How It Feels Like To Be A Hot Girl

I reprised my costume as Jesus for Halloween this year. With my hair 8-inches longer than last time and my beard bushier with almost a month of extra growth, the resemblance I had to Christ was eerie.

It started the second I stepped foot in the Metro.

“Holy shit, it’s Jesus!”

“Jesus Christ!!”

“Look, that nigga Jesus!!”

A Muslim-looking man wanted to have his picture taken with me. I gave a serious look, like Jesus would, and made sure my large-print bible was in the frame of the photo.

On the Metro car a girl dressed up as a devil asked to take a picture with me as well. All the way down the car a group of teenage girls yelled my name (Jesus) and then rushed up to take photos with their camera phones. A girl dressed up as a referee, blowing her whistle loudly every two minutes, was next to ask for a picture. She was rather petite and I wrapped my arm around her so we’d be nice and close for the photo. Sober guys next to me gave me their respect with nods of compliment.

On my walk to the bar I had about four or five cars honk their horns. Guys hung halfway out the window yelling Jesus. I’d raise my arm to recognize their efforts to get my attention. A group of white people partying on a patio gave me a round of applause, and I blessed them with a hand motion that I practiced earlier in front of the mirror.

About a dozen or so photos were taken of me in the bar. I believe at one point a line developed. A girl I didn’t know bought me a beer, but didn’t want to talk. She just went to the bar, got my drink, and then left back to her friends. Countless Jews walked up to me, apologizing. The only time I was upstaged was when this asshole showed up in a robot costume with yellow lights and 80’s music blaring from his box head. He did breakdance moves and a crowd formed around him. I cried foul.

The attention got old pretty quick. I was just a cheap gimmick judged by my appearance and nothing else. People lost interest in talking to me if I stepped out of character.

At the next bar I gave off forced smiles with each Jesus yell. A group who wanted my photo made a demand that I pose with a thumbs-up sign. I declined. They kept demanding and I kept saying no. They made negative remarks out of earshot. Eventually I barely looked when drunk people came up to me with “JESUS.” I was much more receptive with calmer approaches like “Hey man I really like your costume. Is your hair real?”

Approaches fell into two categories: those that increased the likelihood of a conversation developing and those that decreased it. The parallel to game here was obvious to me.

I hesitated going home because I knew I’d have to walk through a sea of drunk people. The gauntlet. The attention from cars and and walking drunks was relentless. I wished I could take the costume off, or that I at least brought a band to put my hair back and be less Jesus-like. I kept my head down and avoided eye contact so I wouldn’t encourage anyone, but I still got a lot of “Hey Come here!” When I didn’t do what people wanted they got annoyed. “Jesus is drunk,” they’d say.

On the subway ride back I fell asleep, but people still tried to get my attention.

“Hey look it’s Jesus. He’s sleeping.”

There is such a thing as too much attention, especially when the attention is identical. You get numb to it, and only respond to something original or different.

Postscript: Take a look at How It Feels To Be A Fat Chick by Virgle Kent, my wingman of the night.

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Peter
12 years ago

Heh, excellent post. Maybe it really is true that hot women don’t always have it easy. This line in particular was quite telling:

I was just a cheap gimmick judged by my appearance and nothing else.

Peter’s last blog post: Tuesday, November 4.

D
D
12 years ago

How it feels LIKE to be a hot girl? you are better then that.

rdj
rdj
12 years ago

Excellent post Mr. R, interesting when you try and imagine life from the viewpoint of a hot chick.

Lots of lame come-ons followed by few actual interesting conversationalists. I think if I was a hot chick I’d porbably just stay home all nite and amuse myself 😉

Anonymous
Anonymous
12 years ago

and it becomes harder and harder to tell the difference between who you should write off right away, and who you should give a chance to.

and the hollering and shouting…at first its fun…but then you start to feel like men are just a bunch of chimpanzees at the zoo. its pathetic and depressing sometimes.

Tampa
Tampa
12 years ago

Great freakin read.
Solid.

virgle kent
12 years ago

“Look, that nigga Jesus!!”

And just like that a new catch phrase is born.

I had a different salty take on the night THATs for sure

RCR
RCR
12 years ago

“better then” #2? Are you seriously criticizing someone else’s grammar with bad grammar?

The G Manifesto
12 years ago

This is one of a million reasons why I do not go out on Halloween.

If you wanted to neutralize the situation, you should have rolled into a Gentleman’s Club.

Or saved yourself a lot of misery and just swooped a girl early in the night.

Great story. Funniest line:

“People lost interest in talking to me if I stepped out of character.”

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Time To Vote, Barack Obama, Nas – Black President.

David
David
12 years ago

Excellent piece, Roosh. You’re a damned good writer, and I hope that multi-million dollar book deal will eventually reach your desk. When it does, buy me a beer.

Anonymous
Anonymous
12 years ago

You already knew the costume would get old quickly, so why did you use it again? Likewise, when women were falling all over you, why didn’t you ultimately hook up? I would think that any number of women would want to corrupt “jesus” so they could have a story to tell their friends the next morning.

Lisa
Lisa
12 years ago

Don’t dresses feel great?!

zpr
zpr
12 years ago

When I first saw the title of the post I thought you were going to say you dressed up as a french maid, thanfully I was wrong.

zpr’s last blog post: Escape.

Eugenius
Eugenius
12 years ago

Shit I feel you man….it must have been annoying as shit…..did you throw coins…..either way you should have banged someone in costume, that would have been a story to tell…

z
z
12 years ago

Entertaining read.

You really do look like my childhood conception of Christ. The hairy chest (I have one myself) is the tipping point that gives the whole get-up impeccable authenticity.

It takes panache to go out to bars, and drink, dressed like Jesus Christ.

“Look, that nigga Jesus”—Classic, Im going to tell some folks about that.

ResidentCynic
ResidentCynic
12 years ago

“There is such a thing as too much attention, especially when the attention is identical. You get numb to it…”

I think I can guarantee that I would NEVER get tired of “Look, that nigga Jesus”. I think I could listen to that and only that for a solid 8 months straight and still be entertained.

namaste
12 years ago

hilarious.

namaste’s last blog post: Yes We Can.

Bebush
Bebush
12 years ago

I been reading your post for quite some time now. Nonetheless its always something interesting, but this jesus s*** really killed me.(in a good way)

Are you gonna keep your jesus look? (beard,hair)

Peter
12 years ago

You really do look like my childhood conception of Christ. The hairy chest (I have one myself) is the tipping point that gives the whole get-up impeccable authenticity.

I don’t know … almost every crucifix and painting of the crucifixion I’ve seen has shown Jesus with a hairless chest.

Peter’s last blog post: Thursday, November 6.

speakeasy
speakeasy
12 years ago

Insightful post, Roosh. Sounds like half way through the night, your bitch shield was in full effect!

So you are right, if you want to break through, you really do need to do or say something different…but what? What can you say to a girl that’s been jaded day in – day out by guys all trying to talk to her nonstop. How do seperate yourself from being just another guy trying his damnest to get her number?

hot girl
hot girl
5 years ago
Reply to  speakeasy

As a hot girl, my answer is talk to her like a human being without trying to want something from her. That is definitely different.

M
M
12 years ago
Anonymous
Anonymous
12 years ago

Is that Roissy on the right?

yourecoolsometimes
yourecoolsometimes
12 years ago

man, u just made the best of yourself. I’m reading your blog for a while, more and more bored of it lately… but hey! u really hit it with the jesus look! keep up the good work… wear it casually, sometimes… just on a normal thursday night… it’s sooo you! ola.

Dynamo Kiev
Dynamo Kiev
12 years ago

“Look, that nigga Jesus!!””

LOL. This is what I like about Black people.. short and to the point.

Gunslingergregi
Gunslingergregi
12 years ago

Allright Jesus I said a prayer I hit this stock and I am done. Make it happen allright. Maybe now you can be a Saint Rhoosh aka Jesus.