Bitch Slappin’ The Boys

Like every other guy, there are times when the ways of women mystify me. But at other times, I must admit, my own gender makes me shake my head in confused wonderment. I am not just talking about the alien force that compels some men to sit in the hot sun watching stock cars drive around an utterly plane oval track for hours on end, hoping someone crashes horrifically to end the boredom. I am talking about the world of romance and dating. Let’s picture two typical dating scenarios:

Scenario #1

You’re in a bar and you notice a girl smiling at you. You smile back, which prompts her to walk over to you and introduce herself. She works hard at keeping the conversation going. She laughs at all your jokes, touches you playfully, and fixes her hair a lot. At closing time she asks you to escort her home. At her door she invites you in to offer you a drink. On the couch at her place, she jumps you and you have wild sex. In response, you notch your belt, tell your friends she is too easy, and never call her again.

Scenario #2

You chat up a cute girl in a coffee shop. You get her number and go out for drinks. Nice conversation follows, she seems cool and interesting. You offer to walk her home, she says there is no need, but you insist, and after some back and forth, she reluctantly agrees. At her front door she stops to say goodnight and you tell her you have to use the bathroom, so she lets you in. After you have pretended to use the bathroom, you sit with her on the couch and bust a move. While making out, she tells you repeatedly that she can’t be up late and needs to work in the morning. She moves your hand away from whatever private part you are attempting to grope. She struggles to keep various pieces of clothing on as you attempt to remove them. Finally, either through exhaustion from fighting off your attempts, eagerness to please this cool new guy she is on a date with, or simply the natural horniness that comes from long sessions of making out and being groped, she relents and sleeps with you. In response, you notch your belt, tell your friends she is too easy, and never call her again.

What’s odd about this is that if both girls above had put up more resistance and denied their men the ultimate prize, the guys might have called again. Guys, does this make any sense? If a girl bangs on the night you met her or on the first date, she is likely to bang the next time you see her, so what exactly is the problem is here?

I’ll never understand this. To me, this kind of bait and switch thing is what we “logical” guys like to blame “emotional” girls for. We guys constantly complain how girls demand we treat them to expensive dinners and flowers, only to decide, after we dutifully comply, that we are “too nice.” They tell us they “have a lot going on right now” and are “too busy to date anyone,” but a few weeks later we see those same girls grinding on some frat boys wearing cowboy hats in Heaven & Hell.

As far I was concerned, I had no problem with a girl who was ready to get busy real quick. When that happened, I just patted myself on the back for having pimp tight game. I mean, hey, I can’t really blame a girl for having sound judgment in men, can I? Once I was done giving myself props, I started making plans to get the good stuff from her again.

When I was playing the game, I wasn’t playing for the love of opening lines, phone numbers, or first dates. I wasn’t spending weekend nights trolling in trashy Adams Morgan bars until 3:00AM for the joy of communing with sweaty, drunken humanity. I wanted the ultimate prize. When I got it, I sure didn’t want to throw it back so fast. I wanted a healthy rate of return on my investment.

Think of how many guys make promises to Satan himself that they will never be nice to a woman again because they got burned by the dinner & flowers trick all through college. Now ask yourself how many girls swear they will make guys wait at least 5 dates before sex because they got burned for giving it up “too soon.” Fellas, does it ever occur to you that if you reward “good behavior,” you’re likely to see a lot more of it?

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hedonistic
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(crickets)

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Sweet Jeebus on a cracker, Chaco asks a fair and reasonable question and all he gets are CRICKETS?

Roissy
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it’s that madonna/whore dichotomy. guys and girls come pre-built with inherently contradictory impulses. girls — the provider/lover. guys — the slut/good mother. it all makes sense from the gene’s-eye-view. typical guy wants to spurt his seed into as many women as possible but will only settle down and invest with the kind of woman he can be confident isn’t the type to sleep around on him while they are making babies together. a man’s worst nightmare, from a darwinian perspective, is getting duped into spending years raising another man’s kid.

guys make assessments on girls’ behavior. if she has sex too soon he will subconsciously register that she is the type to fall easily for any man’s halfway decent game, and that makes her a high-risk longterm investment strategy. and he will be right about her character more often than not.

KassyK
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Amen Chaco. Are you the only man in the world that thinks logically?

Matt
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Of course you are correct, but you forget that the more you reward the “good behavior” the harder it is too get out.

hedonistic
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Groucho Marx explains it all:

“I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
o Groucho and Me (his 1959 book)

KassyK
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Matt–Not if your girl likes sex. I have a useful tip for guys. There ARE girls that aren’t slutty and enjoy sex. Maybe not a lot of us, but we DO exist. It’s not a myth.

entropy
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This was a depressing post, but I don’t think that I totally agree with it. I rarely find a dude that doesn’t call a girl back because she slept with him on the first night — he doesn’t call her back because he wasn’t that into her in the first place. He just took advantage of the situation.

Substitute either of those scenarios with a hot model and you better believe the guy will call her back. She’s a keeper! …or so he thinks. At the very least he’ll want to drink from that watering hole again. Realistically though, a guy will act a lot differently around a girl he finds very attractive versus one he doesn’t. That’s why you might find one guy do the one-night-stand thing under one set of circumstances, and the dating frame under another (with the latter set being reserved for those he feels deserve it).

Q
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“it’s that madonna/whore dichotomy. guys and girls come pre-built with inherently contradictory impulses. girls ? the provider/lover. guys ? the slut/good mother.”

Roissy – Yes, indeed it is that old dichotomy. But since our level of consciousness has evolved to the point where we can see the dichotomy for what it is, why not roll that dichotomy back into one and forget the idea that the roles are “inherently contradictory.”

I see no reason why a man cannot be both a good provider and a good lover, and no reason why a woman can’t be both an enthusiastic sex partner and a good mother.

Men having been trying to stuff female sexual pleasure back into Pandora’s box for ages and ages now (sorry, boys, it ain’t happenin’) out of fear of raising illegitimate children. At the same time, and out of the other corner of your mouth, Roissy, you’re always railing against female sexual repression.

Well, you guys have to decide which it is that you want. Is it an iron-clad guarantee that your nice little wives will be so repressed or unexcited about sex that there’s no chance they’ll ever cheat on you (in some places this is taken to the extreme of female circumcision), but also won’t be too much fun in the sack? Or is it a long-term partner who uninhibitedly enjoys sex who may also be inclined to cheat if you haven’t gone to the trouble of finding a truly trustworthy woman or if you don’t do your part in keeping the sex interesting?

We’re all still here, so evolution isn’t over yet. Why not make conscious choices toward creating better relationships?

Matt
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Kassy,

Of course girls enjoy sex, actually more than men do. In the situations highlighted by Chaco, it seemed to me that the ultimate goal was eventually to break it off with the girl; his point as I understood it was rather than make these situations one night stands, why not come back a few more times. Back to my point, although Chaco is correct that it makes some sense to reward the good behavior, the more 2 indivuals have sex, the more likely it is that one of them will become attached, and the harder it will be to exit the situation.

You can say to me that you are one of those girls that just enjoys sex and will be fine sleeping with a guy a bunch of times and then calling it quits, but the reality is, somebody is going to get attached, and somebody is going to get hurt. As a result, the one night stand offers high reward for minimum emotional suffering. Although I will say that one night stand sex is rarely good.

Jay
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Why do you ask this? I don’t see a problem with going back to the sweet spot. Most of guys I know who didn’t call a girl back after banging them realized either (1) in morning light, she was actually butt ugly, or (2) he found something better. Or by mutual assent, both of you decide that one night was good enough. Most guys actually will go back for an easy bang, that’s a fact. If they tell you she’s too easy, they’re lying to themselves and/or… realized they ended up with someone they really didn’t want (and as a corollary, can’t risk being seen out in public with her).

KassyK
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Matt–I see what you mean and I agree. I’m just saying that I look good in the light and I love sex (just making the point that its not always about bad sex or an ugly girl)…but your right–there is not a girl in the world that doesn’t get attached after sleeping with the same guy 3 times…IF the sex is good.

If its not good (at least for me)…its easy to never want them again.

hedonistic
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The Madonna/Whore dichotomy is as false as NiceGuy/BadBoy. Healthy people are a mix of both. Ergo, nice girls sometimes hop into the sack early. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re indiscriminate; rather, it often means they trust their instincts and chose you quickly – MEANING, they really LIKED you! So, you can just magine their letdown when you don’t call them again.

I avoid this sad fate by avoiding self-loathing men with madonna/whore complexes. They’re pretty easy to spot: On date #1, just listen to how they talk about other women. The seeds of the destruction of a relationship are sown in the very beginning.

Q
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I realize my last post sounded a bit self-contradictory. My point was that healthy women don’t want to take on either the Madonna or slut role, nor do men find partnering with either of these to be fully satisfying. So it’s time we throw all that out the window.

Women can absolutely be a healthy blend of nurturer and passionate lover. If a hearty enjoyment of sex means she’s more likely to seek it out, men who partner with these women just need to put in the effort to keep their end of the relationship solid.

CVP
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See I think the key is looking at each girl individually. I’m pretty positive if I get home with a girl that I can tell if shes the type to sleep around or just one that made a wise decision to go home with me. Obviously you don’t start dating every girl you sleep with on the first night but sometimes there are keepers.

KassyK
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CVP–Another rational thinker. smile

I think the point of this post is Chaco wondering why guys make excuses for why they don’t call a girl after sex or go back for more after a one night stand.

I think the answer is simple–they just don’t want to.

Sometimes we all overthink and it has nothing to do with being men or women…sometimes its just about getting laid or not wanting to jump into something serious.

Not saying I think its ok, but I get it the doing it…its the excuses that are bullshit.

mhm
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“Guys, does this make any sense? If a girl bangs on the night you met her or on the first date, she is likely to bang the next time you see her, so what exactly is the problem is here?”

Depends on the girl. Depends on the sex. How many guys are going to say no to sex with a cute/passable chick for at least one time? Not many at all. But if a guy doesn’t call the chick back there is something about her that rubs him the wrong way. Not enough to not have had sex with her once, just enough to make him not want to put up with her, even for the sex.

Beyond the physical attraction, which is what gets you interested originally, there is the personality/intelligence attraction which takes a little longer. Let’s put it this way. There are a lot of women I see who I would love to have sex with if we could follow three rules. 1. Don’t talk to me 2. After we finish you leave. 3. If we see each other, we pretend that we don’t know one another.
In my personal experience, the two best longest relationships I have ever had have been with women that I slept with on either the first or the second night. It didn’t work out with either for different resaons, but my life is much better, and I am a better person for having them in liife. Did it make any difference that they slept with me so soon? Not at all. It made me like them more.

mhm
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btw…Chaco’s posts remind me of what my married friends are like….BORING. About as much fun as a laxative on a saturday night.

Socrates
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Man what the fuck is up with all this askmen.com bullshit. If I want a brawds number I’ll get the f-ing number. If want to call her back, I’ll call her back. All the real mf men that I know got manhood oozing out their pores, aren’t scared to ask chicks for fucking gawdam phone numbers. Dcb stop this m-fer and all the psychoanalytical, astronomical, tukey-kramer procedure, nuclear thrombosis, reasearching to figure out why Dudes and brawds play games…………..

Roissy
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“There ARE girls that aren’t slutty and enjoy sex.”

kassyk, sluttiness and enjoying sex are not necessarily the same thing. sluts sleep around or have sex quickly with men they hardly know. a girl who tears up the sheets could do so with only one man her whole life, and may only relent after he has proven his worth by courting her for weeks.

“She’s a keeper! ?or so he thinks.”

entropy, you make a good point. easy girls tend to be less attractive than their more challenging sisters. the reason girls often lament that a guy didn’t call them back after a ONS is because they were not attractive enough for him to spend more time with and risk the opporunity cost of gaming higher quality girls. girls get constant feedback of their level of attractiveness and the uglier ones learn to put out more quickly because they know from experience that playing hard-to-get with a man at or above their own sexual market value is a losing strategy when that guy will assess the situation and simply conclude that if he’s gonna sacrfice much time and effort on a single girl then he’d be smarter to invest in a stock with a higher return. the same works in reverse — prettier girls know they can string guys along and extract resources from them while they are being courted. that is why, on average, lower value girls are sluttier than higher value babes.

this doesn’t negate the madonna/whore issue. a hot babe who puts out too soon will be valued lower as a longterm marriage prospect than a hot babe who makes the guy wait a bit. but of course she’ll be valued MUCH higher as a sure thing. and truly high value guys are more interested in sure things than they are in marriage.

“But since our level of consciousness has evolved to the point where we can see the dichotomy for what it is”

Q, logically apprehending our genetic heritage doesn’t mean we can stop feeling a certain way when those synaptic buttons are pressed. cf: the success ratio of converting gays.

“no reason why a woman can’t be both an enthusiastic sex partner and a good mother.”

sexual voracity is not solely the domain of sluts.

“Roissy, you’re always railing against female sexual repression.”

if marriage&kids were on my mind i might make efforts to avoid LTRs with loose party girls. since it is not, my concerns tend toward the more pragmatic — like is she hung up on sex and if so do i have the skills to crack her edifice?

hasbeen hausfrau:
“The Madonna/Whore dichotomy is as false as NiceGuy/BadBoy.”

familiarize yourself with the term ‘useful generalization’. and while you’re at it pick up a book on evolutionary psychology.
ya dope.

“MEANING, they really LIKED you!”

you’re too old to remember what it was like. the opposite is more often true. MEANING, when a girl really LIKES a guy she will be inclined to make him wait so she doesn’t run the risk of him devaluing her.

Roissy
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having said that, i agree with mhm that the most fulfilling LTRs, sexually and otherwise, start hot and heavy. when two people are unmistakeably hot for each other and there is a real connection the coyness and self-restraint aren’t sustainable for more than a few dates. you have to get the impression she’s working hard to control herself around you. then when she bangs you on the 1st or 2nd date it feels more pre-ordained than whoreish.

Dirk
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What a load of bull. Chicks who give it up early get some kind of cognitive dissonance and refuse to give it up again for six months.

hedonistic
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Roissy, when I was a sophomore in college a guy followed me home from class. Six months I told him to get his own toothbrush and start paying rent. We had our “first date” on our fifth anniversary. So, am I the first chick in history to sleep with a man BEFORE the first date? I sincerely doubt it.

Our screwy dating habits evolved from a time in history when women were bought and sold like slaves (marriage was literally a property exchange). Today the wooing drama plays out in buying drinks, paying for dinner, gifting, big fat diamond rings, yadayada, which results in delusional thinking about “high value” and “low value” women. Unfortunately, even in the modern USA women are still treated like commodities instead of people. Old social habits die reeeeeeeeeely hard.

Totally messed up. Anyhoo, slow day at work, company Christmas party.

(Evolutionary psychology my ASS. Evpsychs are just a bucha guys – for the most part high-status white men, as I’m aware of NO female evpsychs in practice – with an invested interest in legitimizing and defending the status quo. BIO-SOCIAL research is where it’s at now! You’re behind the social times, dude, spouting archaic shit! Get with the program!)

nabeel
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“How many guys are going to say no to sex with a cute/passable chick for at least one time? Not many at all. But if a guy doesn’t call the chick back there is something about her that rubs him the wrong way”

Or maybe it’s simply because the guy called her after sex and the girl turned him down. Then the guy might start telling his friends “oh she’s too easy, I won’t call her again” … to save face, I guess.

Personally, I don’t like one night stands. So I wait at least couple of dates before I decide to get in the sack with a woman.

Anonymous
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yawn

Jesus
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Do you guys let your chain hang low….

V
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Very interesting post. I still cannot wrap my head around what women and men are thinking if they sleep with someone who they’ve only known a few hours and probably under intoxicated circumstances?

Are girls really mad when he doesn’t call? Are guys really not so interested in them once they’ve hit it?

It seems to me that there is more insecurity and guilt at play than anything.

mhm
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It always makes me laugh to read Hedonistic’s comments on gender and sexuality.

Anonymous
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“I’m just saying that I look good in the light and I love sex (just making the point that its not always about bad sex or an ugly girl)”

Has anyone else met KassyK who has a problem with this? The egotism aside, I’ve seen her here and there, and I’d say some misrepresentation is occuring. You’re alright looking, but you’re not exactly the greatest prize walking. Glad you enjoy sex though, that’s a good trait in women.

Roissy
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“So, am I the first chick in history to sleep with a man BEFORE the first date?”

don’t play dumb. formalized dates aren’t the only way to get to know someone.

“Our screwy dating habits evolved from a time in history when women were…”

no.
dating, courtship, sex, and love evolved the way they did because of two predominant factors:
sperm is cheap.
eggs are expensive.

“which results in delusional thinking about ?high value? and ?low value? women.”

you’re a self-parody. sexual market value has nothing at all to do with those things you’ve listed except insofar as they serve as imperfect proxy for a woman’s real value. an ugly girl getting wooed with expensive dinners and diamonds is still a low status ugly girl, as she would soon learn if her fantastical suitor abandoned the chase and she was left to fend for herself in the jungle.

“women are still treated like commodities instead of people.”

everyone is a commodity. get used to it.

“Old social habits die reeeeeeeeeely hard.”

so hard in fact that they are still going strong with no let-up in sight despite two generations of post-modern and feminist indoctrination to the contrary. keep me posted on your quest to change human nature.

“(Evolutionary psychology my ASS.”

is this the MY ASS school of argumentation?

“Evpsychs are just a bucha guys”

read ‘human accomplishment’ and take note of the number of women represented.
hint: it ain’t a big number.
and it ain’t getting much bigger.

“I’m aware of NO female evpsychs in practice”

which is probably why it’s a respectable science actually committed to the observation of reality.
oh snap!

“defending the status quo.”

you’re a laffriot. the status quo is exactly the sort of tabula rasa equalist whitenoize bullshit you spout all the time. to give one leetle example, larry summers attempted to lift the veil on this ideological gulag and even that glimmer of truth was enough to send the mavens of the kultural konditioning kult into paroxysms of righteous indignation. but this rearguard action won’t matter soon. the recent discoveries in neuroscience and gene mapping are carefully and steadily overturning decades of orthodoxy.

“BIO-SOCIAL research is where it’s at now!”

evo psych adequately explains universal male-female differences. where it falls short is in assuming human evolution stopped 50,000 years ago. the discipline gives short shrift to population group differences. for that, you need to turn to the vanguard of computational genomics.

“You’re behind the social times, dude, spouting archaic shit! Get with the program!)”

spot the irony.

vv
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verbal vomit.

and I’m out for the evening.

mhm
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“Has anyone else met KassyK who has a problem with this? The egotism aside, I’ve seen her here and there, and I’d say some misrepresentation is occuring. You’re alright looking, but you’re not exactly the greatest prize walking. Glad you enjoy sex though, that’s a good trait in women.”

You mean you don’t find it attractive when girls go on and on about how hot they are?
Kassy has spent a little demasiado time in DC comparing herself to all the fuglies there.

Single One
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The Single One agrees that nice guys may very well finish last. And, I’m back to give the female perspective on dating. Respect.

KassyK
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Anonymous–Wow harsh…who said I’m the biggest prize walking? I am a pretty girl. No one said drop dead gorgeous and obviously not your type–but I am way better than alright.And I do look good in the light.

Curious? Go to my site…I post pictures at least once a week.

I wonder who you are Anonymous…hmmm.

KassyK
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Bash Kassy day!! YAY!! And right in time for my birthday. Its interesting that I do post pics all the time so you guys all know what I look like…and yet here you are–bashing me on someone else’s board.

I don’t compare myself to anyone…ugly or pretty bc then I would hang myself. I am happy with how I look…not hot…not amazing…but good.You don’t have to be.

Chaco
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Thanks to hendonistic for getting the ball rolling.

Thanks to Roissy for his argument inducing comments – I think people come to this blog to argue with each other more than to comment on the blog posts themselves.

I love how mhm called me boring (just like a married guy even) for the 2nd week in a row. I am going to post some very pro-relationship stuff next week so I can earn the boring title for the 3rd straight time.

Finally, Kassy is hot. People who say otherwise are full of shit.

entropy
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I agree Chaco. Kassy (a.k.a. the future mother of my children) is SMOKING hot! What planet are you other guys living on?!

freckledk
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Kassy is indeed lovely, and the fact that she is aware of this is considered by some of you to be a negative trait? I guess it’s much more preferable to be full of self-loathing than it is self-love. She dares consider herself to be attractive?! Disgusting! Let’s lynch her.

hedonistic
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LOL . . . They’re just mad cause she won’t let them . . . well, you know.

hedonistic
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Chaco: Oh, and I think it’s reeeely funny (and very telling actually) that certain men sneer at the advice given by the guy who’s probably getting the most tail of all! Haters don’t like having it rubbed into their noses that respecting and genuinely LIKING women gets them laid more often than that OTHER way.

Anonymous
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You are all missing the point. It doesn’t matter whether KassyK is good looking or not. It’s the fact that she NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT IT! Regardless of whether I agree with her viewpoint (I’m lukewarm) it gets old after awhile. You think you’re hot, we get it, now shut up.

This is precisely why I have to post this anonymously. I point out a fault of yours (confidence is not a fault, arrogance is…and you are very full of yourself) and immediately four people come rushing to your defense, with their noses halfway up your ass.

Or better still, insinuating that I’m angry because you won’t give me any. I’ve exchanged maybe three sentences with you at most, not nearly enough for me to be interested, especially given my opinions of you. Please. Take your clique with you and deal with it.

Kassyk
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Hey…Anonymous–I never insinuated that you have tried to hook up with me or want to?…That was someone else that said that–I obviously don’t know you or think that so please don’t put words in my mouth–and I don’t think I’m hot…Jesus…I have confidence in myself as a PERSON…by saying I’m not ugly–doesn’t mean I think I’m a super model. It means I don’t think I am UGLY. Sorry. I apologize for not hating myself.

Telling me I am not a “prize” is honestly just mean. If I am open enough to write this and take the heat…why don’t you be open enough and say who YOU are.

You don’t like me–fine. But maybe you should come out and say who you are…then I can critique things that YOU say on your “blog” or when I have met you.

Loving sex, enjoying lingerie and saying that I am finally happy about myself as a person after years of self-loathing, if that all boils down to me saying over and over that I am “hot”…then apologies.

If you give me your IP I will ban you from my site so you don’t have to deal with me and you will no longer see me writing comments on this board.

Telling me that I am not a “prize” is just mean. You don’t know me and if you think by talking to me while I was probably wasted for 5 minutes and reading my blog that is written in a certain way means you DO…the you are mistaken.

My life is about being a good daughter, worker, friend and person. My blog is a chance to air all the dirty stuff I am internally think.

If you only see me thinking that I am “hot” and needing to “put me in my place” then I don’t know what else to say.

mhm
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“Matt?I see what you mean and I agree. I’m just saying that I look good in the light and I love sex ”

Does this make your point any more valid? Is this something that we have to know? Would your argument be less worthy if you didn’t look good in the light and didn’t like sex?

KassyK
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Mhm–This is the last comment I write. Apparently I come off obscenely arrogant on this site so I will leave now. I apologize for offending anyone with my arrogance. Sincerely. I do not think of myself as better than any other human being. I am a good person with a good heart. If you guys all just see me as arrogant fuck, I’ll leave now. I try to explain things and I come off sounding horrible so there I go–poof.

I’m sure most of you “men” will say good riddance.

Since no matter what I write, you’ll view me in a certain way–I’ll respond to your comment about DC and fuglies.

I’ve gotten hit on way more in NYC(where I am at least once every 6 weeks), Europe & Miami than I EVER have in DC. I actually don’t do particuraly well here considering I am not super dark and ethnic looking or super blonde and Waspy.

Just so you know.

And again for the last time. I am confident but I do not think I am the best looking girl in the room. Apparently feeling good about yourself is a crime here at “man” central.

Good luck with everything. PEACE.

Liz
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The Internet: Serious Business.

Anonymous
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Imagine this: you’re out with someone who laughs at your jokes, touches your arm playfully, listens to you talk, and calls you before it’s 2 a.m. on Friday night. You were out with this person last week, and a few days before that, too – this person seems interested in you. This person actually likes you. And it’s almost assuredly in large part because you have not yet f*cked.

And you have not yet f*cked because last week after you went out, this person did try to do something or another but you emphatically pushed the person away. Which is what you did the date before – emphatically, as was necessary. And what you did when you met this person after you were four martinis into the night in some smoky bar in Georgetown.

Why did you do this? Was it:

a)because you had the extreme self-restraint and foresight to continuously hold yourself back from this amazingly beautiful human being, so that you could develop this substantial, wonderful relationship, or,

b)was it because you just weren’t that into him in the first place?

Guys play the game to get the girl who’s not that into them. Then they bemoan their gold-digging, selfish ways, while those girls are either out sleeping with the fun, hot ones or getting used to the not-as-attractive ones who still call.

Chaco, where were you when I was still out ‘slutting’ around, trying to find just one guy I liked with your incite and common sense?

JP
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JP
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What girl has ever had sex the day you meet her?

That’s never happened to me. Maybe I get read as the “free dinner” type. Yuck.

tsm
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tsm
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I very much agree. There are generally two sources to this ridiculous behavior – either

1) the absurd belief that no “proper” woman would actually enjoy sex without a serious relationship – or, if the man in question isn’t this dumb, perhaps

2) the inability to distinguish between a sane woman who actually enjoys sex and the crazy, unstable bunny-boiler type (who might also seek sex with you immediately, but for the wrong reasons).

Chaco
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Chaco
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JP: What girl has ever had sex the day you meet her? That’s never happened to me. Maybe I get read as the ?free dinner? type. Yuck.

Dude, you’d be surprised at what goes on out there. That’s all I’ll say.

Elsa
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Elsa
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Nice post.

It is interesting, isn’t it..

(and I’m writing from the perspective of a girl who has never had a guy not call so I can think objectively about this)

it reminds me of supply/demand dynamics in economics–specifically, the way something that is scarce/expensive, that we have to put in a lot of work to get, is almost always more attractive. So having bagged a girl…a guy who is not interested in a long term connection at this point in his life (or with this particular girl) will no longer find her quite as attractive.

That would explain the general trend.

Of course, it is often (though not always) true that truly valuable things do cost more (in hard work, money, patience, effort, what have you)..

Elsa
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Elsa
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aha – also, it is much harder to break things off with a girl if you have been with her multiple times, because both guys and girls confuse meaningless sex, once it is repeated, with the beginnings of a relationship..

plus, average girls are a dime a dozen..so it’s just easier not to call i would think.