A common question I get asked is, “What caused your game to jump to the next level? What was the missing piece?” My answer: “Nothing. Improvement was so slow and gradual I couldn’t tell I was getting better.”
Only when I look back several years can I prove that my quantity and quality both went up, because it never happened that one day I got up and everything became easy. Sure there were moments of clarity where I realized something important, but that didn’t change my results immediately. Improvement with game for me has been like the tide coming in where I can’t tell as it happens. Eventually it just hits you that the waves are much bigger than not too long ago.
There is actually one exception, and it isn’t related to being enlightened or figuring things out. It’s when I come back from a stint abroad. Whenever I grind it out in new countries, no matter how poor they are or how easy there are supposed to be, my results aren’t much higher than what I just experienced in Washington DC, a place where I’ve obsessively honed my game for almost a decade. But then when I return to DC, things become obviously easier. Last year I got so much for putting in so little effort that I honestly believed there was a new female trend that had girls preferring hairy guys above all others.
In South America I’d be working my ass off, earning every bang, and then come back to DC and notice that all of a sudden I don’t have to date anymore to get laid. Or I noticed that reasonable girls are approaching me (instead of only the ugly ones). I didn’t think my game improved while approaching girls for months in Spanish or Portuguese, but apparently something had changed.
I think there are two possible reasons for the jump. The first is that worldly experiences somehow transmutate into a man’s body language and vibe through a process that I don’t understand. I personally don’t think my experiences are that unique since I’ve met a ton of guys doing similar things, but compared to the general population, living for six months in a city like Medellin is definitely out there. The weird thing is I don’t even have to say or insinuate I’ve been to South America anymore to manually build value–it’s like the girls already know that I’m “cool.” They show serious interest in me before I can drop juicy tidbits about myself whereas before that wouldn’t have been the case. Some of my recent experiences make me think I’m ridiculously good looking because girls are taking the initiative to getting me into bed, something that has only started happening in the past two years.
This partially upsets me because now I can’t break down my success like I could before. With my first bangs I knew everything that I did right, but recently there have been too many that I can’t attribute to much more than luck or good logistics. I have a good conversation, start touching, and then she’s down. Even in the bedroom I get a fraction of the resistance I used to, when in the past I remember it being somewhat of a Herculean struggle.
The second reason I experience a jump from a stint abroad is because my game is improving while on the road without realizing it. When I was approaching ten girls a night in Vitoria, speaking child-like sentences in Portuguese, I felt like I was going backwards. I felt like I was losing my sharpness, humor and knowledge on how to get laid with English-speakers. But then I returned home, way out of practice, and got bangs right off the bat, as if struggling for months in a foreign language simultaneously improved my English game.
I went from being an intermediate player to advanced through dedication and forging my own unique path. If any guys tells you he is teaching you “advanced game,” what he’s really teaching you is advanced game that works for him. I can teach beginners better than anyone else else out there, and intermediate guys will get a lot of value out of me as well, but if you’re already consistently getting laid then I don’t know what to tell you besides some tips that merely refresh your memory. Personally I haven’t seen a new game concept in a couple of years, so the only thing that is pushing me higher at this point are unique experiences that make me unlike other men.
You want to jump to the next level of game? Master it right where you’re at, then go somewhere different where you have to master it all over again. Do that a few times and you’ll be unstoppable.