVER, this is probably one of the top 3 posts, easily the most enlightening and life changing one. This is wisdom. Wisdom inside of me, that I know. But pulled out of the depths of the corners of my being, and articulated by Roosh in a way that can really be digested, understood and appreciated. Good writing doesn’t push an agenda, it resonates. This is a short simple piece, but its a symphony.

  35. LucasGrijander October 3, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    This goes straight to Bookmarks.

    The never-ending cycle of satisfaction & dissatisfaction, who feed on each other at every step in our lives.

  36. Jsprint October 14, 2013 at 5:05 am

    One of my favorite Roosh articles. He is offering such real perspective. I’m dissapointed at some of the reactions here, how many times do you want Roosh to write about banging a European 8. Yes the stories are great but an article like this is valuable too.

  37. Beaky November 10, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    George Harrison was asked what it was liked being a Beatle. He replied, what is it like not being a beatle. If you have one experience you cant have another experience.

    I see most choices as short term v long term. Easy options bring short term immediate pleasure, other tougher actions bring longer term pleasure.

    A writer – who I cannot remember – said that man just wants change. He’ll work in the field ploughing but after a while when he is tired he will want to build a wall. Once he is tired building the wall he will look forward to ploughing the field….I wonder if you know who said this?

  38. Nomad77 February 27, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Excellent article! This is a concept that whole universe is based on waves. And as we know a wave goes up and down. Nature operates in a cyclical pattern – always.

  39. BlueTropic May 3, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    This is so wrong as a whole. There are plenty of options that are worse than others in everything. And uglier girls are often bitchier than the more beautiful ones. Good try but bad reflexion. It’s not so simple

  40. Beatem November 9, 2015 at 3:07 am

    You have to constantly ‘hustling’ to make things work. That’s why you can’t have everything in life because to be accomplished in one area you have to neglect the other. Only by being active can you achieve most things you set out to do.

  41. baphespear November 18, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    “To be, or not to be: that is the question:
    Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
    Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
    And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
    No more; and by a sleep to say we end
    The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
    Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
    To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
    For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
    When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
    Must give us pause: there’s the respect
    That makes calamity of so long life;
    For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
    The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
    The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
    The insolence of office and the spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
    To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
    But that the dread of something after death,
    The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
    No traveller returns, puzzles the will
    And makes us rather bear those ills we have
    Than fly to others that we know not of?
    Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
    And thus the native hue of resolution
    Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
    And enterprises of great pith and moment
    With this regard their currents turn awry,
    And lose the name of action.–Soft you now!
    The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
    Be all my sins remember’d!”

    ― William Shakespeare, Hamlet