Because verbal game in Brazil not as effective as in the States, the game economy there is mostly built around appearance and confidence. My Danish roommate, who is the exotic ideal for Brazilian women, had to work much less than me for the same result. Now I don’t want to say I get his residual pussy, but it’s happened where girls I’ve preferred gravitated towards his baby blue eyes instead of my common browns.
One night he approached a very pretty girl in a bar and talked to her for maybe ten minutes. He saw her first, liked her first, and approached her first, so there was no ambiguity about who gets her. It’s never happened that a girl he approached went after me, anyway.
Well, there’s a first time for everything.
He introduced me and I made sure to be pleasant but not interesting or funny. It’s just bad form to upstage your wingman by turning on the charm. Instead I worked the monotone and shook hands with a zombie-like expression on my face. But almost instantly she stopped talking to him and started asking me questions. She squeezed him out and began light touches on my arm.
“Hold on one second,” I said to the girl, and turned to the Dane.
“Dude, what’s going on? She’s basically stroking my arm hair like I’m a cat,” I said.
“I know! We just talked a little, but she likes you a lot—you should go for it.”
“Why don’t you work on her a little more?”
“No no she obviously likes you more than me. Just go talk to her don’t worry about me.”
“Are you sure? I feel kind of bad.”
“Shutup, just go.”
I did feel bad. He did all the work and now she’s sucking on my big balls, but his insistence was genuine. There was no point in letting her get away, so I kept talking to her. Soon I become a little curious if this was a looks issue or not. I asked her, “Do you like gringos with beards?”
“Yes, and with big hair.” She looked at my helmet haircut, courtesy of the little scissors on my Swiss Army knife.
“Well I have some good news!!!”
To me this was an automatic kiss, which in Brazil doesn’t say much but still the girl was very decent. A little while later, after getting close enough that we were practically breathing on each other, she asked me how much longer I was staying in Rio.
“Well, ummm, only eight more days.”
“So you’re leaving?”
“Yeah but I’m coming back real soon. I mean…”
She moved away from me and sat down next to her friend, neither saying anything or responding to any sort of bar stimuli. I got the paddles out and… clear! Zzzzzt. Nothing. CLEEEAAAAAR COME ON GOD DAMN IT FIGHT! ZZZZTTTT.
The nurse had to pull me away. Time of death: 12:14 AM. I lost her.
While many Brazilian girls would be down for a one night stand, most are not, especially once you move up in socioeconomic status (the exception is if they happen to be traveling). If you’re only here for a week or two your best bet is to go to Lapa and hook up with a black girl as they will be easiest. Those pretty girls you see in the mall likely won’t open up to you if they know you’re only passing through. Not saying you can’t make it happen, but it’s unlikely.
“I shoulda lied,” I said to the Dane. “But honestly I don’t think I would’ve hit in just a week.”
“Yeah that sucks.”
“Bro you woulda been so mad if you saw me hooking up her! I guess it worked out for the best.”
“No I wouldn’t!”
I gave him a look.
“Alright alright maybe a little.”
“I wouldn’t have minded a little kiss,” I said.
“Yeah me neither.”
“It’s all good man.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”
If you don’t put your wingman first, before any woman you may meet, then you shouldn’t be going out with him. The girls won’t respect you if it’s obvious you’re willing to throw your “friend” under the bus for them. Either go out with big love for your boy or go out alone, because no matter what happens you’ll go home with a smile on your face. Both of us lost the Brazilian girl that night, but we each other we had the potential to meet dozens more. And we did.