Definitive Guide To Going Out Alone (a.k.a. Flying Solo)

Most of the time I go out now is alone. I’ve gotten so used to it that unless I meet a guy who is fun, dependable, and most importantly, cool, I still rather go out alone. In the past I used to go out with any guy who had a heartbeat, but picking up girls is challenging enough (especially in South America) that I don’t need some slapdick to make it harder for me just because I’m too insecure or too much of a pussy to fly solo.

PROS & CONS:

There’s two big downsides to going out solo. First, it’s ten times harder to get into that amped-up social mood where approaching girls is more a natural extension of having fun. Every approach feels like a trial and something you need to push yourself towards. To combat this I put a number in my head, usually ten, and venue permitting I do that many approaches before I’m allowed to go home. If I’m getting to ten, which has happened many times I can assure you, the night was most likely a bloody massacre. (In the United States it’s been several years since I got to ten.)

But playing the numbers game is important if you’re not exactly sure what game to run, so sometimes I go over ten if the girls are nibbling. Since it usually takes me around three solo approaches to warm up (with a friend it takes one), if I stop at five then I’m stopping way too soon.

The second big downside of flying solo is you have no wingman to occupy the friend. Isolation takes much longer and sometimes never comes.

I’ve been in many situations where I knew the girl liked me but her friends wouldn’t fuck off, so I had to stick around for three hours or more until there was a moment I could finally isolate. As long as the girl loves you and you can stay awake longer than the friends, isolation is going to happen, but it doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the bang. Sometimes what it takes is having to commit your entire night (and early morning) to the girl. In fact that begets an isolation move in itself if you’re near a beach—“How about we see the sunrise?”

It’s a big problem if the friend is up in the conversation instead of lingering around in the vicinity. In that case it’s hard to get into the flirting and teasing stage with your girl because you’re forced to be the clown and engage them both at the same time. In that case the conversation remains generic, solid attraction isn’t built, and the girls walk away.

The main upside of flying solo is freedom. You can do whatever you want, wherever you want, and not have to put up with another guy’s issues, problems, embarrassing game, or passive cockblocking. Since in fact most guys will not enhance your game, you’re probably doing yourself a favor by going out solo.

There is also a certain level of purity that comes with flying solo—it makes anything you get that night much more satisfying. You went out alone, without anyone, and pulled a girl that you wanted. You prove to yourself that you can do it without any help, that for you the pursuit of pussy is a burning desire that doesn’t come and go with who you happen to be friends with or what country you’re currently in. In the end, pulling a quality girl solo in a huge foreign club is the ultimate test to your game, though even in a domestic club it’s a worthy accomplishment.

FLYING SOLO HOW-TO:

The first thing you want to do is get into a social mood well before nightfall. If I know I’m flying solo on a particular night, I do my best to make small talk with random people during the day, whether it’s with cashiers or the obese family sitting next to me in Starbucks. When I’m with a wingman I can wake up from a three hour nap and get into a social mood by exchanging a few jokes with him, but while solo the process is a full day affair. The last thing you want to do is go out alone after jerking off on the internet all day.

When it’s time to go out, get to the club or bar early by arriving at least an hour before peak time. If the club gets going at midnight, show up at 10:30 if you can. Ideally you want to get there just a little after it opens when the line is starting to develop.

Are there people in line with you? If so then you should talk to them, whether they’re guys or girls. Here are some generic questions to ask someone in the line of a club:

1. “Is this the line for everyone?” (Cocky humor follow-up: “I wish I didn’t leave my gold VIP double extra platinum card at home so I could cut up to the front.”)

2. “Do you know how much the cover is tonight?” (Self-deprecation humor follow-up: “Oh really… so I should have borrowed more money from my mom then.”)

3. “Do you know what type of music they’re playing tonight?” (Dry humor follow-up: “God I hope they’re playing salsa because I’ve been taking daily lessons the past four months and it’s the only thing I can move to.”)

Here’s what I do: I get in line and chat with the people in front of me and if they don’t bite then I turn around and ask a different question to the people who got behind me. This is actually a very good way to make friends with people who you can use as a “home base” later when you’re inside the club. In Brazil it’s generally easy to make friends with guys in line as they always ask me where I’m from when I speak in bad Portuguese.

Let me backtrack a bit and explain why it’s important to show up early. First, girls arrive before guys. I’m sure you’ve been to a club where the ratio was good and then suddenly it seems like there is cock in your face every which way you turn. (Even though girls take longer than guys to get ready, guys take even longer to pre-drink.) Secondly, you want to arrive early to settle in and pick a good spot.

I have a theory about spots. I believe every spot, whether it’s in a bar, club, coffee shop, or what have you, has a built-in average time until an opportunity presents itself. Let’s call that the magic time, or the time it takes for magic to happen. This coffee shop in D.C. I liked had a magic time of about one hour, meaning if I stayed there on average for one hour I will be able to do an approach on a cute girl. In my favorite D.C. bar, the magic time out on the patio is about 20 minutes. In this club in Rio, the upstairs bar has a magic time of just over 10 minutes because of the large turnover. Different spots in the same venue will have different magic times, which is why it’s important to find the good spots as quickly as you can. I don’t care if it’s right next to the woman’s room, but find the spot that women seem to be passing by or congregating around.

You want to stick in a spot longer than its magic time, or else you’re not allowing nature to give you the fruit it’s trying to bear. Many guys make the mistake of not only bar-hopping but spot-hopping, so they can stay in a bar for an hour and not have one good opportunity, all because they’re moving from spot to spot under the magic times.

Another reason you want to stay still is that moving around looks bad. If you’re solo, with zero friends, and you’re jumping around like a rabbit approaching girls, you’ll be quickly pegged as “that guy” in the club. You’ll be the club’s loser, even worse than the old guy in the club. When you pick a spot and only approach girls who come around you, it will not seem like you’re doing any approaches at all, and it’s likely that to an outside spectator you are the one who’s being approached.

The downside of staying in spots is that it’s hard to rack up a lot of approaches quickly. Even in crowded clubs, I average one approach every 15 or 20 minutes, but then again my standards are pretty high (early on, anyway) and I don’t waste time on girls who aren’t exactly what I’m looking for. You may or may not be past that stage where you approach girls just for the practice.

Now while I recommended you make friends outside the club, I don’t once inside. Many times guys I made friends with inside the club—especially ones who were flying solo like me—mistook my kindness for weakness and casually cockblocked me on a girl I later approached. I’d estimate 80% of guys I meet inside the club are a total bust, and if you were in a casino then that’s a bet you don’t want to take. I’ll be friendly to guys who approach me but I won’t invite them to my approaches.

If you’re going to meet a guy inside the club, it’s better that he already have girls with him. If he has a desirable social circle, what you want to do is buy him a drink or shot after initiating small talk. It’s incredible how buying a guy a three dollar beer will motivate him to enthusiastically introduce you to every girl he knows. Otherwise be very hesitant with guys you talk to besides the staff unless you have the incredible ability to screen out idiots. As for the guys I already met outside, what I do is ditch them early, do a few approaches, and then find them later to joke around and shoot the shit, merely to keep myself in that social mood.

Another option to build some social proof is to get friendly with the bartender by tipping large or buying him shots. Don’t try to buy his friendship, but if you built up a little rapport with him while the club was empty (you went early right?), then some big tips thrown his way will make sure that he watches out for you. Don’t be cheap when you go out solo: if there is a guy who has value, let the money flow a bit and it’ll come right back to you in vaginal form.

Whether you make friends or not, all that’s left is drinking and approaching. Be careful about drinking too much. While the first couple drinks will loosen you up, subsequent drinks will actually get you into an anti-social mood if you don’t have a friend around to keep talking to. I never pre-drink more than a beer before I go out. You already see how it takes up to 20 minutes for a single approach, meaning I could be at a club for three or four hours to get to ten approaches. I still need to be close to the top of my game for those last attempts, and if I can consume a drink every forty-five minutes that’s about six drinks the entire night—way more than enough to get and maintain a buzz.

THE EXECUTION:

So you found a spot and you’re leaning against the bar with a drink. Make slow, confident movements, like you’re the owner of the club and just checking out the scene. Like always the first approach will be hardest, but if you show up early like I told you then it might very well lead to success. It’s better to be the first guy that a girl talks to than the tenth, and even if it doesn’t go well you can buddy up with her and her friends to use as flash social proof later on.

Run your normal night game. No special adjustments are needed.

Don’t lie if you’re asked “Where are you friends?” I simply say, “I don’t have any friends.” Be cool about it and don’t make excuses for why you’re alone. In South America I don’t remember the last time I was asked this but in America it may be one of the first questions she hits you with. Definitely don’t say stupid shit like, “Yeah my friend cancelled on me at the last minute and I still wanted to go out,” or, “All my friends have girlfriends.” If you feel like a “loser” when you go out alone, then it’s a self-esteem issue that you need to deal with. Personally I feel just as much of a man when I’m alone than when I’m out with a pack of guys. You either are or you aren’t, you either want it or you don’t—it shouldn’t matter who you’re with.

In fact I feel more like a man because I’m doing what other guys are too scared to do. I stand out because I’m not like every other guy and girls want to know my “deal” and why I’m there, which aids me in conversation. It’s as if the intrigue is built right into the crust. In the end girls don’t care if you’re alone or not as long as you’re a fun and interesting guy that they’re attracted to. It’s ten times better to be alone doing your thing than with a guy who lowers your social value.

A couple years ago I’d go out alone every now and then but not do very well. I didn’t have a strategy and I never managed my mood or drinking, so I’d always prefer to go out with a random guy instead. But then I noticed those random guys hurting my chances more than helping. I started going out solo, I started picking up alone, and I’ve arrived at the point where I do far better alone than with these fly-by-night wingman I randomly meet. Today there’s only four guys in the world who I would wing with.

Don’t be surprised if after a short of spitting that solo dolo game you prefer going out alone than with others.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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mr pilkington
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Sir, you are killing the blog game in 2010. I needed to read that.

Lumiere
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If a girl ask me where are my friends I usually just smile and say “everyone in here is my friend … they just dont know it yet”

Basically sends the vibe that you are a social guy and you are confident enough to go out alone because you know you are going to meet new people.

Practically always gets a good response.

JoeS
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JoeS
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“The last thing you want to do is go out alone after jerking off on the internet all day.”

LOL! And this my friends is what separates the men from the boys. You need to have a heavy amount of motivation to hit the town alone and depleting your “natural motivational resources” is ending your night before it even begins.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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looks like a lot of time and thought has gone into this

Tampa
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Tampa
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Solo is hard. I can’t get past the vibe of being the guy standing their by himself. Usually when I have success rolling solo it’s because I met the girl at the bar while I was sitting there. I’ve had success rolling solo, but like I said, it’s usually proximity approaches (like she is standing next to me, or i’m sitting next to her). I can’t think of many times where i’m just chilling and then I seen a girl and roll over there.

I like a homebase that a chick I’m rolling with provides.

I still think solo is WAY better then rolling in a deuce with some guy that has no game. Totally ruins the night. It’s like you are having couple time without the pussy.

Good write up though.

The G Manifesto
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I am a huge advocate of rolling out Dolo.

There are really two types of Dolo Game: Domestic and Foreign. They both require a different skill set.

Here is how to combat some of your “cons” of Dolo Game:

“First, it’s ten times harder to get into that amped-up social mood where approaching girls is more a natural extension of having fun.”

The simple fix is: Booze.

The more advance fix is to lamp in Custom Suits. Have girls approach you.

“The second big downside of flying solo is you have no wingman to occupy the friend. Isolation takes much longer and sometimes never comes.”

I probably sound like a broken record, but the quick fix to this is: Smoke Cigarettes.

Cigarettes are the easiest way to get isolation.

Refusing to smoke is one of the biggest handi-caps an up and coming International Playboy can have.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: George Best: Old-School Irish G.

Flashman
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I always felt like a loser when I went out solo, and yet I had, by far, more frequent one-night stands when I did. Unlike Roosh, the drunker I became, the higher likelihood of success I had; I become very assertive at a certain point, though losing conversational ability. The zero to hero scenario can happen in a flash; just be open to any opportunities than roll by. I agree that sticking to a spot is the way to go. Girls will always come your way, usually for a reason.

luvsic
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luvsic
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The biggest player I know almost always goes out solo.

One thing I would dispute (though it just depends), is the idea that going to a club early is better than going late.

Girls are always more impressed by the latest, greatest thing, and I think showing up later to clubs and parties can be a big advantage against all the other guys they’ve seen for the last 3 hours.

Evan
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Evan
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I got a lot out of this post.

Here’s one observation, having much more to do with my habits and thoughts and abilities than what’s good: If I approach a girl and banter for a bit, get a number, leave, make more approaches elsewhere, then call her and she flakes, I won’t be so bitter. If I try to build all night with one girl and she flakes, I’ll be bitter.

But I guess the better you are the better sense you have of situations like that, and also the better able you are to make that time worth it at the end.

Evan’s last blog post: irreducible.

The G Manifesto
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“One thing I would dispute (though it just depends), is the idea that going to a club early is better than going late.”

I agree, I wouldn’t dispute Roosh’s theory here, although I never show up early to a club.

The main advantage of Dolo Game cannot be stressed enough: Freedom and Agility.

When you are Dolo, you can always pounce once an opportunity presents itself.

Side note:

The Leopard is the most efficient killer in the Jungle.

And the Leopard always hunts Dolo.

I am The Leopard.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: George Best: Old-School Irish G.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Who are the four wings?

Night Prowler
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I usually just shrug my shoulders if a girl ever asks that question. No words needed. I don’t care enough if she’s there or not and I think it comes off like that. I go out later and later on weeknights and practice saying the least number of words possible before going in for a cig outside with her regardless if she smokes or not, and then hailing a cab and putting her in it without much of a suggestion for her to come. I swear it’s gotten easier and easier with each year of the last 4.

JoeS
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@The G Manifesto

“The simple fix is: Booze.”

True indeed sir. I mix up a special concoction that I like to call “Hood Juice” (two shots of vodka and gatordade) at the casa before I head out as I’m blasting tunes and getting ready. I try to knock it down it fairly quickly as I want it kicking in right as I make my entrance. All thats left to do is drink in moderation to maintain that initial buzz and proceed with game as usual.

TAllagash
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TAllagash
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pretty effin’ concise. i’ve got spots at the bars I frequent that I will always swoop in on, and even know on busy nights when to get tehre to get my spot. a good spot taht allows for a non-obvious approach, she just happens to be next to you ordering…is sweet. as for going out solo, i prefer it now. i pull more often solo than with a group. a group b/c this morass of bullshit and other people’s competing whatever….

TAllagash’s last blog post: Freak Test.

FARC
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FARC
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A lot of people are definitely going to think “weird!” if you say you’re out alone. I would. What is wrong with some lie like “My friends left early and I wasn’t ready to leave.” Or, “We were supposed to meet here, but they changed plans and I didn’t want to leave.”

I’ve never deliberately gone out solo but have used these lines as the truth a few times. Totally agree that being alone has large advantages.

But, I’d feel pretty weird doing it in a disco or meat-market type bar. It’s easy and natural if you’re somewhere with a live performance. You just hang back in a good spot and watch the musician or the guy on the tables, while scoping the scene.

Jay Gatsby
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Jay Gatsby
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Flying solo is fine, but your best bet is to find a solid group of guys who will serve as a wingman. Notice I used the singular, not the plural. You need one GOOD wingman, not a crew.

If you absolutely must go out alone, I agree that befriending the bartender(s) and bouncers is the way to go. Knowing the staff is as good as being on the staff (or even owning the club). If you’ve established rapport with one of the bartenders, he’ll serve you first, make sure your drinks are strong, and ensure that your target gets served before any of the douchebags or UGs lined up 5x at the bar. It should go without saying that you must make sure that your target knows that you know the bartender.

The same goes for bouncers/doormen. They decide who gets in (or who leaves). Your target’s friends may arrive late, and you will have the power to make sure they get in the club. Naturally, there is a price to pay. Some girls will use you just to get their friends in the club and then blow you off. Make it clear that this won’t be tolerated – you can just as easily get her friends kicked out of the club.

Steve Lurkel
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Steve Lurkel
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I second Mr. Pilkington’s statement; Roosh, you are spitting fire in 2010.

Lumierr
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Lumierr
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“Refusing to smoke is one of the biggest handi-caps an up and coming International Playboy can have.”

Dude i dont smoke and its easy to isolate without smoking. You can just say “hey, lets go outside for a pretend cigarette” (copyright sasha)

Ed OG
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Ed OG
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I roll dolo from state to state…

Il Capo
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Il Capo
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Roosh,

Thanks a lot for your post. I’ve been experimenting with going solo recently with mixed results. I have had positive results by using the numbers game:

– Going to a big venue.
– Getting a few drinks.
– Shotgun approach: walking around and talking to every single girl which meets my minimum standards (quite low given I’m tipsy).

I have not, however, been able to get any results by posting up at a few different spots in smaller venues and waiting for opportunities. It feels kind of weird to be sitting alone just sipping a drink for like 10-20 minutes before someone rolls by. It’s probably in my head, but I feel I’m giving the creepy vibe and that messes with my – limited – game. I’ll re-read this post a few times and experiment.

Jeffrey
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Jeffrey
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Man, a whole night and morning with the strong possibility of going home alone, needing to constantly be on top form, and being with a girl you might well find boring as fuck?

Are you sure prostitutes arent better than this?

Man I just dont know. I guess I just dont *get* it. Probably never will.

If pickup is really this complex for some people, I just dont see the point. Pickup is only worthwhile over paid sex for guys who dont find it this complex and difficult.

Mike
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Mike
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I’m totally in agreement with you, btw. People seem to have this irrational argument against those who prefer escorts/prostitutes that goes like this: “You’re willing to spend money just for some pussy? What a loser, that’s for failures.”

What they fail to realize is that when they go out and spend 7 hours at a club, needing to be constantly on top form the whole time, they are literally spending more than the person who pays for prostitutes. Time is more valuable than money, IMO. Time, effort, energy, being somewhere you don’t particularly enjoy being (clubs), etc. All of that is incredibly draining and costly, unless you happen to be the sort of guy that likes doing that anyway (in which case, go for it). If you aren’t, it’s way more costly (in time, energy, effort, sanity, etc.) to do that than it is to shell out a few hundred bucks for an escort.

I’d much rather fork over $200-$300 than spend all night at some place I hate projecting some alpha image. It’s far less costly to me, personally. But that’s because I don’t like going out to clubs, and spending all night at one sounds miserable.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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great post,
loved the magic times and “I don’t have friends” line

The G Manifesto
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“It’s probably in my head, but I feel I’m giving the creepy vibe and that messes with my – limited – game.”

It is in just your head. But if it is in your head then it exists.

Rolling Dolo correctly falls under the “inner strength” umbrella.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: George Best: Old-School Irish G.

Travel bug
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Travel bug
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Roosh: This is really really valuable content. I’m going to re-read this next time I go out solo.

Lumiere: Great line!

lurker
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lurker
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You really raised my confidence, Roosh. I used to go out alone a lot—college and beyond—and had no problem with confidence and hooking up.

Then, in my late 20s, I got a couple of long term girls, and I stopped hunting. Then, when they were gone, I went out again and felt like “the old guy at the club.”

This is what I needed. A guy to tell me exactly how I used to act was fine. Its like a frying pan to the head.

Maverick
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Maverick
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solid post roosh.

Lee
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Lee
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Jeffrey, Theres something to be said about having sex with a girl who wants to fuck you

The Rookie
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The Rookie
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great stuff. one thing that should help those out alone, is you sometimes notice other guys alone, and they look like gigantic losers, bouncing around, looking at the ground, shifty, nervous, uncomfortable. If you notice someone else doing those things, it’s a great way to make sure you’re not doing the same things.

Jon Cruz
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Jon Cruz
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The Leopard is the most efficient killer in the Jungle.

And the Leopard always hunts Dolo.

I am The Leopard.

– MPM
—–
As always, wise words by the G.

Willy Wonka
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Great post Roosh, I’ve been trying to get in the mood of going out solo, because the friends I have that do have any game at all are all bunned up with GFs and that just leaves my lame friends who couldn’t get pussy if it was thrown in their lap. I do have trouble getting motivated when going out solo, but thanks for the tips, I’ll definitely put them into play.

Willy Wonka’s last blog post: Weak Sauce.

laowai
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laowai
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Great post

Francis
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Francis
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I take this post as my email reply thx so much of answering my question.

Lee
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Lee
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It’d be the shit if you would lay out some day game like this.

DeepThought
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DeepThought
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I am 43 and go out solo. My group of friends come from my profession and even though they are bright men, they are pathetic when it comes to women.

Their immature behavior led to too many passive and active cockblocking incidents that I now go out solo. For example, I play the numbers game and have since I was in college. Once during an approach, one of my friends jokingly mentioned to the girl “Your the 4th girl he has approached in the last two hours…haha” That killed that chance.

Most men still have this naive view that women are special and they look for overt queues from these woman. With my success and constant GF’s since my divorce years ago, I have made some success in convincing them butI noticed that there are men who are just too dense to understand. It is best just to let them sit at home and not ruin your chances.

Stone
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Stone
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Totally agree. Better roll out solo (which I have done many times, with moderate success) than with some poor chap with no game.
The best to worst ways to roll are, in descending order:
– with a seasoned wingman
– with a girl as a prop
– solo
– with an inexperienced wingman
– in a group of 5-6 douchebags, ordering bottle service

The G Manifesto
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DeepThought,

“Once during an approach, one of my friends jokingly mentioned to the girl “Your the 4th girl he has approached in the last two hours…haha”

Next time, secretly slip the bouncer a couple of C-Notes to toss your “friend” out on his head.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Alberto Tomba: Old-School Italian G.

C-Lo
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C-Lo
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This is just what I needed to read before traveling dolo for the next few months. Your right about getting into a social mood, I find that part the most difficult.

Generate
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Generate
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I’ve rolled solo only a few times – but every one of those times has led to successful hits that very night. I concur.

Graham
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Graham
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ROOSHV, you said “It’s better to be the first guy that a girl talks to than the tenth, and even if it doesn’t go well you can buddy up with her and her friends to use as flash social proof later on.”

I have noticed these two things in my experience:

(1)Sometimes, girls are cocky and confident when they came into the bar…but as the bar winds down, and guys havent approach them, they get slightly more open to meeting guys. That is, they lower their standards having the realization sink in that nobody have talked to them all night.

I realize that if dozens of half-drunk had made a move on a girl, you being the 13th or 20th guy doesnt help your odds…so, yeah, in that regards, you may want to be #1 on the approach list. But at the same time, if a group of girls or a couple of pretty girls havent been approached all night by guys, there level of haughty picky behaviour gets lowered. That is my personal experience.

What say you, rooshv?

Lumiere
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Lumiere
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Jeffrey, picking up girls is not complicated at all.

Sometimes the overload of info can make it seem that way.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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this is money

Todd Hackett
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Todd Hackett
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Of the times I’ve gone out solo (dolo) it’s gone pretty well.
One time, I was at a bar (overseas), and not really into it (being alone), but I forced myself to stay. As it turns out, the bar tender pulled a “venue-change” on me, and had me meet her at another bar after her shift.

So…I think a good attitude to have is to force yourself to make it through what Roosh calls the “magic time”, and know and accept that part of the time you’re out a lone might suck, but it can really pay off.

It’s also easier to meet groups when you’re alone. Some people are inclined to take you under the wing and have you join them. When you’re with others, that normally won’t happen.

John Rendon
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John Rendon
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I loved the article. All the points that I totally agree with are:

1. Getting to the venue early. There are so many good reasons to do so.

2. Most wingmen will accidentally mess up your game more often than they’ll help your game in any way.
3. You’re definitely the man if you could consistently go out alone and get good results. You don’t need the crutch of so called wingmen. You’re success will be all because of you.

mulhollanddrive
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mulhollanddrive
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Great Post! This is why I love this site.

Quasi
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Quasi
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Your blogs are kingly Sir Roosh smile

And G if you are a leopard, I got some of your teeth from my last trip to Brazil, so dont go around the village eating dogs please! smile

luvsic
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luvsic
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+1 on request for some day game outlines.

I’ve been working random conversations into my daytime activities but don’t really have a clear path from small talk to taking it somewhere.

Gunslingergregi
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Gunslingergregi
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I am thinking some good game is getting a chick who has a shitload of friends. Then you are basically in with the friends. Makes it like shooting fish in barrel if you choose to pursue them.

boredom
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boredom
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Roosh,

How do you follow a strategy of not bouncing around without getting bored waiting for the magic time to wait around. That makes sense in a coffee shop where you can read or listen to your ipod, but what do you do to pass the time in a disco?

Schwanson
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Schwanson
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In a bar/club, how do you pass the time in your spot while waiting for the magic to happen?

I bounce from spot to spot because I get conscious about looking like the guy who has nothing going on-especially when I’m alone.

A few options are:
a. Make Small talk with folks standing around you
b. Make Small talk with the bartender if your spot is at the bar
c. Stare into your phone like you’re proofreading the national budget or reading Paris Hilton’s SMS where she’s begging you to come finger her
d. Stare into your drink
e. Check out other chicks, guys, chicks with other guys
f. Dance with/near a group (if your spot’s on the dance floor)

It must be hard for guys who take up a spot right at the bar and are trying to pace their drinking – the temptation to finish and get another drink to pass the time can be very compelling.

I’m really thankful for this post btw, it demonstrates how you make decisions in the field. It’ll help all of us maximize our results.