Beta Husband

It was impossible for me to resist an article titled Why I Left My Beta Husband. It’s about a woman who got fed up with her stay-at-home life partner.

I stayed home with our daughter for six months after she was born while Mark continued, yes, looking for a job. In 18 months, he got just two calls. Meanwhile, I was being pursued by headhunters. Eventually, I took an editing job at a health magazine.

A man’s role changes with time. When you’re just dating it’s about satisfying a woman sexually and providing her with nice company that keeps the good bedroom times rolling. In a relationship it moves to protection and comfort and then in a marriage with children it’s about being an able provider. Having an interesting and witty personality will not cut it when your kids are hungry and need new clothes, which is why you don’t have kids unless you are prepared to work until death.

The truth is, I wasn’t attracted to [Mark] anymore. It wasn’t that he’d changed—he still had the same floppy brown hair, bright green eyes, and long freckled limbs that had literally made me quiver when I first met him. But in my head, I’d neutralized him as a sexual being. I wanted to be overwhelmed by the sheer power of his masculinity in the bedroom, but I wasn’t. Because I felt like the man in our relationship.

So she wised up, dumped Mark, and found her alpha stud, right? Of course not. You can never listen to a woman’s words because women have no idea what they want. This one simply went and found a Mark-clone who also likes poetry.

So nobody was more surprised than I was when I went ahead and fell for another stay-at-home dad.

Here’s the difference, though: Jason knows what he wants—and it’s not a corner office. He wants to have his afternoons free to hit the park with my daughter or paint or translate the writings of Pablo Neruda. There’s nothing thwarted or self-pitying about him. When we’re cooking dinner together on Friday nights in a kitchen fragrant with curry, or trying to drink coffee in bed on Sunday mornings while my daughter dances around us, I’m so attracted to him that it’s all I can do not to rip his clothes off then and there.

So Jason is much better because he knows he wants to be a bum. Hey I guess that gives me hope.

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Phil
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Phil
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I can assure you Jason wants that – minus the “daughter” bit. This man is an alpha in disguise. The daughter isn’t even his – it’s hers. He’s just using that to get what he wants. He’ll ultimately figure out a way to pawn off the kid.

Roissy
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Roissy
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“But in my head, I’d neutralized him as a sexual being.”

yeah, this is no surprise. i’ve talked about how women will completely desexualize their exes or soon-to-be exes in a way that men don’t do with their exes. it’s perfectly understandable from a sociobiological view – it’s more dangerous for her eggs to get contaminated by the tepid seed of a worthless beta ex than it is for a man to tap that ex-ass one more time and sow his oats.

the equivalent desexualization would be if a guy’s ex gained massive quantities of pounds or years. then there’s no going back to that.

Sweat P.
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I like how she says she’s not proud of the husband who stays home to care for their daughter. Classy. Call him beta all day if you want, I think it would be pretty kick-ass to have the woman do the career BS while I take care of what actually matters.

Dirk Diggler
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She’s obviously no prize. Getting closer to the wall every day, too.

Sweat P.
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“I imagined being married to, well, someone like me. Someone whose job sounds interesting to other people. Someone who walks out the door with a pressed shirt on, a leather briefcase, and a confident gait.”

This part kills me, too. I don’t want you unless you’re like everybody else! If that’s what she really wants, she needs to get her ass to DC with the quickness, if she hasn’t already.

surfallday
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surfallday
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>hit the park with my daughter

should read more like “hit the park with Marks Mistake”

surfallday
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surfallday
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oh and im sure he is just DELIGHTED

surfallday
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surfallday
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and another thing – she sounds – FUGLY

shadowsofourselves
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She sounds like a bitch.

inowpronounceyou
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Jesus…where to begin sifting through this car crash? First of all, fuck this woman. She married a guy who didn’t change and then tossed him aside b/c he was…gasp…the man she married. And then went out and found another one?

She shouldn’t be allowed to breed. Let alone write some BS article glorifying what she did as some sort of proof of her enlightenment.

Dirk Diggler
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It should have been called “Eat, Pray, Queef.”

AH
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AH
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In my experience, women like guys who know what they want, be it slacking around or conquering the world. It reads like that was the big difference between the two guys.

Dirk Diggler
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Fair point.

irina
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my thoughts on the matter:
1) she sounds like she was 19 when she married him. around 20/21 a girl should learn that sex isn’t enough. But I’m probably wrong, so she must be a dumbass.
2) she never listened to the warnings her mother and father gave her before the wedding day. “what do they know?” she thought. again, dumbass.

Dirk Diggler
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She also comes across as smug and entitled. Never about what she has to offer, but what someone else can offer her.

OG Sally
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OG Sally
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It reminds me of that scene from As Good As It Gets.

Woman: “How do you write women so well?”
Melvin: “I think of a man… and then I take away reason and accountability.”

Days of Broken Arrows
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Days of Broken Arrows
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Good analysis of this article, Roosh. My question is, why does the media insist in running this Alpha female-shaming-men crap?

I’m a few years older than y’all and back in the early 1990s, the media was pushing the real-men-take-care-of-kids party line. Now that they got that, they’re turning around and calling those men wimps. Your assertion that women don’t know what they want is spot-on!

Gunslingergregi
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The media was pushing real men pay child support way more than that. The only thing a guy has to do to take care of is kids is to pay the money to some woman that will raise them minus him. Whatever the woman does is not important only that he makes sure he takes care of his responsability and pay that child support. That’s the one thing in the story the bitch doesn’t talk about and that is her monthly entitlement she gets from her former husband. While she has her daughter dancing around her and another guy while they are lyeing in bed and she is so turned on. Where was the fairness there. He should of gotten the kid since he was in the woman’s place and his wife was the primary breadwinner.

InstantExcitement
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Her argument that she liked guy #2 because he was happy with what he did is BS. She said she noticed the problems in her first relationship before she found out that the first husband was upset with being at home! How is guy number 2 any different? The lesson here is that she decided she wanted something different and created a rationalization for herself. When she sees someone else she wants she’ll dump guy #2 and come up with some other sort of reason to ensure that she made the right decision and this was his fault.

Rael
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Rael
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She was bored with her husband and wanted a strange new penis in her life – very simple. ;)Reverse situation happens to men all the time and no one thinks twice about it.

What’s weird about this that she has to make it about him – something about how he didn’t have a job (well, the new boy doesn’t have a job either) or had a bad attitude, or something.

You don’t see Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner making his choices to move on to a new girl about the old girl – they’re just about his own drives. You also generally don’t see them trashing their exes in public.

This tendency to deny personal responsibility for sexual choices does seem to be more of a female trait than a male one. Fortunately, there are lots & lots of exceptions to that generalization.

Anon
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Anon
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This is disgusting and a good example of what is wrong with women these days. She dumped her husband and father of her child because “she wasn’t attracted to him anymore.” I can’t wait until her new man dumps her because “he found someone he likes more with no children.” I bet she will write an article about what a jerk he is.