All posts by Roosh

Eulogy

The following is an adaptation of the eulogy I gave at my sister’s funeral service. She died of cancer in March 2018.

She was my only sister, born seven years after me. I never imagined I would have to one day stand here and give her eulogy. A few days before she died, I told her that she has to get better to one day take care of me, and that I would get sick on purpose and even make her wipe my butt. She would usually laugh when I made a joke like that, but now she could barely manage a smile. The morphine and fentanyl were taking away her mind. She was no longer herself.

You may be in a state of shock as to what happened because she probably seemed normal to you when you last saw her. I want to be honest and explain what the cancer did to her.

She was diagnosed with stage 2b triple negative breast cancer in October of 2015. Stage two means that cancer cells escaped from the site of the initial tumor and made their way into nearby lymph nodes. I live in Europe, so after she was diagnosed, I came back to help her with treatment. I was with her for most of everything the doctors advised: chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation. I did my own research and verified that she was getting the best treatment that modern medicine allowed. She was going to get better. The cancer would go away.

Chemotherapy was the hardest for her. Imagine a volcano that activates deep within your body but refuses to erupt through the surface. It caused far more pain than the tumor itself. There was no shortage of cheerleaders in the doctors’ offices and the support groups that told her to be strong and never give up. This was only temporary, they said, a mere speed bump of what would be a long and fulfilling life. She took it to heart and endured months of medical torture, more than I believe I could handle myself.

Once her treatments were done, I went back to Europe and believed she would go back to living as she had before, but one thing they don’t tell you about cancer is the terrible, constant anxiety you face while in remission. A random headache was brain cancer. A stomach cramp was cancer of the gut. Fatigue was blood cancer. Her doctors wanted to put her on anti-anxiety medicine, because any problem to them can be hammered away with drugs or surgery, but instead I talked her down from many of the panic attacks she experienced, all of which I was sure were false alarms.

During these panic attacks, I was careful to not say that the cancer didn’t return, because how could I know for sure? So many people told her she’d be okay, and the cancer would never come back, but how could they know? They were just saying words, building her up as a “cancer survivor,” but cancer always comes back, and in her case, I don’t think it ever left her.

In January of this year (2018), she contracted the flu. The flu turned into bronchitis. Then it turned into bilateral pneumonia. They say that on an x-ray lung cancer and pneumonia look the same, so one month was lost pumping her with antibiotics when the symptoms were caused by cancer cells that relocated from her breast to her lung. I was walking to my favorite French café on a Saturday evening when I got a call from her. The results of her lung biopsy came in.

“It’s cancer,” she said.

“Are you joking?” I replied, not wanting to believe her.

“No.”

We cried together. I told her that I’d be with her to fight this just like before, and she wouldn’t be alone. I booked a flight that night. Four days later I was back home. She was already on round-the-clock oxygen, fed through a nasal prong. Her coughing was continuous. She couldn’t lay on her back or else she would feel shortness of breath. She didn’t sleep for more than three hours a night. I knew she was experiencing bad lung symptoms for the previous six weeks or so, but when I saw how bad she was, I couldn’t believe it. I just saw her a couple of months ago, and she was fine.

The worst was the pain in her chest. She said it felt like a tight squeezing, as if her heart was about to stop. One night, we swapped out her oxycontin for another pain medicine that we were told could manage her pain better, but it didn’t work. She howled for hours until it was safe enough to resume the oxycontin again. My little sister was suffering, and all I could do was watch.

We received a new treatment plan from the doctors: eighteen weeks of chemotherapy and three weeks of radiation. Both were to start at the same time. I liked the plan because it was aggressive. We were going to go after this cancer and put it on the defense, but I couldn’t help but notice the word “palliative” on the medical consent forms she signed. I knew it was a form of care that aims for comfort instead of a cure.

Nonetheless, I wasn’t discouraged. There were many stories of people with advanced cancer who survived many years, and not once in her dozens of doctor appointments did I hear the words “death” or “dying.” Everyone knows that we all die, and you know that one day you will die, but we don’t really believe it. Death is something that happens to other people, not us, and not to your kid sister.

Her condition declined so steadily that every day I came to expect a new function or ability that she would lose. I bought a wheelchair because it became too difficult for her to walk, and being her annoying older brother, I wheeled her at a fast speed to give her an adrenaline rush. One time I tried to wheel her over grass, but we got stuck and I accidentally dumped her on the ground. She forgave me, which was easy to do because I tormented her much worse when she was younger and I used to rip off the heads of her Barbie dolls for fun.

She completed her first few days of treatment and then Friday came. She had serious difficulty making it to the car for the trip to the doctor’s office. She saw black in her vision and had to pause for minutes when performing the most basic of movements that I take for granted every day. I was still determined to complete the last radiation session of the week because I knew that without treatment, she wouldn’t make it, and I didn’t want her to die.

I pushed her to try just a little harder, and we made it to the doctor’s office half an hour late. She somehow managed to hold her failing body in the machine to get zapped with radiation. Then she looked at me and told me she was done. She couldn’t make it home. I called 911. While waiting for the ambulance, I called my mom to tell her what was happening, but I was so choked up that no words came out. I had to compose myself and call her again. The ambulance took her to the hospital and she was admitted to the intensive care unit.

Her decline continued in the hospital. The doctors pumped her with so many drugs that I joked with her that she was officially a medical experiment, and that when she got better, she’d appear in all the top medical journals. In addition to the oxycontin she was on, the doctors gave her a patch of fentanyl, a drug so powerful that children have died playing with their parents’ used patches. That wasn’t enough to relieve her pain, so they also put her on a continuous morphine drip.

Her physical pain faded, but at the cost of impairing her mind. She became confused and shared random memories from years ago, but even in this condition, no doctor told us that she was dying. I even used the medical word for dying, “terminal,” to ask the lead doctor if she was indeed dying. He told me that she was “getting to” the terminal phase. I had to read between the lines to know what was going on.

The biggest hint I received was when one doctor showed me side-by-side CT scans of her lungs spaced one month apart. Last month, there were little white specks, but now her lungs looked like Swiss cheese. Part of her left lung collapsed. If those were the scans of any other woman, I’d think she was in dire straits, but this was my sister. I didn’t want to accept that she was dying as much as it was staring me in the face. The doctor said, “We don’t usually treat a patient with cancer this extensive.” I told my mother and father, and we began to prepare for her death in our own ways.

They actually gave her a round of chemotherapy while she was in the hospital. “Our goal is to get her home,” the oncologist said. My dad and I were desperate to try it, thinking that it could help, but chemo takes weeks to begin working. My mother, who has watched her stepmother and sister die of cancer, was more realistic. She prayed for an end to her daughter’s suffering.

She soon needed a mask that delivered 100% pure oxygen. If I were to put that mask on you, you’d pass out quickly, but even with it on, she complained that she felt like she was suffocating. I couldn’t imagine the agony she was going through, and although she had no shortage of people by her side, she was dying alone, experiencing it alone. She grabbed my arm and said, “Brother, I’m scared!” I replied instinctively, “Don’t be scared,” but I was scared too. At that moment I would have done anything to trade places with her, to exchange my healthy body for hers, to die so that she can live. I would have made a deal with the devil if he presented himself before me, but there was no deal to be made as I helplessly watched her approach the abyss.

I couldn’t handle what was happening. Nothing in my life prepared me for this. I snuck in a bottle of scotch to the hospital and started drinking in the nearby family room. I’d sit by her bedside, break down while holding her hand, then go back in the room and drink some more. If she opened her eyes while I was beside her, I’d wipe my face and pretend everything was okay, but she wasn’t fooled, and asked me why I was crying. I kept drinking until the hospital ceiling started to spin. I passed out and my mother put a blanket over me.

The next day, the doctor said, “If she becomes unresponsive, she will likely pass in 24 hours.” I drove home to shower and get a few days’ worth of clothes. On the way back, my mom called me and said “Hurry up” before hanging up the phone. I gripped the steering wheel tight and yelled so loud, in a way that I never have before, that it didn’t at all sound like me.

I arrived at her hospital room. My mother and father were by her bedside. The pulse and blood oxygen readings on the monitor were now replaced with the word “Comfort.” She was unconscious and taking her last breaths. I could hear fluid in her lungs. I paced the room back and forth, repeating “I don’t believe it” while shaking my head. I wanted to grab the television that was hanging on the wall and throw it through the window. I wanted to destroy everything in sight. I wanted to kill myself.

I calmed down long enough to sit by her. I held her and told her that I loved her and will always love her, and that I was sorry this happened to her, and that it was okay for her to go now because it would end her suffering. The space between her breaths got longer and longer. Her limbs turned a faint purple and then her face. My beautiful sister, the most important person in my life, took her last breath. Minutes later, I swear that I could see her chest rising up and down, because there was no other way that I could see my sister other than alive, but she was gone.

I know I’m supposed to stand up here and say she didn’t suffer. I’m supposed to say that she died in peace. But that wouldn’t be the truth. She was in tremendous physical pain that had to be managed with the most powerful drugs made by man, and because the end came so unexpectantly, even for someone with cancer, she was not able to make sense of her dying.

She still had a lot of living to do, a lot of places to see, so she felt robbed that the end came so early. If you put a gun to my head right now, I’d ask you to get on with it and pull the trigger, since I’ve done everything I set out to do, but that wasn’t the case for her, and if there is anything that proves to me that life is inherently unfair, her death is it.

I wish they told us. I wish the doctors said she was dying. At least we would have spent the energy of her last days and months in a different way than fighting a futile battle to keep her alive at such a high physical and emotional cost, of repeatedly having hope after hope crushed as the cancer spread on its own schedule, regardless of what we threw at it. The doctors orchestrated a great charade that only added to her suffering.

I have to say that her death made me feel like a fool. For years I’ve been chasing women, fame, and novelty, thinking that those things would make me happy or somehow complete me when the one thing that could make me happy was so close the entire time. Instead I went to faraway lands, as far as I could, to pursue exotic pleasures and entertainment. They were fun at the time because my family was healthy, my sister was healthy, and I was healthy, but now that all seems so meaningless. I don’t even want to remember those experiences. The only thing I’m scared of is that in a few months, once the pain of her death subsides, I’ll go right back to doing all that, because I don’t know what else my life is for.

A few days before she died, the palliative nurse came by and gave us a packet with the title “My Wishes,” which was actually a funeral planning guide in disguise. It was a way for my sister to express herself in case of death, because as you can tell by now, you’re not supposed to tell someone they’re dying.

We went through the packet and got to a question that asked how you would like to be remembered after you die. I have the packet right here so I’ll read to you what she said in her morphine fog: “I want people to remember me as kind, and that I tried my best to share my love and make people happy.”

As someone who gave way more than she took, I know she will be remembered in this way. When I die, I can tell you that thousands of people will celebrate, and it’s a good thing if you don’t know why that is, but with her that wasn’t the case. She was a big-hearted person through and through, which just adds to the unfairness of it all.

I know a lot of you had crazy times with her at parties or concerts, but our relationship was simply one of steady joy. She was someone I could talk to about whatever came to mind, or I could just sit in silence with her to enjoy her presence. We could play off each other and make ourselves laugh until we cried, or have serious discussions about our lives. She was the first person I would go to when I had a bizarre experience, because I loved hearing her reaction and the jokes she could make from it. I would go to her when I was unsure about a woman, and she would give me an analysis that—in hindsight—was always right.

Before I broke up with my last girlfriend, I first cleared it with her to make sure I wasn’t being too hasty. Before any big decisions, I would always get her thoughts, as if I was launching a nuclear missile and needed her to turn her key. I would even focus group my newest jokes on her before trying them on others, because she would never judge me for being dumb. She was my best friend. She balanced my rigid and overly analytical nature. She made me see the light of things, that there is a play to life, not just the seriousness of seeking perfection and trying to figure every little thing out. She understood me more than anyone else in the world. Who will I trust more than her? Who will I tell my silly stories to now? Who will tell me that I’m going too far down the wrong road? She left me and now I don’t know what to do. Sister, where are you? Why did you leave me? I’m still here! I didn’t know that most of the happiness I experienced in my life was because you were a part of it. 

Late last night I was trying to make sense of her death. I know her well enough that I decided just to ask her what I should do, and see if a voice answered me back. I closed my eyes and remembered when she was in elementary school and I would pick her up from the bus stop every day at 3:15pm. I remembered when I took her to HFStival, her first rock concert, where I watched her carefully from the mosh pit while she sat smiling in a stadium seat. And I remembered all those chemotherapy visits, of helping her get through the toughest part of her life, where our relationship deepened to the purest love that a brother and sister could have. These film reels were playing in my mind when I asked, “What do I do now?” What came back to me was, “Remember me, take care of yourself, I love you.”

I know that life goes on, but it won’t be in the same way. Experiences I have from this point on will come with a different feeling, a different color. The sadness will reduce somewhat, but I know the emptiness will remain, and I’ll just have to make the most of life without her. My wish for you in the years to come is to remember my sister and take care of yourself, and know that if you are in this room, she did have love for you. Thank you for being a part of her life, for making her who she was, and I hope that her spirit will remain close to your heart until the end.

Previously: What To Do If Someone Close To You Gets Diagnosed With Cancer

The Rejection Of Natural Life

On the surface, it seems that living in a city is far easier than living close to nature. Proof of this is the nonstop migration of people from rural areas to urban ones. But aren’t we natural beings? Why does life seem to get easier the further from nature we go?

For the past decade, I’ve told myself that I will one day move to a farm and humbly tend to basic crops and chickens. I’ll cut my own wood and repair things with my own hands instead of calling a repairman. I’ll wake up at the crack of dawn and put in a full day of physical labor. Deep down, I know this will never happen. The older I get, the more I crave comfort, and working on a farm is anything but comfort.

I meet many people in Eastern Europe who grew up on farms. They tell me in detail how farm work is hard and grueling, and how they are obligated to work according to the season, regardless of their mood. Their body aches and moans, never able to feel fully rested. If anyone in a European village gets the opportunity to move to the big city, they take it nearly 100% of the time. The people who stay behind are often seen as not industrious enough to escape.

With my farm dream deferred, I can’t help but ask why we were created to run away from what is most natural. Shouldn’t we love coating our hands in the earth and watching the fruits of our labor rise from the ground? Shouldn’t we appreciate the sun and the rain, and celebrate the coming of a new season with a similar level of excitement to how we celebrate our own birthdays with a shot of alcohol in a city bar? Instead, we dive headfirst into the urban simulation. We go through years of educational training to prepare us for sitting at work, sitting in cafes, sitting at home in front of unlimited entertainment options. We spend most of our waking lives staring at electronic gizmos or listening to music that sounds like it was made by an electronic gizmo.

Everyone craves the urban lifestyle, yet who is truly happy with it? You are desirous of more entertainment, more fun, more fornication, and more money. You require ever escalating doses of novelty and drugs. You require more attention and more validation. You require achievement systems and self-improvement programs to change yourself into something else, because you want to be like the man who has all the women and status, or you want to be like the woman who has hundreds of horny followers online. You’re never satisfied with who you are. We live in the city, and we are miserable. Our bodies are rested, but our minds suffer.

Then you go into the village, and meet an uneducated farmhand. His body is tired. He daydreams of relaxation. He has been drinking for much of the evening to help relieve the stress of physical labor and monotonous work. And yet his mind is clear. He has accepted his fate, and assuming he has not lived in the big city to enjoy its pleasures, and assuming he does not have the latest iPhone, he doesn’t know what he’s missing. His village is his entire world, and all he can think of is where he can lay down and doze off until the sun rises again, all without Ambien or “sleep hygiene” protocols that urban zombies need, only to sip on sugary caffeine drinks throughout the next day. The villager’s body suffers, but his mind does not, and if it ever does, it’s nothing that a few beers can’t resolve. His mind empties without the need for clubbing, Instagraming, or visiting the hottest new restaurant in town to feel like a human being.

When man moved from the village to the city, he traded bodily suffering for mental suffering, yet the sum of his suffering remained the same. If anything, he has chosen a new kind of suffering that is much harder to solve. It robs him of his sleep, blocks his ability to connect with the opposite sex, and silences the sound of the river. He believes he made a good deal as he sits in his air-conditioned office, but he’s sitting in an air-conditioned office, wondering how he will get his next hit of external stimulation and pleasure. Year by year, he is gradually taken away from anything resembling a natural life, trading it for one of excess, anxiety, and neverending cycles of self-help.

I punched through the urban life and see nothing on the other side. Ways to make it “better” or more “successful” only lead to more mental suffering, and yet I’m not exactly straining to move to the village, one that I’ve never lived in. While my mind is tough, my body is not. A lifetime of doing workouts in the gym, where I barely broke a sweat, has not prepared for me for life on the farm, and I doubt I’d make it even a month. I know that the sum of my suffering will not change if I move to the village, so I will stick with what I know, and tonight when I lay myself to sleep, after I put on my night mask and turn on my white noise machine, I hope that I won’t toss and turn too much.

Read Next: City Life Is A Simulation

3 Lessons From The Confrontation Between Burt Reynolds And Marc Summers

On October 17, 1994, Burt Reynolds and Marc Summers appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. They proceeded to have an altercation that turned out to be a case study of what happens when a man is confronted by another who is more alpha. I recommend you watch the below video first, read my analysis, and then re-watch it to catch anything you missed.

Analysis of the confrontation

Burt came on as the first guest to promote his new book. After his interview with Leno, Marc was announced as the second guest. Marc glided through the stage with spirited confidence. He shook Leno’s hand and then made a noticeable swallow when he shook Burt’s. Already, there is fear, which was reportedly due to the fact that Marc had previously made jokes about Burt’s divorce habit. I suspect that Marc did not plan on ever seeing Burt in such close quarters.

As the interview with Leno begins, Marc contorts his body away from Burt’s, as if hoping he will somehow disappear. He also crosses his legs, which is usually the body’s way of seeking comfort. Burt then makes some kind of noise or movement at 1:13 that catches Marc’s attention. He looks over to see what is going on. Burt takes that as an opportunity to insert himself into the conversation.

Marc re-adjusts his body language to accommodate Burt, but quickly goes back to facing Leno with legs crossed in the hope that Burt doesn’t interrupt again. That hope is dashed. Burt interrupts Marc to criticize his distant body language. Marc immediately adjusts his body to please Burt and his dominant frame. Marc then obediently answers two of Burt’s questions before catching his own subservience. He feels inferior and attempts to re-assert dominance by patting Burt on the back while making a joke about the fact that Burt is going through a divorce.

Burt does not submit to Marc’s frame by responding with a verbal insult of his own. Instead, he escalates the situation by dumping a mug of water onto Marc’s lap. Marc is shocked yet tries to laugh it off, and then attempts to splash Burt with a mug of water, but Burt is too quick and blocks the incoming attack, causing both the mug and water to impact Marc’s face. There is a flash at 1:54 where you can see Marc expressing genuine fear. He quickly recomposes himself and tries to show apathy by smiling while Burt continues to sit stone-faced as if nothing abnormal is going on.

Shock and fear on Marc Summers’ face

Burt then leans over and makes a threatening gesture with his hands. Marc shows a sign of submission by separating his hands instead of adopting a defensive posture. It has gone too far for him. Judging by his stunned reaction and high-pitched nervous laughter, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the most violent encounter that he had ever experienced in his life.

At 2:18, Marc reaches for another mug but stops himself upon realizing that Burt will likely retaliate. He gets tongue-tied, repeatedly saying “you know” until finally getting his sentence out. Burt remains calm. Not yet done with his fun, Burt pats Marc on the hand to display dominance. Without looking back at Burt, Marc says “Don’t touch me” in a serious tone. Perhaps realizing he has gone too far, Burt says he’s “Sorry.” Marc takes advantage of the apology by facing Burt and asking him a question to control the frame. Burt does not take the bait.

Burt soaks in the absurdity of the situation by reclining far back on his seat and laughing. Marc takes the opportunity to splash Burt with a third mug of water (3:04). Marc then immediately turns his back on Burt, as if he wanted to run away. Burt does not physically escalate, but jokes that he slept with Marc’s wife. Marc’s response to being called a cuckold was to appeal to Burt’s kindness. It doesn’t work, and then Marc insults Burt and his inability to get regular work.

Burt gave Marc an opportunity to retaliate

To capitalize on the drama, the show’s producers set up a cream pie duel. The two men start with their backs to each other. Leno begins the count to three. Burt, ever the scoundrel, launches his pie at the count of 2.5 with great force, landing a direct hit on Marc’s face. The impact was so strong that Marc took several pitty-pat steps backwards out of fear that additional blows would rain down upon him. Burt gets weakly hit by Marc’s pie at a glancing angle and responds with a devilish smirk.

Marc is dissatisfied with the duel and considers launching a sneak attack from behind, but again, fear causes him to hesitate. He almost slips on the floor. It’s clear that Marc senses he has been disproportionately attacked. He strains for ways to get even.

Burt, feeling his opponent’s humiliation, extends a sign of submission by hugging Marc, which is quickly accepted. Marc then experiences a surge of confidence and accepts another cream pie that was handed to him, but hesitates at the crucial moment.

The mood becomes more light-hearted as Burt helps clean Marc off, but he can’t resist giving one final display of dominance by pulling Marc towards him from behind (6:33). Marc appears happy that the embarrassment is over.

Burt shows dominance by thrusting Marc from behind

Three lessons we can learn from Burt and Marc’s confrontation

1. Confidence can only be faked until the unexpected happens

Marc, a veteran television personality, seemed confident and polished when his name was first announced. He was displaying a fake, learned confidence, something he is able to turn on when a camera is pointed at him, but as soon as he encountered a novel situation that diverged from his previous experiences, he reacted in a way that reflected his baseline levels of fear, anxiety, and submissiveness.

Burt also responded emotionally, as his water toss was clearly spur-of-the-moment. While both men are famous in their own right, one possessed a higher level of natural confidence that allowed him to dominate another man in a spontaneous encounter that neither of them had prepared for. By not submitting to the frame of a clearly more dominant man, Marc lost the battle and had to endure public humiliation.

2. If you give your enemy an inch, he will take a mile

The wolf on the right does not intend to put up a fight

The only three instances that Marc felt a surge of confidence was when Burt showed submission signs by apologizing, lowering his physical defenses by reclining on the couch, and offering a hug. Each time, Marc used the submission signal to retaliate. Luckily for Burt, Marc was too beta to successfully complete his counter-attacks.

Paradoxically, Burt’s signs of submission actually made him appear more human. Going for the jugular on national television, which he could have easily done, may have led to a public relations nightmare. Either Burt stopped short to not be perceived as a bully, or he is not the ultimate alpha, and could be defeated in a battle with a man who would not so easily show submission signals.

While Burt’s submissions played well on television since the scorecard was so heavily tilted in his favor, real-life encounters must be approached more cold-heartedly. If you don’t completely destroy or incapacitate your enemy, you merely give him an opening to take you down. It’s not wise to enter any confrontation unless you’re prepared to go all the way.

3. Don’t assume someone with more status (money, fame, women, etc.) is more alpha than you.

Even though Burt was the first guest on the show, he wasn’t doing well at the time. He just lost the love of his life, was having money problems, and as Marc implied, was having trouble getting movie roles. Objectively, Marc was doing better, but material success only weakly correlates to male dominance. In fact, it could be the case that the more financially successful a man is, the more likely he had to submit to other more powerful men in order to achieve his station. This becomes quite literal in the sexual sense with Hollywood actors, who agree to be sodomized for a chance at fame.

You can’t buy or win your way into alpha. Famous beta males like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Anthony Bourdain, and Aziz Ansari clearly show that. Assuming you are not born alpha, which most men aren’t, you can achieve it only by unlocking it internally through your belief system and mental framework. Until you understand yourself, face your fears, and neutralize your anxieties, you won’t be able to properly size up or face your enemies.

Conclusion

Who’s the boss?

This encounter is a microcosm of how men of different power levels interact in day-to-day life. While most interactions don’t involve mugs of water or cream pies, a careful observer can pick out dozens of signs of submission and dominance in the most banal of conversations between men. It’s rather easy to appear dominant in calm and predictable scenarios, but when things get raw and spontaneous, like it did for Marc Summers and Burt Reynolds, the only strength that gets displayed is what’s already within you.

Read Next: “My Way” Is The Most Masculine Song Ever Created

Your Game Situation Is Not Special

I receive many messages from men asking me if they can still use game in spite of their very serious flaws or very impossible logistical situations, when in fact they are an exceedingly typical case that game was developed for.

Roosh, I have autism, will game still work for me? Roosh, I’m 55 years old. Roosh, I live with my parents. Roosh, I live in small town. Roosh, I’m only 5’5″… I have an abnormally large nose… I have a big pimple on my back… I have a high-pitched voice… I have a crooked benis.

I’ve read dozens of excuses from men around the world, and they all boil down to the following: “I’m an imperfect human being like anyone else. Will game still work?”

Game is a tool that will raise your existing station if you implement a program that improves your value and increases your access to women. While some men get more mileage than others, game brings you closer to whatever sexual or relationship goals you have. This outcome of improvement is as dependent on the mental and physical effort you put into it as your existing value. Men who ask if game can work are falling short in understanding game as a tool, and usually have not even attempted more than a handful of approaches. There is no way you confirm that game will help you until you dive in.

No man asks if going to the gym will work, because there is a direct relationship between gym effort and an increase in muscle size. You can even feel the soreness a day after you work out—proof that it’s working. Game is different in that the favorable result you seek comes randomly and often after a long delay of implementation. I first started using game as a socially awkward 21-year-old with zero dating experience. It took me about ten months to get my first bang. I had many intermediary successes during those ten months, but if I gave up beforehand, I would have concluded that game doesn’t work and thrown away one of the most useful tools available to a man today.

It’s also important to understand that game was originally developed by nerdy men who had trouble meeting women through the more traditional means of social circle, often due to their personality and social flaws that often stemmed from a lack of confidence. In other words, game teachings already assume you have flaws and compensates for them by increasing your value in other ways.

In the end, there’s no man who is not helped or enlightened by game, even if that game means getting on an airplane to Thailand and renting a nice apartment in the center of a city. The doors it has opened for me, in terms of pursuing fitness, receiving physical pleasure, experiencing modern simulations of love, and understanding the truth of hedonism, women, and society has made it the most important discovery of my life, and now in today’s extremely difficult dating environment, it has become more of a necessity than a mere curious hobby.

I released my final game book, Game, in September 2018. It helps men implement game in the most healthy way possible. Click here to learn more.

Read Next: What Is Game?

Roosh Hour #34: “Man Up”

In this stream, I talk about how women are telling men to man up, the normalization of cuckoldry, the subversive lyrics in pop music, how the globohomo meme is becoming reality, and a lot more.

Listen to it in podcast format or download the MP3:

Here’s a highlight from a previous stream:

Subscribe to my Youtube channel or podcast RSS feed to catch future streams. You can also subscribe to the Roosh Hour Clips channel for stream highlights.

Previously: Roosh Hour #33: Destruction Of Women

Get Away From Me

I remember the same spot from last year, a short breakwall that protects the small marina. Benches were placed along its length every twenty feet, providing just enough privacy from your neighbors.

I walked to the last bench and sat down. It was peaceful. I watched the small waves break against the rocks and wondered where was the family of friendly cats I saw around here last year. I suppose they moved on.

It was nighttime. In the distance to my left were hotel lights. In front of me was infinite darkness. I closed my eyes to listen to the notes of the light breeze. Heaven under heaven. I breathed slowly.

Then I hear female voices on the walkway. A group of young women pass me, cackling in Russian. I already took the last bench; where will they go? They decide to sit on the rocks, not far from me. They’re laughing, enjoying their friendship. I don’t own the breakwall. I will share this slice of heaven with them. Maybe their laughter will infect me, and I will laugh too.

What’s that noise? I hear music coming from the speaker of a cheap phone. A Russian rap song. The girls are bobbing their heads, loudly rapping along. Why are they ruining it? Maybe a thought was about to enter their heads, one of the infinite darkness, of the notes of the light breeze, and that was too much for them. They blocked out my tranquility with violent noise. They canceled heaven under heaven.

I had been trying in vain to find silence. The beaches were too crowded with tourists. There were too many Bluetooth portable speakers with extra bass boost. There were too many friends and families talking in languages both beautiful and stringent. I won’t find peace here.

But wait, my hotel room! With windows closed, barely a sound can enter. The sun has drawn out thousands to the beaches, but in my room there is nothing to hear, and nothing to look at. Peace at last.

Read Next: The Ball On The String

Roosh Hour #33: Destruction Of Women

In this stream, I talk about how women are being destroyed, the scam behind female “empowerment,” the failure of women in masculine jobs, and a lot more.

Listen to it in podcast format or download the MP3:

Here’s a highlight from my previous stream:

Subscribe to my Youtube channel or podcast RSS feed to catch future streams. You can also subscribe to the Roosh Hour Clips channel for stream highlights.

Previously: Roosh Hour #32: Little Benis Emoticon

LAST CHANCE! Today Is The Final Day For Discount Prices On Lady

The discounts have ended but Lady is still available at competitive pricing in eBook, audiobook, and paperback formats.

Lady gives women pink pills that help them connect with masculine men

Here’s a review I received from a woman in the UK…

Out of the 20+ books on dating and relationships I have read over the last two years, ‘Lady’ is the only one that identifies the reason for my tragic love life. My mistake having been to regard only high status men as worthy of my love. And not simply high status men, I’m talking about the highest I could find in any given environment. For as long as I can remember, this has been my pattern; from the most popular boy in high school to the man who lived in the tallest building in the world and drove a Porsche. I just didn’t get it that these men had a higher value than me and therefore didn’t want a relationship with me. Nobody told me. Thankfully, Roosh has cogently knocked some sense into me at last.

As a love and relationship guide, Lady is primarily addressing women in their early twenties so that they may develop the behaviour and values necessary to find a good man whom they can marry before their value declines. Most women in that demographic probably won’t be able to hear Roosh’s message, which is a pity because it could help them avoid much misery and heartache. I’m a 33 year old cat lady, therefore Roosh’s advice comes far too late for me in many key respects, e.g. choosing not going to university. Even so, ‘Lady’ provides me with plenty of practical advice to navigate the confusing process of dating in our decayed culture.

Due to Roosh’s sometimes brutally harsh (but not undeserved) criticisms of women in his YouTube videos, I had to take a deep breath before reading Lady because I thought I was going to be in for a rough ride. What I found instead was proactive compassion for women due to the damage feminism has inflicted on them. Surprisingly, even a few demonstrations of his romantic tenderness seeped out when he evokes the simple pleasures of being in a relationship.

Roosh is known to be the internet’s biggest misogynist, but in my view, he’s the internet’s most misunderstood teacher on modern culture. Talking about the biological differences between men and women and how it effects their social roles, behaviour and needs is anathema to the global homo paradigm we live in. They try to suppress his voice because his insights about our true natures makes cracks their unnatural and subversive programming so that light may flow in.

The first section of Lady was a triggering read for me because it refreshed what a dire state things are in, not only for me as a conservative woman seeking a relationship and family, but for our a broken and fractured culture in general. Later on in the book, I regained hope in my situation. I even learned that I have been on the right track for the last few years in most respects regarding my present day behaviour and the values. Like Roosh says, I only need to meet one good man. Now I know the way.

I recommend this book to any women who has been disappointed in love.

Lady is intended for traditionally-minded women who are living in the Western world. That audience may be very small, but their problem of finding a good man for marriage without endless dating is considerable. My advice helps them connect with a man while minimizing dating failures. It also helps men who want to better relate to feminine women.

Order Lady today in eBook, audiobook, or paperback

If you order today, the instantly downloadable ebook edition costs only $9.99 and contains unrestricted PDF, EPUB, and Kindle (MOBI) files that can be viewed on unlimited devices. After submitting your payment, you’ll be immediately forwarded to the book’s download page…

The audiobook + ebook edition costs only $15.99 during launch week and includes both the ebook package and the 5 hour 30 minute audiobook in unrestricted MP3 format that is narrated by myself. I narrate the book with a tone of consideration…

The beautiful paperback edition costs only $15.99 + shipping and is shipped worldwide directly to you from the Roosh Warehouse. It makes a fine addition to any coffee table or bookshelf…

View the full description of Lady at Roosh V Store.

Thank you if you’ve already bought Lady. Drop me an email at [email protected] when you’re done with the book to let know what you think.

Not Every Woman Wants To Use Men For Attention Or Sleep Around

Here’s a video that explains four ways my new book Lady helps women who don’t want to participate in hooking up or endless dating…

If you haven’t bought your copy yet, I have some combo specials that are discounted until Thursday. You can order the eBook, audiobook, and paperback of Lady directly from my web store.

The instantly downloadable ebook edition costs only $9.99 $7.99 during launch week and contains unrestricted PDF, EPUB, and Kindle (MOBI) files that can be viewed on unlimited devices. After submitting your payment, you’ll be immediately forwarded to the book’s download page…

The audiobook + ebook edition costs only $17.99 $15 during launch week and includes both the ebook package and the 5 hour 30 minute audiobook in unrestricted MP3 format that is narrated by myself. I narrate the book with a tone of consideration…

The beautiful paperback edition costs only $15.99 $15 + shipping and is shipped worldwide directly to you from the Roosh Warehouse. It makes a fine addition to any coffee table or bookshelf…

View the full description of Lady at Roosh V Store. Before checkout, you’ll have the opportunity to upgrade your purchase to include my entire catalog at huge savings.

Thank you if you already bought it!

Read Next: READ NOW: Lady – How To Meet And Keep A Good Man For Love And Marriage

Roosh Hour #32: Little Benis Emoticon

In this stream, I talk about the new emoticon that shames men with small penises, how the boy scouts have started excluding boys, the globohomo push to whore out Iranian woman, the agenda behind Superbowl LII’s commercials, and a lot more.

Listen to it in podcast format or download the MP3:

Subscribe to my Youtube channel or podcast RSS feed to catch future streams. You can also subscribe to the Roosh Hour Clips channel for highlights.

Previously: Roosh Hour #31: Five Million Homosexuals

READ NOW: Lady – How To Meet And Keep A Good Man For Love And Marriage

Today I’m releasing Lady, a 154-page book that helps women find love, long-term relationships, and marriage in a modern environment where most men seem to only want casual sex. It shares the habits, values, and behaviors of a woman who is most likely to settle down with her ideal man while providing useful tips to reduce the anxiety and stress that are the root causes of wasting time with bad men, alcohol, and consumerism.

Lady is also intended for men who have a sister, girlfriend, wife, or female friend that could use positive guidance when it comes to finding one man to settle down with. The book will allow men to help the important women in their lives from a position of care and understanding.

Lady is divided into three books:

  • Book You helps you understand the true side of your female nature and why the feminist movement is making it difficult to connect with a man.
  • Book Men explains what men really want and why most of your relationships seem to go nowhere. It shares advice on how to maximize your value, date successfully, and enter a monogamous relationship with a good man who wants to marry you, even if you’re over 30.
  • Book Relationships describes how to maintain and care for your relationship in a way that encourages a man to marry you.

Lady provides practical knowledge and advice for a woman to identify and attract a good man for a loving relationship without having to sleep around or be needlessly hurt. It will allow her to nurture her feminine side and experience love with a dedicated man who wants to protect and provide for her.

10 key benefits that are inside Lady

1. Why the ideology of feminism has been so effective at hurting women and dividing them from good men.

2. Why so many men do not want more than casual sex with you.

3. An easy shortcut to identifying men who are serious about creating a family.

4. Two reasons why a man decides not to make you his girlfriend.

5. things that a man wants from a woman. The more of these you’re able to provide, the more likely a man will be eager to marry you.

6. Two changes you need to make to drastically improve your beauty, and details on exactly how to achieve them. Many women focus on the little things, but it’s these two big areas that will cause men to see you the most favorably.

7. The number one mistake women make that causes men not to invest in them.

8. Dating has an atrocious failure rate when it comes to finding long-term partners, but I share my dating strategy to minimize getting sexually used before connecting with a worthy man.

9. Two pieces of advice if you’re over 30 and feel like you’re running out of time.

10. Two common ways that a long-term relationship fails, and how to bounce back from one to meet a man before time runs out.

Order the ebook, audiobook, or paperback today

You can order Lady from my web store using a credit card or cryptocurrency.

The instantly downloadable ebook edition costs only $9.99 during launch week and contains unrestricted PDF, EPUB, and Kindle (MOBI) files that can be viewed on unlimited devices. After submitting your payment, you’ll be immediately forwarded to the book’s download page…

The audiobook + ebook edition costs only $15.99 and includes both the ebook package and the 5 hour 30 minute audiobook in unrestricted MP3 format that is narrated by myself. I narrate the book with a tone of consideration…

The beautiful paperback edition costs only $15.99 + shipping and is shipped worldwide directly to you from the Roosh Warehouse. It makes a fine addition to any coffee table or bookshelf…

View the full description of Lady at Roosh V Store. Before checkout, you’ll have the opportunity to upgrade your purchase to include my entire catalog at huge savings.

To celebrate this release, I’m also offering 40% discounts on two of my memoirs, A Dead Bat In Paraguay and Free Speech Isn’t Free.

Order before February 21 to take advantage of all launch-week discounts.

Leave a comment below if you have a pre-sale question or contact me directly if you need help with your order. Since Lady is the first book I’m writing for women, I’m especially eager for reader comments. Many people will be surprised that a man who has been wrongly called a “misogynist” and “pro-rape guru” has perhaps the best relationship advice for women today.

Thank you for supporting my work!

Lady Review: “It’s Absolutely Packed With Good Info”

The following review of Lady was originally posted on Roosh V Forum. It is available in eBook, audiobook, and paperback. Click here to learn more.

I really enjoyed going through Lady, however, it’s a bit hard to review comprehensively because it’s absolutely PACKED with good info. No flattery intended, but there were so many little gems tucked away in here that it would be hard to cover them all. I think Roosh or any copywriter will have a lot of fun writing the bullets for this book, e.g. “The two best ways to boost your attractiveness.”

With that said, I’ll cover a few of the topics and points that stuck out to me:

♦ The book starts out with some ideas about how to be a high value woman and live a respectable and attractive life. As mentioned by other posters before, I really like the “What would your grandmother do?” test. It’s really simple and I think this sets the tone for the book in that the rest of the concepts and ideas are pretty down-to-earth and easy to remember.

♦ One idea that especially stuck with me is that if you don’t ‘feed your devil,’ he will eventually weaken and it’ll be easier to listen to your angel. This concept is applicable to a multitude of bad habits. If we want to break a habit, we can be mindful of its existence and allow the negative feelings to fade instead of making them stronger by giving in to them. Roosh lays out a bunch of negative devil feeding behaviours and traps presented by our modern world. The explanations are clear and have memorable names so it’s easy for readers to recognize when they come up. I think a woman would learn a lot about herself by being exposed to these concepts, and a woman who avoided these traps would be a sweet catch, especially if she was good looking.

♦ Roosh gives some great examples to show that men and women have very different roles and are attracted to very different things. He goes to the extent of pointing out that a man would ultimately kill other human beings to protect his family! This is a message people need to hear because people are often acting like the opposite sex that they are attracted to, and then becoming frustrated and confused when it doesn’t work out. Roosh emphasizes that men provide and protect, while women can be awesome at supporting and nurturing.

♦ Building on this, there are some great points about not going to university. Modern women think everyone should go to college, but few have stopped to weigh the pros and cons. There’s some serious value in this section. Roosh doesn’t completely slam university, but instead suggests having children when you’re at your most fertile, and then if you still want to go to university, there’s plenty of time to do that when you’re in your 40s and your children have grown into adults. This is an alternate angle that puts you way ahead of your peers when it comes to having a family. … Not to mention there’s a ton of degeneracy that happens in uni.

♦ The university section was immediately applicable to me as, coincidentally, just a few days after reading it I used a bunch of the points there to talk a girl out of blowing $100,000+ USD of her/her parent’s money on some stupid art school in California. Considering Roosh shot me this book for free, this is a pretty damn good return on investment (for her, anyway)!!!

♥ Around this point, Lady segues into talking about how to get love and commitment from a good man, how to make it all last in a loving and meaningful relationship, and how to avoid get taken for a ride. Roosh gives some rules that will be extremely effective at screening out players. Like, nuclear effective. I know if I didn’t have much interest in a girl beyond sex, I wouldn’t put up with the nonsense! This is a very good thing as there are plenty of sluts in the world, and the supply of marriageable women is sorely lacking. I know I’d be ecstatic if the future mother of my children conducted herself this way!

♥ A concept that women really need to understand is that for every 100 men that are interested in you, probably 90 want a one-night or friends with benefits arrangement, only about 7 would like to be in a monogamous relationship, and maybe only 3 actually want to get married with you.

♥ Roosh lays out the big differences in sex vs commitment. I’m sure we’ve met a lot of women who brag about how they went on a date with this or that rich or famous or athletic guy or had an amazing ex-boyfriend, but in these cases I always think to myself, “Yeah, but where is he now?” A huge source of female pain and unhappiness is trying to lock down someone way out of her league. Props to her for trying, but at least go into it knowing how to act accordingly (which Lady lays out how to do). Most girls are totally clueless.

♥ Somewhere in here was a line that really stuck with me. “Understand that if a man says he’s not ready, what he’s really saying is that he’s not ready for you, EVER, because a man is always ready for his ideal girl, even if sex has yet to take place.” This line startled me because I’ve caught myself saying this to women I don’t see myself having a future with. Roosh, stop giving away our secrets!

♥ A little nugget I like is where Roosh says to try not to view men’s needs as a chore, but, ideally, as something a girl wants to do to express her femininity. I think this is a really useful mindset in that feeling love & taking pride in what you do is only going to make your life easier. Even though it’s idealistic, being happy to please your partner is a much healthier mindset than doing things for them begrudgingly!

♥ There are some smart tips on where to run into successful men who will want to commit to you. It would be pretty pointless to be the ideal girl if no one had the chance to actually meet you! However, this book is actionable steps all the way through.

♥ Lastly, to balance the harsh player-screening rules, Roosh spends a lot of time on how to keep a man interested in ways other than just sex. There’s a lot of great points about the qualities men are looking for that will make or break a relationship. I found myself smiling back on past long-term relationships where my girl did some of these things for me, just as I found myself wishing she hadn’t neglected some of the others. Again, it’s all actionable steps that women can apply right now in their hunt for a husband or to make their current man fall more in love with them.

All in all, I give this book a 9/10 WB (would buy), with the -1 point because any girl who reads this is going to be way harder for anyone to have fast sex with. This is a much needed book as the current culture is absolutely screaming at women to destroy their marriageability. Cheers and I hope to see Lady in the bookstores.

Lady has been released on eBook, audiobook, and paperback. Click here to learn more.

Read Next: If You’re Instantly Attracted To A Man, He’s Bad For You

If You’re Instantly Attracted To A Man, He’s Bad For You

The following is an excerpt from Book II: Men of my new book for women, Lady. It is available in eBook, audiobook, and paperback. Click here to learn more.

If you were born in Europe, America, Canada, or Australia, you were raised in an environment that trained you to forsake your angel and feed your devil. Just being able to read English enables me to confirm that treating you badly, or at least showing that I don’t care about you, will excite you enough to start giving me the attention I need to fornicate with you. I’ve done it too many times to count, and have taught tens of thousands of men around the world to do the same.

Even though I’ve shared a few game tricks with you, you’ll still fall for them until you make a conscious effort to starve your devil and stop pursuing the reward of sex with an exciting, high-status man. What you may think of as listening to your instincts is really your devil feeding you harmful instructions. Trusting your instincts when your angel is absent will result in pursuing men who do not commit to you, and this pattern will continue for decades until the type of man you prefer no longer finds you attractive.

The first step to breaking this cycle and making better decisions is to overlay your malformed instincts with logic. With every man you meet, when the time comes to decide whether or not to take the interaction to a more intimate level, ask yourself the following: “Is this the type of man who will provide and protect?” If the answer is no, you should not go any further unless you don’t mind getting pumped and dumped.

A man who is not ready to provide or protect is feeding his own devil, which means he pursues sex for pleasure, variety, novelty, ego gratification, and excitement, and once these benefits disappear, which they usually do in a matter of weeks, he will bail on you without feeling any guilt. As I’m sure you already know, you cannot turn a player into a husband by convincing or persuading him to starve his devil. He must make the personal decision to listen to his angel before he meets you. This means that what you see is what you get. Apart from some superficial aspects, such as a man’s hairstyle or clothing, you will not change the essence of who a man is. If he changes a significant aspect of who he is, it will be because he made a conscious decision to change and not because of your influence.

Let’s say that you’re in a nightclub with your friends for a birthday party. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a man talking to a beautiful woman who seems to be engaged in the conversation. He is stylish and one of the most attractive men in the room. He eventually walks up to you and introduces himself as Eric.

Eric’s conversation is smooth, and next thing you know you’re at the bar with him while he orders a drink from a bartender who knows his name. You can’t help but giggle at his jokes. He then cuts the conversation short and asks for your number while another beautiful woman seems eager to talk to him. Should you give him your number?

Let’s ask our logical question: “Is this the type of man who will provide and protect?” This is an easy no. A man doesn’t work on his game and hit the nightlife in order to get married and settle down, especially if he’s getting attention from many beautiful women. This man will give you excitement but nothing more, and you won’t be able to hold his attention for long even if you’re beautiful yourself because commitment with one beautiful girl is not what his devil wants.

Now imagine you’re in a crowded café reading a book. An average-looking man who desperately needs a style makeover asks whether he can share your table. As you’re getting ready to leave, he asks what kind of book you’re reading and if you like it. You notice that perspiration is forming on his forehead. You politely respond to him, and he does his best to maintain the conversation, but there are many awkward silences. He introduces himself as Bobby.

You are not immediately attracted to Bobby, but he seems to be a nice man with some redeeming qualities and a stable job. He finally asks for your number. Should you give it to him? To help you decide, realize that men who are not smooth around women find it very time-consuming and laborious to find just one woman to date. They prefer to focus on work, hobbies, sports, or socializing with friends. Because of this, they will avoid pumping and dumping a girl they’re interested in since it takes too much effort to find another girl, causing them to focus more on relationships than casual sex. Therefore, Bobby is a far better candidate than Eric to provide and protect.

On one extreme we have Exciting Eric and on the other we have Boring Bobby. Most of your encounters with men will fall somewhere in between. The problem is that your devil prefers Exciting Eric, who is ideal for one night only. It is likely that there have been many Boring Bobbies in your life who you put in the friend zone for safekeeping until the day when you could no longer get the attention of an Exciting Eric, but the problem with this strategy is that Boring Bobby will eventually find a girl who recognizes his worth.

You may argue that Bobby doesn’t give you “butterflies.” There isn’t any “chemistry.” He doesn’t have any “interesting” hobbies. He’s not “spontaneous” enough. He lacks “confidence.” All these complaints are from your devil, which wants you to find a man who can give you a temporary emotional high. If you insist on chasing emotional highs, it will be impossible for commitment to blossom.

Men will have sex with a girl they don’t care about simply to experience an orgasm or two, but they will only commit to a girl they believe has genuine worth. If you’ve been pumped and dumped, it means you were pursuing men who either weren’t looking to provide and protect or who wanted a relationship with a girl whose value was higher than yours. Remember that you want to find a man who sees your value as so high that he thinks he can’t get any better. From your devil’s perspective, it will be with a man who doesn’t seem like the best you can get. In other words, if your devil likes a man, beware! Your devil will always push you towards someone who will not provide and protect for what should be the rest of your life.

The above excerpt was taken from my new book Lady. It is available in eBook, audiobook, and paperback. Click here to learn more.

Read Next: How A Woman’s Career Damages Her Relationships With Men