In the spring of 2019, approximately two weeks after I started a daily prayer rule upon taking my first steps as a Christian, I took psychedelic mushrooms, something that I would not dare do today. Nonetheless, it happened, and I’d like to offer commentary on the out-of-body experience I had through the eyes of my growing Orthodox understanding.

Here’s a recounting of the event that happened while I was under the influence of the mushrooms:

I turned to lay on the right side of my body, almost in a fetal position, and closed my eyes once more. The geometric patterns were gone, my vision all black. My breathing became labored once again. My chest felt like it was being wrung out from the center. I tried to be careful with my breaths to make sure I received enough air.

The sound of my breaths was still loud, but now they were becoming spaced further and further apart. Don’t be afraid, I said to myself. Then the sound of the air entering my lungs went silent. I was no longer breathing. I could not perceive myself as breathing. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t. Then I tried to wave my hands in front of my face, but nothing happened. I was no longer in my body. Then whoosh—I felt a great movement at amazing speed as if I was transported somewhere else.

I was placed in a great void. My breath was gone, my body was gone. I couldn’t hear Albert [my friend] or any sounds of the forest. And yet I was not afraid or worried. There was no concern for what happened to my body or if I would ever possess it again. There was no lamentation that I could not continue experiencing the world as I have for my previous 39 years of existence. In this great void, with no sign of stars or other physical matter, or even the perception of space or time, I felt complete serenity and peace with myself.

Then a large dome with a gray outline came into view. The bottom of the dome was flat. In the center of the flat bottom was a white light. I stared at the light and a warm feeling overcame me. The word “home” entered my mind. That [could be] the home of my soul, where I came from and where I will go back to, where I will rest for all eternal. I desired to be with the light, to float towards it, but then my eyes opened.

I was back in the forest, curled up on the ground. I took a deep breath and stood up. I wanted to talk to Albert but I had no voice.

What happened to my body? What did I see? Father Seraphim Rose of blessed memory has offered the most likely answers to these questions in his important book The Soul After Death:

[A near-death experience] is not precisely an “after-death” experience; it is rather the “out-of-body” experience which is only the antechamber to other much more extensive experiences, whether of death itself or of what is sometimes called “astral travelling”… Although the “out-of-body” state might be called the “first moment” of death—if death actually follows—it is a gross mistake to conclude from it anything whatever about the “after-death” state, unless it be the bare facts of the survival and consciousness of the soul after death, which hardly anyone who actually believes in the soul’s immortality denies in any case.

[…]

The beings contacted in this realm are always (or almost always) demons, whether they are invoked by mediumism or other occult practices, or encountered in “out-of-body” experiences. They are not angels, for these dwell in heaven and only pass through this realm as messengers of God. They are not the souls of the dead, for they dwell in heaven or hell and only pass through this realm immediately after death on their way to judgment for their actions in this life. Even those most adept in “out-of-body” experiences cannot remain in this realm for long without danger of permanent separation from the body (death), and even in occult literature such adepts are rarely described as meeting each other.

From Father Seraphim’s teachings, my understanding of death and the toll houses as taught by the Church Fathers, and my own contemplation of the experience, I’d like to pose three inferences about what happened.

First, I believe that my soul did leave the body for a period of time and enter the aerial realm (the antechamber to heaven or hell). In Church teachings highlighted by Father Seraphim, this is the realm where angels come to take your soul upon bodily death in an attempted ascent to heaven, but if you have failed to please God in your life, your ascent will fail and demons will pull you down to hell. Father Seraphim explains:

The realm into which the soul immediately enters when it leaves the body and begins to lose contact with what we know as “material reality” (whether after death or in a simple “out-of-body” experience) is neither heaven nor hell, but an invisible realm close to earth which is variously called the “After-death” or “Bardo plane” (Tibetan Book of the Dead), the “world of spirits” (Swedenborg and spiritism), the “astral plane” (Theosophy and most of occultism), “Locale II” (Monroe)—or, in Orthodox language, the aerial world of the under-heaven where fallen spirits dwell and are active in deceiving men for their damnation. This is not the “other world” that awaits man after death, but only the invisible part of this world that man must pass through to reach the truly “other” world of heaven or hell. For those who have truly died, and are being conducted by angels out of earthly life, this is the realm where the Particular Judgment begins at the aerial “toll-houses,” where the spirits of the air reveal their real nature and their hostility towards mankind; for all others, it is a realm of demonic deception at the hands of these same spirits.

If my soul really did leave the body, and this experience is similar to actual physical death, the best analogy I can give to dying is trying to squeeze a marble through a thin straw. Initially, there was the feeling that I was losing gradual awareness and control over my body, including a cessation of sensory feedback, including pain, then a tightness and squeezing in the center of my body as I was being pushed through the “straw,” and then a feeling of traveling at rapid speed into another realm, like being blasted off into space. It’s disconcerting and strange but not painful or frightening. I never lost consciousness or awareness of what was happening, which we would expect because the soul is eternally awake, and the time it took to “die” (the progressive shutdown of my body), was short enough that there wasn’t an opportunity for fear, just confusion as to what was happening. It is possible that real death is a completely different experience, but from my reading of after-death experiences, it seems to be somewhat similar.

Second, once outside of the body, my soul enjoyed a feeling of joy and peacefulness since it was unencumbered by sins of the fallen flesh, which was especially true for me since at that time I was riddled with a lifetime of mortal sins that were not yet cleansed through the sacraments of the Church. Father Seraphim shares that once outside of the body, you will experience less of your fallen nature.

Our physical bodies in this fallen world are bodies of pain, corruption, and death. When separated from this body, the soul is immediately in a state more “natural” to it, closer to the state God intends for it; for the resurrected “spiritual body” in which man will dwell in the Kingdom of Heaven has more in common with the soul than with the body we know on earth.

Most out-of-body stories of near-death experiences are positive because they describe the soul freely floating in the aerial realm (before any type of judgment takes place). Unless we have lived the lives of saints, our fallen bodies are opposed to the desires of the soul, so coming out of that body feels like taking off tight clothes. Even if you’re on your way to hell, for the time before the demons come to take you, you will feel free and joyful at the shedding of your flesh. If you’ve lived a holy life in the body then being out of the body may not offer a stark increase in the joy you perceive, since your body was already subverted to your soul’s desire to be in communion with God.

Third, I believe the vision I had with a dome containing a white light was either a projection of my preexisting belief of the afterlife or a deception by the demons to trick me into believing pantheistic notions. According to Father Seraphim, afterlife experiences are usually deceptions.

…most, perhaps indeed all, of [near-death] experiences have little in common with the Christian vision of heaven. These visions are not spiritual, but worldly. They are so quick, so easily attained, so common, so earthly in their imagery, that there can be no serious comparison of them with the true Christian visions of heaven in the past… Even the most “spiritual” thing about some of them—the feeling of the “presence” of Christ—persuades one more of the spiritual immaturity of those who experience it than of anything else. Rather than producing the profound awe, fear of God, and repentance which the authentic experience of God’s presence has evoked in Christians saints (of which St. Paul’s experience on the road to Damascus may be taken as a model—Acts 9:3-9), the present-day experiences produce something much more akin to the “comfort” and “peace” of the modern spiritistic and Pentecostal movements.

[…]

…we must clearly distinguish between genuine, grace-given visions of the other world, and a merely natural experience which, even though it may be outside the normal limits of human experience, is not in the least spiritual and tells us nothing about the actual reality of either the heaven or the hell of authentic Christian teaching.

My initial interpretation was that it was a vision from God, because I so strongly craved God at that time, but I no longer believe this interpretation to be absolutely the case because of my then gross impurity and the vague nature of the vision. Visions given by God as described by Orthodox elders are usually quite descriptive and vivid, not vague and open to multiple interpretations as if it were a palm reading. For many years before this experience, I had been closely following Zen and Buddhist ideas of the afterlife that detailed the “collective unconscious” and going back to the “source,” so when I saw the dome, I thought it was the source of all creation, somewhat matching Eastern teachings, but I was so zealous for the real God at the time that I eventually interpreted the vision as being from a personal God. The most neutral possible interpretation is that the dome was something like space junk in the aerial realm.

When someone begins a life of repentance, they can be given a heavy dose of zeal and often grace. It was while in a state of zealousness that I took the drug and saw the vision, and so I believe that this state blocked me from interpreting it in a way that would steer me away from God. I say this because the psychedelic experience did not veer me off the path to getting baptized into the Orthodox Church two years later. I hesitate to say it helped me, but it did allow me to more quickly come to believe in a concrete spiritual reality, in which I had a weak belief at the time. Unfortunately for the vast majority of people, psychedelic experiences more often create mistaken notions of a spiritual reality and pull them away from God into beliefs closely aligned with deism, pantheism, or Buddhism, with the associated universalist belief that “everyone goes to heaven” or “everyone will be in peace after death.” If this deception is not corrected, a person’s soul is likely to be damned upon death.

From Father Seraphim:

It may be asked: What of the feelings of ‘peace’ and ‘pleasantness’ which seem to be almost universal in the ‘out-of-body’ state. What of the vision of ‘light’ which so many see? Are these only deceptions also?

In a sense, it may be, these experiences are ‘natural’ to the soul when separated from the body. Our physical bodies in this fallen world are bodies of pain, corruption, and death. When separated from this body, the soul is immediately in a state more ‘natural’ to it, closer to the state God intends for it; for the resurrected ‘spiritual body’ in which man will dwell in the Kingdom of Heaven has more in common with the soul than with the body we know on earth…. In this sense, the ‘peace’ and ‘pleasantness’ of the out-of-body experience may be considered real and not a deception. Deception enters in, however, the instant one begins to interpret these ‘natural’ feelings as something ‘spiritual’—as though this peace were the true peace of reconciliation with God, and the ‘pleasantness’ were the true spiritual pleasure of heaven. This is, in fact, how many people interpret their ‘out-of-body’ and ‘after-death’ experiences, because of their lack of true spiritual experience and awareness.”

I see my psychedelic experience as a form of chemically-induced pseudo-grace. I used a chemical and happened to luck out that I didn’t have more of a standard experience that would keep me turned away from the Lord God. I attribute this entirely to the fact that I was in a new state of bountiful and genuine zeal at the time and God was closely watching over his idiotic servant. Since then, I’ve had potent spiritual experiences within the Orthodox Church, without using any type of drug, so it was wholly unnecessary to get blasted off into the aerial realm by using a poison for what amounted to a fireworks show for a man who denied fireworks for much of his life. In fact, I have had spiritual experiences in the body where the joy I felt exceeded the joy felt while out of the body induced by my experience of chemical intoxication, negating any temptation to try a psychedelic drug again.

Baptism ROCOR Jordanville
Orthodox baptistry

In conclusion, I got lucky, and cannot claim that I saw God or the source of all creation. I did experience something I suspect is close to bodily death, but the vision that followed was likely a demonic attempt to put me back into agnostic or gnostic notions of reality. Thankfully, my hunger for God was so great that I was able to get on the normal path of developing spiritual life as prescribed by Lord Jesus Christ and the Church He created for us, and two years after the experience I was received into that Church. If I hadn’t typed out a record of what happened, I would hardly remember it, signifying how unimportant it was in my path to the Orthodox Church and developing faith in Lord Jesus Christ. Visions under chemical intoxication will not at all compare to what God can give you when He deems you ready.

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Visions given by God as described by Orthodox elders are usually quite descriptive and vivid, not vague and open to multiple interpretations as if it were a palm reading.

Yes, this is my experience as well. I post this more to bolster the true nature of revelation than to bolster myself: while visions given by God often tend to contain heavy use of symbolism, the symbols are typically used in specifically meaningful ways. The Bible describes many visions and other communications from God as such.

I have had a vision from God in the past, which concerned a very specific question I had for God which I had prayed with the aid of other Christians. I prayed about this question and immediately, that same night, I had a dream of a nature that I have never had before and have never had since. The question was about God's direction for my life, and I had asked Him about a certain route I was undertaking in life, whether it was the right route or not.

That night, I dreamed I was in what appeared like a small, ancient Near Eastern village, much like how we would have imagined a place like Nazarene to look like. The village seemed to run along a single dirt road that passed through it, and the road was bustling with people going on about their business wearing clothing much like what we've seen in paintings of that era. After a while, loud voices rang out: "He's Here!" and "It's Him!" People suddenly started lining up along the sides of the road, and a very oddly familiar Man appeared walking down the road toward where I was. People kneeled and showed deference to Him as He walked past them. I kneeled and bowed my head as well, and He placed a hand on my shoulder, and said: "You have done correctly." He then walked off past me, and the dream ended.

And now that I can look back on the life choice I made, I can say that in hindsight, it definitely put me closer to where God wants me. It has been a very spiritually maturing road for me. The dream has also helped me weather some very difficult times and given me a degree of conviction to see it through even when doubt became heavy.

Reading your post brought that dream back to mind because of how extraordinarily specific and straightforward it was, compared to my normal dreams. There was no doubt about what the dream meant and that it was a specific answer to a very specific question. And as these Orthodox elders you refer to in the quotation above describing visions as descriptive and vivid, I am also struck by how much the dream has stuck in my memory and how much detail I was able to recall even many years later. That is very unusual for my dreams as well.

Our God really is an author of order, not of confusion.

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Originally posted on RooshV.com


In the spring of 2019, approximately two weeks after I started a daily prayer rule upon taking my first steps as a Christian, I took psychedelic mushrooms, something that I would not dare do today. Nonetheless, it happened, and I’d like to offer commentary on the out-of-body experience I had through the eyes of my growing Orthodox understanding.

Here’s a recounting of the event that happened while I was under the influence of the mushrooms:

What happened to my body? What did I see? Father Seraphim Rose of blessed memory has offered the most likely answers to these questions in his important book The Soul After Death:

From Father Seraphim’s teachings, my understanding of death and the toll houses as taught by the Church Fathers, and my own contemplation of the experience, I’d like to pose three inferences about what happened.

First, I believe that my soul did leave the body for a period of time and enter the aerial realm (the antechamber to heaven or hell). In Church teachings highlighted by Father Seraphim, this is the realm where angels come to take your soul upon bodily death in an attempted ascent to heaven, but if you have failed to please God in your life, your ascent will fail and demons will pull you down to hell. Father Seraphim explains:

If my soul really did leave the body, and this experience is similar to actual physical death, the best analogy I can give to dying is trying to squeeze a marble through a thin straw. Initially, there was the feeling that I was losing gradual awareness and control over my body, including a cessation of sensory feedback, including pain, then a tightness and squeezing in the center of my body as I was being pushed through the “straw,” and then a feeling of traveling at rapid speed into another realm, like being blasted off into space. It’s disconcerting and strange but not painful or frightening. I never lost consciousness or awareness of what was happening, which we would expect because the soul is eternally awake, and the time it took to “die” (the progressive shutdown of my body), was short enough that there wasn’t an opportunity for fear, just confusion as to what was happening. It is possible that real death is a completely different experience, but from my reading of after-death experiences, it seems to be somewhat similar.

Second, once outside of the body, my soul enjoyed a feeling of joy and peacefulness since it was unencumbered by sins of the fallen flesh, which was especially true for me since at that time I was riddled with a lifetime of mortal sins that were not yet cleansed through the sacraments of the Church. Father Seraphim shares that once outside of the body, you will experience less of your fallen nature.

Most out-of-body stories of near-death experiences are positive because they describe the soul freely floating in the aerial realm (before any type of judgment takes place). Unless we have lived the lives of saints, our fallen bodies are opposed to the desires of the soul, so coming out of that body feels like taking off tight clothes. Even if you’re on your way to hell, for the time before the demons come to take you, you will feel free and joyful at the shedding of your flesh. If you’ve lived a holy life in the body then being out of the body may not offer a stark increase in the joy you perceive, since your body was already subverted to your soul’s desire to be in communion with God.

Third, I believe the vision I had with a dome containing a white light was either a projection of my preexisting belief of the afterlife or a deception by the demons to trick me into believing pantheistic notions. According to Father Seraphim, afterlife experiences are usually deceptions.

My initial interpretation was that it was a vision from God, because I so strongly craved God at that time, but I no longer believe this interpretation to be absolutely the case because of my then gross impurity and the vague nature of the vision. Visions given by God as described by Orthodox elders are usually quite descriptive and vivid, not vague and open to multiple interpretations as if it were a palm reading. For many years before this experience, I had been closely following Zen and Buddhist ideas of the afterlife that detailed the “collective unconscious” and going back to the “source,” so when I saw the dome, I thought it was the source of all creation, somewhat matching Eastern teachings, but I was so zealous for the real God at the time that I eventually interpreted the vision as being from a personal God. The most neutral possible interpretation is that the dome was something like space junk in the aerial realm.

When someone begins a life of repentance, they can be given a heavy dose of zeal and often grace. It was while in a state of zealousness that I took the drug and saw the vision, and so I believe that this state blocked me from interpreting it in a way that would steer me away from God. I say this because the psychedelic experience did not veer me off the path to getting baptized into the Orthodox Church two years later. I hesitate to say it helped me, but it did allow me to more quickly come to believe in a concrete spiritual reality, in which I had a weak belief at the time. Unfortunately for the vast majority of people, psychedelic experiences more often create mistaken notions of a spiritual reality and pull them away from God into beliefs closely aligned with deism, pantheism, or Buddhism, with the associated universalist belief that “everyone goes to heaven” or “everyone will be in peace after death.” If this deception is not corrected, a person’s soul is likely to be damned upon death.

From Father Seraphim:

I see my psychedelic experience as a form of chemically-induced pseudo-grace. I used a chemical and happened to luck out that I didn’t have more of a standard experience that would keep me turned away from the Lord God. I attribute this entirely to the fact that I was in a new state of bountiful and genuine zeal at the time and God was closely watching over his idiotic servant. Since then, I’ve had potent spiritual experiences within the Orthodox Church, without using any type of drug, so it was wholly unnecessary to get blasted off into the aerial realm by using a poison for what amounted to a fireworks show for a man who denied fireworks for much of his life. In fact, I have had spiritual experiences in the body where the joy I felt exceeded the joy felt while out of the body induced by my experience of chemical intoxication, negating any temptation to try a psychedelic drug again.

Baptism ROCOR Jordanville
Orthodox baptistry

In conclusion, I got lucky, and cannot claim that I saw God or the source of all creation. I did experience something I suspect is close to bodily death, but the vision that followed was likely a demonic attempt to put me back into agnostic or gnostic notions of reality. Thankfully, my hunger for God was so great that I was able to get on the normal path of developing spiritual life as prescribed by Lord Jesus Christ and the Church He created for us, and two years after the experience I was received into that Church. If I hadn’t typed out a record of what happened, I would hardly remember it, signifying how unimportant it was in my path to the Orthodox Church and developing faith in Lord Jesus Christ. Visions under chemical intoxication will not at all compare to what God can give you when He deems you ready.

Read Next: The Law Of God
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I've always seen psychedelic entheogens such as psilocybin mushrooms as a positive gift from nature. They allow you to experience the spiritual aspect of reality and they also have been proven to have great medicinal benefits such as cured depression and PTSD in ex soldiers.

Every time I take them I have deep philosophical insights about the nature of reality and about society etc. They've also acted as a negativity detox for me. I feel like the negativity is drained from me and I feel great for months following. I usually only feel the need to take them once a year or once every 6 months.

For some reason as well when I've taken them I've seen Shiva from Hinduism and he spoke to me, giving me advice about my personal life and relationships etc. I never had any prior interest in Hinduism, nor had I looked into it before taking mushrooms.

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I've always seen psychedelic entheogens such as psilocybin mushrooms as a positive gift from nature. They allow you to experience the spiritual aspect of reality and they also have been proven to have great medicinal benefits such as cured depression and PTSD in ex soldiers.

Every time I take them I have deep philosophical insights about the nature of reality and about society etc. They've also acted as a negativity detox for me. I feel like the negativity is drained from me and I feel great for months following. I usually only feel the need to take them once a year or once every 6 months.

For some reason as well when I've taken them I've seen Shiva from Hinduism and he spoke to me, giving me advice about my personal life and relationships etc. I never had any prior interest in Hinduism, nor had I looked into it before taking mushrooms.

Tell us more about this path to Christ you are on.

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For some reason as well when I've taken them I've seen Shiva from Hinduism and he spoke to me, giving me advice about my personal life and relationships etc. I never had any prior interest in Hinduism, nor had I looked into it before taking mushrooms.

You spoke to a demon.

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You spoke to a demon.

Possibly. Although whatever I saw, whether it be a demon or the actual god Shiva, I received a lot of practical advice about my life circumstances which helped me a lot at the time

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Tell us more about this path to Christ you are on.

I didn't take them for any reason other than their effect with depression as I was really suffering with depression at the time and read about the benefits psilocybin has with depression and ptsd. Not entirely sure what you meant by your comment. Are you insinuating psilocybin mushrooms are evil?

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I didn't take them for any reason other than their effect with depression as I was really suffering with depression at the time and read about the benefits psilocybin has with depression and ptsd. Not entirely sure what you meant by your comment. Are you insinuating psilocybin mushrooms are evil?

Why didn't you receive the advice to turn to follow Christ? That would have been good advice.

You were fooled.

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Why didn't you receive the advice to turn to follow Christ? That would have been good advice.

You were fooled.

The advice I received was about personal circumstances in my life. The advice to follow christ would have been superfluous in this particular regard. I needed a practical solution and the advice I received was very helpful. So i wasn't fooled. The advice helped me overcome an issue that had been tormenting me for a long time.

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I see my psychedelic experience as a form of chemically-induced pseudo-grace.

This sums it up well. I'm glad I never went too deep into psychedelics, some people don't make it out alive. As you mention, many times they are swayed by pantheism or perennialism or something of the sort, if not becoming completely mad, mostly tearing them away from God and laying them into the hands of many demons.

At the beginning of my steady conversion late last year, Orthodox perspectives on the afterlife had a profound impact on me, descriptions of the souls journey after it was separated from the body. It was this story that affected me the most, which I reread a number of times:

Unbelievable For Many, But Actually a True Occurrence (linked)

The words: "Not Ready!" will always stay with me, after reading this account. Frightening and awe-inspiring.

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Possibly. Although whatever I saw, whether it be a demon or the actual god Shiva, I received a lot of practical advice about my life circumstances which helped me a lot at the time

You have to be very careful with your interpretations here.

What you believe to be practical advice that seems aimed to you is mostly deception to reel you in.

Think about it, if a demon were to deceive you, would they come out and scream I'm a demon? Or would they disguise themselves as some type of spirit guide to gain your trust?

Your trust would increase because they will bring about events that you attribute to their advice, and the circle continues.

I've read countless stories of people who either took these drugs or did some other type of occult practice and they end in one of two ways. They either repent and turn to God, or things don't end so well for them.

We all have free will, so there is no way any of us can force you to stop, but I ask that you read about the many instances where these entities turn hostile.

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The advice I received was about personal circumstances in my life. The advice to follow christ would have been superfluous in this particular regard. I needed a practical solution and the advice I received was very helpful. So i wasn't fooled. The advice helped me overcome an issue that had been tormenting me for a long time

Im glad you received some help for your situation at the time but whatever problem you were having is temporary, when we die and are in the next life our temporary earthly problems will seem small and petty compared to eternity, some of the tricks demons use is salvation without Christ so they will give you "salvation" and help for some things you asking but will not lead you to repentance of your sins or to God just my opinion, I have a question, before you had the mushrooms what was your religion did you believe in a God or some kind?

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Possibly. Although whatever I saw, whether it be a demon or the actual god Shiva, I received a lot of practical advice about my life circumstances which helped me a lot at the time

Shiva is a destroyer demon. You're not going to go on an Orthodox Christian board and convince members that you had an uplifting experience communing with a dangerous demon. Please repent and/or stop trolling the board.

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The fact is you were already in the process of becoming a Christian and you already had a zeal for God BEFORE the mushrooms, what about the people who are lost or confused or depressed and just take it for fun or relief in an unguarded state I can imagine it can mess with them and lead them in the wrong direction, we must keep in mind Jim Jones also had out of body experiences and look where that led him

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Shiva is a destroyer demon. You're not going to go on an Orthodox Christian board and convince members that you had an uplifting experience communing with a dangerous demon. Please repent and/or stop trolling the board.

I am not trolling the forum. I just shared how psilocybin helped me personally. I also mentioned how psilocybin helps with depression and PTSD. How is that trolling? Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that I am wrong to share this in a thread made about psychedelics. So is anyone who disagrees with you automatically a troll?

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I am not trolling the forum. I just shared how psilocybin helped me personally. I also mentioned how psilocybin helps with depression and PTSD. How is that trolling? Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that I am wrong to share this in a thread made about psychedelics. So is anyone who disagrees with you automatically a troll?

It's not the info about psilocybin & depression/ptsd (which I know personally works; no need for large doses enough to communicate with demons), it's the fact you communicated with a demon and it gave you advice that you followed.

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Im glad you received some help for your situation at the time but whatever problem you were having is temporary, when we die and are in the next life our temporary earthly problems will seem small and petty compared to eternity, some of the tricks demons use is salvation without Christ so they will give you "salvation" and help for some things you asking but will not lead you to repentance of your sins or to God just my opinion, I have a question, before you had the mushrooms what was your religion did you believe in a God or some kind?

I was Christian for a few years. Then I lost my faith and then I became Deist. I researched psilocybin because I was suffering with bad depression for several years to the point where it was making me dysfunctional.

I didn't want to become a life long customer of Big Pharma. So I researched a more permanent solution (other than suicide) and I read lots of information on psilocybin mushrooms which had cured some people's depression and helped PTSD.

I was always kind of spiritual and a spiritual experience on psilocybin only solidified that belief with out of body experiences and deep philosophical reflections.

I don't know why everyone perceives Shiva as a demon. He didn't offer any kind of salvation, he didn't even try to influence my spiritual beliefs at all. I had an issue regarding my child which was affecting my mental health in a negative way and Shiva gave me advice on how to deal with these feelings and that was it. It sounds trivial, but to me it was a big deal and it helped a lot. It helped me become stronger and become a better father.

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As a non-Christian, it is probably best to stay on the fungi topic, then. Other ideas will not be as well received; you are a guest here with the ability to read, and not post but especially not on "getting good advice" from Shiva. I did try to offer you similar advice via PM when you joined.

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I was Christian for a few years

Can you describe what denomination you were in, what you believed, and what happened to cause you turn away from that?

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As a non-Christian, it is probably best to stay on the fungi topic, then. Other ideas will not be as well received; you are a guest here with the ability to read, and not post but especially not on "getting good advice" from Shiva. I did try to offer you this advice when you joined via PM.

Ah well, I was just sharing something that happened to me. If what I've said has offended anyone that wasn't my intention. I won't post anything further in this particular thread.

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