Hello, I am an American girl who lives in Washington DC. Do you think you have what it takes to date me? I’ll go on a coffee date with a man who has all of the following:
I want you to be confident, but not so confident that you’re arrogant.
I want you to be witty and engaging in conversation, but not too witty that you make me feel dumb.
I want you to be intelligent, but not too intelligent that you’re a nerd.
I want you to be nice, but not too nice that you’re a pushover.
I want you to be fit and strong, but not so strong that you’re vain and look like a freak.
I want you to be funny, but not so funny that you’re a stand-up comedian.
I want you to be family oriented, but not so family oriented that you’re a momma’s boy.
I want you to take all my bullshit, but not the bullshit that is actually testing your masculinity.
I want you to compliment me, but not too much that I think you’re needy.
I want you to be aggressive in bed, but not so aggressive that I don’t feel any romance and tenderness.
I want you to be supportive when I have problems, but not so supportive that you’re like my dad.
I want you to take care of your appearance, but not so much that you look better than me.
I want you to have a successful job, but not so successful that you work long hours and neglect my needs.
I want you to be humble, but not so humble that other men come across as more accomplished than you.
I want you to be kind and send me flowers, but not too often or I’ll think you like me more than I like you.
I want you to be faithful, but not so faithful that I can’t at least suspect you could cheat with other women.
I want you to be serious, but not so serious that you’re not spontaneous and fun.
I want you to be a great conversationalist, but not so great that I have to wait long to tell you how I broke my nail.
Unless you fit every single one of above criteria, FUCK OFF. I don’t date LOSERS that are scared of a strong woman who speaks her mind. Also I know I have a big booty, but I don’t date black guys (I’m not racist because my BFF is black). I hope you don’t mind a full-figured woman who is at a healthy body weight.
Oh yeah, I have a 8-year-old daughter who I love WITH ALL MY HEART. You’re not going to get with this unless you can handle that. Don’t waste my time. Bye.
Haha, still hatin on DC Roosh??
So ridiculous how in pop culture *men* are regarded as the sex with inflated egos.
A man’s ego centers on things like how much he can bench and how much money he makes.
In matters of sex and dating? It’s the women who think they are the bee’s knees.
I once did a same-night make out with a girl back at her place, having met her a few hours earlier. Which *I* initiated. But I was dead to her after that night because I didn’t try to fuck her. Shame on me!
She is almost the same width as her car.
Alpha, I’m not sure which is heavier.
Is this real or made up ?
Run and don’t look back. Good grief American women just don’t get it.
I’m trying to filter good women from okcupid to my newly built website loveconnectu.com
Having moved abroad (Russia), I’ll be one of the first ones to say that American chicks are raving bitches.
But even I can’t believe that this dating profile is real. It must be satire.
Talk about lifestyle choice:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/deep-thoughts-with-the-homeless-billionaire.html?page=all
I just threw up.
@greenlander
You know what the punchline is: Russian girls who visit the US say that American chicks are raving bitches.
I was stunned when a Russian girl in DC said this to me.
LOL, wait are you sure you don’t date black guys? I know a dude that goes by Nigel that would beat it up like a champ
http://nigelsbiggameblog.wordpress.com/
Heinous.
Wow, look at how far down American men have gone.
In Asia, this bitch would be ridiculed and ignored by men. She’d be hurriedly exercising and starving herself so that she can function in society. A girl like her would not survive a day against thin, feminine, lovely, agreeable Asian women.
As Roosh has said before in a previous article:
It’s your fault (American man)
I loved how there was just enough length in the profile that it pushed that photo “below the fold” and you read most of that profile until you saw that photo, maximizing the sheer ridiculousness of the demands in the profile. Very good job Roosh. That was great.
I agree with the comment about her being as wide as her car and it reminded me of a joke.
Man: Hey buddy, You ran over my wife. Didn’t you see her?
Driver: I hit her, didn’t I?
Man: Why didn’t go around her?
Driver: I didn’t have enough gas.
ah ah, I could not agree more, Roosh. These girls are so full of shit (and full of fat )
The most ridiculous women are always the ones who overrate themselves. Even a slight overrating, it looks so ridiculous.
But incredibly, I have seen ugly fat women who acted like they were hot. Ah ah, I love the entertainment.
It’s a shame…
This was satire. The picture was not.
haha Why are you even back in DC?
I am in Italy at the moment and there is so much talent here it is sickening (note that it does come with lack of english, standoffish – hard to get attitude, and lots of italian grease monkeys http://aroundtheworldin80jobs.com/summertime-in-the-greek-isles-sublime-beauty-meets-europes-biggest-meat-market/ that you are competing with) but nonetheless…skinny with huge tits it glorious.
Turner
I just feel sorry for the car. The suspension will be gone in no time.
I’ve never been in DC, but I’m afraid that it’ll be like that pretty soon in my homecountry Germany (if it isn’t already). Well done and sad,too.
These sort of fat slops are black guys bread and butter. No wonder people call you a liar.
JOKES!!!
@As If
lol, what in the world is it with black guys and fat chicks? Their brains are just wired to want fat chicks. I don’t even get it!
…and this one is requesting her man to be strong and fit….!
An All You Can Eat Buffets worst nightmare is when that walks in the door.
When she eats you can probably hear her getting fat.
Her morning shits must be glorious logs
That is one of the girls who said that ” you can’t get laid in the u.s. “
“Oh yeah, I have a 8-year-old daughter who I love WITH ALL MY HEART”, so I’m only available for sexy time every other weekend when she’s with the sperm donor.
TFIFY
I wonder how she fits in the car. She’s bigger than the damn car! I bet her stomach and titties get smushed by the steering wheel. Also, who was the drunk asshole who took one for the team and put a baby inside her? I know you don’t miss this bullshit Roosh.
I say this as a former American Soldier and Iraq War and Afghanistan War veteran. American men mock women by saying, “I want (deep) fried ice.” Iraqi men mock women by saying, “I want roasted ice.” Afghan men laugh when you make the two previous comments. Afghan men laugh even more when you say, “Oh, daughter of Eve, has the snake(Satan) tricked you again?” Most Iraqi women only start to become fat after they get married, become pregnant and get older. Young American single women are fatter on average because of eating more deep fried foods and not exercising enough.
Women with kids thinking they deserve a man who has all those qualities. Stupid.
@greenlander
I’ll go ahead and say it – black guys go for fat white chicks because they dig *white* chicks. Sure, they have a higher tolerance for thickness, but no race of men prefers fat women. The same is true for other minorities who date white women. The flip side is that some fat white women like black guys because they can get higher quality men than they would if they only dated their own race. You can see a similar phenomenon among some cougars.
The text may be satire, but rest assured this is exactly what is running through the minds of today’s self entitled American pig vomit female.
The problem is in America is there are legions of severly loved starved desperate men who are willing to do anything just to have any woman in his life, that the sack of shit as shown in the photo still will have no problems finding a man with no dignity or self respect.
Its examples such as this I am so happy I fled wasteland USA.
There are some women in the world who are attractive and pleasurable to look at. This is not one of them.
Oh man, Roosh you need to read this:
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/qualities-of-the-prince/
Someone put this on Jezebel and other sites like it as well as mainstream media sites. Outside of some celebrities, American women are among the least desireable in the world because 1) they are less wife and mother worthy, 2) they are mean, more illogical, more immature as well as more willfully stupid(don’t confuse naivete or ignorance with stupidity) and more insane, 3) they are sluttier, and 4) they are fatter and uglier than most 1st world nations such as South Korea, Japan, Italy etc. as well as 2nd tier nations such as Poland, Russia, China etc. even though they could be much better looking if they wanted to do so. Yet American women think they are great and the best in the world. No, American Honey, it is American men who are the best or at least were the best in the world and you think you are the best because you rode on the backs of the American men. The USA’s greatness is in serious trouble and will most likely decline. The only thing a sane man, a wise man and a knowledgeable man does with them is use them for sport sex. Some of them aren’t even worth this. Ladies, your worth is based on the quality and quantity of men who are willing to enter long term relationships especially marriage not those who want sport sex with you. When you consider my last sentence, American women are the least desireable in the world. American women usually get pushed aside by all the foreign men including their own American men as well as the native men in foreign countries for long term relationships including marriage because the men are pursuing the native women or other foreign women. Foreign men,even men of her own nationality, as well as the native men in a foreign country pursue the native women and most other foreign women over the American women for short term relationships, and this includes sport sex too. Men of any nationality may use American women for sex, but they only do so because it is more convenient, and they would rather pursue most other nationalities women. These are all averages of course, and individuals may vary from whatever nationality they belong. American women, what does that tell you?
roosh about Comment 18 –
well the picture – and the pictured – IS the real joke.
Whenever my previous post comes out of moderation, read this American women, accept it as true and weep. Then change yourselves. You could be better, but choose in mass not to do so. I know there are some exceptions and you are probably not one of them. Even if you are, you should want to improve yourself. So why don’t you do so?
I thought satire was supposed to make you laugh? This shit only served to piss me off. Can’t stand fat, uppity chicks, real or fake.
*Sings* LIMBO LIMBO LIMBO *Sings*
Great Post!
Roosh, I think those ballet flats are becoming the new flip-flops. The only girls I see wearing them look like they felt too lazy to put real shoes on.
I feel bad for that single mom heifer’s daughter. She’ll turn out just as bad as she is.
Greenlander, are to mad that your fat wife ran off with a black guy? Or are you just trolling….
Dammit dude, you stole Friday’s post idea. Great work though, that’s so true. Every CL personal ever reads exactly like that. Love the pic at the end. That’s a hyyyoooooooogeeee bitch! Where’s my boy Nigel? We got a big fat ass that needs some big lovin’.
Oh yeah, and she’s not too fat – the car is too thin. I think it’s anorexic or something.
Great post. Particularly: “I want you to take all my bullshit, but not the bullshit that is actually testing your masculinity.”
Oh and regards to your tweet, “Huge cow reporter cries on TV because a guy called her fat http://t.co/ghJW10M1 (via @callador),” you’ve inspired me to post a response to Ms. Livingston’s rant:
http://colonelcrimson.wordpress.com/2012/10/03/that-mans-words-mean-nothing-to-me/
No place like home eh Roosh
would savagely ravage that fine pussy
@ BBC
Go back to your BBWs
I know this piece is satirical in nature but there’s a depressing degree of truth within it.
I wanna eat that bitch’s pussy
the sad thing is that once you’ve become that fat, you can’t just lose the weight. the stretch marks and skin flab will remaine unless there’s some extreme surgical intervention. in this woman’s case I wouldn’t even really recommend much dieting and exercise, but rather that she just settle for a weakling pushover.
lol at making fun of pua’s