An Afternoon With Stig Greybeard

Daniel was nervous. As carefully as he planned out the proposal to his girlfriend, what if something went wrong? What if the Kiss Cam didn’t pan at the end of the fourth inning as designed? What if other spectators interrupted him as he confessed his love and popped the question? But most importantly, what if she said no? Regardless of how strong a relationship is, a man always has doubts on how his girlfriend will answer when the engagement ring is revealed. By staging something elaborate in front of thousands of people, Daniel hoped it would tough for Andrea to deny him. The momentum of this special proposal would hopefully push her to saying yes.

When the big day arrived, Daniel took the subway to the stop nearest Andrea’s home. A beautiful diamond ring costing $7,000 was safely stored in his jacket pocket. Just when he was a block away from her row house, a flash of light momentarily blinded him. Upon regaining his vision, he looked around to see green fields dotted with old barns and homes. Stunned, he settled his eyes upon a small cottage. A tall man emerged from it and walked up to Daniel.

“Hej, Daniel. My name is Stig Greybeard, and I’ve been sent to help you. You are not dreaming and this is not a conjurer’s trick, for you are right now standing on real soil.”

“Are you a god?” Daniel asked. He couldn’t help but notice Stig’s beard. Long and braided, it nearly reached the man’s chest.

“I am not, but the powers I have may seem godly to you. The flash of light was a teleportation to the past. Right now the year is 1946 and we are in the American province of Kansas. The cottage you see in front of you is where your father’s father and mother lived. Follow me.”

Daniel followed Greybeard into the cottage. The living room was small and furnished with a velvet chair, small couch, and square coffee table that came up only one foot above the wooden floor. There was a radio but no television set. Greybeard moved into the kitchen and motioned for Daniel to follow. Inside was his grandmother, a petite woman with stout arms. Daniel’s instinct was to hide, but Greybeard told him not to worry since they couldn’t be seen or heard.

“She’s preparing dinner for your grandfather. You’re watching her knead dough. Soon she will peel and prepare the vegetables for the meatloaf, your grandfather’s favorite dish. It will take her three hours from start to finish.”

“Poor woman,” Daniel muttered. She was humming a song that Daniel didn’t know, occasionally taking breaks when her hands became tired to look out the small kitchen window. She wanted to make sure that Daniel’s father and three dogs were not straying too far from the cottage.

“So she just stays home to cook all day?” Daniel asked.

“She takes care of the home, your father, your grandfather, and the dogs. It’s not easy work, but she takes pride in it and pays no heed to the women in town who say she needs to make money as a factory hand or secretary. Behold, your grandfather is coming home now.”

A burly man with light purple shadows underneath his eyes walked inside and put his steel toolbox on the floor next to the door. He entered the kitchen to greet his wife with a short kiss.

“How was work today?” she asked, wiping the counter of flour.

“Hard. But they let us out early.”

He went to change his clothes and then sat on his chair. A cold bottle of his favorite beer was waiting for him. Beside it was the day’s newspaper, his pipe, and a tin of tobacco. He sat for some time, uninterrupted, as the house filled with the aroma of his wife’s cooking.

Another flash of light blinded Daniel. He was now in a modern office building with endless rows of quiet cubicles. Daniel instinctively followed Greybeard until he stopped at one cubicle in particular.

“It’s Andrea!” Daniel exclaimed. She was taking a break from her duties and catching up on Facebook correspondence. Daniel always trusted her, completely respecting her privacy, but curiosity overcame him and he leaned over her shoulder to see what was on the screen. He was surprised to see her finalizing plans for lunch with an ex-boyfriend, one that he thought she was out of touch with.

Daniel shot a concerned look to Greybeard, who could only shrug. “The events that transpire are not my doing,” he said.

“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this.”

“Perhaps,” Greybeard responded.

They sat watching Andrea for a while when she received a call. She picked up the phone and put it to her ear, briefly flashing a small “faith” tattoo below her palm. The “Hey girl” greeting suggested it was from one of her close friends. Daniel zoned out, as men often do when faced with female pratter, but snapped back to attention when he heard his name.

“Daniel is a nice guy, but sometimes he’s just so boring. He takes me to a restaurant then expects sex, even if I’m not in the mood, and it’s getting old. There’s no excitement anymore, but I feel guilty for thinking this. It’s just that… I don’t know. I want adventure, I want my heart to beat hard. If only I was young again and could control the wild ones with what I know now.”

Daniel couldn’t bear to hear more. He walked out of the cubicle and into the hallway. When he came back a while later, it appeared to Greybeard that he had been sobbing. “This is a lie! This isn’t real! Why are you doing this to me?” he demanded.

“You have been chosen to see the truth,” Greybeard calmly responded, stroking his braided beard as if it was a cat’s tail.

“But this isn’t the truth. Andrea doesn’t think I’m… boring.”

Another flash of light. Daniel was now in a tiny room. He noticed a vague sour odor. In one corner was a narrow bed while in another was an overweight middle-aged man, sitting at a desk in front of a computer screen.

“Where are we?” Daniel asked. Greybeard lifted his arm towards the man sitting in the chair. Daniel walked closer and noticed the man’s right hand vibrating in his lap. “Christ,” Daniel said, as he realized the man was masturbating into a tube sock. Besides the monitor, which was alive with tentacle rape porn, Daniel caught sight of a pay stub. He squinted his eyes and saw his name. Scanning it further, he noticed the payable amount to be impossibly low, less than what he was currently making.

“Now I know this is not the truth,” he said to Greybeard, smiling, relieved that this was all a nightmare, not at all based on reality.

“I only deal in truth,” Greybeard responded, stroking his braid faster than before with both of his hands.

Daniel then reached for the stub to examine it more closely. He saw a box marked FAMILY GARNISHMENT that totaled about 80% of the GROSS COMPENSATION box. The smile disappeared from Daniel’s face.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Greybeard said.

They walked past broken-down vehicles with missing wheels and packs of teenagers looking for trouble. Not until an hour later did they shapeshift through the iron gate of a lovely planned community. The streets were well-lighted and quiet. Two families were taking an evening stroll.

Daniel and Greybeard walked into a large house to find two young children, one boy and one girl, watching television with an open pizza box resting behind them. Upstairs was a woman sitting in front of her laptop. It was Andrea, older and bigger, though not as big as the masturbating man. She was on an internet dating site, filtering through 4,216 messages she received in the past day. If Daniel inspected the room, he would have seen a value sized box of magnum condoms in the nightstand drawer along with a bottle of lubricant specifically designed for anal sex.

Greybeard escorted Daniel, now trembling, outside the house. “What you have seen is truth. Not many men will have this opportunity, but it has been declared by those more powerful than me that you are worth saving. It is up to you to decide what to do with what I’ve shown you today. It makes no difference to me.” Greybeard twirled his braid with his finger while Daniel stared at the ground.

Another flash at light, the brightest of them yet. Daniel found himself back on the city street near Andrea’s row house. He sat on a bench to think about what just happened. Was it a dream? No, it was real, but surely the future wasn’t written in stone. He found it hard to believe that he would end up the way that Greybeard showed him, but the more he let his mind churn through the events, the more he could understand how such a fate could befall him.

Daniel met with Andrea and they went to the baseball game. On the way over, he suggested that they visit the natural history museum that weekend for a special exhibit on herbivorous dinosaurs. “Can we do something that’s not so… flat?” Andrea asked.

“So what do you want to do?” Daniel instinctively replied.

“I don’t know,” she said, looking annoyed.

Just as planned with the stadium’s public affairs office, the Kiss Cam panned to them after the fourth inning. Daniel saw himself on the jumbotron and grabbed Andrea’s hand. Images of Greybeard popped into his head, of his grandmother kneading dough, of Andrea gossiping with her friend on the phone, of him beating off into an athletic sock. He shook his head violently side to side and then reached into his jacket pocket.

“Andrea… you are the best thing to ever happen to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

When Andrea gave her answer, after an awkward six second pause, the crowd roared with applause and cheers.

Previous Story: Two Fathers

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Tampa
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Tampa
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I’m mid 30’s still single. Making over 150k and can’t pull the trigger on marriage because of this very story. I want kids though so I don’t know what to do. But this story is very pure Americana. So sad….and yet so true. Que the haters who say it aint so.

Days of Broken Arrows
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Days of Broken Arrows
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Great story! Would have been even better had it read it at 25, but better late than never.

Stochasticfats
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Stochasticfats
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You forgot the last sentence. “Daniel looked at the Kisscam and said “top that motherfuckers””

MattC
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MattC
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Very good piece, mate.

Gavin Madden
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The definition of my hell. Good read.

Michael Long
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Michael Long
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Beta men prefer to ignore the triuth.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Weak people need lies.

InSearchOfName
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InSearchOfName
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I am from Southern Europe and I’ve lived in the US for 4 years.

I never understood all this “proposal” thing, where you are expected to do all the kneeling down, offering a ring, preparing a fantastic date… It’s so humiliating.

Why does everybody in the US accept this as normal??? It’s complete lunacy.

(Where I’m from, women are as horrible as in the US. You become a slave the moment you get married. But at least no one expects you to humiliate yourself in order to become a slave).

Buh
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Buh
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MUY MUY bueno.

Tampa
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Tampa
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Love the part about her scheduling a lunch date via facebook with her ex boyfriend. Hilariously true.

Francesco
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Francesco
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Great story, too bad for the sour end…
(or was just the most realistic one?).

Apart from that, why there is an Arthur written after “GROSS COMPENSATION box”. Should not be Daniel?

[Roosh: oops, fixed.]

DJ
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DJ
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Brilliant piece one of your best yet Roosh. Confirms that I made the right decision not to get married in Femerica!

Solomon
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Solomon
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good work sir.

This story is told over and over again in real life… yet still the young men line up to get fitted for a tux..

you could really take it up a notch and throw in how mom’s new boyfriend is seen hitting the children or berating them cruelly.

Also, let’s not forget all of mom’s new meds.

To suggest that a man might be immune from this fate whilst traveling this road is akin to a meth user choosing to do meth all the time yet somehow suggest that they won’t get hooked.

“It won’t happen to ME” he would say

the height of vanity and foolishness.

I'm
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Wow

I’m humbled by the incisive clear descriptive writing.

The system is so rigged against men today and that pe of crap called Facebook will continue to destroy homes for no good reason other than egotistical people who’s word is worthless.

TheShido
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TheShido
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Great read. Ending stings like a motherfucker, as always.

AxelayBR
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AxelayBR
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The problem is not marriage per se. It’s not knowing how to play the long relationship game.

Evan
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Evan
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Amazing story, of course it doesn’t beat out Patricia’s Smartphone but this was a great read.

Just one part that is factually untrue:
If Daniel is a normal man, he is probably right-handed. Thus if he has been constantly beating off to internet porn for years after his divorce, he would probably have already trained himself to use his left hand, as the right hand is to remain on the mouse.

Ironthumb
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Ironthumb
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very good observation….I haven’t thought of that….

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Cynical yet beautifully sentimental.

A woman’s version would read: she gave the best years of her life then he left her with the kids for a younger woman.

Most of us want the same thing: to be loved for who we are. Unfortunately it works out for some and not others. I don’t think we should give up trying.

RedPillMofo
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> she gave the best years of her life then he left her with the kids for a younger woman
She should have picked a better man, not an alpha fucks bad boy.
Just like this guy should have picked a feminine woman willing to be a great mother and loyal wife, not a used up career whore.

bloody knuckles
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bloody knuckles
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solid drop

“…he suggested that they visit the natural history museum that weekend for a special exhibit on herbivorous dinosaurs.”

gotdamn, you twisted the knife w/ that line

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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you act like this is the womans fault? If the guy is a boring pussy then he has himself to blame not the woman. I mean come on – the guy is pathetic in this story and I would almost encourage her to do everything behind his back lol

Ironthumb
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Ironthumb
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guy’s a boring pussy
+
girl promiscous
=
match made in heaven!!

Remington
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Remington
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Got goosebumps after reading the herbivorous dinosaur exhibit piece. *Cringe*

Andy
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Andy
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As much as I would love to blame society for this, the outcome is entirely the fault of Daniel. He followed the script without ever thinking about the consequences of his actions or what was best for him. Working to achieve these so called milestones in life (wife, kids, mortgage, car payments) without understanding the why or if it’s for you will lead to disappointment. That boy was given the red pill, but decided to stay in the matrix. Great writing Roosh.

A Random Man
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A Random Man
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Sad story. Marriage is a huge risk today and most men gladly take that risk without measuring the consequences. Free will is a funny thing in this story, poor bastard saw his future and still proposed.

Bachelor for Life fellas…

nguyenimproved
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This is the origin of Mark Minter..

Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta
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Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta
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“special exhibit on herbivorous dinosaurs”

Nice touch.

Herbs… They go extinct don’t they?

Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta
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Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta
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I love a good tragedy!

Ollie
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Ollie
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@InSearchOfName:
“Why does everybody in the US accept this as normal??? It’s complete lunacy.”

Read this now:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

Marketing is forever.

Ollie
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Ollie
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It’s sock time for Danny!

gojira
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gojira
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excellent as always, yr writing skillz are turning mad

Vomit Sex
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Vomit Sex
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This piece reminds me of a famous short story — i think the title is “The Lady Or The Tiger” by Stockton, where the reader never knows what was the final outcome of the story. Well done Roosh

I'm
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I'm
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Roosh-
I’ve never heard you talk a out your mother? What’s she like? How has she influenced you.

My Mom wis a rabid feminist who parasites off of my Dads millions and got an inheritance and left the family for a construction management red neck lying two faced scum bag on Facebook. I think her feminazi agitprop and interpersonal fraud has made somewhat cynical.

I'm
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I thought it was cool some of you foreign guys how you say in your Nation you don’t do all that self deprecating Victorian horse crap to propose to a soma .

All they really need is a pitcher off beer a pizza and a good banging to say- I love you.

And the diamond industry- nothing like a lump of worthless carbon mined from aces with armed guards by slave labor for sarcastic suburban flip flop wearing ego maniac Jersey Shore watching cunts to say I live you as you sell out 50x s its inherent value to Jew corporate monsters who have 80 more cookie cutter crap box stores just like it at every towns center and mall across Ameristein to say Iove you. Ill go vomit now.

TD
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TD
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Guess someone started to read the Sagas of the Icelanders.

[Roosh: Not yet, but I will.]

Inside UoM
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Inside UoM
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Mark Minter, Stand up!

ManosphereRadio
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Great piece. Your non-fiction writing is definitely coming up.

Even when you give a guy all the warnings about how a girl is wrong for him he still decides to go ahead with it. Fools errand.

John Doe
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John Doe
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Any man stupid enough to marry an American woman should be shot.

Ed Cefala
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Ed Cefala
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I came all over my iPad while reading this you sexy dog, you.

DeNihilist
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DeNihilist
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Don’t give up your day job. Your writing of your factual life is way ahead of your fiction.

seth
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seth
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Women were always a liability and modern women don’t even try to pretend to be the things that men want. They’re not innocent and most don’t deserve the ring on the finger. Now that this illusion of feminine grace and charm (for the majority of women) has been dispelled, you just have to find the few worthwhile ones. The rest you should treat like the pieces of sh1t that they are. Its not misogyny; some women are alright. But their actions have consequences.

Twenty
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Twenty
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Zombie Charles Dickens called, and said he’s going to sue you into the next time zone.

Rez
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Rez
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Well written and terrifying.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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“You forgot the last sentence. “Daniel looked at the Kisscam and said “top that motherfuckers”””

lol

Be.Mccoy
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Be.Mccoy
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This made me laugh on a bus full of people rofl

Brissbrass
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Brissbrass
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This story reminds me of the book “the average American male” absolutely great read, both this story and the book.

Mark
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Mark
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I’m going to see if I can get my girlfriend to read this.

Rod Longeidth
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Rod Longeidth
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I just had an epiphany-
A lot of beta behavior comes from childhood memories/abuse.

Can’t any of you remember when you were a little snot noise kid and a female leader (parent teacher etc) told oh be nice to girls always ask a lady don’t touch a girl without permission girls are better than you girls are special blah ah blah ad nauseum

And all the sexual harassment drek about work place policy and in tv shows and movies.

See we need to return to the hunter gatherer me failing I’m coming to go out Hinton and gather your ass by your hair against the pad board as throw a spooge bomb up that twat.

Rod Longeidth
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Rod Longeidth
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Me falling should be mentality damn auto correct on i phone bitch

Tom Dane
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Tom Dane
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Haha a bit like “A Christmas Carol” except that he doesnt change himself.

Carlos
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Carlos
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Well done. This is what I tune in for.

I chuckled at this line, the fact you took the time to depart from the allegorical philippic to “set the scene”:

They walked past broken-down vehicles with missing wheels and packs of teenagers looking for trouble.

Will there be a part 2 ?

redpillmtl
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redpillmtl
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Eloquent, captivating and mesmerizing. Yet, ultimately very depressing.

Roosh, you should write a fiction, a sort of modern 1984 with male/female interaction at its crux. Your style is so immaculate and the way you capture the fatality and impending doom of the western man is truly artful. I would purchase that book in a heartbeat.

Sam Spade
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Sam Spade
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I threw up in my mouth a little bit at the end. Great story. As many commenters have noted, the problem is with the man who permits this to happen. Power abhors a vacuum, and a woman will fill the vacuum if the man will not.