Gradually

I go to the same Starbucks next to a retirement community so I recognize many of the old people that come in. Last month a man came in with a walker. He was leaning it on heavy and struggling to move just a half foot at the time. He almost fell down while bending over to sit.

A year ago I remember him coming in on his own, walking a little slow but still walking, and buying one of those pink frappuccino drinks. He dropped it and I watched him grab some napkins to help the barista clean up the spill. He was upbeat then and I used to exchange a few words with him, but now he just looks down on the ground as a younger woman helps him around and gets his drink. He sits closest to the door, silent, with no color on his skin, and within a few minute he falls asleep. He just started coming in a wheelchair, and judging by pain I see on his face he won’t be coming in much more. sunset.jpg

You think it’s going to come gradually. That one day you have trouble getting out of bed and think to yourself that in a year or so you will need a cane. And then in a few years maybe a walker from time to time. But nature doesn’t work on your clock. It comes when it wants to come. I know this man did not expect to decline as rapidly as he has, one year independent and walking around, the next year barely able to bring the cup to his mouth.

There’s an elderly couple I see all the time. They have to be at least 80 years old, with a bond that gives me hope that maybe one day I’ll find someone to live out my last days with. They’d come in, get their coffee, and read the newspaper for an hour before setting out. The woman always had trouble walking so the man would hold her arm, like you would see a young couple do at night. Then they started coming in less and less. I used to see them every day, but it’s been a month since the last time. I think I know what happened.

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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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wow….this is pretty deep for you, maybe your heart isnt black after all

roissy
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damn that’s :sadwave: .

there is nothing noble in the body and mind falling apart from aging. it should be treated like a disease and trillions should be poured into finding the cure. think about this: imagine you wake up tomorrow having instantly aged 40 years. horror, right? don’t let the gradual nature of it fool you. it’s coming…

roissy’s last blog post: How To Save Marriage.

GJ
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The worst fate I think is the degradation of your mind from Alzheimer’s or other age-related diseases. Two of my grandparents who passed away spend their final months unaware (at least, externally so one can assume internally) of who they were or who their loved ones are.

I can handle crapping myself. I can’t handle the thought of not knowing who I am and was while crapping myself.

Lemmonex
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Lemmonex
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This is a nice change of pace.

That’s the thing with life; it is going to end. I fear life slipping away, aging, and not knowing who I am anymore. But really, do I know who I am now?

One of my best friend’s sisters was recently killed in a horribly random accident; she was 24. It was a good reminder to live myself well, every day, as it can all be taken away very quickly.

Lemmonex’s last blog post: A Really Long Way of Saying ?This Blows?.

virgle kent
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Every couple of weeks some nut sack like anon leaves the same gay, “wow, maybe you’re human, maybe you have a heart, maybe you are capable of thinking about other things besides girls… blah blah blahb” Fuck

Anyway as you your best friend, if I still know you in your last days and you start struggling. I promise that I will come into your bedroom and gently press your pillow over your face till the life leaves you aged broken body. I would expect the same kindness from you in return, that’s what friends are for.

This of course negates our turning over 30, suicide pact. Or the, if one or both of us have daughters’ suicide death wish….

Sunglass Republic
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Nice post Roosh, that’s why you’ve got to make the most of your short time on this planet… you never know what tomorrow may bring.

Sunglass Republic’s last blog post: Coach Hazel sunglasses.

Kasey
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Kasey
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WTF? You live and then you die. As long as you live hard, live right, you only need to do it once. Like I wrote over at DC Hero, just spent the last week in Venice Beach, Santa Monica, etc. and the chicks there are hot delicious. They’re very nice too (as long as you have an in with them). Get busy living or get busy dying.

DF
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DF
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“Every man dies. Not every man truly lives”

– William Wallace (Mel Gibson)

Chuck
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Chuck
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Damn thats depressing..

Nevertheless, I agree with the sentiment. Though I think a worse fate is Lou Gehrig’s disease, the slow degradation of your body while the mind stays fine. You slowly lose motor function, walking skills, become bed ridden, have to shit in a bag, lose your speech ability, become quadriplegic and then finally die when your lungs and cardiovascular system are the last to fail. The whole time you brain works perfectly trapped inside a defective shell. It happened to my uncle and its a terrible fate.

Dirk Diggler
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Dirk Diggler
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Please put a bullet in my fucking brain if that ever happens to me. Really.

todd h
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todd h
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True. And sadly it could happen much sooner too. You just never know.

R Mutt
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R Mutt
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I found myself listening to Ludovico Einaudi while reading this. The combination of the music, words and sunset was quite potent. A nice read that reminds me of the deeper content you’d arbitrarily post on dcbachelor.com between all the shits’n’giggles.

On the lighter side of things…this also reminds me of “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey” on SNL.

Abhs
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Abhs
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I don’t know why everyone believes they will end up like most old people. I also don’t understand why we attribute this dignified nobility to old people that seem to have given up and waddle through their lives in quiet resignation. Perhaps because the majority of them seem to do so. To live is to play a rigged game where you are constantly fighting against the odds, but to win is to hold strong to an optimistic world view.

I know some oldies that turned absolutely hideous looking around the age of 60 or so because of their defeatist attitudes (which I bet they espoused long before that), and I also know some people that look 60 when they are 80. One of my grandfathers just turned 75 and on his birthday he said, “I’m 75, someone get me a fucking beer.”

Gunslingergregi
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Ahh talk of old and death makes ya think. It is not a big deal Bro. Live life to the fullest of course that shouldn’t mean always needing to be poor. It may include attaining riches.

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

~Chief Tecumseh, Shawnee Indian Tribe

“The world is awash in money. Do you hear what that means? It is awash in money. It is flowing for everyone. It is like Niagara Falls. And most of you are showing up with your teaspoons.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take both I wreckin.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Maybe they started going to a different Starbucks because they were afraid that their usual one had been overtaken by stinky hippies?

Peter
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Peter
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kinda like ‘The Luckiest’ – once your long-time partner goes, you go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cwlL9tZo30

i’d like to see more and better social institutions – replacements for church and things like that.

todd h
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todd h
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Hey!

not that anyone cares but that second todd h post was not the REAL todd h (me)

and for the record – i dont know who or what Ludovico Einaudi is, and i would never write or say “shitts n’ giggles’. ever.

G
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G
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Existential crisis?

Zosimus the Heathen
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Zosimus the Heathen
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I can relate to a lot of your post (as well as many of your comments), as I work with old people myself and have seen just how cruel aging can be to a lot of people. I agree with Roissy’s comment about it being a lot like a disease; I’ve long been of the opinion that, if it didn’t happen to everyone, that’s exactly what we’d consider it. I also agree with what GJ said about Alzheimer’s; it’s a disease I see the effects of every day I’m at work, and I hate it. (Let’s face it, anything that makes cancer look sort of good by comparison has to be truly vile.)

I can also relate to the point that was made in the original post about how suddenly the debilitation of old age can strike. One of the more interesting people I had in my care was this old gay guy who had syphilitic dementia. When he first came in and told me he’d moved into the facility because he was losing his mind, my immediate reaction was “Get the fuck out of here! There’s nothing wrong with you!” Within only a year or two, however, it was all too obvious there was something very wrong with him; within another couple of years, he was gone. Funnily enough, before I’d met him, I’d always thought syphilitic madness was a sort of “cool” kind of insanity (hell, Henry VIII and Idi Amin had had it!). Watching him go downhill, however, made me realize it was just as degrading as any other kind of dementia; indeed, this guy’s behaviour was so similar to that of someone with Alzheimer’s that I long assumed he had the latter disease; it was only just before he died that I found out what the true cause of his decline was.

As for old people who inspire me, to touch on what Abhs said, I’d have to say that the person I’d most like to be like should I reach old age is, perversely enough, Robert Mugabe. Can anyone seriously believe he’s in his 80s now?

Alex
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Alex
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Growing old does, indeed, suck. There’s not a thing you can do about it but live your healthy years as well as you can. Because the only thing that’s worse than being old and decrepit is being old and decrepit and looking back and lamenting the years you wasted when you were healthy. I don’t know what the best way is to live a life, but low-grade hedonism, I suspect, isn’t it.

Rajia
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What sucks the most is that when someone is so far gone that they don’t know who they are, are crapping themselves daily, and can’t recognize their own children, we as a society have deemed it INHUMANE to let them off themselves. No, it’s so morally corrupt to allow a person control over their own destiny, such a horrible thing to allow someone to say “if I get to that point, I would like to be killed”.

But it’s totally HUMANE to lock your grandma away in a nursing home and forget about her as she’s unknowingly crapping herself until she dies amongst a crew of underpaid direct care workers who are just happy there’s one fewer ass to wipe.

Dirk Diggler
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Dirk Diggler
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This ^^^

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#7 kasey, you hit the nail on the head.

been reading this blog for a long long time now, and i shake my head sadly when i feel your depression, roosh.

move to venice beach. i have, and im never, ever, ever, moving back east.

venice for life, bitches!!

Wagga
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Wagga
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VK, I’m sure you’d both prefer it if you choked him to death with your dick. C’mon, you two — we all know you’re going to end up together.

Alex
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Alex
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When you’re 88, having lived on Venice Beach for a time and banged a succession of modest beauties probably won’t matter much either.

Snoka
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Snoka
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My friend’s mom just died from Lou Gehrig’s disease. Horrible disease which makes at least me kindof scared of living.

In spite of this, I have to ageing is my biggest fear. It’s such an unforgiving disease, and I can be sure to catch it. I had a suicide pact with a friend, but it was for 25 (one year away), and we gave that up in panic a coupla years ago, blaiming our adolescent ignorance. I truly feel like I have never cherished life like I do now, but it is still difficult not to taint it with thoughts of decay.

I often envy people who can bring themselves to believe in gods, because they can at least feel confident in their fate.

Zosimus the Heathen
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#20 Rajia, I agree wholeheartedly. I’ve often heard it said that if you allowed a dog to die the way we routinely allow so many old and frail members of our own species to, you’d be charged with animal cruelty. Just one of the “privileges” of being human, I suppose – your life is regarded as so “precious” (usually by a bunch of do-gooders who wouldn’t give a crap about you otherwise), it’s prolongation, no matter how pointless or even cruel, is considered a matter of the utmost importance. God, I fucking hate the “right-to-life” crowd (as they’re known down here in Oz); I’m sure that if we ever achieved the mad scientist’s dream of being able to reanimate the dead, they’d demand such a procedure be made mandatory!

miik
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miik
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I was rooting for the 80 year old couple – it happens

Eugeniu
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Eugeniu
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Great observation, sad truth,……its cause of June 14th coming up……..isnt it?