From a girl in Canada..
So I gotta say….since I first emailed you, I’ve been perusing your blog. If you are in person anything like what you make yourself out to be on your page, you have become somewhat mythical to me.
I know no one in real life that actually has the attitude towards women and sex that you seem to. No one that actually lives and breathes as the seeming horndog Casanova that you come off as. To me, you are the movie character I watch but would never meet in my day to day. You are the mystery guy some whiny chick writes in to Cosmo to whine about. You are the rock star persona that every sad-ass frontman-wannabe loser on some ridiculous reality show wishes he was but will never, ever come close to.
But I have to wonder – could you possibly be all that and still be real?
Flattery will get this girl everywhere even if it would be a one night sex adventure to remember, but this wouldn’t work on girls. They are used to it to the tune of a million daily direct and indirect sex offerings, whether they are pretty or not.
I consider her email fun flirting and something I’d positively respond to, so why do American girls serve up this cocky banter bullshit to “flirt” with me and my friends? I don’t know, but one thing I learned a long time ago is if you keep doing something that doesn’t work, STOP DOING IT.
Here is another email I got from a girl.
The last time I wrote to you I told you that I was crazy about this guy, I was super super super nice to him and in return he didn’t treat me very well. I asked you what I should do and you said that I should leave him because he was just going to sleep with me once and then never talk to me again. Well, after 3 months of dating I did sleep with him (he was dating other women at the time, I wasn’t). This all happened last summer.
A few months later he fell in love with me and stopped dating other women, I was sooo happy. We’re so great together, always laughing and joking around-I’m a really easy going gal and I worked really hard to make him feel cared for/loved. I worked even harder to earn his trust and to let him know know I’d never hurt him. Anyways, we were together for 11 months and then I asked him if he’d ever marry me. He told me he doesnt believe in marriage and didn’t want it but that he did want me to move in with him.
Well, I’m a traditional kind of gal…I don’t believe in living with someone unless you’re married (plus my family is very traditional as well). So, I told him that if he doesn’t want what I want then we should go our seperate ways, because I do want to get married. It’s frustrating!!! Anyways, we’ve gone our seperate ways, which is sad because we were so great together.
But what’s a gal to do? I mean, I put in sooo much work just to keep him happy and in return I didn’t ask for much, but it didn’t work. I mean, shouldn’t he want to marry me just so he doesnt lose me? I told him that I’m going to start dating other men, I don’t care to date anyone else BUT I hoping that it gets a reaction out of him and if it doesnt then maybe I’ll meet a nice guy who does want to get married.
A part of me thinks that I should give in and just move in with him because it feels right and he and I were so happy together. BUT another part of me is scared…I think he might leave me because he doesn’t want to marry me (sometimes I think that he doesn’t even know what he wants or has no clue what he has) and then I think I’ll have wasted precious years trying to find a guy that does want to get married.
OK, that’s enough venting for now…
So what do you think, is this guy ever going to marry me or should I move on? Is there anything I could do to make him want to marry me?
My first instinct is to say it doesn’t matter what you do, he will not marry you. But I don’t think that is the advice she wants to hear.