Excerpt from my book Bang:
I cannot stress how important it is to kiss her by the end of the first date. Except for one exception, a virgin, every girl I have ever had sex with was kissed by that time. If we are aiming for sex by date three, a very reasonable goal, we need to get the first kiss done quickly. Otherwise it will take much longer to get there and you will enter the very dangerous territory of committing to a girl who is probably getting what she wants (attention, validation) at your expense. Kissing a girl by the first date is such a huge and reliable predictor of upcoming sex that I don’t bother calling girls who resist it. With so many girls out there who are comfortable with intimacy, it’d be a waste of your time to go down the rabbit hole of a relationship with a girl who is going to blue ball you. You need to know how a girl is in bed before you decide to make a real investment in her, and it would be a large waste of your resources to wait until date eight or so to find out that she is a dead fish. Don’t buy the juice before you get a squeeze.
Almost two years after these words were first published, they still hold true: I’ve never had sex with a girl I didn’t kiss by the first date. While most of the sex I get now starts with a one night stand, I find it impossible to imagine how sex could occur promptly if the kiss doesn’t happen quickly. Actually I can try:
First date ($60): Awkward hug.
Second date ($35): Kiss on cheek, maybe peck on the lips.
Third date ($120): Kiss on lips, but no groping.
Fourth date ($8): Kiss on lips plus groping.
Fifth date ($45): Hooking up on bed or couch, but no clothes come off. Brief titty grab.
Sixth date ($20): Girl resists at bra removal stage (you fumbled with the hooks for too long).
Seventh date ($2): Sex.
Assuming you have 1-2 dates a week, this process takes a month and an estimated cost of $290. Yeah sure that’s one way to do it. Here’s another way to do it:
First hour ($0): Talking and then make out.
Second hour ($8): Hand firmly planted on her ass.
Third hour ($0): Transition to second club.
Fourth hour ($8): Sloppy hook up with other girls watching, giving me that sexy eye.
Fifth hour ($0): Drunken animal sex on her uncomfortable futon.
There is nothing like extremely fast, impersonal sex to brighten any night. As for the thrill of the chase, isn’t five hours enough? How many hours did our ancestors spend hunting game on the savanna? One hour maximum. Men are built for short, intense bursts of activity, not prolonged courtship where all energy is drained and the power shifts to the object being chased.
Bang details a game for a fast sex goal, not the idea of courtship you may be familiar with through Shakespeare and Hollywood movies in the romantic comedy genre.
Here’s a new review:
I have read Bang and I thought it was a beneficial read. I had recently ended a multi-year relationship and needed to update and refresh my game.
Your book offers valuable insight into human interaction. Although the title of the book is Bang and the subject is mainly pleasure, I think many of the principles can be applied to business in order to help with networking, negotiating, selling, etc.
My results from the book were great. I think the book provided me a way to get in the right mindset to begin approaching (and succeeding) after many years where it was not necessary to approach.
I live a few blocks from the nightlife so I got to the point where I would go out just to run experiments. I found that I could wait until 90 minutes before the club closes and go out. I was having very successful results. I met a group of Brazilian girls one night, and I have been dating one since. I suppose I did not follow your advice when it came to how to prevent a relationship….
You can find out more about what’s inside the book and read additional excerpts on the Bang homepage.