How To Be A Man

Fifty years ago you would’ve probably received a basic education, created a family, and then supported it with a menial yet well-paying and stable job. Not only were you considered a man by society if you achieved all three of these milestones, but you would’ve felt like a man as well.

Times have since changed. After educating himself, the modern man is lost on exactly what to do or be so that he can have a sense of pride in who he is. Creating a family with masculine women who are eager to rob you blind in a failed marriage doesn’t make sense anymore. Being secure in a good job where you don’t have to worry every few months about getting laid off is a thing of the past. What can you do so that you feel like a man in today’s culture? I’ve determined six things:

1. Fuck 25 girls. After 25 notches, you will have a strong understanding of female quality and psychology, giving you needed tools to make good decisions when it comes to relationships and commitment. Before that number, you run the risk of entrapping yourself in a toxic relationship that takes away from your manhood instead of feeding it. You’ll have a nagging doubt in your head about whether the girl you’re with is ideal for you or not. Also, there is no other way I know of that builds a man’s confidence than fucking significantly more women than the average man.

2. Intimidate others with your physical size. Is it possible to be a man if others think you are weak and non-threatening? Is it possible to get respect from others when you look frail? As fast as I’m sure your newest smartphone can dial 911, it’s hard to feel like a man if you don’t think that other men would fear getting into a fight with you. This doesn’t mean going on steroids, but it does mean getting strong and taking weightlifting seriously.

3. Don’t be afraid of getting your ass beat. You’re not a man if you win a fight, but you are one if you’re not scared to get into that fight. When you realize that you’re not made of glass, you stand up for yourself in all situations, whether they possess threats of physical violence or not. You push back at disrespect even if you think you may get beat up. The irony is that the less scared you are of getting beat up, the less likely other men will ever fight you. Accepting that a beatdown will happen almost guarantees that you’ll never receive one.

4. Give back to those who took care of you. When you were growing up, who looked after you? Who helped make you who you are? Chances are you’ve yet to return the favor. Starting with our parents, we take for granted those who have helped us along the way. Right now they could probably receive help with something that you’re able to give. Repaying them is a surefire way of increasing their happiness, which in turn will make you happy. While I’m sure there are many starving kids in Africa who could use your help, there are people closer to you who could use it, too. Help them first.

5. Accept that you will die. Western culture does a great job of making death a painless afterthought, an event that might as well never arrive. It teaches everyone to deal with death by turning into obsessive-compulsive automatons when it comes to diet, exercise, and risk avoidance. Instead of living the best, most pleasurable life they can, people waste their time by hedging their bets in order to maybe live a longer, more unfulfilling life. Accept that you will die, sooner than you think, and get to work on those things that you want to accomplish right now, not ten or twenty years down the line. By doing the things you want without delay, you listen to your nature and become a stronger person in the process.

6. Do something worthy that other people admire. A genetic bug in the male genome is that we want to be admired. It’s not enough to do something great, but we also have to be acknowledged for doing something great. Until then it’s hard to feel like a man. Don’t do just the bare minimum. Don’t go easy on a project or hobby that means a lot to you. Don’t stop until you’ve gone farther than what most other men who have attempted it has. After you’ve reached a high level of achievement, share your knowledge and allow other men to accomplish what you have. When others want to do what you have done, you will feel like a man.

Do all these things and you will come into your own and be comfortable in your skin. You’ll also serve as a role model for those young guys trying to find their place in the world.

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riker
riker
8 years ago

god bless

Supaman
Supaman
8 years ago

Great post! I’m currently somewhere around 30, but just got out a soul sucking 5 year relationship and daily I feel like I’m scratching and crawling my way out of the grave I made for myself staying with her so long. I’m going to start back at 0 and see where it leads.

JST
JST
8 years ago

Good post, Roosh. These days society treats manhood with either as an indifferent, devil-may-care question mark or as a feminist-inspired agenda to lock men into being cattle for masculine, ball-busting women, the ever-growing police state, and soulless, unethical corporations that benefit from female hedonism.

We shall just enjoy the decline by fuckin’ many girls and doing our own thang.

Fuck what women want. They sure as well don’t give a shit about our wants.

Gmac
8 years ago

I have to agree with all of these.

Accepting that death is inevitable is one of the most important things to come to grips with in life. After that, it’s all about making the most of it. You value your life more (especially if you’re not religious).

I’d like to add:

Become skilled/knowledgeable in a completely different trade (i.e. carpentry (fixing things), house wiring, plumbing, car maintenance, etc.).

Phil
Phil
8 years ago

Great post. I think no.2 size is a slight misnomer I think it should be physical presence. Definately become stronger and hit the weights. There are boxers smaller than me in stature that I would not fuck with. They have great presence.

dickbutt
dickbutt
8 years ago

working on 1 and 2, am doing 6, have already done enough of 4. don’t wanna do 3, my face is just too beautiful and precious

The Glee Manifesto
The Glee Manifesto
8 years ago

“I saw my life as an arc and that it would end, and compared to that nothing mattered,” Jobs told him in one recorded interview. “You’re born alone, you’re going to die alone. And does anything else really matter? I mean, what is it exactly is it that you have to lose, Steve? You know? There’s nothing.”

Manny
Manny
8 years ago

Good post. I second the suggestion to learn a few traditionally “manly” skills that are often overlooked by urban men. Changing a tire, for example, as well as minor household repairs. You should have a good toolbox and know how to use it.

This is the kind of thing that pays off in unexpected ways at unexpected times. Outdoor skills are less frequently useful but also an excellent source of confidence. Once you have survived in the woods with almost nothing for three days, you never lose the awareness that you can do it.

samseau
samseau
8 years ago

Great list

my number
my number
8 years ago

I’m in my thirties and currently close to the magic number of 25. This is, taking into account that I have fucked 20 of them the past few years, which is when I started gaming. Before that I hardly knew what a woman was! Game has been a life-changing experience. I see women in a very different way now and understand more about women psicology. I usually don’t fuck more than 7 to 10 chicks a year (at least 3 of them were 8 and one even 9), as I’m still learning and improving. But I also get much better quality than in my early days. Game boosts my confidence, as long as I keep it tight. I still blame Roosh for not publishing his Bang booksa decade earlier, I would probably only be pulling 7s or 8s by now.

Uri Katsav
Uri Katsav
8 years ago

Amen on that! As for point #2, may I suggest take Krav Maga lessons. It’s a pure military-street fight martial art. Your testosterone levels rocket.

dubguru
dubguru
8 years ago

the best post i’ve read on this site. i’ve been reading this blog for a while but never wanted to comment until now. this advice is gold. i’m 36 years old and i wish someone had told me this in my twenties.

great job, Roosh!

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

getting buff can backfire if you don’t actually know how to fight. Also, some girls aren’t into big dudes.

Also, some people don’t have the best bone structure for getting buff. Being physically fit and having strength is good, but what you really need is an iron will.

You just can’t look like a pussy, or the type of person that would get beaten up. There are guys who give off this vibe without being buff, and the mucus-tubes present themselves to these men in bounty.

Anon
Anon
8 years ago

“As for point #2, may I suggest take Krav Maga lessons. It’s a pure military-street fight martial art. Your testosterone levels rocket.”

Krav Maga should be renamed “knee them in the balls and scratch their eyes” a.k.a. stuff chicks who are about to get raped think will work.

The only legit combat arts are judo, BJJ, wrestling, boxing, Muay Thai, and stick/blade fighting.

(R)evoluzione
(R)evoluzione
8 years ago

On #1: Yes, I feel that 25 women is a minimum number to really know what’s up. Men who achieve that number without any knowledge of game are clearly naturals and need no knowledge other that what nature has blessed them with.

However for myself and a sizeable portion of other women, it was around that number where the blinders came off. Before that time, I had a a very idealistic, pedestalized view of females. I just wish it hadn’t taken me until mid-30’s to reach those milestones, to take off the blinders, swallow the red pill enthusiastically.

doesNotMatter
doesNotMatter
8 years ago

When people fuck a lot of women, they start doling out life advice…….so enrapuptured are they by their own wisdom. Soon this will turn into “spiritual” advice. We are waiting for the day that you start writing more on “spiritual” topics. First GoneSavage, then Stephane Hemon, Now Roosh. Miss the days when this used to be a game blog. Roissy used to be a game blog once upton a time. Krauser’s blog is still a game blog but is slowly moving into philosophy.

Anon
Anon
8 years ago

“Is it possible to be a man if others think you are weak and non-threatening? Is it possible to get respect from others when you look frail? As fast as I’m sure your newest smartphone can dial 911, it’s hard to feel like a man if you don’t think that other men would fear getting into a fight with you.”

There was a Punk’d episode where some guy took a baseball bat all over Wilmer Valderama’s car and he just stood there and half-heartedly begged him to stop. He still gets plenty of Hollywood pussy.

Shango
Shango
8 years ago

Interesting.

Only recently, as the West turned more and more secular has death become anathema. For majority of what is known as Western Civilization, accepting death was a salient characteristic (especially so if the society was specifically Christian).

People who say that the religious don’t value life either don’t understand life or religion or both. How one lives is so important to what happens after death–to the religious–that it is above all else to be valued. I’m looking at you, Gmac.

Michel
Michel
8 years ago

And I’m looking at you, Shango.

You preaching ass motherfucker.

Timothy
Timothy
8 years ago

This is a SOLID list. While some men simply don’t have physical stature, you can still get strong, and regardless of that, #3 becomes that much more important. It’s why sometimes you see little guys talkin’ mad shit, or acting crazy to make other men think twice about fucking with them. Sure, you might beat him, but at what cost? It’s more important WHERE you hit a man, not so much how often or even how hard you hit him. A well placed blow early can discourage a man from wanting to get into it with you.

The Glee Manifesto
The Glee Manifesto
8 years ago

You could titled this one. “How to Man Up”?

Gmac
8 years ago

“People who say that the religious don’t value life either don’t understand life or religion or both.”

Shango, I don’t want to get into a religious debate here. All I will say is this: Someone who believes in an afterlife can never truly value their life as much as someone who believes this is all there is.

That said, “valuing ones life” and “living a certain way because you’re ‘afraid’ of where you’ll end up if you’re bad” are two very different things.

Rakishness
Rakishness
8 years ago

Every man wants to be great. The great poet Homer described this as “arete”(or excellence).

“Arete in its basic sense, means excellence of any kind. In its earliest appearance in Greek, this notion of excellence was ultimately bound up with the notion of the fulfillment of purpose or function: the act of living up to one’s full potential. Arete in ancient Greek culture was courage and strength in the face of adversity and it was to what all people aspired.”

“In the Homeric poems, Areté is frequently associated with bravery, but more often, with effectiveness. The man or woman of Areté is a person of the highest effectiveness; they use all their faculties: strength, bravery, wit, and deceptiveness, to achieve real results. In the Homeric world, then, Areté involves all of the abilities and potentialities available to humans. The concept implies a human-centered universe in which human actions are of paramount importance; the world is a place of conflict and difficulty, and human value and meaning is measured against individual effectiveness in the world.”

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Perhaps a high risk venture nowadays, but having a large flock of well reared and behaved children, makes you a man as well. I’d venture to say, to a greater degree then any of the above. I’m talking 6+. 10+ even better. Then 5 grandchildren per. There’s no display of manhood, like needing a converted Greyhound bus to take the family to Disneyland.

Funny thing is, this is one advice that works equally well for women. It’s the path to some sort of greatness, that both sexes can walk together.

And sadly, it’s largely been lost in the West.

Timothy
Timothy
8 years ago

@21…I think the essence of this post is that in the past men didn’t need instructions as to how to be a man. How to feel like a man. Now, men face a certain resistance when they behave like our fathers and grandfathers.

One of my friends, now divorced from his first wife and mother of his children, took issue with his edict that he would not change diapers. She didn’t want to work. He was out building a successful private defense law practice. You can imagine the stress and responsibility that comes with that. After the long hours and stress, he wanted to come home, get out of his suit, decompress, etc. Then he was ready to give his attention to his kids, and he expected them to be handed to him clean and shitty diaper free. If they shit up another diaper, that was her job. If he’s taking such good care of everyone by providing resources and making sure every bill is paid, he doesn’t want to hear about how hard it is to take care of the kids during the day, or to have to change diapers. That isn’t unreasonable.

With his second wife, she also took issue with something SO MINOR it’s shocking. She’s also a lawyer, but is an ADA so her hours are more standard. She gets home before him and cooks. She got mad because, again, he just wanted to get home and get settled so he would be more prepared to then turn his attentions to her. She got mad because he didn’t immediately make a beeline to her after he got home. Ridiculous. Like Chris Rock said…all a man really wants is his big piece of chicken in exchange for his efforts. That a man often feels compelled to work late, or stop for a drink or something first because he so dreads coming home to face nonsense. He’s denied the simplest pleasures in his own home.