Anger Is An Aphrodisiac To Women

A lot of things that used to get me upset or angry in the past rarely does now, whether it’s bad traffic, getting sick, facing unexpected expenses, scabies, or the like. Life experience has taught me that any unpleasantness will pass shortly with only a small chance of permanent harm.

But not with everything. In fact my temper has gotten much worse in one area: with women I’ve had sex with. I blow my top and lose my cool at the smallest slight, calling them out without hesitation and making them cry with no remorse. It’s getting to the point where I leave almost every girl I date in a heap of tears. What’s going on?

For example, in Brazil I was dating a girl who I made tentative plans with to hang out on a weekend night. I texted her at around 5pm to set a time, but I didn’t get a response until three hours later. She said she was sleeping and asked what time we were going out. I wrote back, “I made other plans, I’m not going to wait for you all night.” She called me immediately after, and asked what was wrong.

“Nothing is wrong but you’re playing games, and I don’t have time for that. I made plans with [Danish roommate].” I accused her of lying, that she wasn’t really sleeping. She started crying and said how she put aside other plans to see me. She kept repeating, “Why are you doing this to me?” At that point I thought maybe she really was sleeping, backed down, and told her I’d contact her later.

At 1am, after a few drinks with the Dane, I sent her a text and we met up at a bar for a couple drinks. Then we went back to her place and had mind-blowing sex.

I thought of other cases like that and realized why my temper was getting worse with women: they were rewarding me for it. Subconsciously, my brain refused to tone down the anger because it was getting them more attached to me while improving my sex life. A girl will never say that she wants a man with the temper of a black bear because that would force them to admit they’re wired to be illogical and irrational. Instead they lie to themselves until guys like me figure out their buttons and reap the benefits by being that bear.

I almost never show anger with girls I haven’t had sex with yet. Before sex anger is a huge turn-off, but after sex it’s an aphrodisiac. For instance, if a girl you just met cancels a first date with you, and you bitch her out, she’ll laugh and then delete your number from her phone. But if you’ve been smashing it for a couple months, and then you call her out on a flake, her instinct will be to make a big deal out of it first, fulfilling her need for drama, and then try to smooth things out afterward.

A Buddhist-like approach to dealing with women doesn’t pay off for shorter-term relationships because things won’t get on your terms. If you want your needs to be met, you must be the boss and speak your mind immediately and with impunity. If you think about how she wronged you hours after the fact, then you missed a chance to show that you’re a man. While no woman will say they want a guy who makes them cry and feel like shit during heated moments, it is exactly what all of them want. Don’t listen to what women say, just take a look at who they fuck (me).

It has never happened that I showed my angry side to a girl and she walked. Not once. And we’re talking about girls from different countries and socioeconomic backgrounds, all the way up to the super upper reaches that I probably won’t ever get to experience. It’s hardwired into their brain to want a man who shows anger in measured doses at slot-machine jackpot frequency. While I definitely don’t recommend you use anger as a “move,” I advise you not to hold back. If you’re being disrespected or slighted then you need to let her know as soon as it happens. Your dick will thank you later.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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nathan
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nathan
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yep

Paul
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Paul
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i’ve always wanted an excuse to feel good about yelling at my women.

thanks roosh~

Paul’s last blog post: Interesting day….

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Third!

AlphaXalpha clone
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AlphaXalpha clone
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You such a fucking estrogen drama queen!

Hammer
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Hammer
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I totally noticed this with my ex. I first learned about it because she was doing it to me and I realized how shitty I felt when she blew up on me for something, but at the same time how much I wanted her. I started pulling the reversal, and it worked wonders.

Hammer’s last blog post: Pickup and Isolation.

Lily
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Lily
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I don’t think it’s that women get turned on by anger or being made to cry, they’ll only cry (unless crocodile tears or manipulation ones) if it’s by someone they care about. If someone you care about is angry or upset, the natural inclination is to get the situation back to normal (overall women are more comfortable with consensus than conflict than men) and you’ll do everything you can to make that happen, including sex. There’s also the wanting to please daddy thing. And also maternal urge to kiss and make it all better.

There is that drama thing though. Can’t you give her passion and excitement without making her cry??

Hugo M.
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Hugo M.
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“they’ll only cry if it’s by someone they care about.”

They care about themselves.

Jen
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Jen
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If you really believe that, why do you care anything about being with one of us? Your hand is a dextrous tool. Guys are always an option. You can pay a pro and treat her like whatever you want.

It surprises me when it comes as a surprise that we don’t want to be with people who seem to hate us.

What Lily said was right.

Hugo M.
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Maybe my phrase was too general but I didn’t talked about hate.

What I’m saying is that if you like drama and make somebody angry because you want drama in your relationship, you like drama more than the person you are with. You care more about feeling strong emotions than you care about his/her emotions.

Culdcept
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Culdcept
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This is very true and I’m glad you made the point about not doing this before sex. I have found myself at lot calmer since getting into game and I never let the small stuff bother me anymore. It’s good when you have enough girls that you can afford to this no matter how it turns out.

Culdcept’s last blog post: The Love Test.

George
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George
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So to be clear here, just so you don’t create a legion of guys running around manufacturing fake occasions to be angry and being angry for no reason, you are saying that IF you have been genuinely and really disrespected by a girl, there is not only no benefit from holding back your anger, but that you will benefit if you express it.

Anger per se and anger for no reason or for petty reasons are not what you are talking about, it seems.

So what it comes down is that there is no benefit in refraining from calling out a girl who disrespects you – in other words, not anger per se really, but the act of standing up for your self-respect, is what is attractive.

Girls are hard-wired to like guys who stand up for their self-respect, and self-respect is often expressed through appropriate and legitimate anger when disrespected.

These kinds of distinctions are crucially important, Roosh. So much Game advice flirts with telling guys to be pointlessly angry, aggressive, dominating, etc, when in fact overreactions of that type often show only weakness and doesn’t work at all with women, and what is really meant is in some way acting with self-respect.

THUG
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THUG
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Roosh: “Before sex anger is a huge turn-off, but after sex it’s an aphrodisiac.”

So true and even more so. The prettier they are the more they respond positively to anger. In fact most of the super hotties are so dysfunctional they really get off when you beat the fuck out of them, we even see examples of this in high profile relationships. But what can one expect because todays women are sick.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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thinking back on it , you are absolutely right

one instance in particular comes to mind . the keep a long story short , i had been involved with a chick for a while and messed up . she was holding what i did wrong over my head for a while , until at one of my parties she did the exact same thing she got mad at me for . when i saw it i grabbed her by the hand , dragged her into my room and yelled at her at the top of my lungs . she started crying and i stormed out of the room . for the rest of the night she did anything and everything to try and win me back , and the very next day when i told her ‘we needed to talk’ she told me how she had finally forgiven me for the thing i messed up for and was ready to move forward , at which point i told her i was done with her nonsense and that we were over .

when women care about a guy , they are afraid of losing him . showing anger (even sometimes when it is unjustified) will make her fear losing you , and she will work to try and win you back

virgle Kent
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This is so on point it’s not even funny! Before sex a girl has given you nothing so showing angry side let’s her walk because she’s not invested. But if it’s a good girl that’s not fucking tons of guys and thinks she waited a reasonable amount of time before banging you and thinks things are going somewhere when you show the angry side it’s like it kicks in that you might walk, she might lose you and have to start all over again.

Never underestimate a womans instinct and need to always want to please

Coffee Dates
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Hey Roosh (or anyone else),

Re: yesterday’s post about kiss closing.

In addition to regular dating, I do a fair bit of internet dating (yeah, yeah, I know). Anyways, I like going on coffee dates because I can’t go out for drinks 3 nights a week. They’re a cheap and easy way to spend an hour with a girl, make sure she looks like her pictures, and is pleasant. But I can never kiss close. Has anybody on here ever made out with a chick after a coffee date? Any special moves you use?

anon
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anon
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special moves? Uh, how about get the fuck off this website and stop taking advice from this absolute asshat. Maybe then, finally, a girl will like you. Maybe.

some guy
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some guy
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…like George said …
Maybe I’m tripping on semantics, but rather than act “angry”, it’s more natural for me simply to make it clear that my previous happy enthusiasm for seeing her has now changed to a bored, dismissive indifference to seeing her again.

Maybe that triggers the same response as acting “angry”. She knows you are not tolerating her shit with a beta smile, eager to keep a pleasant surface no matter what, so she values your positive response to her more, so she will do something positive to try to win you back.

Being “angry” with her makes me feel uncool and like I am giving her too much power to affect me.

Carl Sagan
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Carl Sagan
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I’m taking notes on this shit.

The Rookie
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The Rookie
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An old girl I was seeing (before I met Roosh) knocked over a cup full of ice on my laptop. There was no water damage (ice wasn’t melted) but I still cursed her out, even after she kept apologizing, like “what the fuck is your problem!!” I thought I had overdone it, but the sex that night, she was completely submissive, whatever I wanted I did. Soon after she was in love.

The Rookie’s last blog post: Winter Retreat.

Laura
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Laura
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I think you’re confusing “anger” with confidence and dignity. Your saying you made other plans showed that you weren’t gonna sit around and wait for her, which was hot to her. But I can’t think of a situation in which a man’s actual anger would turn me on. I hate that shit.

Laura’s last blog post: What is the ‘Appropriate’ Response to Obesity?.

Brittany Nichole Johnson
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I will tell you from personal experience as someone that freaks out if anyone might be or is angry about anything, that yes it is a huge turn off but at the same time we are wanting to make the situation better even if we have no idea what we did wrong. I’m that way whether I’m sexually involved with the person or not. Though I might be unique in that because of ptsd….

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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maybe it has something to do with the fact that..because they know youre mad..they must do more to please you.

i use to be she on yelling..i also noticed eventually when i got mad an made her upset..she learned quicker and became more submissive later on.

pepini
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pepini
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Yep first you conquer them, after treat them like shit. Conquer them, treat them like shit. It´s a vicious circle. The ones that enjoy more being bad treated are the ones who are more fucked up mentally. In the end they are all fucked up, you just gotta choose the one who´s less. I remnber having a chick that would call me just so that I treated her bad. Although I had great sex with her, eventually got tired.

Sam Spade
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Sam Spade
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The key is to know when to show anger. It’s just as important to know not to get roped into an argument that she’s starting – a sh#t test really. You won’t win by getting angry or making your point in this case. Calling her out on BS is a different matter. It takes some experience to know the difference.

Hughman
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Hughman
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Agreed.

First girl I ever fucked, day after I found out she had a boyfriend. I was pissed. I launched icy-cold fury at her when she next saw me.

First she had the shame, then her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Might as well have fed her crack.

I’d didn’t tap her again, though I should have. I couldn’t get it up for a girl that I can’t respect.

Willy Wonka
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It’s funny. I’ve gotten into fights with girls and they’ll say shit like “It’s over.”

Then a few hours later they’re calling me back leaving voicemails, crying, talking about, “I don’t really want it to be over, I was just saying that. Are you really done with me? Why are you not answering my calls?”

Lol.

Willy Wonka’s last blog post: The Fit.

Giovonny
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Showing anger can make you look strong and confident. But, it can also make you look weak and insecure. This is not a technique for Game rookies. It takes some time to create the right vibe and inner game to properly pull this off. If you are normaly a soft spoken, mild mannered guy who doesn’t let petty stuff bother you, then all of the sudden you get angry, it might come across as weird, needy, or psycho.

From the moment she meets you, she has to “sense” that you are the kind of guy who will not take any of her bullshit and will call her on it. Its more of a “vibe” that you have. Its not about choosing a strategic time to “show anger”. Its a way of life.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Roosh– Master of Cranky-Baby Game.

speakeasy
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speakeasy
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I agree with Giovanni on principle. I’m sure there’s a fine line between a righteous indignation type of anger and just coming off as insecure. If you don’t really know what you’re doing with this technique, you can blow it.

Culdcept
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@Coffee Dates:

I’m in the same boat as you. Can’t go out for drinks at night all the time and really just want to save money. I love when the girl beats me there and is sitting with her tea or coffee already. The date really costs me nothing, but what I get for myself.

I always kiss close on coffee dates (actually usually tea for me) and have gotten the makeout. Just make sure your physical escalation is up to snuff and you have a place to walk around afterwards. You wont get more than the kiss in the coffee shop, but it’s easy to get there and go for more outside.

Just because you meet there, doesn’t mean you can’t venue change or wander with 30 minutes or so.

Culdcept’s last blog post: The Love Test.

V
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V
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Anger is scary and frightening. I don’t like confrontation with anyone man woman child or centipede. Particularily not the latter. I think the issue would more be for women the fear of losing you inspires the desire to keep you. The anger is just an intense extension of the cat string theory. Take away and she wants it more. I don’t think it’s the anger itself.

V’s last blog post: Pictures!.

The G Manifesto
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“While I definitely don’t recommend you use anger as a “move,” I advise you not to hold back.”

Like Roosh says, this is not a Game technique (and to use it as one is weak.)

Basically, be yourself and don’t completely handcuff yourself.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Player Myth #4081: The Dope Ride.

Defecator Den
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Defecator Den
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what if I’m not a depressed nerd?

therealdeal
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therealdeal
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interesting post however, I dont think that Anger is the appropriate word…it’s more like standing up to yourself and not taking shit…now this can be done in a firm, cool, calm and collected way or it can be done in a crazy, highly emotional, angry way…I believe that the latter is weaker as it gives the women the impression that she managed to get under your skin and affect/manipulate your emotional response.

A recent study shows that men who are EMOTIONALLY NEUTRAL are seen as more socially dominant than men who show anger, sadness, guilt or happiness

http://www.psychophysiolab.com/uhess/pubs/HSH09.pdf

roissy
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roissy
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great post, roosh. as if more proof was needed by men actually out there in the field, it’s absolutely true that women melt for occasional outbursts of manly anger. call it anger, or jerkiness, or assholery, chicks dig it. but as you said, it’s counterproductive to get angry and emotionally invested in a girl before she’s become your lover. she’ll just see that is weakness. there is a time for aloofness and a time for engagement.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Angry Crybaby Game works well on dumber/lower self-esteem chicks. Higher status ones will think “angry = no self-control = no balls/no status.” They may think all the drama is entertaining for a while, then tell you to go to hell if they don’t need a male girlfriend.

fox
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fox
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you need medication

Lika
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Lika
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I remember the first time I got angry with my girlfriend (for a good reason) and she cried. I was like 14.

I got a hard on instantly… God knows why 🙂

suck
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suck
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so you got laid in Brazil? And scientists thought it could not be done :))))

Natasha
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Natasha
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Haters gonna hate. But to be fair, Roo is a tad slow in the head and icky-looking. No way I’d let him get angry at me.

papillon
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papillon
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the haters on this one are trying to spread out the inane comments so they are not hogging them all for themselves

Crazy Cuban
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Crazy Cuban
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To the haters go suck a dick:tard: Roosh, honestly this shit really works, I don’t know why but women go crazy for a man who knows how to put them in their place. To Giovonny: I couldn’t agree more, with u “From the moment she meets you, she has to “sense” that you are the kind of guy who will not take any of her bullshit and will call her on it. Its more of a “vibe” that you have. Its not about choosing a strategic time to “show anger”. Its a way of life” So so true, if you let them get away with shit all the time, and out of nowhere you get pissed you could come across as a needy little bitch. This is why it’s so important to call them out from the get go.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Avoid anger. Sure it might work but its better to just ignore, stay happy and puruse your goals and interests.

This is AFC sorry Roosh. i am putting money that these are lower status women you are using anger on. Decent women dont appreciate this

A high status guy wouldnt bother getting angry in this situation. They would just carry on with life and have a women chase them up

demeterious
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demeterious
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This is dumb what do you think he did by telling her he has plans with his roommate and shit lol?

Rivelino
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Rivelino
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Bitching out the girl does show power, and demonstrates value, because it shows that you are not afraid to lose her. However, it sort of contradicts a lot of what I have been reading from Roissy and Mystery, about being an oak tree or a ghost. But I believe it. It’s the whole pimp theory. Girls need to submit to a strong man. It’s just in their biology.

Rivelino’s last blog post: A woman’s natural tendency..

CAVemanChris
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Your so money son and you don’t even know it…or maybe u do? Well this is what happened to me. I been trying to smash my long term ex-girlfriend for years(like 10+) but she is notoriously flakey..I mean like the worst flake ever. Well she flaked on me one day for the last time and I lost it. I deleted everything Facebook(I know gay), Phone number, and told her not to contact me ever again and how shit of a person/friend she was. Well she was so upset and hurt by the whole experience that she convinced me to hang out and I finally met up with her. We hung out in a lounge for a little while with some of her friends then we went back to my place and I got the full girlfriend experience…went down exactly how I visualized it..haha. It’s like she felt she owed me. Your dead on brother.

CAVemanChris’s last blog post: FR: Gua Rapo 10-23—-10-24-09.

AlphaXalpha
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AlphaXalpha
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I think the whole idea of game is just plain stupid.
I am not sure if you just dont get it, or if you post this stuff because hey, everyone’s gotta make a buck. I am thinking the latter.
All the crap you post can be put together and summarized in three blindingly obvious points:

1. Be confident.
2. Don’t let yourself get walked over (stand your ground, etc).
3. More attempts=more and better results.

That’s it. All of this elaborate “PUA” stuff is totally ridiculous. If you do the above and still don’t get laid, you need to improve your physical appearance or lower your standards.

Lumiere
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Lumiere
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Actually this post is half right

A man who is high status, sets clear boundaries, is connected to his masculine core and knows how to emotionally engage women is an aphrodisiac to women.

Anger, however, poisons the connection that you have.

Make up sex is great and it might even feel like the poison in the relationship caused by the anger was removed.

It wasn’t.

Big Snot
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Big Snot
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This is not true at all.

baby Sarah
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baby Sarah
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:)))) Your haters are so retarded. So are you. AlphaXalpha is the shit. PUA/game is for dorks.

papillon
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papillon
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what the hell?

it’s like long knives night for roosh on here now

Cliff Arroyo
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Cliff Arroyo
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This is basic monkey science, hasn’t anyone here ever had classes in primatology?

Perceptible anger is a step away from physical violence and when monkeys use physical violence on their own kind it’s to prompt submissive displays (the monkey’s way of saying ‘don’t hit me’ or ‘stop with biting and clawing already’. Often a threat display from a high ranking or stronger is enough to trigger submission in physically weaker one.

For a human woman, sex requires a submissive display and once she’s spread ’em for a particular guy it’s super easy for the wires to get crossed in her head between giving in to threats from him and giving in to passion for him. Especially if she’s the kind to fall for game in the first place.

Max
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Max
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“While I definitely don’t recommend you use anger as a ‘move,’ I advise you not to hold back.”

Putting it that way is a bit confused.

I agree that anger has its place in a relationship. However, saying that anger itself is the Turn On and advising socially inept men not to hold back is like handing a child.

Max’s last blog post: What Fresh Hell?.

Max
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Max
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(. . . handing a child a hammer.)

Max’s last blog post: What Fresh Hell?.

AlphaXalpha
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AlphaXalpha
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“46 Roosh
2 hours, 46 minutes ago
AlphaXalpha: You do realize you are the thousandth guy on this blog to decry crime and spit out simplistic “be yourself” advice instead, and that zero guys will get laid because of what you say here. My advice on the other hand gets results for hundreds of guys.”

Let’s assume for one second that what you say is true (which is a big assumption).

Even if it were so, that does not disprove my point.

Rather than try to awkwardly memorize and analyze hundreds of partially valid half truths that you spew out and call “game,” your exalted readership would be far better served in developing individual approaches based on human experience and rooted in general common sense and self reliance as I noted above.

Giovonny
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Giovonny
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Good debate between Roosh and AlphaXalpha.

Some guys do need basic fundamental and specific advice on how meet and date girls. It might seem silly to guys that already have self confidence and conversational skills. But many inexperienced guys need Books like “Bang” to give them a starting point.

That being said, it had become quite obvious that most popular PUA’s are just trying to convince naive guys to buy their products.

DrSportello
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DrSportello
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Well said. I suspect a lot of guys that come to sites such as this one are far to the right on the autism/Aspbergers spectrum such as myself so it’s difficult for them to talk to women effectively without detailed breakdowns, tips and explanations.