At risk of giving the Men’s Rights virgins some ammunition, here’s an email I received the other day, edited to remove any personal information:
I lived in Brazil most of my life, read The Game 6 months ago, and since then I have consumed lots of material about pick up. I noticed some solid improvement, both dealing with women and in my social life in general, but after reading your last post I found out that my goal is impossible to achieve.
I thought that by improving my game, I would be able to overcome the insane level of bitchiness of hot Brazilian girls on expensive clubs, which, as you said on your post, are the hottest here. But your post made me believe that pick up knowledge available does not have hot/rich Brazilian girls in mind. I know from personal experience (from before and after reading any material) that the same principles apply, but I am no longer confident that what is available is enough for Brazilian expensive clubs.
[In the United States], I was amazed by how approachable American girls were, and in average they were hotter too! I could at least get a phone number from a reasonably good looking girl every night. I felt like fishing in barrel, compared to my life in Brazil.
Anyway, I think I will officially retire from my pick up studies. I make very good living, and have good social skills. I am not very good looking (a 6 or 7 I’d say), but I have been on a long term relationship with a solid 9-10. She’s a very nice girl, I just thought that it was bad timing, and that I had more of life to experience. I thought that studying pick up would have made a more mature man, helping dealing with anxiety, and evolve my social skills as a whole. I thought to myself: “when I am confident enough so that I *feel* am able to pick up any girl I want — yes, those on those clubs –, I will have experienced my feelings and will be mature enough to settle down”. Anyway, I no longer believe that that goal is achievable.
So you’ve been studying game for six months, have not banged a silly hot Brazilian girl, and deem it “impossible” even after you’ve seen improvements? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds? You’re writing this to a man who went to South America and was basically dying slowly but still went out there and chased hard until he [DBIP spoiler]. I’m sorry I can’t respect this email at all because it screams quitter. If I was also a quitter then we can whine together about how hard life is and how hard it is to bang pretty girls but no, because I don’t give up.
Your solution is to man up, stop whining, and go do 200 approaches in the three months.
A noteworthy part of his email:
I thought that studying pick up would have made a more mature man
In six months he expected to be a completely new man! Come on people: real, lasting change takes time. You can go out there with new lines or techniques and get laid in the next month, but changing who you are is a gradual process that you won’t notice until way into the future when you accomplish some difficult task or goal using some seemingly inconsequential thing you learned from a prior experience. It won’t be obvious.
I was reading the blog of this girl who traveled through South America. The post from when she returned home said something along the lines of, “I’m so disappointed that I’m back and feel like exactly the same person.” Unfortunately people want to go out and do this big experience and feel an immediate payoff to justify it, a result of the Western culture sickness where everything is cost-benefit analyzed to death. But of course that’s not how life works. The cumulation of many experiences will gradually change you, but nothing where you can draw a line from point A to B and say, “Yes climbing the Inca Trail has helped me… get this raise at work!”
Lastly, you can’t go wrong if you do things you enjoy that keep you engaged in life. I sought out the game because it’s what I wanted, not because I saw a bestselling book at Barnes & Noble that was targeted to my age and gender. If your heart isn’t into something and you merely follow popular trends, you’ll quit before accomplishing anything meaningful.