From my post Girls Who Read Poetry:
The most damaged and insane girls I’ve met have considered themselves budding poets.
Eight days after I wrote that I went on a first date with a young girl who was half-Asian. As you know I don’t have an Asian fetish (I’ve only been with two), but when I asked her what the Asian half was she got defensive and accused me of having the yellow fever. In her dreams. Anyway she told me that not only does she write poetry, but she organizes “slam recitals” as well. She also said she was going through a feminist stage, saying, “If you really think hard about it, every man has violated a woman not just by rape but by going too fast or too deep during sex.” I wonder much longer it will take for feminists to say the act of consensual sex is actually brutal rape.
Immediately after the date she googled me and found out about the blog (a gigantic headache compared to a girl knowing about it beforehand). Surprisingly, she didn’t take it well. She left a scathing speech on my voicemail where she sarcastically referred to Bang as a “bestseller” and in so many words telling me to have a nice life on my way to the fiery pits of hell. I saved her message and have since played it for a handful of my students during workshop downtime.
The blog giveth and the blog taketh away. She’ll never find out that my fuck style is fast and deep (I learned that if I make a girl’s vagina sore, it’s a guarantee I’ll get a callback for more of that pounding). On a side note, I keep meeting girls who actively write poetry which means I’m doing something to attract the drama queens. I don’t know what it is but please someone make it stop.
CONTINUED: Open Letter To Poetry Girl