First Impressions

I used to come across an older Russian woman in the hallways of my former job. I would often make eye contact and offer up a small smile but she never reciprocated. I remember even saying hi to her one time only to get silence in return. After that I avoided eye contact and never tried to be nice to her again.

Years later, after half a dozen corporate restructurings, I found myself in the same team as her. Great, I thought. We ended up having lunch in the same break room next to our cubicle / lab farm. She turned out to be the friendliest person on my team, someone I could talk about things besides work. She even agreed with me on my thoughts about American women and spinsters, which would have never been shared unless we had strong rapport.

On my last day of work, I had my exit interview right after lunch. It was time to say goodbye to my lunch bunch. I gave the Russian a hug and she said, “Who would have thought that someone who seemed so mean would be such a nice guy!” Somehow two friendly people came across as total jerks to each other.

First impressions are useful because it serves as a shortcut to help us decide who to associate with and how to treat them. The only problem is when that impression is wrong, when someone is not aware of a rough vibe they are putting out. It’s a question of whether you should give people the benefit of the doubt or not when they don’t immediately respond to you in a positive way. How much perceived slight should you take when getting to know someone? I don’t know, but I will speak louder when saying hi.

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The Dude
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Wow– this is an awesome post. Classic Roosh insight.

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It’s possible she was only nice to you because you were now on her team and she realized she had to work/communicate with you. Anyone who doesn’t crack a smile back or doesn’t respond to a verbal “hi” (consistently) should be considered a dick/bitch. Think about it- you worked for the same company and she didn’t reciprocate the simplest, least aggressive of greetings- a smile.

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Btw….as to her being nice, it might be politicking….

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My first impressions are almost always wrong

miik
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miik
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Ok – this may be way off (and slightly depressing) but it might be on – who knows in this case?
In her living memory from talking/living with survivors, might be alot of bad stuff. The Russians and Germans rang up 7 out of 8 battle deaths in world war II. HUGE numbers of the worst behaviors going. After WWII it was terrible with millions of undereducated “ordealed” vets walking (limping) around and families torn apart on scales unimaginable to us in the US. Add vodka, years on the front without women, and communist rule, and the Russian women have a “living history of below averge treatment”. So to us she’s just being a ? Anyway – it could be not that at all. Maybe she’s from Stalingrad – or maybe she’s an Americanized corporate climber. Roissy says she’ll look old earlier than other Europeans anyway.

Roissy
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first impressions are like generalizations — very useful for navigating the world despite the occasional glitch in the algorithm.

eugenius
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I have a feeling she was told by her Rusian counterparts (like most Russian women and Russian people in general) not to ask or engage in personal conversations with Americans. They seem to think that for Americans it is not socially/in a place of work acceptable. I have heard that a few times already from different people and especially those that recently got here.

Actually, I was just talking about this exact thing with a Russian employee thats currently in Russia who told me that this is what most Russians there are told about Americans. She was surprised that she was able to ask me a non work related question and told me specifically that everyone warned her not to talk about non-work related topics.

Either that or your Russian woman is shy…. smile