I love Cosmopolitan magazine. For about a year I have been buying Cosmo every month and reading through it with my girlfriend. It’s great fun: articles about sex, pictures of hot girls, lots of lingerie ads. Hell, it’s better than a lot of men’s magazines.
On the late, great, FDDC I used to tell shy guys who couldn’t bust a move on chicks to check out Cosmo for living proof that women love sex and want plenty of it. Case in point, let’s review the cover of this month’s edition:
SEX Uncensored: Your 10 Most Private Questions Answered.
(one of the questions in the article is, “What is the right way to get into 69?”)
BEDSIDE ASTROLOGER 2007: Find Out What’s in Store…in Life, Love, and Lust
(on the 15th my girlfriend’s “inner badgirl is unleashed” by the “brazen Moon”)
Your SEXIEST Haircut Ever
(for inspiration, the article has pictures of movie stars with the “sexiest hair cuts of all time”. Mia Farrow, 1967 anyone?)
Chick Behavior that Baffles the Hell out of Guys
(the list includes why women have 3x as many clothes in their closets as men, but always complain they “have nothing to wear”)
Carmen Electra: Bouncing Back From Heartache
(I didn’t care enough to read that one)
HOT NEW SEX TRICK: This Mind Blowing, Box-Spring Breaking Technique Will Intensify Everything He Feels
(tells girls to slow down and tease a lot before letting their man finish)
How to Decode Your Body’s Signs That Something’s Wrong
(this is the token health tip. I couldn’t be bothered to read it).
PLUS: Make Your Legs Look a Mile Long
(includes fashion tips like “avoid in-between lengths” for jeans and skirts)
What is interesting about Cosmo is the reaction it provokes from women when you mention it to them. Most women SWEAR they don’t read it, but somehow they always seem to know what a recent article said. I knew one women in grad school who swore she hated Cosmo, but when I visited her room discovered several copies of it laying on her dresser. My wonderful girlfriend isn’t immune to the strange love-hate relationship women have with Cosmo. When we are in a store together and I suggest buying the latest edition, she will always say, “Oh no, I don’t want to buy something trashy like that.” But when I buy it myself and bring it home as a present, she will say “Oooh, cool!” and we will soon sit down to our monthly ritual of reading it together. It’s like Cosmo is a guilty, socially inappropriate pleasure, to be indulged in secret but condemned in public.
As far as I am concerned Cosmo serves the highly useful purpose of teaching girls how to look better and be kinkier in bed. As such, I hope women learn to publicly embrace their now clandestine love of Cosmo. Wanting to look hotter and please better can only make the world a better place.