Brazilian, Argentine, & American Girls

Previously:

Brazilian: “Where are you from?”
Argentine: *Crickets*
American: “What do you do?”

Brazilian: Open toe slippers with some design
Argentine: Closed toe
American: Target brand flip flops

Brazilian: Hair length depends on current life stage
Argentine: Has either Argentine Girl Haircut #1 (long, with bangs) or Argentine Girl Haircut #2 (long, without bangs)
American: Short because long hair was “boring” or “too much work”

Brazilian: Makeout within 30 minutes
Argentine: Makeout if you played the game right, if the moon is aligned with Jupiter, and if her friends and little cousins like you
American: Makeout within 90 minutes

brazilian-ass.jpgBrazilian: Takes off your jeans and boxers
Argentine: Takes off her big earrings
American: Takes off her shoes

Brazilian: She feels comfortable after sex
Argentine: She feels like she just carried out an important life decision after sex
American: She feels like a slut after sex

Brazilian: Clingy
Argentine: Distant
American: Low self-esteem

Brazilian: Gives you head
Argentine: Does not give you head
American: Gives you head if you imply / ask, but secretly hates it

Brazilian: Anal region exploration strongly encouraged
Argentine: Anal regions forbidden
American: Depends on level of intoxication

Brazilian: Has two or three caiprinha’s
Argentine: Has only one drink, the free one that came with her cover charge
American: Stops drinking when she can no longer feel her friends judging her

Brazilian: Knows how to shake and jiggle her entire body
Argentine: Knows how to dance to house music without showing any sexuality
American: Knows how to rub her ass on a man’s erection

Brazilian: Five second marathon eye contact
Argentine: No eye contact
American: Multiple one second eye contacts

Brazilian: Treats you so well you wonder why she likes you that much
Argentine: Treats you like you are that guy on the corner selling hot dogs
American: Treats you like her favorite coworker

Brazilian: Asks you if you are on Orkut
Argentine: Asks you if you are on MSN chat
American: Google’s you the second she finds out your last name. Uses results to judge your long-term relationship potential.

Brazilian: Licks your face
Argentine: Kisses like her parents are watching
American: Sucks your neck

Brazilian:Dance With Me” by 112
Argentine:Enjoy The Silence” by Depeche Mode
American:Back That Ass Up” by Juvenile

Brazilian: Most extra fat winds up in ass
Argentine: Borderline anorexic
American: Rolls of meat around waist

Brazilian: “I like you”
Argentine: Pretends she doesn’t like you when she really does
American: “You’re nice”

Brazilian: Likes social drinking with friends
Argentine: Likes people watching with friends
American: Likes watching TV alone at home with tub of ice cream

Brazilian: Ugly tattoos
Argentine: Ugly piercings and ugly sunglasses
American: Ugly sunglasses

Brazilian: “I need to bang that.”
Argentine: “Wow she is really pretty.”
American: “She looks easy.”

Brazilian: Always answers the phone
Argentine: Always responds to text messages
American: Would miss the call from the President of France if he happened to call

Brazilian: If you like emotional girls who want to please you
Argentine: If you like frigid girls who chain smoke and act stupid
American: If you like frigid girls who act stupid

It is possible that my experience with Brazilian girls have been extraordinary, but then I wouldn’t be the only one. Second place is hard to place; if the Argentine girl and American girl are equally attractive, I don’t think it makes a large enough difference, but since Argentines are much cuter, it will depend on how much you value a pretty face.

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Bobby Rio
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Bobby Rio
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Funny and True

Bobby Rio’s last blog post: Super Tuesday Sale at Busted Tees.

Ava V
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Ava V
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That’s hysterical. I don’t know anything about brazilians or argentines, but everything about american girls is straight on.

Ava V’s last blog post: Doing Too Much.

Beach Bum
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Beach Bum
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Well, the Brazilian here, despite being called clingy and emotional (damn, am I?) is flattered (I guess we aim to please, huh?).

Now I’m trying to figure out what my 10 years in the US have done to me… I think I’m now on the multiple 1 second eye contacts — thanks for pointing that out, no wonder I never meet anyone anymore! I’ll aim for 5 seconds from now on!!

Beach Bum’s last blog post: Ash Wednesday.

Sudamericana
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Sudamericana
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Ouch! :sad2:

Funny anyway…

I guess it’s good that after 5 years living abroad I am hopefully losing some of the negative traits we Argentine girls seem to have. But again, why would we treat someone nice if he is usually an asshole with girls? I know this treatment is generalised towards guys in general. But in some cases, I think it is well deserved.

The Dude
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The Dude
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Amazing post. I think I need to visit Rio…

Jo
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Jo
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Well you def put the Brazilians on a pedestal there. I had to admit it but Brazilian women are emotional and clingy and possessive, but that’s part of the package.

Jo’s last blog post: If it makes you happy.

virgle kent
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I want the REAL pictures, you know what I’m talking about

spaceman
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spaceman
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virgle is right.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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You nailed American girls. But why did you leave out “ugly tattoos” for them?

In Rio, the tattoos you see might just be a part of beach culture. In the US these days, tattoos are an almost obligatory rite of passage for American girls to boost their self-esteem and fit in with the crowd.

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

dchero
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dchero
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Can we start banning short hair on girls? At least on the ones who aren’t married? I guess the best we could do is come up with an insulting name for them and then not let them into the best nightspots. I’m going to work on this.

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Joe T.
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Joe T.
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American: Rolls of meat around waist….

So true. This has been talked about before here, too.

I’ve read some medical research literature which is very scary, and not widely reported in the media (probably because of industry lobbyists).

These “rolls of meat” in American women are caused by some serious hormonal changes.

The hormonal changes are caused, most probably, by DNA mutations at the chromosomal level, and so, they’re most likely permanent.

This has resulted in the loss of the hourglass figure in American women…

http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2005/11/21/the_end_of_the_hourglass_figure.php

Some of this may be the effects of the Pill, but most of it is most likely related to the presence of synthetic polymer molecules in the environment, in the food supply, etc., which are leached from plastic food containers, and also dumped into the environment by the chemical industry.

The same chemicals are also responsible for frogs with extra limbs and other weird mutations found in amphibians in Minnesota, around the Great Lakes, etc.

The same, or similar chemicals are also probably responsible for the astonishing decline in the sperm count of US males over the past 30 years or so, and the increase in certain congenital deformities in humans.

These environmentally-caused aberrations are happening much more in the US than in other first-world countries because our government has massively weakened enforcement of environmental laws, gutted the EPA and FDA, and totally caved in to the chemical industry lobby.

Switzerland was recently ranked #1 in the world for environmental performance. It is really, really clean there. Not just clean streets. Very clean water. Very clean air. Well-regulated food supply. No toxins of any kind dumped anywhere.

http://www.redorbit.com/news/science/1229955/switzerland_produces_best_environmental_performance_experts/index.html?source=r_science

Not coincidentally, their government doesn’t cave into any chemical lobby. They have strong laws, plus they enforce them.

And you should see the women there…. mmmm! Every woman under 45 has a beautiful figure with the perfect hourglass shape. They actually have waists over there. Almost down to the last girl. No muffin tops. No rolls of meat.

Coincidence?

I dunno.

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

Evan
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Evan
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I’d never expect the President of France to be an alpha, but google image search Carla Bruni, his new wife.

Also, a few good articles that ask if there’s any reason for men to get married anymore:
http://pajamasmedia.com/2008/02/ask_dr_helen_8.php
http://pajamasmedia.com/2007/10/ask_dr_helen_6.php

Generate
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Generate
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Great post.

roissy
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roissy
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outstanding. so many of these ring true. tell me again why you are leaving rio?

Argentine: Asks you if you are on MSN chat

too funny. an argentine girl i hooked up with left town and asked me to keep in touch via msn chat.

roissy’s last blog post: Top Two Rules For Dating Younger Women.

Arjewtino
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The thing about Argy girls is that they become everything a Brazilian woman is when you start a relationship with them. Until then, good luck trying to talk to them.

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Sudamericana
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Sudamericana
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Arjewtino could not have put it better… and that’s why there is a side of Argentine girls that Roosh will never get to know (of course he would not give a damn about it anyway!).

Ava V
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Ava V
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DC Hero,

Come up with any ideas yet? And what age is it acceptable for women if unmarried to have short hair?

Ava V’s last blog post: Her Own Style.

leena
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leena
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what kind of american girls have you been hooking up with / hanging out with???

eugenius
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eugenius
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the tub of ice cream is funny as hell…….I dont know why but brazillian girls love anal

Welcome home brotha…..welcome home

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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Things that should be banned in the US:

1) Young white people (male and female) wearing flip-flops in any setting other than the beach. (Including, but not limited to, airports; restaurants; movie theaters; college campuses and classrooms; parties; bars; nightclubs.)

2) Young white males with “spikey” haircuts.

3) Young white females with “tramp stamp” tattoos on their lower backs.

4) Females between 20 and 30 who insert “fuck” and/or “fuckin'” into every sentence, to sound tough or impress guys. (Note: this injunction doesn’t apply if they are actually a drug dealer, police detective, bail bondswoman, heart/brain surgeon, or investment banker making greater than $200,000 a year.)

5) “Hipsters” of any age or sex who spend their whole day listening to the Flaming Lips and reading Anime/Manga comics.

6) Anyone of any age or sex who earns less than $200,000 and votes for a Republican in any election.

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

Ben
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Ben
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How old are you Joe T? You sound like that old man who sits on his lawn and complains to everyone that walks by his house about the young whipper snappers of today and how things were so much better in the 1930s.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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And let me guess Ben — you must be that damn corn-fed white college kid with the spikey hair, surfer shorts and flip flops, speaking in “fuck patois” in the check-in line at the airport?

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

Trin
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Trin
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Good grief Joe T. Muffin tops are fat rolls on girls trying to squeeze into low rise pants that are too tight. Those rolls showed up when low rises did. The roll would go away if they ate properly and got a little exercise. Your DNA theory is a crock of s*&t.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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I don’t claim to know for sure, Trin. But I have my suspicions. Look at this:

http://www.phfactor.net/wp/2007/07/19/interesting-paper-one-cause-of-obesity-found/

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

Rigoberto
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Rigoberto
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“6) Anyone of any age or sex who earns less than $200,000 and votes for a Republican in any election.”

Fucking retarded. I guess all us spics should just step in line and vote for hillary, huh?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Wow, I need to get the fuck out of dc and get me some Brazilian Pussy.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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Rigoberto, I don’t think she’s the only choice at this point. 🙂

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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And McCain is a decent guy. I’ll give ppl who like McCain a pass.

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

joe t is gay
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joe t is gay
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joe t, you are a useless troll with misinformed cornhole flakes instead of brains

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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dude, did you actually have sex with any women in south america? any at all? any kool stories? any kool pictures?

Genevieve
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Genevieve
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So I guess you like Brazilians the most then? ;]
I’m glad you’re keeping your Flickr updated; so interesting to see the pictures. 🙂

Genevieve’s last blog post: ?What kind of perverse game are you playing?? ?I?m not a pervert!?.

Rigoberto
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Joe T, I don’t know about Mccain. As you know I am a Republican, but when it comes down to it I don’t want another war hawk in office. If I have a choice between Obama and Mccain, I’ll pick Obama.

Rigoberto
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Rigoberto
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I envy roosh. I am Cuban (American) and I have NEVER had sex with anyone from south america. All I ever get my way are gringas malagradecidas.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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Rigoberto, I think McCain is a decent guy simply because he has an independent mind and wasn’t scared to vote against Bush’s tax cuts for the very rich, and supports doing something about things like campaign finance reform and global warming. I agree, his war stance is ridiculously hawkish. But at least he thinks for himself. Maybe that’s why Rush and Ann, and so many others, hate on the guy so much…

Joe T.’s last blog post: United Airlines to Charge Luggage Fees; Other Carriers May Follow.

Rigoberto
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Rigoberto
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Well he has sense changed his opinion on the tax cuts, he is for “extending them” now. I support the tax cuts, but I don’t support the war. The war is costing more and more every day, so I’ll take an exchange of the war ending with the high probability that an Obama administration would end the tax cuts (thanks in part to the the most ridiculous case of class envy I have ever seen in this country). At the very least, we won’t be playing world police anymore.

Rigoberto
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Rigoberto
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wow, “since”. that’s pretty bad.

got tiby
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got tiby
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am rolling!!! But what stage in life is long hair for a brazilian?

got tiby
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got tiby
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Hold up fags why are you talking about politics on this forum this is about Brazilian, Argentina, and American Tits and ass come on lighten up.

Brandon
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Brandon
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I can’t get over how different our experiences with Argentine girls are. Kisses like her parents are watching? My chick was a FREAK. Not to mention the best I’ve had in bed. She was also pretty clingy at first. The first night I met her she told me she fell in love easy. That kind of scared me.

Angela
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Angela
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Haha. I found it hilarious, however…Now maybe this is just my friend and I.
I am American, she is Brazilian. She has the fat in the middle and I have it on the lower section. And damn, the “slutty” thing might be true, she is like, “Oh. He is cute. Go home with him.” to me even if I haven’t even talked to the guy. Hahah. And I believe she answers her phone the same as me, if not less.
The ugly tattoo/ugly sunglasses is dead-on. I mean, I love my sunglasses, but they are the typical, big sunglasses that American girls always buy. Soo…I think that is what you were referring to.

Argentinian girls, I don’t know…My Argentinian [male] friend just says his ex-wife is a cunt. So, they are cunts as far as I know. Haha. WAIT! NO! I did know an Argentinian…Yea, she was sort of slutty. And she was the chubbiest of all of us. So, my experience with her was opposite of yours, I guess. Hah.

Juju
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Juju
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thia is funny i like it

wayes
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wayes
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🙂

Brandon
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Brandon
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A lot of this I find to be true. Girls from Argentina are generally kunts. I would say that most American girls actually have a better attitude. Brazilian girls are unbelieveable. I don’t know if girs from Argentina are hotter, because I’ve never been there, but I know there are a lot of hotties becase I’ve dated a girl from Argentina and she was drop dead gorgeous and there are also a lot of hot Argentines around here. She was a real kunt though. But Brazilian women are so cool and usually really hot.

chris
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chris
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American: Stops drinking when she can no longer feel her friends judging her

hahahahahahahhahahahhahahah….hahahahahahahahha…OMG.

Its funny cause its so true.

Brandon
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Brandon
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Man, I don’t know what it is. Brazilian girls do deffinitely come off easier, but for some reason, Argentine girls like me over Brazilian girls. I am always having Argentine gils trying to get on me. I like the Brazilian girls better but don’t have as much luck. Luckily, Argentine girls are gorgeous, just not the best attitudes.

And.
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And.
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I have just came through your article….and i think you are right, i cannot talk about brazilian or american girls. Because i do not know them much, but what you said about Argentine girls is true for the most part. I am one of those, one of those “different breed of animal” as you said.
Proud to be so? Not sure, but at least that “freakness” makes us special, and so speacial that you devoted part of your time to us. LOL!
Excellent criticism and observation. Keep on da work 😉

Lika
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Lika
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It’s funny how Argentinian girls posting here are proud to be this “special kind of cold bitches”…

I haven’t met many of them (just a sweet one in Europe) but all Argentinian guys I met while traveling were arrogant pricks.

I must add that Brazilians have become much more arrogant these last years (perhaps as a result of their economy)

toocool
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toocool
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So you like brazilian girls cause they are so much easier than American and Argentinian girls. Ok then who would you marry an easy girl thats somewhat pretty and has slept with at least 30 different men (the brazilian) or a very pretty girl who has class and respect for herself (Argentinian girl) ?

Guys just go to brazil to have have sex cause they are so easy. Your not gonna find a good wife out there.

anonimus
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anonimus
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it is true,

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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a girl who likes sex, is always in a good mood and is so friendly can’t be a bad wife.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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it seems you’re portraying argentines as the classiest out of the three.. in my extended experience that’s WAAAY off.
I lived in Argentina for 8 years and I can tell you that all the ones I’ve met were much more.. hm what’s a delicate word.. “open” than brazilian and american girls. they jump in bed immediately, however the chain smoking part was 100% true.
don’t get me wrong, I like argentine girls, but more for a one night stand rather than a relationship. Brazilian girls used to have a reputation as the sex-crazed ones, but going to brazil, you would see that attitude has changed tremendously. I went there hoping for a bit of an easy lay, and my third night there I took a girl back to the hotel from a club after talking to her there for a couple hours. she was more than willing to make out and cuddle, but she was adamant about it absolutely stopping there if I didn’t have plans for a relationship with her. and I didn’t, so I did not get lucky. my expectations turned out to be completely wrong, and while the brazilians were charming and so full of energy, it seemed none of the girls were willing to do anything more than kiss untill I was willing to committ.