Cheddar Cheese Gay Boyfriend Destroyer

Here’s an email I got in response to a newsletter email I sent about a failed pick-up attempt on the subway…


Sup brother. You know…there is nothing like picking up a girl in front of a vigilant crowd on an aluminum tin can shooting through the darkness of DC in an underground tunnel.

You know…now that I think about it.

Our ancestors, the ones whose idea of “game” was to bark at the boom, lead large groups of gorilla-like men into war against other sub-human tribes, killing something to eat every night. They would be fucking proud of your subway pick up.

Their pick up line was to take out their muddy cock and bang the girl of their choice in some cave in northern Europe.

To you my friend I say…

“Let’s kill us something to eat tonight.”

Not many have the balls to pull an approach to a girl in the subway.

But the truth is we’re all cavemen in suits. Not suggesting we whip out our muddy cocks but, fuck it….it takes a man to look at something in front of him and say “I don’t give a shit…..I want THAT.”

You know what I mean?

No clever movie lines.

No cheddar cheese gay boyfriend destroyer.

No thought.


I think dating sites and all this bullshit that goes along with them is retarded. Every son on this planet deserves to know that his father met his mother somewhere and had the balls to pick her up.

I mean, how gay is it to say I met someone on the Internet.

“My mom and dad met on the Internet because she’s a recluse and my father had no balls. Wow look at the time….time to make love to my hand.”

You know what I’m saying.


Thanks for the story man.

Something to read before your commute to work.

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