Game That Jumps

A common question I get asked is, “What caused your game to jump to the next level? What was the missing piece?” My answer: “Nothing. Improvement was so slow and gradual I couldn’t tell I was getting better.”

Only when I look back several years can I prove that my quantity and quality both went up, because it never happened that one day I got up and everything became easy. Sure there were moments of clarity where I realized something important, but that didn’t change my results immediately. Improvement with game for me has been like the tide coming in where I can’t tell as it happens. Eventually it just hits you that the waves are much bigger than not too long ago.

There is actually one exception, and it isn’t related to being enlightened or figuring things out. It’s when I come back from a stint abroad. Whenever I grind it out in new countries, no matter how poor they are or how easy there are supposed to be, my results aren’t much higher than what I just experienced in Washington DC, a place where I’ve obsessively honed my game for almost a decade. But then when I return to DC, things become obviously easier. Last year I got so much for putting in so little effort that I honestly believed there was a new female trend that had girls preferring hairy guys above all others.

In South America I’d be working my ass off, earning every bang, and then come back to DC and notice that all of a sudden I don’t have to date anymore to get laid. Or I noticed that reasonable girls are approaching me (instead of only the ugly ones). I didn’t think my game improved while approaching girls for months in Spanish or Portuguese, but apparently something had changed.

I think there are two possible reasons for the jump. The first is that worldly experiences somehow transmutate into a man’s body language and vibe through a process that I don’t understand. I personally don’t think my experiences are that unique since I’ve met a ton of guys doing similar things, but compared to the general population, living for six months in a city like Medellin is definitely out there. The weird thing is I don’t even have to say or insinuate I’ve been to South America anymore to manually build value–it’s like the girls already know that I’m “cool.” They show serious interest in me before I can drop juicy tidbits about myself whereas before that wouldn’t have been the case. Some of my recent experiences make me think I’m ridiculously good looking because girls are taking the initiative to getting me into bed, something that has only started happening in the past two years.

This partially upsets me because now I can’t break down my success like I could before. With my first bangs I knew everything that I did right, but recently there have been too many that I can’t attribute to much more than luck or good logistics. I have a good conversation, start touching, and then she’s down. Even in the bedroom I get a fraction of the resistance I used to, when in the past I remember it being somewhat of a Herculean struggle.

The second reason I experience a jump from a stint abroad is because my game is improving while on the road without realizing it. When I was approaching ten girls a night in Vitoria, speaking child-like sentences in Portuguese, I felt like I was going backwards. I felt like I was losing my sharpness, humor and knowledge on how to get laid with English-speakers. But then I returned home, way out of practice, and got bangs right off the bat, as if struggling for months in a foreign language simultaneously improved my English game.

I went from being an intermediate player to advanced through dedication and forging my own unique path. If any guys tells you he is teaching you “advanced game,” what he’s really teaching you is advanced game that works for him. I can teach beginners better than anyone else else out there, and intermediate guys will get a lot of value out of me as well, but if you’re already consistently getting laid then I don’t know what to tell you besides some tips that merely refresh your memory. Personally I haven’t seen a new game concept in a couple of years, so the only thing that is pushing me higher at this point are unique experiences that make me unlike other men.

You want to jump to the next level of game? Master it right where you’re at, then go somewhere different where you have to master it all over again. Do that a few times and you’ll be unstoppable.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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Flashman
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I think this phenomenon is common for guys who stay in shape and have interesting lives; in the early to mid-thirties, you just enter a zone. I theorize that it is the unconscious projection of experience, confidence, and self-satisfaction, along with conscious cultivation of personal style and worldliness, that makes everything so much easier. The try-hard aspects of your personality and game simply disappear. Plus, with experience, it is easy to sense women’s desire, even across a room, and act on it. Life is good.

425M
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425M
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I thought Muslims weren’t allowed to drink alcohol.

Begby
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sounds like you’re becoming a natural. maybe fake it till you make it works, eh?

Riker
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How cool! I´m really happy for you dude, its inspiring… I think it will happen to me too eventually. I´ve been living abroad for 2 yrs now and when I come back home to visit family I notice I have better game as well.

Pete M
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Surely this is just inner game? Confidence?

Yams
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I noticed this a bit after my travels. I thought I was just going to have a good time and come back with a story to tell but I did not expect to change as person. My confidence level was the highest its ever been and I really just think its the transition from “Hard” to “Easy” mode that is helping your inner game.

The opposite maybe true as well.

Anonymous
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“I theorize that it is the unconscious projection of experience, confidence, and self-satisfaction, along with conscious cultivation of personal style and worldliness, that makes everything so much easier. The try-hard aspects of your personality and game simply disappear”

Great comment. I think that about sums it up.

Its been said that.. “Women can smell fear”

It seems that can also “smell” a man who is “fearless”.

Adventure21c
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Sound advice.

samseau
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There’s also the fact that you’re 31 yrs old. We cannot discount that from a woman’s appreciation of who you are, as many many many types of women like a bit of age in their men, including (especially?) the ones in their prime.

So, it’s really a culmination of many things for you, Roosh:

– Years of practicing game in a wide range of situations and cultures
– Increased financial freedom from the success of your books
– The maturation process taking a visible toll on your character

And now you probably give off a high value-vibe.

It’s good to see all of these things happen for you, as it’s strong evidence for any man who practices game to achieve similar results.

Mark
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I have absolutely felt this too. Doesn’t matter where I go… Europe, South America, Asia. Every time I come back to the US, it gets noticeably easier, and I have not been able to find a reasonable explanation for it other than I just feel more calm/bored when I get back. Like a general confidence and “don’t give a fuck” so subtle that I don’t even notice it in myself, but somehow women around me pick up on it.

Lost Gringo
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@ 1 Flashman

You nailed it. Best post I’ve read on this site.

Mike
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Although the beta males at OK Cupid draw a false conclusion, their data shows what’s happening in your life. In short: You’re getting older.

For a man, 28-36 is the sweet spot for getting women. Check out this chart:

http://cdn.okcimg.com/blog/older_lover/Desirability.png

OK Beta’s analysis here:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-case-for-an-older-woman/

Matt
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One of the biggest reasons is that you are getting older. Women are more attracted to you now than 5-8 years ago.

Mike
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Roosh, yes, based on the the number given alone.

It’s based on how *old* you look, in my experience.

Dark men like you don’t get age cracks and wrinkles, so you’re going to look 30ish longer than most. White guys like me who wear SPF, use serums, and stay in shape are going to stay in the sweet spot.

Women regularly approach me, and have for the past couple of years. I *look* 26-31 (age range women given me). Women have also begun negging me.

So the chart is relevant insofar as you read into it as, “How old does the man look/how old does the chick think the man is?”

Anonymous
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I agree.however,Im 38 and workout.but Im told I look like im in my mid to upper 20’s.I get interest from girl as young as 18.
but One thing I note is that the 18-24 year olds(younger legal range) that “notice” me are more on the “slutty” or rebellius side.
rebelliuos girls seem to not have a problem doin older dudes who dont look like their dads.
Basically any of your girls out there who have more than a 3 and up tattoo minimum is key to easier lays.
And being a Generation X’er, Tattoos arent the norm for us as much as these millanials today,that treat sex like its shaking hands.

VI
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I agree 100%. I spent the last two summers out of the country. After I got back from each trip, I noticed that my game had taken a quantum leap. This despite the fact that I tend to gain a bit of fat and lose some muscle during these long trips.

Jordan
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Interesting tattoos work, more importantly. Everyone’s seen the MOM or the dual revolvers or tribal armband. If you’re gonna get inked, draw it yourself or have a friend design it. Give it meaning. Have a real good story behind it. Most importantly, act likes its not big deal to have it. Obvious displays can be sensed by anyone.

Bernie
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Bernie
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Did you get a piece of pie in Denmark?

samseau
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sollomon II’s analysis on age is better than ok cupid. ok cupid uses data that averages all types of men.

– is the average man fatter as he ages?
– do most men develop worse or better game w/age?
– are the men who join ok cupid at later ages more or less beta specimens of the male species?

I strongly suspect the answers are all negative, and that’s why ok beta has results that do not match the reality of most players.

I think G said it best: ages 25-45 are the prime years of a mans life

Timothy
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I think the confidence it takes to approach in a foreign country, in a foreign language probably translates to a greater sense of confidence and ease when you return home. It’s like working out in a weight vest – when you take it off you feel that much lighter and quicker. You’re thinking less and carrying yourself differently, and women pick up on it. If you’re returning from a warmer climate, you’re looking tanned and relaxed and making yourself stand out from the crowd here.

Bortimus
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It’s just practice. Any skill you work on enough will eventually get to a point where you are doing everything right without conscious effort. If pro athletes had to stop and think about what they were doing mid-play, they’d fuck up.

Timothy
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Bortimus, you just laid out the difference between the good and the great. For athletes, it isn’t physical – it’s the unshakeable belief in your game, and it gets to the point where you simply react and do. Many of the others that remain simply good, and are inconsistent, still have to think. There’s a confidence about champions (especially in individual sports), a regalness in the way they carry themselves.

Commander Shepard
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Assanova at In Mala Fide wrote a blog entry that relates to what you’re talking about.

“You see, once you start winning in life and feeling like a winner, your whole attitude changes. All of a sudden, women are insignificant. You’re bolder, you say things you wouldn’t normally say, you do things you wouldn’t normally do, the things women say and do don’t affect you, the people around you don’t affect you, you start acting from what’s going on internally and not by what you think you should do, and so on. Once you start winning, it’s as if you have something extra flowing through your blood that completely changes who you are and how you deal with women. Call it subconscious confidence if you will. You feel it, women notice it, and they start throwing themselves at you.”

http://www.inmalafide.com/blog/2011/04/24/winning-beats-the-game/

Anonymous
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@24,I just plainly call it “inner game”.It comes when you do the same routines that work over and over again.You become relaxed and confident with life in general.It doesnt over whelm you when life comes at you at 100 mph.you just say,Ok “I know what to do” and its done.
I also dont trip on the little stuff as much+it shows.

NomadicNeill
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Hey Roosh,

Funny blog you’ve got here!

Yes I believe success with woman (and everything else) is mostly down to ‘inner game’ as you guys like to call it.

But this is something you can consciously cultivate. As men we have all the necessary attributes locked away in our genes. We just need to unleash it with the right experiences.

Check out this article of mine that is relevant:

http://www.nomadicneill.com/blog/2011/02/22/look-like-a-capitalist-live-like-a-communist-fight-like-a-fascist-and-fuck-like-an-anarchist/

Dirt Man
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It sounds like you’re progressively, and continually growing into the man that you most truly are and always have been, stripping away all of the insecurities and facades of youth. Traveling and gaining experience as a man in the world can definitely boost and accelerate this in my experience. I’ve observed this in myself and in my friends. Unless one is completely unobservant and doesn’t allow experiences abroad to fully sink in, one absolutely must and will change. I like that you point out that some of these changes are ones you can’t understand. I imagine it as a process that is a becoming and maybe only later will you fully appreciate what’s happening to you.

There’s something quite wonderful about getting together with a group of men that you know and trust and who are all on the same wavelength. Sharing stories, going out and having fun, and picking up women along the way. To be a man and fully be alive and comfortable in his own skin should be the goal of every man during his life’s journey. The actual conquests themselves take on a different character. I can see how things coming very easy might be a bit disconcerting, but I also think it’s just part of being a grown ass man. Having this blog probably doesn’t hurt your batting average either.

Good work Sir.

The Man Who Was . . .
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Timothy is right. This is most likely due to the fact that your inner game has become rock solid.

Mike
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There’s also the “fake it to you make it aspect.”

Much of game is mimicing how successful people act, in hopes that women will falsely infer you are a successful person.

Well, now you’re successful – at least as you, I, and many others define it.

Therefore, you are no longer acting successful. You simply are. It’s Zen.

Like Real Assanova, you are at the highest level of game.

Phoenix
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Roosh,
I don’t have any experience in traveling much. It sucks but I plan to change that as soon as possible. For right now, I’m planning to make trips outside my city to smaller towns (30-60 miles out) where a variety of my friends are.

You think I should just look up stuff online about foreign places, such as Costa Rica, that I’d like to visit someday?

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[…] It was basic game. It was below basic. The men I read on the net – Dagonet, Willy Wonka, Roosh, Roissy – that was their light breakfast, if they felt like it. But, for me, it was the start. It […]

Hawk
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Your post is interesting. I’m an American and what you observed is congruent with my experiences as well. I suspect what might be going on when a man spends time outside wasteland USA you become a little more cosmopolitan, and your vision of the world is more refined, and you take pleasure in realizing that the social norms and mating ritual in the States is toxic and fucked up. From all of this comes a strong self confidence that women will pick up on. It comes from realizing that you can always leave America to pursue a good decent foreign female, who will be better then the sacks of pig vomit in America trying to pass as ‘women’. In addition to experiencing this when I visit the states, i also reside outside the USA and American females latch on to me like stink on shit.

Another possibility, and this is just a hunch, I have no real evidence to suggest it is definite or not: but I think slowly Americans are sensing the void of elegance and culture in their country, and when AW know you traveld or live outside the States you becoming more interesting by default.

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[…] Roosh – “Feminism Killed the Nice Guy“, “Game That Jumps” […]

Omega Man
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I think women are highly intuitive- almost to the point of ESP- about a guy’s experience. A woman just knows the recency and quality of your sexual experience. Naturals can’t explain why they have success, and guys who get really good at game get to the point where they can’t explain it any more either.

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[…] things got me thinking of this subject. First, this comment I left in response to a guy talking about tattoos: Interesting tattoos work, more importantly. […]