Balancing Between Compliments & Insults

The following excerpt from Bang discusses the middle ground between compliments and insults…

The opposite of a compliment is an insult, something you should also avoid. If you had a linear scale with a compliment on one end being a 1 and an insult on the other end being a 10, some of the material you’ve read so far reach into the 6 range. Their purpose is to let a girl know that you are not impressed with her, even if below the surface you really are. The more you show her you’re impressed, the more likely she will perceive her value as being too high for you. Sex withholding follows as a result.

While saying “You’re too old for me” may seem like an insult on the surface, it is taken as a joke when you have already established a fun and playful vibe. Context here is important: if you were talking about something boring like politics all night and then all of a sudden you tell her she’s too old for you, she will get offended. But if you were already joking around with her for a while, she’ll know that it’s just a part of your personality.

Regardless, some girls will get insulted by your humor and think, “Who does this guy think he is?” While I don’t apologize to any girl who takes my humor wrong, I definitely don’t continue to push her buttons once she is already upset. To me her annoyance is either a sign of incompatibility or a bad line on my part. Did I accidentally say the wrong thing or did she get offended at a line that girls normally respond well to? I make a judgment call if this interaction can be saved or if there is another girl around that my time could be better spent with. Because trying to convince her that you were joking is a form of beta male supplication, it’s best to move on if your material is poorly received. The goal of material in the middle of our compliment-insult scale is to make her aware of her own faults instead of yours. Once the focus is taken off you, she will be much more susceptible to game.

The last two sentences are very important. Solid game makes the girl look inward to her own faults or lacks. Your backhanded compliments and teasing takes the focus off your uneven chin, odd mannerisms, and balding scalp. If you have a rather large deformity then your game has to be that much more potent to compensate for the flaw.

Unfortunately you can’t just go around insulting girls, which is what a lot of guys do after they read books like The Game, where the “neg” was heavily featured. You can study negs all day and night but you’ll still fuck it up every time with the wrong tone or body language. It’s better to avoid its use until you get to an advanced Matrix-like level of game, but by then you probably won’t even need to use them. Focus on material on the “6 range” like I explain above. I give tons of examples in my book.

Speaking of my book, here’s a recent email I received about it…

How’s it going man? I recently put together enough money to buy Bang and I have to say it was not only worth every penny, but more. I don’t usually say shit like this (especially about things I have to pay for). I bought David DeAngelo’s DoubleYourDating eBook a few years back and I have to say that Bang BLEW IT AWAY. You can use this as a testimonial if you want. Oh, I have also read Swingcatt’s eBook and I not only had more laughs and a better time reading Bang, but I found it more useful and my game is doing so much better. I like your approach to the field, you put things simply in a way that I can understand. However, you use advanced tactics like DeAngelo and Swingcatt, but explain it on a step by step basis with examples to real life events and situations. I can’t thank you enough.

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