Destruction Of The Ego

Four men got together in a little townhouse. It wasn’t to play poker or watch a football game. It also wasn’t to masturbate. No, it was for something entirely different.

They were all in their early 20s and bros since childhood, having spent thousands of cumulative hours together. Everyone knew everyone else’s strengths and weaknesses, and each friend has seen at least one other have sex with a girl. Many times they’ve gotten each other out of tight binds, from drunken fights to incidents with the police. Their friendship reminds me a little of Fight Club.

Lately they’ve been disappointed with their sexual results because they’re not getting with the women they desire. They prowl the bars and the clubs, but consistency eludes them. It was time for drastic measures. It was time to do something they suspected would be necessary to get to the next level. No more coddling, no more “good job bro you’ll get it next time.” They were all ready for changes.

Janus was the first to speak.

“Steve, when you talk to a girl you blink way too much. They make eye drops for that. You also jerk your neck back and forth. Your mannerisms are distracting and makes you look like a retard.”

Something inside Steve burned. He didn’t realize that he blinked a lot. He stewed for a minute, then looked to the man next to him and said, “Rolf, you come across as creepy. You’re touching girls on their ass right off the bat, and even though girls like your look, that pushes them away. Don’t just start grabbing their bits—we’re not in college anymore.”

Rolf liked being “aggressive“—that was his style—but he had to come to terms that it wasn’t seeing the same results as before. He pursed his lips and looked at Bruno. “Bruno, you laugh at your own lame jokes. If the girl isn’t laughing, you shouldn’t either. Watch some more comedies or something, but it’s better not to say anything than say lame shit.”

Bruno loved his own jokes. In fact he was tinkering with the idea of working on a comedy book. He couldn’t believe Rolf thought that was his main problem with women. He took a deep breath and looked to Janus.

“Janus, your style sucks. You’re wearing the same shit I did five years ago. It just looks off. Plus you’re fat. You want to get with hot girls yet you need to lose at least 20 pounds. There’s no excuse for that.”

Then there was silence. Every man in that room was seething. They couldn’t even look at each other. Five minutes passed until Janus spoke.

“Rolf you need to stop shaving your chest and waxing your eyebrows. Girls have asked me if you’re a fag.” Rolf didn’t flinch. If you looked close enough you could pick up a barely perceptible head nod.

Then Rolf looked at Steve. “You’re too obsessed with phone numbers. You have a billion phone numbers but only have gotten laid once in the past six months. No more numbers man!”

Then something interesting happened: Steve took out a piece of paper and pen and started taking notes.

“Bruno if you’re going to wear those tight shirts you should bulk up a little.”

“Janus you don’t look good with short hair because your head is too big. Have you thought about growing it out?”

“Rolf you look better when you wear black. Your pastel shirts make you look pale and small.”

“Steve your body odor can be overwhelming. Have you tried a deodorant stone?”

“Bruno brush your teeth before you go out.”

It went on like this for one hour. They shared things they’ve known forever but didn’t have the heart to tell each other. All their egos were now ripped out from their chest and placed in the middle of the circle. The session stung initially, but soon they were hungry for more suggestions—all because they wanted more for themselves. It took a painful meeting to admit that they weren’t perfect human beings and needed to make serious changes. Each one now had a plan and immediately begun to work on it.

Steve saw an eye doctor and had fake conversations with himself in the mirror to catch his twitching. He saw another doctor who prescribed him a strong anti-perspirant with potent levels of aluminum that are fatal to small animals.

Rolf toned down his creepy vibe, focused more on humor, and upgraded his wardrobe after finding a style consultant on Craigslist.

Bruno bought a couple comedy manuals and watched every episode of Seinfeld twice (after spending two weeks downloading the entire series to his computer). He started hitting the gym three times a week along with brushing and flossing right before he went out.

Janus learned how to cook healthy food and lost much more than twenty pounds. He grew out his hair and beard, which started to get him compliments.

Fast forward one year later, and sadly they only saw each other once or twice a month. They were each so busy with multiple women that their main way of communicating was forwarding around pictures of the girls they were fucking.

The irony of what success did to their friendships was not lost on them.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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The Private Man
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When unleashed and taken seriously, the collective wisdom of men is incredible and powerful.

Gmac
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Gmac
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What’s funny is guys can lay down their egos for some quality man talk and actually improve themselves…

…While women will lie to other women’s faces by saying how incredible they both look so they can get a leg up on their competition (each other).

It’s like the elusive albino black sheep — you just can’t find women who are ‘that’ brutally honest with one another, much less a group of them.

Carl Sagan
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Carl Sagan
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Guys getting real with the story. Good shit.

virlge kent
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Could you see girls ever coming close to doing anything like this…..

Of course not since they’re so competitive I love reading on websites,

“What! Fat! fuck that girlfriend, love yourself fuck what all the haters think”

yeah cause that’s really going to help her in the long run.

Good shit Roosh

Yams
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Yams
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One time I bought a DSLR camera and I was testing it out the lens by doing some fake interviews on film. What I saw after the fact was a wake up call. I never knew that I had certain mannerisms when I spoke and it was easier to spot because it was like looking at a stranger.

I’m sure it is easier to spot flaws in other people when we observe them but it is even harder when trying to critic yourself.

Firepower
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Firepower
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“Destruction Of The Ego”
is impossible
if one has
a blog

Workshy Joe
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Yams advice (comment 6) is dead right.

Watching myself on film or looking at myself in photographs is always a surprise.

The stuff I was worried about was all in my head, while other things were off that I wasn’t even aware of.

chad
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chad
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A couple of my friends really helped me put one night when they told me my mouth is always slightly open. I had no idea I was a mouth breather. Now I look a lot more intelligent!

Brian
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Brian
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It is said that image is everything. Our image (the way we physically look to women and their perception of our personality) is a main factor in if a woman will go out with us or not.
Even just 10 pounds can be the difference from looking out of shape or looking like a stud. For years before I knew better I dressed like a yuppie even though I did not like it and got no results with women. Then, I asked myself why am I not getting results with women to find what I could start to change, and I also looked at the guys who were getting results with women. Now that I dress cooler, I like it better myself and women look at me like a rock-star. So, just different shirts and pants make a huge difference in ones image.
Therefore, it’s beneficial to get in the habit of asking ourselves and encouraging others often for the bad news of how they view us so that we can find ways that we can improve our image and thus get more results.

Firepower
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Firepower
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These suggestions are the dainty, fussing types of behavior fixes that evaporate as soon as the attention wavers to the next mini-body language tip.

If you think you can trick your own subconscious…best of luck…

Still, I’d like to see some conquest-photos passed around here.

Gmac
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Gmac
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Of course you can trick your own subconscious. How do you think people change who they are over time? Fake it till you make it.

Mannerisms and behaviors can all be unlearned with the right approach and strong discipline. Being aware of your own body ‘is’ the trick — I’m working on nail-biting…

Firepower
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Firepower
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Gmac

Of course you can trick your own subconscious. How do you think people change who they are over time? Fake it till you make it.

Yeah, that fake it trick works really well when criminals use it in police interrogations. They really fool them every time.

Giovonny
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Giovonny
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We all need this kind if brutal honesty.

Most of the guys reading this could probably use 4 friends like this to help them.

Firepower
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Firepower
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gio, if a guy can’t get laid with four friends social proofing him, all the sniffing pits, suppressing tics and self-administered psychological enemas ain’t gonna help

Gmac
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Gmac
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…Really?

We’re not talking about hiding mannerisms under pressure from professionals trained in detection… this is about changing your habits over time so you don’t do shit that makes you look stupid in public situations.

Are you honestly going to tell me you’ve never stopped doing something habitual because it was detrimental to your social life, health, etc. (because that’s exactly what we’re talking about)?

-biting your nails
-blinking too much
-being fidgety
-saying “like” or some other word too much
-having a weird walk
-crossing your arms
-holding a glass with your pinky out
-etc.

Being “conscious” and “aware” of what you are doing is the key to hiding, stopping, and unlearning these types of behaviors.

You’d have to be pretty weak-minded and/or poorly disciplined if you can’t train or control yourself with enough time and patience.

pogobor99
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pogobor99
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Good post…

*two cents*

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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THANK YOU for getting rid of Firepower. It’s pathetic to see a guy spend so much time mocking other people as losers when his whole reason for living is to do some lame try-hard snarky comedy routine in blog comments all over the blogosphere. I wish the dude would start his own blog if he thinks he’s such a funny know it all, and see how much readership he gets.

No one would try as hard with the comedy if he wasn’t secretly desperately craving approval, no matter how superior he acts.

Sparks123
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Sparks123
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He grew out his hair and beard, which started to get him compliments.

What percentage of men actually look better to women when they have a beard? Roosh is certainly one of them, but I don’t think the figure is higher than 20%.

Mrs. Valizadeth
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Mrs. Valizadeth
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Rooshy, are you sexually active again??? Are you using condoms as I had told you??? Don’t lie to your Mother or your Dad’s basement will be off-limits to you!!

I’ve read your previous post and I’m shocked!! So, is my only role, as a woman, to take care of ….. and casa?????

It’s such a disappointment to run into old friends and having to explain what have you become. Yes, my boy has graduated… years ago. No, hasn’t cured cancer yet (he’s working on herpes right now). I tell them you’re a “writer” but of course everybody knows it’s just a code for “unemployed.” Condoms, Rooshy boy!! It’s the only thing I want from you anymore! We’ll buy you a custom suit!!

Mrs. Valizadeth
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Mrs. Valizadeth
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As far as this post… why are you telling your silly readers this fairy tale? If the boys weren’t good with women to start with, there’s nothing they could have taught each other. Take advises from women if you want women, NOT from your homo-looking twitching smelly masturbator friends! Otherwise, it’s like a blind man leading a one-eyed one.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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they were such good bros that they’d get together to stroke it!? in a circle jerk or just same room while playing video games?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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“Take advises from women if you want women…”

That is one of the all-time greatest lies. The only relevant advice I would take from a woman is fashion, everything else they tell you about what they want is crap.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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Excellent post. It is often impossible to see the forest for the trees. Constructive criticism is a great way to get a better idea of your strengths and weaknesses as a human being.

9 Brian

It is said that image is everything. Our image (the way we physically look to women and their perception of our personality) is a main factor in if a woman will go out with us or not. Even just 10 pounds can be the difference from looking out of shape or looking like a stud.

Ten extra pounds on me makes a HUGE difference.

I look young for my age and carry extra weight fairly well on most of my body, with the exception of my face.

When I get below 190 I get WAY more attention from women. It has to be due to the difference in the appearance of my face. I don’t think it is because I get that much better looking when I drop the weight- it’s probably because when I lose the excess under my chin and the overall puffiness it makes me look that much more masculine.

InterestedParty
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InterestedParty
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Another gem Roosh. I like the theme of this and yesterday’s post (even though I disagreed with a lot of yesterday’s post). That theme is YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOURSELF if you want success with anything.

Clothes, hygiene, job, fitness, whatever. You WILL get more success with women the better you do in these areas.

The problem of doing all this in DC is that, most venues in DC don’t have many attractive women. You also have to be around attractive women to pick them up. You need to make your American base a different city.

P. Bateman
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P. Bateman
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These are friends every man should have. At least they aren’t seeing less of each other because they are married to dominant women who’s idea of fun is charades with other couples.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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“Take advises from women if you want women”.

Nope. All advice I’ve ever gotten from women was to act like a polite beta.

Mrs. Valizadeth No. 1 Fan.
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Mrs. Valizadeth No. 1 Fan.
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Mrs. Valizadeth, I will give you shiny gold star for ‘Good Effort’ in attempting to malign others and two paper bags, one to put over face and another just in case it comes off. Also, memorise this missy, you’re only role in life as woman is to cook, clean and be fucked good. If you fail to conduct any of these fundamental requirements you should be kicked to curb for all the pathetic Beta fools who so kindly compliments you on how “beautiful your curves are!” Secondly, as far as I am concerned, you express your opinion as if any man is in fact interested. Shouldn’t you be cleaning or making a sandwich? Better still, how about you and feminist ‘womyn’ do us all a favour and never reproduce so your inferior genes cease to degrade humanity. Please don’t waste my time in responding, hit the gym instead and work off those lovely “curves” of yours lady. Sincerely, Your No. 1 Fan.

mr t
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mr t
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roosh should try his hand at fiction. next book, after the daygame book, should be a fiction book or maybe a short story series.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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“Four men got together in a little townhouse. It wasn’t to… masturbate.”

– So the boys progressed from masturbating together to giving each other fashion advice. Solid.

Mrs. Valizadeth
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Mrs. Valizadeth
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Silly boys… When I said take advice from women I meant why can’t you all stop masturbating each other in townhouses and on the internets and become friends with some cool chick that’ll show you exactly how to dress and put a good word for you with her girlfriends.

At the very least she’ll teach you how to dress waaay better than that faggy looking eyebrow waxer talking about pastel shirts and hairdos. :)) hahah, I bust out laughing when I saw what my son wrote as an ideal of male success and camaraderie. Trust me, only take faggy waxer’s style advice if you want to attract other faggy waxers. Get yourself a hot girl mentor.

Otherwise, you’ll be like my son. In his 30’s, no job, no money, no prospects, no girls unless he works for it 24/7, an army of internet wankers and a crying Mother at home.

Wize
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Wize
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@Mrs. Valizadeth

Well, if you knew so much about getting males success in the game, shouldn’t your greatest success be your own son?

It’s amazing that a mother, would gloat on a website like this about, her son being a loser. A father would never go on the internet to gloat about their son or daughter being a loser to bunch of unknowns. You can’t even take responsibility for your son’s failure, instead you use it as a punchline.

What a cunt!

Timothy
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Timothy
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Others almost always see us differently than we see ourselves. All criticism isn’t necessarily “constructive” (people often accuse others of not being able to take constructive criticism, when sometimes that criticism isn’t designed to help – but motivated by jealousy, etc.), but if it comes from someone you KNOW has your back, it is truly valuable. Sel-examination can be difficult, as can changing old habits and ingrained mannerisms. Most women are truly incapable of accepting this kind of criticism from their female friends, and DEFINITELY not from a man (unless it’s from that stereotypical gay male friend…HA HA!). It’s only when a woman runs to the gym for the “shape-up after the break-up” routine that she even comes close to admitting a flaw. And even then, she’ll likely repeat the same cycle with the next guy.

Peter
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Peter
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Good shit Roosh.

Gmac
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Gmac
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I know I’m feeding the trolls, but judging by the #’s roosh posted a week or two ago, selling nearly 1000 copies of his book (10-20% or so in e-books) is still close to $9k in one month pre-expenses/fees. Be jealous momma.

Gmac
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Gmac
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…or rather it was 500, whatever, same $$.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Roosh,

I’ve been reading here for a couple of years. I also read ‘Bang’. I have to tell you that you are really growing creatively, as a person and as a writer.

Keep it up.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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That sounds about as close to having a gay sex orgy as you can get without taking your clothes off.
Also, Roosh, the more you write stuff like this the more you come across as the Pastor Ted Haggard of the PUA world.

Griseofulvin
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Griseofulvin
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One of your best posts yet.

Paul
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Paul
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i read bang a months ago…and after getting and losing some amazing poon(she still booty calls though)…i will read it again…and get another poon again…and if i lose it…i’ll jump right back in and get it again…ive learned to reduce my intensity and attachments through this process though my approach has been tense and can be painful…its worth it in the end…i am much more driven to produce my music, get gigs, and just live freely…dominate women, and lead…in fact…im gunna order it right now instead of borrow my friends copy…thanks roosh…bang new orleans (with plenty of condoms)

Shawn
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Shawn
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Roosh: my blunt advice for you: loose the beard. The dead animal on your face is not doing you any favors. You will be better off for it. Trust me.

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Firepower
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Firepower
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Hm, a poster banned for criticizing
a post on the value of criticism.

I better not post on Irony.