Before I share my proposals for a possible presidential run, which I’m exploring with a team of dedicated advisors, let me get something important out of the way: America is dying. We have neglected the gifts that industrious and moral men of the past have given us, and are now stuck with a clown country where we suffer daily humiliations and degradations at the hands of sodomites, man-jawed feminists, pedophiles, cuckolds, and aliens.
My proposals below will neutralize those parasites and provide you with the most amount of satisfaction and fulfillment before your physical body leaves clown world and transmutates into your final spiritual form that is presided over by God. I may not be the clown you deserve, but I am the clown you need.
Here are six proposals…
1. Roosh Bucks: $2,000 monthly bag for male citizens only
I agree with candidate Andrew Yang that robots and artificial intelligence will put nearly everyone out of work except females with Instagram followers from Dubai. I will implement a Male Basic Income (MBI) plan where a bag of $2,000 is given every month to all citizens over 18 years of age who were born with a penis. Males can use their bags to enjoy the last decades of Western civilization and also to prep for inevitable societal collapse.
Women will not get this bag because they are already “strong and independent” and don’t need further state assistance. They are correct that men have “fragile masculinity,” so we’re taking the entire bag. If women want Roosh Bucks, they have to submit to a man and allow him to spend his bag on her. Otherwise, they can work in an office with moldy air conditioning for the rest of their lives. Roosh Bucks helps give men a solid edge in household income, allowing them to be patriarchs once again. No woman comes to Roosh Bucks except through men.
Sodomites will not receive Roosh Bucks, though they are eligible to receive free diseases from their anal-obsessed lifestyle. Facial recognition software will identify all sodomites through recordings of gay pride marches and other classified sources. Heterosexuality will be financially enforced by the state.
Where I differ with Andrew Yang is how the bag will be funded. He wants to implement a VAT tax, but I find this unacceptable. Below are three methods that will fund Roosh Bucks. I have confirmed that they will provide sufficient funding by using my smartphone’s calculator app.
a) Globohomo Wealth Confiscation
“Charity”
I will confiscate all wealth over $100 million that is possessed by an individual, family, or “philanthropic” foundation, whether it is held in money, gold, cryptocurrency, real estate, securities, or any other monetizable vehicle. The confiscated funds will be put in the Roosh Bucks piggy bank.
Many of you will say that it’s “anti-capitalistic,” “un-American,” or “socialist” to confiscate a man’s wealth above $100 million, but there is no reason for a man or non-corporate entity to have that much money when nearly half of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and have not seen a real wage increase since the 1970s. I also don’t remember the founders of the United States saying that it is “American” for one man to have 25,000 times the net worth of the average worker’s yearly salary.
Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, George Soros, and many other billionaires will all go back to being one-hundred millionaires as long as the bulk of their business and social activity takes place in the United States. That leaves them plenty enough money for penthouses, yachts, and high-class whores, but not enough to subvert society with a globohomo agenda.
You may think that these billionaires will simply take their wealth elsewhere. This will not happen under my presidency. I will leverage existing extradition treaties with other nations and U.S. Treasury Department financial sanction networks to make sure that evaders are imprisoned until their money is confiscated. If an American man can knock up a bar girl in the Philippines and be forced by the U.S. government to pay child support, which is currently the case, confiscating billions of dollars from globalist jet setters will be as simple as apple pie.
As a last resort, I will imprison in Federal jail all the relatives and intimate partners of persistent wealth-evaders. If Mark Zuckerberg thinks he can evade confiscation of his billions, I will imprison his entire family in solitary confinement until he pays up. There will be no more offshore or Irish loopholes to avoid the confiscation. Under my plan, the days of using excess capital as a means of spreading cultural AIDS is over.
b) Selfie Tax
That’ll be $25, ma’am
There will be $25 prepaid tax on every unique image or video you upload on an internet platform (public or private) that contains a direct or indirect likeness to yourself. For example, if a girl uploads a selfie of herself on Instagram and Facebook, she will have to enter a code showing she has paid $50 in selfie tax. If a man does a live stream on YouTube that is promoted with a thumbnail of himself, he will have to pay $50 as well. If a woman uploads five photos to her Tinder profile, she must pay $250. You’ll also have to pay if someone else uploads an image of you on your behalf (e.g. your social media coordinator or beta orbiter slave).
The selfie tax will end attention-whoring and make women think long and hard about feeding their ego online instead of feeding a good man a nicely-cooked steak dinner. The e-thot economy would crash overnight. People would begin to crave face-to-face interactions instead of craving the attention of an anonymous audience online in the hopes of becoming famous. Judging by the three pictures in this article that contain my likeness, it would have cost me $75 in selfie tax to publish them.
c) Abortion and Birth Control Tax
Women will be allowed to continue their sterile and murderous lifestyles, but at a price. There will be a $15,000 tax levied for each abortion and a $5 tax for each birth control pill. Other sterilization chemicals will be taxed at a rate of no less than $150 a month. I will also support a law that forces abortion doctors to tell women that they are going to hell if they proceed with their abortion. While I find it disagreeable to put a price on an aborted fetus via a one-time tax, it will serve as a lesson to women who see raising babies as a monetary problem.
By placing such a high financial barrier on abortion, which normally costs less than $1,000 in a Planned Barrenhood clinic, women will begin to limit their casual sex activity. In the long run, I expect degeneracy to decline and more nuclear families to be formed. We must raise barriers to whoredom.
2. State-Sponsored Foreign Girlfriend
The second feature of my platform is that men will be given a foreign girlfriend from a poor country through a match algorithm, because American women are beyond the point of rehabilitation. All foreign females between the ages of 18-25 who want to live in the United States will be assigned a score of 1-100 based on her beauty, weight, fertility, weight, age, weight, and basic literacy. Citizen men will also be scored from 1-100 based on their work ethic, employment potential, age, religious faith, and financial stability (i.e. if he’s responsible with his Roosh Bucks). Not every man will get a pretty woman, but they will be able to experience love and family without worrying about having six-pack abs or smooth game.
The match algorithm will also take into consideration factors that lead to fertility and societal harmony. Women will always be younger than their male matches, and when it comes to race, men will be matched up to women of the same race to prevent spawning mixed-race individuals who are prone to projecting their lack of identity through destructive behaviors and leftist activism. Men who want to mix races will have to accept a female with a lower score. For example, a white man with a score of 60 out of 100 would match with an Eastern European woman who has the same score. If he wants an Ethiopian woman instead, he will have to suffer a 25% race-mix penalty in her score, meaning that the African he’s matched with will have a score of 45.
Service guarantees citizenship: a foreign woman will have legal residency as long as she is in a relationship with her male citizen match, and she will become a legal citizen upon marriage. If the woman subsequently initiates a divorce, she’s immediately deported back to her home country. If the man initiates divorce, she will be recycled back into the program and given to another man (if she’s infertile due to advanced age, she can match with an elderly man as a comfort woman).
Men who don’t want a girlfriend, or who are happy with their existing girlfriend, will see no change in their Roosh Bucks allotment, but any man who marries will get double the bucks. Family will be incentivized under my presidency: you will also get an extra $500 Roosh Bucks per child. Paternity testing will be mandatory to ensure that you are indeed the father.
I understand that relationships fail. Therefore, a man is allowed one girlfriend placement every three years, but he will suffer a 10% match penalty for every subsequent placement. This is to discourage men from pumping and dumping their lovely foreign girlfriends.
3. Ban On All Male Immigrants
The last thing America needs is more male immigrants. If an immigrant is already legal, he will be allowed to stay, but all illegals will be deported using Deportation Squads Of Love And Caring. I will order the Feds to go door-to-door, starting in California, and remove anyone who doesn’t have proof of legal residency. Women who are in the process of being deported will have the option of participating in the State-Sponsored Foreign Girlfriend program if they are of normal weight. If they are heavyset, they will have four weeks to slim down, or they will also be deported. We don’t have enough money to treat their future diabetes and heart disease.
There will also be a moratorium on all legal immigration that is not part of the State-Sponsored Foreign Girlfriend program. This includes H1B-type visas and even tourists. Sorry, but we’re full. A household in disarray has to deal with its own problems first before allowing visitors.
4. Renewal Of God’s Spirit
It is clear that Protestant Christianity in most forms has strayed from the teachings of Christ, and has actually paved the way for alien control of the United States through the mechanism of social justice, Cultural Marxism, and plain old evil. I will therefore decree Orthodox Christianity as the official religion of the country. I will make Federal funds rain down on Orthodox churches and foundations that stay true to the word of Christ.
While many non-religious men may groan as this policy, fact is that a healthy society which strives towards moral belief and behavior is not possible in practice without religion. Through Orthodox Christianity, we will implement rigid social control that promotes healthy behavior and relationships. Sodomy will no longer be promoted and glorified, including anal or oral sex between heterosexuals. To encourage heathens to savor their skin in the game, men who declare themselves as atheist or non-Christian will have a monthly bag with 50% of the Roosh Bucks ($1,000). The United States was founded as a Christian nation and it will stay that way.
In addition, all divorces, whether with a domestic or foreign woman, must be granted by an Orthodox priest who believes that the couple’s differences are truly irreconcilable. If a priest does not sanction a divorce that the husband initiated, he will lose his Roosh Bucks. If an unsanctioned divorce was initiated by the woman, she will receive absolutely no assets or financial support.
5. Termination Of Relationship With Israel
Israel will be cut off financially and militarily. No more fighting their neverending wars in the Middle East. We have given them enough money and technology (e.g. nuclear bombs) that they can lift themselves up by their own bootstraps. For the money we save from cutting off financial aid, we will have enough to build three concrete walls. One wall on the southern border will block out the aggressive migrant horde and a second even-taller wall behind it will be a tourist attraction for Americans to witness the glory that is the first wall.
The third wall will be on the border with Canada. Because I expect that country to descend into chaos, we need a way to keep them out, though Canadian women with slim figures are more than encouraged to apply for girlfriend placement with an American man. However, Canadian women with green, blue, or purple hair will be automatically rejected.
6. Ban On Usury
Companies and individuals will no longer be able to lend money at interest. I will give banks and other financial organizations two years to adjust to the new law.
All Aboard The Roosh Caboose!
The Roosh2020 exploratory committee (i.e. my drinking buddies) is working hard right now to see if I have a shot at becoming President of the United States based on the above platform. My policies benefit women by severing their dysfunctional relationships with daddy government and the internet. It benefits men by providing a cash bag that allows them to start a family with Jesus Christ as their wingman, which is far more healthy than the atomized, rootless, and sexually frustrated lives that many have today. And it benefits the entire country by blocking our current descent into hell that is becoming more agonizing and intolerable by the month.
We may not be able to return to the glory days of America, but with the ideas above, we can surely make things significantly better than they are today.
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