Are You A Hater Or A Facilitator?

A hater will read a story and try to think of why it’s fake.
A facilitator will read a story and find out what the author did to succeed.

A hater gives a lot of thought into how one race is superior to another.
A facilitator learns from the strengths of other races to accomplish his personal goals.

A hater feels better when others fail.
A facilitator feels sympathy when others fail.

A hater posts blog comments that take away value.
A facilitator posts blog comments that add value.

A hater focuses on a person’s weaknesses.
A facilitator focuses on a person’s strengths.

A hater fails at getting laid and then calls all women bitches.
A facilitator fails at getting laid and then figures out what went wrong.

A hater surrounds himself with people stupider than he is.
A facilitator surrounds himself with people smarter than he is.

A hater is closed off to new information that doesn’t fit his world view.
A facilitator is ready to change his world view in light of opposing evidence.

A hater believes there is only one path to success.
A facilitator believes there are many ways to skin a cat.

A hater feels better by trying to keep other people down.
A facilitator feels better by lifting other people up along with him.

A hater goes to the club to grill other guys and make fun of them.
A facilitator goes to the club to hit on girls.

A hater gets upset when his peers succeed before him.
A facilitator gets extra motivated when his peers succeed before him.

A hater believes the path to self-actualization is to withhold knowledge.
A facilitator believes that the path to self-actualization is to teach others.

A hater is dominated by negative thoughts.
A facilitator is dominated by positive thoughts, even in the face of guaranteed failure.

So, are you a hater or are you a facilitator?

60 Comments

  1. Suz August 17, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Sharing!

  2. Bob August 17, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Facilitator

  3. Neil Skywalker August 17, 2012 at 9:41 am

    I guess there’s a little bit of hater in everyone but overall i’d be a facilitator.

  4. Hater August 17, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Hitting writer block, my man Roosh? Can’t be that simple as hater/Facilitator … as a former scientist you know better Homey.

  5. DaemonMan August 17, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Think we all are a little bit of both, some more the one than the other.
    For example, since you probably yourself feel a little bit better about yourself by writing this (since you dont think your a hater) you are putting yourself above others(the haters) and thereby elevating your own hate a bit.
    Noone is a saint, trick is, find a balance.

  6. Raul Felix August 17, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I chose to be a facilitator. I’ve tried hard to eliminate all hater habits and mind set from myself. I’m still sarcastic and funny, but only in a way that people around me get. I like being around people who are better than me. Haters going to hate, let them. The real men keep on driving on.

  7. Timoteo August 17, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I think some aspects of a hater emerge from time to time in most of us, but the key is, do you allow it to rule you, or do you push past it? Do you check yourself and re-evaluate? Some motherfuckers warrant hate, but make sure you’re directing it at someone that truly warrants it.

  8. Virgle Kent August 17, 2012 at 10:29 am

    “A hater goes to the club to grill other guys and make fun of them.
    A facilitator goes to the club to hit on girls.”

    TRU! LOL got grilled so hard the past weekend had to write about it. Like don’t worry about the girl I got or even how I got her… get ya own ya heard!

  9. Aaron August 17, 2012 at 10:55 am

    This post SUCKS. Flaky Tony Robbins bullshit.

    Just kidding. Good stuff.

  10. Mike August 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

    “every little fvcking haters gonna hate, bro!” -zyzz

  11. K August 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Why then are you so opposed to evidence about human biodiversity and discussing in openly on the forum?

    It is red pill wisdom, surely, but one would assume that practitioners of game would be openminded enough to discuss it as well.

  12. realist August 17, 2012 at 11:37 am

    hater fits the profile of masculine thinking and someone rooted in reality.

    the facilitator looks mostly like a feminine world view and wishful thinking based in fantasy.

    hate wins.

  13. rick August 17, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I troll matt forney and the black pill.

    I offered them advice and they spat it back at me.

    Evolution realists (choosing to have sex with just 1 race), the angry bitter men of the sexual lower classes and fat people tend to bring that out in me.

  14. Mojo August 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Rick, you should start your own blog. I’d link to you.

    But only if you keep telling people they’re FINISHED.

  15. Kenny Lives August 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Sounds a lot like the posters in Roissy ‘s forum. So bitter.
    Anyway I’ve been reading both you AND Roissy’s forum for the passed year almost and haven’t done much to finally start practicing game seeing as I’m a slow learner. Bought BOTH you Bang books and am about to give them a SECOND reading so as to ingrain and better remember everything. Can’t seem to shake that intense nervous feeling when an opportunity arises and find myself always going in my head also. Just can’t get over not knowing what to say.

  16. cookie9001 August 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Sharing knowledge not only helps other people, but it makes you feel awesome as well. Yesterday I was giving out game advice and while doing so I was laughing, making jokes, and having fun helping other guys.Everyone except two dudes were enjoying themselves and swapping their own tips.

    The two hater guys said “you guys are full of shit” and sulked off to silently watch TV by themselves.

    Not only did the haters not learn anything, but they also forced themselves into having a bad time, simply because they were too narrow minded to except that game actually works.

  17. Krauser August 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    John Maynard Keynes – “When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?”

  18. Takeover Legend August 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    A facilitator puts Roosh’s gonads on his chin, a hater questions whether Roosh is having writers block.
    Really though, you do good work Roosh was just saying as a former scientist you would utilize more than 2 ways to label or determine something.

  19. Nyk August 17, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    “When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?”

    I laugh at JM Keynes for changing his mind according to the facts and still getting it wrong.

  20. Billy August 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Hater and proud

  21. SteadyState August 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Roosh – you write a lot of good stuff, and some less good stuff. Do you believe what you just wrote in this post?

    Specifically: A hater is dominated by negative thoughts.
    A facilitator is dominated by positive thoughts, even in the face of guaranteed failure.

    and

    A hater focuses on a person’s weaknesses.
    A facilitator focuses on a person’s strengths.

    I’m assuming from the post that you see yourself as a facilitator.
    The titles of a few of your recent posts.

    “Never listen to a woman”
    “Call the bitch out”
    “15 reasons why Washington DC sucks”
    “42 things wrong with American women”
    etc. etc.

    If you were a facilitator rather than a hater, my friend, don’t you think you could have made the self-same points you did in those posts in a rather different manner? Don’t get me wrong, a well-informed, witty and eloquent hater can say interesting things in an entertaining way. But if the above list is an indicator of your self-image at a time when perhaps you’re feeling the butt of a lot of criticism, you need to read it again carefully and more self-critically.

    Either be happy in being one of the angry voices of game or look at how your personal style is in conflict with your self-perception and do that other thing – namely:

    A facilitator is ready to change his world view in light of opposing evidence.

  22. silent August 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    @ SteadyState21
    Calling out bad behaviour doesn’t make you a hater. Telling people to stop rewarding bad behaviour doesn’t make you a hater.
    Perhaps you missed the posts and books lauding women from other countries

  23. cle August 17, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    half hater and half facilitator 🙂

  24. SteadyState August 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    silent – I think it was fairly clear that I was commenting on the tone and approach of the posts, not the content. As I said “could have made the self-same points in a different manner”.

    Look at Neil Strauss’s writing (and ignore the manipulative marketing attempts by his team) – that is how you take this content and put it across as a ‘facilitator’. Roosh, and Roissy – are fabulous, visceral counterpoints. That’s their strength, and what makes them so brilliant. But when the deliberately provocative approach prompts a reaction, don’t start going on about how beastly all the haters are. There’s a bit of reaping going on after there was some sowing, if you see what I mean.

  25. LS August 17, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    This post sounds like it was written by Yoda. I wonder if he had game?

  26. SteadyState August 17, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    LS – definitely!

    “When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not, hmmm?”

    Classic neg, surely

  27. Wolfie August 17, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Some guys can’t figure out that pretty much everything is on a scale. No one is 100% either end of it. Same guys don’t understand that things can be probabilistic and not deterministic. Whatever. This post is a pretty good way of telling whether you’re being a dick or not in a given situation.

    Actually, I’ve applied pretty much everything I’ve read from Roosh whenever I could, and it holds up in my little experience so far. Only thing I can’t figure out is the bit about peeling a banana from the bottom (in the 50 pieces of advice post). I mean, it’s literally easier that way and I always did peel them from the bottom, but if it’s some kind of game metaphor, I’m gonna need a clue on that one.

  28. Bruce August 17, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    This shit is gay as fuck.

  29. Hot Alpha Mom August 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Hater keeps talking about how inadequate women are
    Facilitator joins the strong ranks of male feminists

    – H.A.M.

  30. Anonymous August 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    This basically distills down to an champion’s mentality and a loser’s mentality.

    Most everything Roosh posted in the facilator columns has a postive impact on that individual acheiving success while the hater is simply a loser in life that has a poisonious outlook that leads to his downfall and the people around him.

    I think the post should be changed into winner vs. loser as it’s more accurate.

  31. rick August 17, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    @kenny lives

    Reading those books again and again probably wont do fuck all.

    Whats worked for me is keeping shit as simple as possible.

    Try being friendly and cool.

    Now this sounds retarded, too vague. But look into it with some depth.

    Dont be mistaking beta with friendly. Think of a confident and friendly guy you know. Guys like this are a pleasure to be around for both sexes.

    If your traveling solo these 2 traits come in mighty handy.

    Cool also sounds too vague. I actually came up with an anology for what being cool actually is while watching Nolans batman movies.

    Theres a quote “…it’s not who i am underneath, but what i do that defines me…” .

    Basically i see this as, you get guys out there who try and act cool, and you get guys out there who actually do cool shit.

    The more cool shit you do which i basically see as having interesting life experiences that the majority of people may shy away from become its outside their comfort zones.

    The more shit you do like this, the more interesting stories your gonna have. Have a shitload of good stories to tell, then try seeing if your having a problem thinking of things to say.

  32. thordaddy August 17, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    The “black man” is facilitator in the “white” liberal’s self-annihilation.

    Does that make the white Supremacist a hater?

  33. michelin August 17, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Definitely, there is truth in this opposition, but I join Neil Skywalker here: we are a mix of both, but we tend towards one of both sides. I hope I’m more of a facilitator…

  34. JM August 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    “A hater believes the path to self-actualization is to withhold knowledge.
    A facilitator believes that the path to self-actualization is to teach others.”

    This is an interesting one. In my experiences, I’ve never met a natural alpha that was much willing to share privy knowledge–whether it be about girls, where he got his clothes, what music he’s listening to, etc. Natural alphas seem keenly aware that knowledge is power, and of the inherent value of scarcity.

    “A hater gets upset when his peers succeed before him.
    A facilitator gets extra motivated when his peers succeed before him.”

    This I think is positivity overload. It’s impossible not get to upset when a peer succeeds before you. Particularly if you pursue a creative endeavor…it always hurts when you see peers surpassing you. That’s the immediate, visceral reaction, anyway. If you’re able to not dwell on the envy and eventually spin into a motivating force that’s impressive enough.

  35. kolovrat August 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    I estimate I’m about 30% hater / 70% facilitator.

    But really I have to say that a few of those strike me as false dichotomies.

  36. Anonymous August 17, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    “A hater surrounds himself with people stupider than he is.
    A facilitator surrounds himself with people smarter than he is”

    Does that mean a facilitator hangs around haters?

  37. Tenmagnet August 17, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    “A hater is closed off to new information that doesn’t fit his world view.
    A facilitator is ready to change his world view in light of opposing evidence.”

    So few people are willing to open their minds to different worldviews. Personally, I love reading stuff that I disagree with.

    But why is the opposite of a hater a “facilitator”? It should be a “winner”.

  38. Anonymous August 17, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    An I the only one who’s disappointed that David Fucktrelle hadn’t graced us with his knowledge yet?

  39. Jay in DC August 17, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Roosh-

    You are, unquestionably, one of the people that birthed the Manosphere, for this reason, I have ‘nothin’ but love for ya baby’ as the old saying goes. But as others have said, in this post, you seem a little off your game, and it appears to be filler.

    I -am- glad that you allow negative critique in your comments section though, nothing is more open minded or encouraging than an individual who can take and handle criticism.

    I take special, and exceptional issue with this however- “A hater gives a lot of thought into how one race is superior to another.
    A facilitator learns from the strengths of other races to accomplish his personal goals.”

    Like many in the manosphere, multicult is a poison just slightly less insidious than feminism.

    If I keep chanting 2+2=5 over and over for hours a day while constantly bobbing my head to the mantra, does it become true in Orwellian Fashion? There are certain “cultural norms” that all civilized men should adhere to. Cultural, being different from racial, obviously. Yet, inextricably intertwined to one another as we’ve seen throughout most of history. Societies adhere to a standard of conduct. That conduct is normally beset and enforced by the majority culture/race. Things have turned upside down in the last few decades. Race is NOT excluded from this. To say otherwise, well, see Orwellian above.

    Again, just some constructive criticism as you try to walk the tightrope between these various worlds.

  40. Sam August 18, 2012 at 6:02 am

    A hater gives a lot of thought into how one race is superior to another.
    A facilitator learns from the strengths of other races to accomplish his personal goals.

    Roosh this is a great post, tell you boy heartiste to read it. That idiot routinely posts race baiting stuff. He even posted a picture of Usain Bolt in a room with 3 swede chicks, and called him an interloper of the tribe. If that guy doesn’t deserve premium pussy, who does?

  41. Brandon August 18, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Roosh,

    If the stock market crashes and most of the world goes into global chaos for a decade or so, how will that affect our pussy plunging potential?

  42. ThePatriarch August 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Gotta agree 100% with Jay in DC on this one.

    When you take the red pill you cannot pick and choose which parts of the truth you will accept. You take all or nothing.

    Much of this list is true, but there are a few on there that don’t stand up in such stark terms, as others have pointed out.

    Great writing though.

  43. Try Examing Yourself August 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    A hater is someone who refers to Mens Rights Activists as sexual losers and not realizing there is indeed a war being waged against men by the governing liberal elite.

  44. Raj August 18, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Merging this: “A hater gives a lot of thought into how one race is superior to another.
    A facilitator learns from the strengths of other races to accomplish his personal goals.”

    With this:
    “A hater is closed off to new information that doesn’t fit his world view.
    A facilitator is ready to change his world view in light of opposing evidence.”

    Multiculture is only a problem if you believe your own culture already has all the right answers.

    Otherwise, if you are willing to learn, it can be the solution to the problems in your culture.

  45. demetrius August 18, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    Man, Roosh you are still the man. Thanks for reminding me again of the stuff I let slip through.
    Thank you I’ll get better.

  46. Derrick August 18, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    A hater makes comments on Roissy’s blog.

    A facilitator spends his time hitting on women.

  47. Anonymous August 19, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Gotta agree 100% with Jay in DC on this one.

    When you take the red pill you cannot pick and choose which parts of the truth you will accept. You take all or nothing.

    He’s not rejecting the truth. He’s rejecting HBD. HBD is as much a part of the red pill as scientology. It’s all kookery. Stop trying to act like HBD kookery is red pill knowledge. Stupid HBDer.

  48. ThePatriarch August 19, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    feminism and multiculturalism are two branches of the same marxist tree

  49. Ari August 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Noone can be a true hater or a facilitator. We are all at some end of the spectrum. I’m more of a selfish hater, but my hate has spurred me continuously to achieve my goals slowly but surely. Whatever works, imo.

  50. Ivar August 20, 2012 at 11:37 am

    This is one of the best examples of the Strawman argument I’ve ever seen.

  51. madmax August 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Very impressive post

    A facilitator

  52. madmax August 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    # 50 ‘Noone can be a true hater or a facilitator’

    Talk for yourself. I know exactly where I stand. I am angry, but am definitely a facilitator. An hater is just a whiny little bitch, constantly pointing fingers but never having the level of introspection and wisdom to look in the mirror and to grow up.

  53. madmax August 21, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    PS. to be more accurate, my definition of hater is ‘ a whiny little bitch, constantly pointing fingers but never having the level of introspection and wisdom to look in the mirror and to grow up. One who talks about how bad other people are, but who’s never productive in any ways. He doesn’t learn shit, and neither he tries. He’s so stupid and lazy as fuck , that he believes it’s wasted time.’

  54. MaMu1977 August 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    “Strong male feminist” is an oxymoron.

  55. Pingback: We Come Not to Praise the Men’s Rights Movement, But to Bury It

  56. El Intoxicaed Impaler November 23, 2013 at 1:58 am

    Roosh this is one many articles you’ve written I post to my home screen. My favorites are one approach a day, the roosh v program, and I’m ready to man up- haha. I also love the one about mediocrity and how the guy has 2
    Kids gets divorced nails a few
    More
    Mediocore
    The title of this one
    Was funny and the message clear. Dude you seriously
    Have a lot of synapses firing in your brain. You are definitely not a low iq person- quite the contrary you’re intelligent and entertaining. To the game!

  57. Pingback: The Pick Up Artist Film | The Game Neil Strauss PUA

  58. Pingback: Mystery Method A1 | Speed Seduction

  59. Pingback: Download Double Your Dating For Free | The Game Neil Strauss PUA

  60. Pingback: Pua Community Singapore | Neil Strauss Blog

  61. Brian C Spinniken January 20, 2017 at 5:48 am

    Great ways to think about life. Great ways to become a better person. God Speed