Experience Changes Experience

In Chisinau I was on a date with a girl who doesn’t drink. She was going to order tea but I insisted that a toast to our health and happiness was in order. She asked me to order for her so I selected a Riesling. Usually I’d get scotch, but I decided to live dangerously. I ordered a Grand Marnier on the rocks.

We made a toast and took a sip of our drinks. Her face immediately turned sour. “I can’t stand the taste of alcohol,” she said, “but it’s okay, I can drink it.” My GM was very sweet for me, almost like a dessert drink, but I savored the orange flavors and finished it quickly. When I ordered a second round for myself, I urged her to give it a try. “Maybe you’ll like it more than the wine,” I said.

She took a sip and cringed. “That’s awful! How do you drink that?” she asked.

“I’m an alcoholic,” I joked.

She then took a big swallow of her wine, raising her eyebrows as if she was surprised. “My wine tastes a lot better now after I’ve had your drink,” she said.

I wasn’t surprised by her statement. The next logical thing to do was for me to launch into a monologue.

“It’s easy for you to choose which of the two drinks you like best. You didn’t even have to think about it. Now imagine if there were 25 drinks on the table, some of them similar to each other, and some very different, and then I ask you to choose the best.

“You’d taste all 25 to reach your decision, but what would happen is that after the complete tasting, you’d forget the initial drinks you tried. You’d have to taste them again, but the second tasting won’t be perceived by your senses as the same, because your taste has been slightly altered by experiencing the 24 other drinks. What ends up happening is that you can never arrive at an objective favorite. The taste will change with each round and each drink, even though the drink itself, chemically speaking, doesn’t change.”

She looked confused, so I took a step back.

“What I’m saying is one drink affects how you perceive the next drink, which then affects how you will perceive the initial drink if you try to remember it. You will never be able to duplicate a taste, so trying to choose the best becomes very difficult. In life, the more you experience, the harder it is to separate experiences or neatly categorize them. Since experiences constantly affect each other, what happens is they get mixed together, and your mind fails to make meaningful comparisons. It’s hard for humans to compare a lot of things—we’re just not designed to do that.”

“So I shouldn’t experience too much?” she asked.

“No, just understand that too much experience makes it harder to know what you want and what is best for you. The first three countries I’ve been to were Italy, Spain, and Venezuela. If you asked me then which was my favorite, I’d instantly say Spain without having to think about it, just like how you picked the wine over my drink. But now I’ve been to 25 or so countries. Ask me my favorite and I can’t give you a confident answer. I’d be unsure even if you put a gun to my head.

“I keep traveling in order to find the country that fits me best, but the more I keep searching, the harder that decision becomes. In fact, any decision I make today will be one filled with doubt. If I simply picked Spain years ago, when I had little experience, I’d feel less doubt and anxiety than if I picked Poland today, a country that I can confidently say is better than Spain.”

My ramblings started to get out of hand, as I was now speaking for my benefit than to build a connection with her, but I’m glad I worked through it, because it made me realize that out of 25 drinks already on the table, one was sure to go down warm and please my spirit, and that there was little benefit in sampling 25 more.

Read Next: Everything Good That Happens To You Is Bad


  1. litte roosh August 14, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Someone is about to settle down

  2. Tampa August 14, 2013 at 10:30 am

    A lot of similarities between what you’re talking about here and women after they bang 30 dudes. They have a hard time settling because they have tasted too many cocks, and don’t know which one tastes best and which one would be the best fit long term.

    I think men are different though. You can have me test 30 different styles of pizza and one of them will register strong enough that I will say… “I like that one.”

  3. DJ August 14, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I agree with Roosh- after traveling to most of South America and Asia it is tough to say which I like best. For food, definitely Argentina and Singapore. For women to bang, Argentina has the hottest thus far.

  4. TheShido August 14, 2013 at 11:12 am

    Curious to see what happens to you in the next few months. Great write-up.

  5. TRM August 14, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    The immoral corrupt the moral.

  6. jake August 14, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    this is one of the best blog posts I’ve ever read. you’ve always been an inspiration to me. thanks.

  7. Aurini August 14, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    Us humans are more sensitive to loss, than we are to gain; that includes the opportunity cost of saying “No” to option A, when you choose option B.

    So imagine you have a choice between buying a Mustang or a Charger; simple choice. You easily pick out the one you like best, feeling only mild disappointment that it lacks some of the nice features of the other.

    What if you had 20 choices, though? 40? 80? The Mustang is inferior to the truck in carrying capcity, inferior to the smart car in fuel efficiency, inferior to the jeep in winter driving, et cetera, et cetera.

    An example which stands out to me (since I’ve lived it) is trying to order a submarine sandwich at a place I’ve never been to before. Subway I understand – I’ve been there before. But Quiznos?

    Inevitably I end up disappointed with what I got; would a different meat be tastier? Did I get the right veggies on it? Et cetera. Rather than enjoying what I have, I’m worrying that I could have got something better.

    Advertising and consumerism is designed to trigger this need, to create a perpetual dissatisfaction with the things that we have, so that we’ll ceaselessly pursue new things on the hedonic treadmill.

  8. Albatross August 14, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    I wonder what would happen if a girl delivers that monologue on a date with me. It would be very seductive.

  9. Anonymous August 14, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Similar to prior post … I immediately thought of women who have been with a large number of men. They become unable to choose which to stay with … so they just keep sampling.

  10. Lika August 14, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Well at least I know your favorite country is not Moldova.. Just like me Haha
    So, ready to settle in Poland or Romania it seems Or still tempted by “xenophobic” Russia?
    I think you should give Serbia a try.

  11. thirdruffian August 14, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    What’s Moldova like thus far?

  12. seth August 14, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    ie The more cocks a girl ‘experiences’, the less chance that she will be able to hold down a quality relationship.

  13. Duff August 14, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    Good one.

    Don’t you think it’s also the same with women? The more experience I get, the more doubtful I am about finding THE one (which obviously can’t be possibly found out of so many women in this world….)

    My favorite country will always be Argentina for so many different reasons: women, food, wine, futbol, passion, music, fernet… How can Poland match such a country?



  14. thecaptainpower August 14, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    This reminds me of people that think las vegas is a great city….

  15. Harland August 15, 2013 at 2:26 am

    Whaaa? Did this happen or is it creative writing? I’m having a hard time picturing anyone saying this in a foreign language, and an equally hard time picturing an ESL speaker comprehending it in English.

  16. Joe August 15, 2013 at 3:15 am

    With all the notches you’ve had as a player do you feel the same way about that like they were all pretty good and it’s hard to pick out one?

    A metaphor I use is a wine menu- there are so many great wines. Like I thought I loved Northern Italian Chardonnay till I had some Sonoma valley Chardonnay with a pesto flat bread today.’it was the shit man.

    In my US travels I think California women are the shit. They are playful and open those Jersey chicks and hill billy Southerners are too uptight. Atlantic sea board chicks are smart but they just seem too uptight for me. Mormon girls are
    Cool too- they are like super hot feminine brunette a as a group it seems.

    Man Poland sounds awesome- big tit feminine kind intelligent women who love
    Men and need 3 or
    More rounds
    Of hard cock a session. In college I remember this Polish au pair who was so much more stylish- she dressed like a Chicago corporate lawyer and the Americannchicks dressed like bums in old Navy. She gave a damn when a man talked the Americans had attitude and viewed men as animals. She smiled and had a soft hypnotic tone some the Americans had that whiny bitch tone. Polish girls rock.

  17. Joe Dick August 15, 2013 at 5:39 am

    ”I wasn’t surprised by her statement. The next logical thing to do was for me to launch into a monologue.”

    ah ah, you mind-fucker 🙂

  18. nguyenimproved August 15, 2013 at 11:39 am

    This was a bit over my head.
    But I do recall a quote by some famous religious dude who said
    “The truth will make you wiser not happier”.
    Actually it may have been Bono.

  19. MagicPoland August 15, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    Secretary problem
    Actually guys is very simple and we heard in Poland about application of this in Poland.

    The women if she not settle with her first couple of choices will usually reject around 1/3 guys that shee will meet in life(can sleep with them) before settling with next who will be better than guys before(if she can have him). The bigger the envoirment and the more extrovertic she is the more guys she will meet.

    I even wathed a short scientic documentary about it. So for exemple in new york women will encounter around 1000 men in her life so she will choose the besr after 300 mark(but many times she cannot have him and she is growing old so she really fucked up)

    Social media are only extrapoleting it and i have doubt we can stop it;) and the biggest paradox it is how our mather nature created them for best matches and it worked but now there are so many choices that it is really fucked up.

  20. Nick August 15, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    I think the volume of choice in a short period also has an effect. You’ve sampled several dozen countries and dozens of women in just a handful of years. Maybe now is the time to spend more time in one country (or with one woman) not necessarily forever, but long enough to enjoy their subtleties.

    Roosh, you should open a hostel in Poland (with a bar “Bang Bar”) and have it as your home base. When you get the urge to travel you’ll still have somewhere to come back to. I think you’re reaching the point where people should come to you, instead of you always seeking others out. Maybe you can start a chain, except in Denmark, there you can open a kebab stand called “Don’t Bang DenmarKebab”

  21. Inside UoM August 16, 2013 at 3:35 am

    Great analogy. It only becomes harder and harder to compare as the sample size grows.

  22. Lee August 18, 2013 at 1:20 am

    I want to try the drinks though, to see what they are like. For fun.