Deep Thoughts

My beloved cat Furball loved to masturbate on my pillows, which I didn’t like this since he would ejaculate a couple drops of semen on my pillow case. Every time I caught him jerking off I’d spray some water on him and he’d run away mid-jerk only to come back later and to attempt to finish himself off, whereby the process would repeat. For a stretch of time I must have given him the most horrible case of blue balls ever experienced by a feline. But then I thought about it. If I was masturbating, would I want someone throwing cold water on me? No. That would be cruel.

After that I let him jerk off whenever and wherever he pleased. Who am I to tell another animal how to live its life? He wasn’t telling me how to live mine, and he didn’t even ask to live with me. In fact he was taken from his mother as a baby and bought on the open market like a slave, and I expected him to serve me and make my life better. And I got mad when he wanted to blow a load off! I was the unevolved beast, not him.

I loved him.

jerk.jpg

Related Posts For You

newest oldest most voted
Dave in ME
Guest
Dave in ME
Offline

Thanks for the anecdote. Cats are funny critters – I have 4 and never tire of watching their antics. I assume your little beatie was never neutered, hence the need to blow a load?

Nina
Guest
Nina
Offline

Damn!
You are a cat person! I should know that!

finefantastic
Guest

amazing.

my cat mark always masturbates on any available polar fleece in the house. water, shaming, threats…nothing will deter him.

i am reminded of what my friend suzanne said when my other friend was complaining about a homeless man who flashed her while holding a newspaper over most of his face.

“oh honey…live and let live.”

finefantastic’s last blog post: Camille. (unfinished).

DF
Guest
DF
Offline

Dogs typically have a keener sense of who is dominant and master, obeying commands with training. Cats on the other hand, do not.

Now I’ve known players with all kinds of pets but all the so-called “naturals” had an affinity for dogs. Just sayin.

roissy
Guest
roissy
Offline

is furball in the middle of rubbing one out in that photo? he’s got the look of concentration.

give the little guy some privacy! :hump:

roissy’s last blog post: She Is At It Again.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

Roosh I must say, this is much higher quality than your average friday posts. Nice work!

Nic
Guest
Nic
Offline

Roosh, this is cat porn.

Gay cat porn.

Jeanne Marie
Guest
Jeanne Marie
Offline

Very funny.

Yakov
Guest
Yakov
Offline

Roosh,

Do you have pets now?

Jon
Guest
Jon
Offline

Brilliant, although this feels like a post that came out of your “how to write a blog post” video

Jon’s last blog post: All you iPhone users are going DOWN!.

Joe
Guest
Joe
Offline

you raise an issue I ponder every now and then…the “happiness” of other species.

I agree with the “naturals and dogs” observation. Seems to be an alpha, manly trait. Maybe its that they are more in touch with their animalistic side

Never seen any of my cats masterbate. Maybe I don’t know what to look for…maybe they’ve all been prudes…maybe they do it behind closed doors like me (though I’ve had one walk in on me when my door wasn’t completely shut and I was home alone! LOL weird experience to have an animal look at you in that context (I feel like ive shared too much, i barely know you guys! Haha god I’m glad this whole blog comment shit is anonymous!)

panzerchic
Guest
panzerchic
Offline

Thank you, thank you, thank you for clarifying “credit default swaps.” I have a serious case of stupid when it comes to finances. But that’s because I don’t have any money. I thought your explanation was so good I noted your blog site in my blog. I didn’t realize I should have given it a rating ie. G PG R X. No one reads my blogs anyway so I guess it doesn’t matter. Looks like some of your thinking only went as deep as your penis. But that’s good.

I’m a cat lover and have had dozens of pet cats, but never once did I see any of the toms masturbate. One peed in my hair once. I just thought he was marking me as his territory. Well, you learn something everyday.