All posts by Roosh

How To Control Your Lust

If you believe in the secular lies that underpin Western culture, you probably see yourself as an animal that should not be denied pleasure. You believe that sex is one of the principal features of life, perhaps its only joy, and so we should all succumb to it whenever the mood strikes us. Besides, it’s “biological.” We should sexualize others, sexualize ourselves, watch pornographic entertainment, obsess over sex continually, and fornicate without intending to reproduce. We must all adopt a “sex positive” outlook and treat our existence as just a means to diddling our genitals and achieving orgasmic release.

I don’t believe we are intended for recreational sex, in part because I was a world champion at it and got nothing for my efforts: no lasting happiness, no inner peace, no love, and most severely, no family. I donated the prime years of my life in exchange for practically nothing, just temporal physical entertainment, and so it wasn’t especially difficult for me to choose a life of chastity, which is demanded of me as a non-married Christian. The implementation of chastity in a sex-obsessed society, however, is challenging, especially since I’m still a healthy, vigorous man who has the skill and know-how to fornicate with random women.

Here are the four ways I’m resisting urges of the flesh. I tackled these one at a time in sequential order, but you may attempt to fulfill them all at once.

1. Stop watching pornography

I believe hardcore porn is a direct tool that Satan uses to corrupt the minds of males of all ages. I can’t think of something more directly evil with not only destroying the innocence of young boys, but also fully grown men who become addicted to watching other men sexually devour and humiliate broken women. Porn programs you to think of sex only in recreational terms and to view women as masturbatory glove sleeves that happen to be attached to a human being. Even worse, it desensitizes you to sex and makes it more difficult to be intimate with a real woman (i.e. your wife). Moderation of porn still introduces a drop of poison into your cup, so I advise you to erase all the porn you have saved on your computer and delete all your favorite bookmarks in one go.

It doesn’t stop at porn. You also have to stop viewing sexy images of women in bikinis, lingerie, and yoga pants. Even movies that are rated PG-13 must be watched carefully: close your eyes or turn away during scenes of passion. When I watched the horrible final season of Game Of Thrones, I turned away from all sex scenes, no matter how mild, whereas in seasons prior I’d have no problem letting the show’s producers plant seeds of sex into my psyche.

2. View women in public from only the neck up

Once you get the “virtual” world of sex handled, it’s time to move into the real world. When I was still in Poland upon receiving the faith, I was tempted daily by countless beautiful women who seemed desperate to show men their sex. They wanted me to stare at them because it gave them power in the form of attention and validation while steering my mind toward sexual thoughts.

I solved this by viewing women only from the neck up. This can be extremely difficult because fashion companies design clothing to frame the breasts and butt. These two areas are the centerpieces that help sell clothing to insecure women who want to feel sexy, meaning that even if you look only at a girl’s face, the periphery of your vision will still catch sight of her breasts, especially in the case of a plunging neckline or extra tight blouse. Your eyes, in spite of your best efforts, will stray and look downwards, but a glance is quite different from a prolonged, lustful stare. The latter will provide more than enough fuel for evil to penetrate your mind.

God created beauty for us to appreciate and admire, so I don’t believe in poking your eyes out. While some women can sexualize their face with makeup or by injecting their lips with plastic filler, you will find it far more difficult to think of sex upon staring at a naturally beautiful face than a big butt or pair of breasts. If you’re single like me, viewing women from the neck up has an added benefit of encouraging you to only meet girls who have genuine beauty, instead of a tainted sexuality that she displays to all men of the world in order to extract cheap pleasure. In other words, if you’re interested in a girl after a thorough examination of her breasts or butt, you’re giving consent for a woman to place sexual shackles upon your wrists.

3. Do not feed sexual thoughts that enter your mind

When sexual thoughts about a female entered my mind, I used to feed them by enhancing the fantasy and, if I was in bed, stroking my penis as if I were a monkey. I would essentially self-hypnotize myself with sex by keeping the fantasy alive in my mind as long as possible to feel a maximal state of arousal that could lead to a satisfactory session of masturbation. If I wasn’t in bed, I would let the thoughts take hold until I at least got a firm erection. I applied no will in stopping the sexual thoughts. If anything, I welcomed them when they came, a sign that I was still a “healthy” man with “high” testosterone and optimal “biology.” In order to halt this pattern, I began reciting the Jesus Prayer whenever a sexual thought entered my mind:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

For some thoughts, you may only need to recite the prayer a few times. For potent fantasies, you may need to recite it on and off for hours or even days. Focus on each individual word of the prayer and be persistent. If you are encountering a sustained demonic attack, I advise you to add sessions of the Jesus Prayer well after the sexual thoughts abate in order to ensure that the fire is completely extinguished. It may help you to get a prayer rope and recite the prayer in blocks of fifty or one-hundred. The fact that sinful passion can be defeated by asking Christ for mercy shows that it’s difficult to be in full communion with God while also feeding your lust, which is why our elites had to kill God before ushering in the sexual revolution. Soon, you’ll be able to stop a sexual thought just by saying “stop” to yourself or shaking your head, but for cases where that doesn’t work, call on Jesus to help you.

Recently, an attractive woman made it clear that she desired me for sex. I had to fight this urge for multiple nights. She even entered in my dreams, where she was more seductive than in person. To overcome my passion for her, I recited the Jesus Prayer hundreds of times, and stepped up my prayer rule. After eventually winning this particular battle, Satan has diminished his lustful attacks on me. He now tries to distance me from God through pride, which is a significantly more challenging battle to face than lust.

The goal here is to stop feeding the sexual thoughts that enter your mind instead of attempting to control your thoughts entirely. Sinful thoughts will decrease in frequency over time, but they will not be eliminated completely, because God did give us a sexual nature that is both useful and necessary within the confines of marriage. Beware: if you experience a long streak where no sexual thoughts are entering your mind, it may be an effort by Satan to make you complacent before he hits you with fury. Never proclaim ultimate victory over your passions until this life is finished.

4. Do not masturbate

Masturbation is so normalized in the culture that we think of it as natural as eating, but it’s actually a grotesque behavior. What happens when you witness a dog or cat humping an inanimate object? You probably think it’s funny, and take out your phone to record the scene so that you can share the laughter—in the form of that animal’s humiliation—with other people. It’s no different when you do it. Masturbation, if viewed from the outside in, is a humiliating and degrading act where we treat our bodies like a plastic doll for a moment of gratification that harms our relationship with God.

What’s even more harmful than masturbation is that it requires you to consume pornography, whether on a digital screen or through a fantasy in your mind. In either case, you hypnotize yourself with a scene that is not based in reality. The porn actresses, often a sex trafficking victim or a drug addict who ran away from home, moans in pleasure when she’s actually experiencing both physical and emotional pain. Her affection for the male actor is not real. The sexual images in your mind are also not real. In effect, you have to delude yourself in order to masturbate, a hint to its perversion. I therefore advise you to cease all masturbation without exception.

I know what you’re thinking: it’s impossible not to masturbate. It surely will be impossible if don’t follow the first three guidelines above. If you watch pornography, view women in a sexual way, and feed sexual thoughts that enter your mind instead of praying to Jesus for help, your prostate gland will be busy producing seminal fluid in anticipation of sex, creating a “backed-up” feeling that can even cause testicular pain. Refraining from masturbation will then seem like torture. However, if you faithfully follow the guidelines, and lean on God when you need help, He will help you achieve what you previously thought was impossible. Your body will quietly drain unused seminal fluid and semen faster than you can create it, and you will not experience any pain.

Conclusion

You will be tempted to make exceptions to what I’ve written above. You’ll think that just a little bit of porn won’t hurt you, or that masturbating once in a while is no big deal, or that checking out girls can’t be that bad because you’re “in control,” but I can tell you from experience that slipping just slightly opens the door just enough for Satan to flood your mind with filth. Once the camel’s head is in your boxer shorts, it’s inevitable that you’ll succumb.

I have not found a way to control the lust I have for women unless I go all the way. Otherwise, a small compromise in my willpower will lead to a full-blown crisis, and there I am, my tongue hanging out of my mouth, craving a promiscuous woman’s body. It’s either all or nothing, though when starting off, you can tackle one guideline at a time until you achieve full chastity.

Controlling your lust may be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, because the path of least resistance is doing what most other men are doing: viewing women in predominately sexual terms, opening the door when a demon comes knocking with fantasies of sex, accessing Jewish-produced pornography as an aid to your dog-like behavior, and degrading the holy temple that is your body. Cease all those behaviors through willpower, prayer, and faith. If you really want to stop participating in sexual sin, God will help you, as He has helped me.

Read Next: 8 Personal Defects That Allowed Me To Worship Fornication For 18 Years

Nightclubs Are Satanic Temples

I first stepped foot into a nightclub in Washington D.C. when I was 21 years old. The music was incredibly loud and uncomfortable, but there were sexy women everywhere. In the eighteen years that followed, I had eagerly visited nightclubs hundreds of times. Now, I find them intolerable. Some of that is surely due to middle age, but a big part of it is because I’ve come to believe that nightclubs serve as a modern form of Satanic worship.

Why do people go to clubs?

The prospect of intimacy draws men to clubs, but what draws women? If you ask them, they usually give two answers: to “dance” and to “spend time with friends.” But both can be done outside of the confines of a club, so what is the real reason? Women go to clubs because it is the most socially acceptable way for them to glorify themselves through the deadly sin of pride (i.e. gaining attention), often through dancing in a sexual manner, and also to achieve fornication with the least amount of effort, friction, and risk possible. Away from parents and parish, she is able to scratch her itch to feel both beautiful and sexual. While a woman doesn’t fornicate every time she goes to the club, it is simple to do so if she chooses.

As our lives move towards the virtual, the fornicative aspect of the nightclub is decreasing. Many men whine that things are not as easy as they used to be. This is because women are now getting a double dose of vanity and pride from using her virtual reality machine (smartphone). It’s common to see women in clubs spending more time chronicling the night with their smartphone for the men who lust after them online than to pay attention to the handful of real-life men beside her.

Men go to clubs to get intoxicated and fornicate, and women go to clubs to get intoxicated, fornicate, and feed their vanity. This is all facilitated by the default club setup. Most are dark, making everyone look more attractive than they really are, which encourages you to lust over just about anyone, especially if you’re a man. The strobe lighting disorients your sense of space while the loud, thumping music displaces pure thought. The pulsating beat of electronic music is what a zombie would prefer—unchanging and undead. The alcohol reduces your inhibition and any potential resistance to making a wrong decision. Soon you’ll wish for the night to never end, which is made possible by a series of afterparties and the uppers that are taken there. How can we not conclude that nightclubs are designed to bring people into sin? And what force or being in existence has tried to bring all of humanity into sin? Would he approve of such a place?

Satan’s pleasure temple

Last year, I joined a group of friends to hit a nightclub. By this point, I had stopped going to them, but out of camaraderie, I joined for a while. When we arrived at the club’s front entrance, I noticed an esoteric symbol on the door that looked like a maze. The text above it read “Give Me Everything.” It appeared that I was agreeing to some sort of contract.

Like most clubs, it was dark and loud. I sat on a couch and watched people on the dance floor. They were “dancing,” according to the modern definition, but it was more like a convulsion, a prolonged seizure captured in slow motion. There was little variance in their movements since the music was at a constant beat per minute. Several women, dressed in short skirts and tight pants, opted out of dancing and stayed focused on their smartphone, the glow of the screen revealing heavy applications of makeup. They texted, took photos, and captured short videos for Instagram stories that were meant to highlight how much fun they were having. Some girls came to the club to feed their vanity directly, but others came to record content and feed it to a much larger audience online.

To my right, a drunk man was groping a woman. Her breast was about to escape out of her top, but she was so drunk that she neither noticed nor cared. I looked at the DJ, the controller of the crowd, pleasing the dark spirits from his electronic turntable altar. He was on an elevated stage and bobbed his head continuously, and would occasionally do a fist pump. At that moment, I realized that all that was needed to convert this typical club scene into a full-on Satanic ritual was the DJ donning a dark robe, sacrificing a live animal, and spraying the animal’s blood onto the crowd. I doubt anyone would have felt surprised if he had done so. They were approaching a state of ecstasy, and only needed to offer a blood sacrifice to Satan to speed up the fulfillment of his worldly rewards. I left within an hour. By staying in such a place, I knew that I was giving a subtle form of consent to allow these worshippers of the dark to affect me in ways that can’t possibly lead to light.

Most people don’t give a second thought to participating in a behavior that “everyone else” is doing. How can going to nightclubs be wrong if a huge percentage of young people do it? This is the exact type of thinking that the oligarchs and culture-makers use to nudge you towards behaviors that steer you away from God. In Sodom and Gomorrah, “everyone” was engaging in some form of sodomy, and thought it was normal, but the destruction of those cities showed that following the crowd is foolish.

If we live in an inverted society, which I believe is the case, anything that is popular or trendy must by default bring you into the arms of Satan. In a Godly society, it could be fruitful to follow what everyone else is doing, but we don’t live in such a society, so you’re better off doing what no worldly person is doing. For me, that means not going to nightclubs, and not investing time into the women who do.

Read Next: Roosh Hour #37: Interview With E. Michael Jones

21 Secular Articles I Highly Recommend

1. Leftist Ideology & the Corruption of the American Military [Link]

2. Human-Animal Chimeras Are Gestating on U.S. Research Farms [Link]

3. The Delphi technique of subverting local government councils [Link]

4. Introduction to American military psyop strategy [Link] (PDF)

5. Jeff Bezos is using science fiction to guide his delusional plans [Link]

6. Patriarchy Preserves Families, Feminism Destroys Them [Link]

7. Progressive policies threaten a new era of urban dysfunction [Link]

8. How Doctors Die: It’s Not Like the Rest of Us, But It Should Be [Link]

9. How America’s next Civil War could play out [Link]

10. How the U.S. and Its Allies Got Stuck with the World’s Worst New Warplane [Link]

11. Why all porn is gay [Link]

12. Invasion of the social media influencers [Link]

13. The Police Are Using Computer Algorithms to Identify If You’re a Threat [Link]

14. The Rise of The Kushner Crime Family [Link]

15. Is dentistry a science? [Link]

16. Death by selfie [Link]

17. When did America die? [Link]

18. Human and chimp DNA are not as similar as we were told [Link]

19. Parents are heartbroken that their children think they’re trans [Link]

20. The dying art of Japanese fan making [Link]

21. Australian rugby player banned from the game for not denying his Chrisitian beliefs [Link]

Read Next: 37 More Articles I Strongly Recommend

Game Is For Fallen Women

Game is a social tool that helps you have more sexual success with women, but what type of women? During the time I was applying game, I noticed that it works best on women who were in the same mode of worldly extraction as I was. In essence, I became skilled at extracting pleasure from women who were skilled at extracting pleasure from me. Therefore, game is most effective on women who are in love with worldly things and in rebellion against God.

You don’t want the women you can get with game

When you’re on a casual date with a girl, you maintain a ledger of what you have given her compared to what you have received. You note how much time and money you spent on her and how good she may be at giving you orgasms in bed. You may also calculate the opportunity cost of being with her versus another woman. Are you aware that she maintains the exact same ledger?

A girl you’re on a date with weighs how much your attractiveness can validate her, how much social status she can withdraw from you, how entertained or happy you can make her feel, and how much emotional and sexual pleasure you can give her. The modern, secular date is really a business negotiation where both participants evaluate the goods they will receive compared to the cost. The man wants sex badly, the woman kind of wants sex but much prefers the attention, validation, or other freebies, and off they go to the restaurant or bar to “negotiate” under the guise of getting to know each other. You primarily see each other as a resource to be mined, instead of someone who could be your spouse. The structure of the casual date is therefore one of extraction, and extraction primarily leads to the prospect of fornication or fornication itself.

When a girl is ready for fornication, or desires men to attempt to fornicate with her as a means to extract pleasure and good feelings, she is highly susceptible to game, which is designed to keep a fallen woman on the hook just long enough so that she opens her legs without commitment. Game has a failure rate, of course, but it is the most advanced toolset available to sleep with a woman who has decided not to save herself for marriage. You build attraction and curiosity while displaying scarcity. You show that you’re not needy. You have stock answers to common questions that make her laugh. You never make her feel guilty for being a promiscuous girl on birth control who may have an abortion or two under her belt. Most importantly, you imply that sleeping with you is the best deal she can currently make in a life that is otherwise void of meaning.

While you perform the clown dance, she is doing the same but in reverse, using her attractiveness, sensuality, charm, and feminine wiles to amplify the lust you have for her, to the point where you’re ready to throw all manner of logic and reason out the door in order for a single act of sex. Even if you have the best game in the world, a girl will effortlessly have more power than you by doing no more than showing up to the date wearing extra glossy lipstick, and the more you “win” with game by sleeping with many girls, the more you lose because of how deeply you become dependent on physical affections from women who ultimately would not sacrifice the end of a fingernail for your love without expecting the moon in return.

Find a woman who requires faith, not game

Compare the modern promiscuous woman to a virgin who worships God and shuns pre-marital sex (or a repentant woman who has confessed her past sexual mistakes). Your game, which is tuned to making promiscuous women promiscuate, is now useless. The virgin believer may be attracted to you, and may even have thoughts of sleeping with you (that she banishes from her mind through prayer), but ultimately she will not act on that lust, because she already made a vow to God to save herself for her future husband. The best “game” on her is showing your faith and your ability to protect and provide for her and any potential children.

It’s important to note that a girl who is not actively falling will still feel attraction to a good-looking man with game, but if her faith is genuine, and not something that is confined to the four walls of the gay rainbow church she visits once a month, there will be no subsequent intimacy. Attempting to break such a girl is rather grievous in God’s eyes—you are essentially playing the role of Satan in tempting her to sin. When I look at my past, at the ease of which even sexually inexperienced females slept with me, I must conclude that I was but a needed stepping stone in their conscious decision to rebel against God, and for that I’m regretful, though at the time I really believed that I was doing them a favor.

Is it worth it for the man of God to learn game if he only wants a devout Christian wife? No. There could be exceptions if you have an exceedingly awkward personality, a lack of basic masculinity, or diagnosed autism, but the right girl for you should not need you to apply game on her to remain devoted, and if you do need to run game on her, you will always need to run game on her, even after the divorce when you want to see your children on the weekend. You’ll need to be the permanent clown. If she doesn’t see you as a man given to her by God, my advice is to forget her. You want a girl who has rejected the players, and rewarded only the man who has Jesus Christ in his heart, and if this outcome is too rosy with you then good luck marrying a worldly woman who is in constant need of erotica and dopamine stimulation.

You may be thinking: “Well it’s easy for you to advise not to learn game, Roosh, since you already have it.” And what do I now use it for? I no longer meet women like I advised in the past. I do retain the ability to read a woman’s body language at a level above that of an average man, but I can read the body language of men too, so I can’t even tell you that game itself was the source of this benefit. Understand that I don’t want to use game at all, especially on a woman whom I would consider a wife, for it would just reaffirm that she has no faith in God to pick a spouse who is putting on a clown act. She would be using deceptive feelings and emotions to guide her judgment for what will certainly be the wrong choice.

Conclusion

I spent over fifteen years mastering game to come to the conclusion that I don’t want to use it and that I don’t want a girl who is so easily susceptible to it. All that lost time is the price I must pay for going down the wrong road for so long, but I hope my example can prevent other men from wasting even 1% of the time I have.

It’s fine to take the red pill, build your physical strength, mature into an adult man, become capable in social situations, and learn the warning signs of a bad woman, but you don’t need to use Tinder or approach women in the bar or the coffee shop. You don’t need to know pickup lines and tricks, and you don’t need to go on dates with a multitude of fallen women. When God places the right woman before you, trust in Him to move your lips. Let Him share with you the game that He wants you to do, and for that you’ll be better off than trying to learn a secular game that will only put you closer to the wrong woman. It turns out that my past game teachings are useless on a woman who is walking with Christ in a similar way that I am. From this point on, only God game will suffice.

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How I Turned To God

The following is a brief testimony of how I came to God. A more detailed version can be found in my speech, What I Learned About Life.

Many people are surprised that I have become such a fervent believer in God, and to that I say, “You’re not the only one.” In high school, I confidently declared myself an atheist after learning about the theory of evolution. I studied microbiology in university and then embarked on a scientific career that lasted six years, supplanted by a second career dedicated around fornication. How could a man who was so far from God come to have complete trust in Him practically overnight?

The emptiness of worldly life

Photo credit: Xposurephotos

As the years went on as a full-time fornicator, my spiritual belief slowly moved from atheism to agnosticism, thanks to studying Eastern philosophies such as Tao, which explained how we were one with the “source,” a sort of proto-god with no name. Once I accepted that we were all connected to the source, mostly due to the persuasive lectures of Alan Watts and Osho, it wasn’t a big step to believe that there was a god at the center of it, or at least a force that was god-like. I would soon interchange words like source, God, universe, and mother nature in my public speech.

Eastern philosophies were helpful, but I still wondered why I was experiencing such a lack of meaning at the peak of my hedonistic efforts. I turned to the Bible, beginning with the Old Testament. I thought that a straight-through reading would provide me with answers, solve all my existential problems, and make life easier, for I was ready to believe, but my mind, trained in the ways of modern “logic,” could simply not accept the Bible’s miracles and visions. Instead, I gravitated towards resources that debunked the Bible as “flawed,” “contradictory,” and “corrupted” by man through bad translations. I finished the Old Testament, read the four Gospels of the New Testament, and thus concluded my spiritual inquiry.

I did enjoy the Books of Job and Ecclesiastes, but only in a secular sense. No faith blossomed. I still had the same problem: my life was centered around hedonistic acts that were eating at me. For too long I had structured my existence to receive bursts of pleasure from fornication, but I was becoming more lost and atomized as a result. Upping the dose of fornication with more exotic women did not solve the problem. My Eastern studies taught me the fruitlessness of desire and feeding the ego, but I saw these teachings as only an advanced form of individualism. They merely helped me navigate a material world where I was at the center, as if I were my own god. In fact, many Eastern gurus claim that you are your own god. Even Osho has said that you could “become like a god” in this world all on your own.

I started to tamper down my pursuits of women, because the reward was becoming so small, but I had nothing to replace it with. On many weekend nights, I went out to the clubs not because I needed a woman but because I needed material for my blog. It struck me that I was getting dissatisfied with hedonism when I had been so sure of it, or at least sure enough to roam the world for it. What else have I been wrong about?

At around the same time, I started perceiving an increase in the evil around me. I wasn’t the epitome of good, but even I had a limit to immorality. I would fornicate as much as possible, but I couldn’t accept abortion, the globalist agenda of destroying individual nations with third-world immigration, and homosexuality. You could argue that my vehemence against a fornicating homosexual was a way to relieve my own guilt of fornicating with women, since we were both behaving in a similarly sterile way that viewed sex as recreation, but it was clear to me that the “love is love” campaigns were intermediary steps towards something more sinister—the grooming and molestation of children. My fornication was the end goal, and a faulty one at that, but developments like Drag Queen Story Time show that one of the gay establishment’s principal aims is converting children to their lifestyle.

There were four moments that served as indicators to me that evil in the world was indeed deepening.

1. White House lit up with gay rainbow (June 2015)

Why was the government supporting sodomy, which is responsible for spreading HIV and all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases? Since when did homosexuality become the state ideology?

2. “Caitlyn” Jenner winning the Arthur Ashe Courage award at the ESPYs (July 2015)

I did a lecture in New York City and went to a bar with the attendees afterwards. On a television screen, I watched Caitlyn Jenner receive an award from ESPN for her courage in wearing makeup and women’s clothes. This occurred just a few months after he appeared on a sympathetic interview with Diane Sawyer. The elites were clearly behind pushing the newest degeneracy, transsexualism.

3. The rumor that Will Smith is gay (March 2016)

I stumbled upon a video from an individual named “Black Child” that explained how Will Smith is actually gay and most of Hollywood is one big Satanic cult. Sites like Vigilant Citizen added further evidence that Hollywood celebrities and even politicians are actually controlled slaves (often in the sexual sense) who are doing the bidding of their masters in exchange for money and fame. It’s one thing to submit to the casting couch for movie roles, but it was clear that many participants worshipped various demons, whose symbols are frequently displayed in music videos and advertisements.

At the time I may not have believed in the One God, but people who had massive success and power believed in demons, were praying to those demons, and then were showing demonic symbols in mass-produced media, all at the same time that I was seeing a clear increase of evil in society. If there is true evil then there must also be true good, because evil cannot exist unless there is a good to oppose it. Was there any force that the establishment hated, and seemed determined to destroy, and which represented true good? Yes, Jesus Christ. I started asking questions about why Christ was so hated by people high up the power ladder, and soon I learned that a disproportionate number of those people seemed to have the same religio-ethnic composition as those who killed Christ.

4. National Geographic magazine puts transsexual child on cover (January 2017)

As expected, the evil was now spreading to children, who were being groomed publicly at gay pride marches and events. Some were adopted into homosexual households and then—we must presume—molested. Information revealed through Pizzagate, Jeffrey Epstein, the Finders cult, and other exposés were hinting that pedophilia was institutionalized. In the case of National Geographic, a publication that is supposed to feature beautiful nature photographs was actually promoting the hormonal destruction of children, which opens the doors for them to be sexually abused.

I began to see all major institutions as a connected organism working in lockstep for the final goal of destroying society. We can attempt to find reasons for that destruction, such as an effort by the oligarchs to maintain permanent rule over a weakened population, or an effort by a certain tribe to cement their position as enemy of the human race, all while enriching themselves, but I believe it comes down to the basic fight of good against evil. Evil does not need a reason to do evil; it will do so for its sake alone.

An unexpected loss

With the failure of designing my own lifestyle, and watching the level of evil rise in society, I was now in a desperate state of seeking. I wanted to figure out not only the correct way to live, but also why society was degrading so quickly. My mind was dominated by these thoughts and questions as my sister battled breast cancer upon her diagnosis in the fall of 2015. She fought the disease for two and a half years and died in March of 2018.

My years sleeping around and traveling the world, and the “strength” I thought I built up while doing so, didn’t come close to preparing me for her death. I had no knowledge or belief that could put the loss in perspective. Nothing in the secular society I was a part of could help me. The gains from my worldly experiences could not bring my sister back or allow me to bear the pain. My superior thoughts and logic could not help guide me to safety. I had believed I was powerful due to my “masculinity,” hard-earned from international travels and numerous sexual encounters, most of which I had forgotten, but it was all a delusion.

For many months, I felt that continuing with my life as before was fruitless. Nothing seemed to matter. I drank every day. I took every black pill I could get my hands on. I could keep it together around friends or in public, but it was all for appearances—many nights I wished to die. I was scared to stand close to the edge of balconies for fear I would spontaneously jump. I busied myself with meaningless work to distract from the pain. I would just suffer alone, and watch helplessly as others suffered, until my time was over.

The gift of faith

And then, eleven months after my sister’s death, I felt the urge to pray. I didn’t take it seriously at first, but the feeling persisted, one that I had never felt before. After fumbling with this urge for several weeks, I went on Google and found a web site that taught me how to pray. Very quickly into my first prayer, tears began streaming down my face, and the next day, I felt that a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I didn’t have to drink to numb the pain. Soon, I wouldn’t have to do a lot of the things I used to do to numb the pain, not only from my sister’s death, but also from being in a state of spiritual death thanks to my addiction to the pleasures of this world.

There were two little accidents that were important in my turn towards faith. The first was my baptism in an Armenian Orthodox church at the age of 9. My mother never forced me to go to church, but she did force me to get baptized. Thirty years later, it was a simple matter to go right back to the same church as the same spiritual child.

The second accident was reading Darwinian Fairytales by David Stove in early 2015. As a trained scientist, the biggest blockage I had for turning to God was the supposed infallibility of evolution. We were not created by God, I believed, but evolved over billions of years from a primordial soup that randomly developed consciousness. Stove’s book poked so many holes into my faith of evolution that I could intellectually and rationally discard it as the main theory for explaining how humans were created. There are evolutionary aspects to how God maintains the natural world, but evolution was not our creator. In fact, I only had to look at my own behavior to realize that there was nothing evolutionary about my sterile pursuit of fornication, which I claimed to base on “biology.” Once this key blockage was removed, the gate to Heaven was open.

I thought most people found God through the Bible, that you just had to read it once and then you’d have faith, but this is not the case. I needed to witness the growth of evil around me and I needed to experience a loss that I couldn’t explain, understand, or solve, a loss that would shatter my delusions and reveal the true state of my wretchedness. Only then could I set aside my pride and stop seeing myself as my own god that had everything figured out. Only then could I humble myself before God and beg him for help. And then God gave me the best gift of my life—the gift of faith. Since prostrating myself before Him, I have been given new eyes, new ears, and a new heart that I can now use in this new life. Thank you, Lord, for this gift.

The above was a brief summary of how I came to God. The more detailed version can be found in my speech, What I Learned About Life. Click here to learn more.

Read Next: Eulogy

8 Personal Defects That Allowed Me To Worship Fornication For 18 Years

Last year I released a new edition of The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1, a compilation of 87 articles I published between 2006 and 2013, during the stretch of time I was most committed to a lifestyle of fornication. While re-editing these articles in 2019, I noticed eight blindspots, flaws, and rationalizations that allowed me to perform behaviors that were causing me great self-harm. Here they are…

1. I was frustrated and full of angst

I’m struck by how angry I was, not only at women but also at “beta males” for valuing women beyond the sexual. Where did this anger come from? Why was I was so mean during the time I was extracting the most from the world (in terms of sex and novelty)?

First, I was projecting anger outwardly as a way to relieve the guilt and meaningless of casual sex. I was participating in exceedingly shallow behavior that had no moral justification, so my attacks against others were a way to relieve my own condemnation. The more shallow my actions, the more I had to step up my attacks against those around me.

Second, I simply wasn’t receiving joy from my efforts, regardless of the quantity or quality of women I was sleeping with. My ego was being rewarded, and I was also earning money from the sex guides I was writing, which allowed me to continue funding my worldwide fornication efforts, but none of it was leading to contentment. It was not even leading to short-term contentment because I was adapting to casual sex as time went on. The first time you try coffee, you feel a noticeable energy boost, but if you drink coffee daily, you long ago stopped feeling the kick, and instead drink it to avoid a negative (fatigue). I was engaging in casual sex simply to avoid a negative, of feeling like a “loser” or experiencing pleasure withdrawal, instead of gaining a positive.

2. I wanted more than my fair share

When someone is born, God ensures that they receive as much food, shelter, and material comfort as necessary for their salvation, as long as they follow His rules. I didn’t know about His rules nor did I care to find out. Instead, I wanted to throw away the generous plate of food set before me at the dinner table for the plates of other men. I wanted their notch counts and caliber of women, their travel experiences, their fame, and their passive internet income, and then when I got all of that, I thought I would be able to see myself as a superior man, when in actuality my “gains” were losses. When I did make it in the material sense, I saw myself as some kind of lion, the king of the jungle, when I was just one of numerous hyena chewing on a leftover corpse.

I was also extractive. I wanted to remove value from the world at the same time I attacked others for being extractive themselves. I would try to use a woman’s body for sex and then whine like a baby if she used me for a $10 cocktail. I would erupt in anger if a woman dared to have a 30-minute conversation with me when she didn’t have any intention of giving sex. I now sit at the dinner table and bless the food that is intended for me. I do not look at what is on the plates of other men.

3. I made a false idol out of the vagina

The vagina was my god. I uprooted myself from my family, traveled around the world, and shaped my inner being to access as much of it as I could, all to feel its pleasure and validation. I am embarrassed to admit how many thousands of hours I wasted pursuing the female flesh, with barely any consideration of the human attached to it. One only needs to look at a listing of the books I unpublished to see how heavily I worshipped the vagina.

Ironically, I thought I was a master of the vagina. Through my game, I believed that I was a modern hypnotist, a keymaster of the flesh. Instead, I was its slave. I toiled ceaselessly for a few minutes of genital rubbing, and since that was hardly commensurate to the effort I was expending, I became a fornication guru to sweeten the deal. All that wasted time, lost forever.

I would receive a lot of comments during this time that said I was a “pussy beggar” or “desperate.” While many of these comments were uttered in ill will, there was some truth to them. I didn’t beg with my hand out, but I begged through my dedication of time and mental energy.

4. I thought fornication was “evolutionary”

No matter how immoral your behavior is, you still need to find a justification so you can look at the mirror and see yourself as a “good” person. Therefore, you must lie to yourself. I rationalized that my grotesque behavior was actually evolutionary because I intended to spread my seed far and wide and impregnate countless women. There was only one problem with that justification: I wasn’t impregnating any women.

There are men who have only slept with one woman, and have created a big family with her. I have slept with countless more, and have impregnated none. Even if the theory of evolution to create new species was the truth, which it is not, I still failed. Instead, I ejaculated into latex condoms and sterile women on birth control, and I remember at least two women who took the morning-after pill after having sex with me. Paradoxically, when you are fornicating with bad women, the last thing you wish for is impregnation, and I’ve lost count how many friends came to me in a panic that they may have done so.

Even if a man is impregnating multiple women, how will he raise all those children? It’s clear he won’t, and because those children do not have a father in the home, they will end up as criminals, sodomites, or drug addicts of the future. They will participate in the same kind of immoral behavior that their absent father did with the mother.

5. I thought fornication was the end-all-be-all of male existence

Whatever you lacked in boyhood or early adolescence will become your idol later in life. If you grew up poor, you go on to cherish money. If you were a late bloomer like me who received practically no sexual attention as a teenager, you go on to cherish sex. In my case, I thought there could be no higher achievement or experience than sex, and that it was an even greater good than love. Once I clearly felt the downsides from my pursuit of sex, and it took my entire adult life for that to happen, the spell was lifted and I came to see sex with a woman I didn’t care for as a step below masturbation because of the drama it inevitably caused.

It turns out that pursuing sex so vigorously was actually the source of my problems instead of the solution. My anger, frustration, malaise, and existential dread bloomed from my sexual activities. Those problems are now almost entirely gone. It tends to be the case that the behavior we think will solve our problems actually creates more problems.

6. I thought I was right

I was so sure of my conclusions. There was little doubt that fornication was the correct path, and anyone who disagreed with me was either jealous, sleeping with ugly girls, or deeply misguided. People who said that my behavior was immoral or sinful wished that they could sleep with European babes like me. The men who were stuck in their boring hometowns were not strong enough to uproot themselves, travel the world, and learn foreign languages like me.

How could I have been so certain of behaviors that I now see as wrong? Because I ignored the teachings of holy men before me, I ignored my conscience, and I believed the lies and deceptions that entered my mind.

The fact that I was so wrong, when I was certain I was right, has made it impossible to trust myself today. If the behavior I’m about to embark on does not glorify God, either directly or indirectly, or is not clearly His will, there’s a chance it’s part of Satan’s plan to corrupt me and those around me.

7. I thought that things in the physical world could make me happy

I believed that I could be a happier person from accumulating material. More sex, more money, more fame, and more status would elevate my base level of happiness, but that didn’t happen. Because my lifestyle was the disease, the opposite occurred. More bangs meant more feelings of meaninglessness. More money meant more anxiety from losing it, or anxiety from not using it in a way that increased my stature. More fame and status meant more fear of losing my level of popularity, attention, or worldly respect.

I can’t stress how every attempt to solve a life problem had the opposite intended effect, and from all that materialistic chasing, the only two things that have made life worth living in the present is the love of my family and my relationship with God. Anything else I’ve pursued was an empty distraction.

8. I listened to hip-hop music to help me get in the sex mood

In my older writing, I used a lot of slang that is more commonly used in urban America. I had listened to hip hop music and came to believe in the message that sex and money were the most logical goals for a man to pursue. In fact, to get me pumped up for a night of pursuing fornication, I would listen to hip hop songs such as this one:

The purpose of this song is to glorify sin, and I find it difficult to watch today because of the nonstop Satanic imagery. I eventually moved on to music with a more broody style from the likes of The Weeknd, which valued women, drugs, and fame above all else. I now see hip hop music as a means to convince men that having no self-control over their lust is somehow masculine.

Conclusion

Last year I was hesitant to put out a new edition of The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1 because of how vulgar it was, but I had gotten so used to ignoring my conscience that I proceeded. I should have listened to it, because six months later I ended up unpublishing the book anyway. I no longer recognize the man who wrote all those words. Nonetheless of what I’ve done in the past, it served a purpose to get me to the present, and for that I am grateful.

Read Next: Casual Sex Creates Guilt

I Have Unpublished Game And The Rest Of My Pickup Books

In May of last year I unpublished 11 of my books because they were leading men directly to sin. That action was not enough. Today I have unpublished several more books, including my top seller Game, along with numerous articles, videos, podcasts, and forum postings.

The prospect of banning Game last May was too difficult, even though my conscience was bothered by the contents. I wrestled with the issue for a week as I closed out my final days as an expat in Eastern Europe. It made sense to ban all my Bang books, which explicitly instructed men how to have casual sex, and it wasn’t that hard on my wallet since they were older books that had passed their sales peak, but if I were to ban Game as well, my income would be wiped out. I prayed on the issue, asking God to help me make the right decision. Then I received two comments in one day from men stating that Game had helped them with married life. I also did a poll showing not all men were using Game to become accomplished fornicators. My conscience felt more clear; Game could remain.

During my lecture tour, dozens of men asked me to sign their copies of Game. They said it helped them with women, though not necessarily within the confines of marriage. I reasoned with myself that Game was an agnostic tool which men could use for good or evil, and that it wasn’t inherently evil. Towards the end of my tour, a Christian man said he read Game with “heavy discernment,” a hint that it wasn’t as agnostic as I wanted to believe, but outside of the ticket sales from the tour, which was soon to end, Game was my main source of income. If I were to unpublish it, what would I do for money during the several years it would take to release new books?

One month after the tour finished, I bought a used truck and was getting ready to rent a house in the mountains. I wasn’t too worried about money, since Game was still selling well without any active promotion on my part. Then I received a message from a fellow Orthodox Christian that I had met in California saying he had just read Game, and noticed that it contained the same type of sexual content I had aggressively banned on the forum last year. I walked to my bookshelf, pulled out a copy of Game, and randomly flipped through it, expecting an “agnostic” tool, but I could not find a page where sin was not. The book wasn’t agnostic at all—it trained and steered men for the main purpose of achieving bodily pleasure through casual sex. In some ways, it even wired men’s brains to view women as objects to be won purely through knowledge, effort, and physical attractiveness. Even my book Day Bang, which has no sexual content, trained men to see women as objects to be won for pleasurable ends through the mathematics of approaching a lot of women in the hopes of finding one who was horny and loose. When faced with a hard life decision, I would pray for guidance, but this decision was easy: the books had to go.

Effectively immediately, I will no longer sell the following:

  • Game
  • Day Bang
  • The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1
  • Poosy Paradise
  • 30 Bangs

I have also deleted countless articles (both here and on Return Of Kings), YouTube videos, and podcasts that aimed to teach a man how to participate in a behavior that could sacrifice his salvation. I also deleted work that was just plain vulgar. Lastly, I removed the Game and Travel subforums from Roosh V Forum. By taking these actions, I want to impede or halt the spiritual damage that my work was doing.

Didn’t you spend hundreds of hours writing Game, releasing it less than two years ago? Yes. Didn’t you spend thousands of hours writing all the books and articles you no longer profit from, and are now ashamed of? Yes. Won’t this cause your income to drop so low that you will have to depend on savings for an indeterminable amount of time? Yes. Yet I lament more the colossal amount of time I wasted on these works than monies lost.

Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? —Mark 8:34-37

It’s worth noting how patient God was by not compelling me to complete a change I couldn’t handle. The first round of book unpublishing felt exceedingly stressful, and I wrestled with the issue for many days. God saw my distress and allowed my conscience to remain clear upon banning only some of the books, which still fell short of His expectations. He let me complete the tour with no worries about where my future income would come from. Once the tour was completed, and I rested for a month, he deemed me ready for the next step. He enlightened a fellow Christian to help re-activate my conscience, and then allowed me to complete the job of removing the rest of my books when I was spiritually stronger and more able to handle the prospect of not earning a sufficient income. This time around, I was only mildly afflicted for one night before becoming overjoyed at the prospect of making an honest living. I’m happy to announce my retirement as a peddler of sex.

I will have to make some adjustments on how I live. For many years my income exceeded my expenses and I got used to spending money on things I didn’t need. I accumulated material possessions—even while traveling—and stopped valuing the dollar. I will have to become a better custodian of the things I own. I will have to learn how not to be a consumer, and to only consume that which is spiritually profitable. I’m lucky I don’t have to start completely from scratch—I do have active internet platforms that are well-developed, and a small library of my works remain, but this is a challenge I did not imagine I’d have to face at forty years of age. Nonetheless, it’s the challenge I have to face, and I pray that God guides me through it.

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WATCH NOW: What I’ve Learned About Life (2019 Speech)

In the summer of 2019, I embarked on a trip throughout the entire United States to deliver a speech in 23 American cities. In that speech, I shared 11 lessons concerning masculinity, relationships, work, human nature, grief, family, and spirituality that have revealed the truth to me upon turning 40 years of age. The lessons I’ve learned have allowed me to embrace wisdom, contentment, and faith during these difficult days of clown world.

The 2 hour 27 minute speech I gave in Nashville, Tennessee on November 16, 2019 has been preserved for you to watch or listen from the comfort of your living pod in downloadable video (MP4) and podcast (MP3) formats. You can also stream it online without the need for download. The speech is yours to own, and can be accessed on unlimited devices.

Watch or listen to my speech

The speech video and podcast package costs only $6.99 $4.99 during launch week. After submitting your payment with a credit card, you’ll immediately have access to the speech…

If you attended the speech live, you were already emailed a copy of the speech (check your spam folder if you don’t see it).

Head over to Roosh V Store to see all the books that I have available for sale. Contact me directly if you need help with your order.

I look forward to getting back to work after finding a permanent place to live in the United States. As always, thank you for the support.

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