How To Be A Man

Fifty years ago you would’ve probably received a basic education, created a family, and then supported it with a menial yet well-paying and stable job. Not only were you considered a man by society if you achieved all three of these milestones, but you would’ve felt like a man as well.

Times have since changed. After educating himself, the modern man is lost on exactly what to do or be so that he can have a sense of pride in who he is. Creating a family with masculine women who are eager to rob you blind in a failed marriage doesn’t make sense anymore. Being secure in a good job where you don’t have to worry every few months about getting laid off is a thing of the past. What can you do so that you feel like a man in today’s culture? I’ve determined six things:

1. Fuck 25 girls. After 25 notches, you will have a strong understanding of female quality and psychology, giving you needed tools to make good decisions when it comes to relationships and commitment. Before that number, you run the risk of entrapping yourself in a toxic relationship that takes away from your manhood instead of feeding it. You’ll have a nagging doubt in your head about whether the girl you’re with is ideal for you or not. Also, there is no other way I know of that builds a man’s confidence than fucking significantly more women than the average man.

2. Intimidate others with your physical size. Is it possible to be a man if others think you are weak and non-threatening? Is it possible to get respect from others when you look frail? As fast as I’m sure your newest smartphone can dial 911, it’s hard to feel like a man if you don’t think that other men would fear getting into a fight with you. This doesn’t mean going on steroids, but it does mean getting strong and taking weightlifting seriously.

3. Don’t be afraid of getting your ass beat. You’re not a man if you win a fight, but you are one if you’re not scared to get into that fight. When you realize that you’re not made of glass, you stand up for yourself in all situations, whether they possess threats of physical violence or not. You push back at disrespect even if you think you may get beat up. The irony is that the less scared you are of getting beat up, the less likely other men will ever fight you. Accepting that a beatdown will happen almost guarantees that you’ll never receive one.

4. Give back to those who took care of you. When you were growing up, who looked after you? Who helped make you who you are? Chances are you’ve yet to return the favor. Starting with our parents, we take for granted those who have helped us along the way. Right now they could probably receive help with something that you’re able to give. Repaying them is a surefire way of increasing their happiness, which in turn will make you happy. While I’m sure there are many starving kids in Africa who could use your help, there are people closer to you who could use it, too. Help them first.

5. Accept that you will die. Western culture does a great job of making death a painless afterthought, an event that might as well never arrive. It teaches everyone to deal with death by turning into obsessive-compulsive automatons when it comes to diet, exercise, and risk avoidance. Instead of living the best, most pleasurable life they can, people waste their time by hedging their bets in order to maybe live a longer, more unfulfilling life. Accept that you will die, sooner than you think, and get to work on those things that you want to accomplish right now, not ten or twenty years down the line. By doing the things you want without delay, you listen to your nature and become a stronger person in the process.

6. Do something worthy that other people admire. A genetic bug in the male genome is that we want to be admired. It’s not enough to do something great, but we also have to be acknowledged for doing something great. Until then it’s hard to feel like a man. Don’t do just the bare minimum. Don’t go easy on a project or hobby that means a lot to you. Don’t stop until you’ve gone farther than what most other men who have attempted it has. After you’ve reached a high level of achievement, share your knowledge and allow other men to accomplish what you have. When others want to do what you have done, you will feel like a man.

Do all these things and you will come into your own and be comfortable in your skin. You’ll also serve as a role model for those young guys trying to find their place in the world.

Related Posts For You

newest oldest most voted
riker
Guest
riker
Offline

god bless

Supaman
Guest
Supaman
Offline

Great post! I’m currently somewhere around 30, but just got out a soul sucking 5 year relationship and daily I feel like I’m scratching and crawling my way out of the grave I made for myself staying with her so long. I’m going to start back at 0 and see where it leads.

JST
Guest
JST
Offline

Good post, Roosh. These days society treats manhood with either as an indifferent, devil-may-care question mark or as a feminist-inspired agenda to lock men into being cattle for masculine, ball-busting women, the ever-growing police state, and soulless, unethical corporations that benefit from female hedonism.

We shall just enjoy the decline by fuckin’ many girls and doing our own thang.

Fuck what women want. They sure as well don’t give a shit about our wants.

Gmac
Guest
Gmac
Offline

I have to agree with all of these.

Accepting that death is inevitable is one of the most important things to come to grips with in life. After that, it’s all about making the most of it. You value your life more (especially if you’re not religious).

I’d like to add:

Become skilled/knowledgeable in a completely different trade (i.e. carpentry (fixing things), house wiring, plumbing, car maintenance, etc.).

Phil
Guest
Phil
Offline

Great post. I think no.2 size is a slight misnomer I think it should be physical presence. Definately become stronger and hit the weights. There are boxers smaller than me in stature that I would not fuck with. They have great presence.

dickbutt
Guest
dickbutt
Offline

working on 1 and 2, am doing 6, have already done enough of 4. don’t wanna do 3, my face is just too beautiful and precious

The Glee Manifesto
Guest
The Glee Manifesto
Offline

“I saw my life as an arc and that it would end, and compared to that nothing mattered,” Jobs told him in one recorded interview. “You’re born alone, you’re going to die alone. And does anything else really matter? I mean, what is it exactly is it that you have to lose, Steve? You know? There’s nothing.”

Manny
Guest
Manny
Offline

Good post. I second the suggestion to learn a few traditionally “manly” skills that are often overlooked by urban men. Changing a tire, for example, as well as minor household repairs. You should have a good toolbox and know how to use it.

This is the kind of thing that pays off in unexpected ways at unexpected times. Outdoor skills are less frequently useful but also an excellent source of confidence. Once you have survived in the woods with almost nothing for three days, you never lose the awareness that you can do it.

samseau
Guest
samseau
Offline

Great list

my number
Guest
my number
Offline

I’m in my thirties and currently close to the magic number of 25. This is, taking into account that I have fucked 20 of them the past few years, which is when I started gaming. Before that I hardly knew what a woman was! Game has been a life-changing experience. I see women in a very different way now and understand more about women psicology. I usually don’t fuck more than 7 to 10 chicks a year (at least 3 of them were 8 and one even 9), as I’m still learning and improving. But I also get much better quality than in my early days. Game boosts my confidence, as long as I keep it tight. I still blame Roosh for not publishing his Bang booksa decade earlier, I would probably only be pulling 7s or 8s by now.

Uri Katsav
Guest
Uri Katsav
Offline

Amen on that! As for point #2, may I suggest take Krav Maga lessons. It’s a pure military-street fight martial art. Your testosterone levels rocket.

dubguru
Guest
dubguru
Offline

the best post i’ve read on this site. i’ve been reading this blog for a while but never wanted to comment until now. this advice is gold. i’m 36 years old and i wish someone had told me this in my twenties.

great job, Roosh!

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

getting buff can backfire if you don’t actually know how to fight. Also, some girls aren’t into big dudes.

Also, some people don’t have the best bone structure for getting buff. Being physically fit and having strength is good, but what you really need is an iron will.

You just can’t look like a pussy, or the type of person that would get beaten up. There are guys who give off this vibe without being buff, and the mucus-tubes present themselves to these men in bounty.

Anon
Guest
Anon
Offline

“As for point #2, may I suggest take Krav Maga lessons. It’s a pure military-street fight martial art. Your testosterone levels rocket.”

Krav Maga should be renamed “knee them in the balls and scratch their eyes” a.k.a. stuff chicks who are about to get raped think will work.

The only legit combat arts are judo, BJJ, wrestling, boxing, Muay Thai, and stick/blade fighting.

(R)evoluzione
Guest
(R)evoluzione
Offline

On #1: Yes, I feel that 25 women is a minimum number to really know what’s up. Men who achieve that number without any knowledge of game are clearly naturals and need no knowledge other that what nature has blessed them with.

However for myself and a sizeable portion of other women, it was around that number where the blinders came off. Before that time, I had a a very idealistic, pedestalized view of females. I just wish it hadn’t taken me until mid-30’s to reach those milestones, to take off the blinders, swallow the red pill enthusiastically.

doesNotMatter
Guest
doesNotMatter
Offline

When people fuck a lot of women, they start doling out life advice…….so enrapuptured are they by their own wisdom. Soon this will turn into “spiritual” advice. We are waiting for the day that you start writing more on “spiritual” topics. First GoneSavage, then Stephane Hemon, Now Roosh. Miss the days when this used to be a game blog. Roissy used to be a game blog once upton a time. Krauser’s blog is still a game blog but is slowly moving into philosophy.

Anon
Guest
Anon
Offline

“Is it possible to be a man if others think you are weak and non-threatening? Is it possible to get respect from others when you look frail? As fast as I’m sure your newest smartphone can dial 911, it’s hard to feel like a man if you don’t think that other men would fear getting into a fight with you.”

There was a Punk’d episode where some guy took a baseball bat all over Wilmer Valderama’s car and he just stood there and half-heartedly begged him to stop. He still gets plenty of Hollywood pussy.

Shango
Guest
Shango
Offline

Interesting.

Only recently, as the West turned more and more secular has death become anathema. For majority of what is known as Western Civilization, accepting death was a salient characteristic (especially so if the society was specifically Christian).

People who say that the religious don’t value life either don’t understand life or religion or both. How one lives is so important to what happens after death–to the religious–that it is above all else to be valued. I’m looking at you, Gmac.

Michel
Guest
Michel
Offline

And I’m looking at you, Shango.

You preaching ass motherfucker.

Timothy
Guest
Timothy
Offline

This is a SOLID list. While some men simply don’t have physical stature, you can still get strong, and regardless of that, #3 becomes that much more important. It’s why sometimes you see little guys talkin’ mad shit, or acting crazy to make other men think twice about fucking with them. Sure, you might beat him, but at what cost? It’s more important WHERE you hit a man, not so much how often or even how hard you hit him. A well placed blow early can discourage a man from wanting to get into it with you.

The Glee Manifesto
Guest
The Glee Manifesto
Offline

You could titled this one. “How to Man Up”?

Gmac
Guest
Gmac
Offline

“People who say that the religious don’t value life either don’t understand life or religion or both.”

Shango, I don’t want to get into a religious debate here. All I will say is this: Someone who believes in an afterlife can never truly value their life as much as someone who believes this is all there is.

That said, “valuing ones life” and “living a certain way because you’re ‘afraid’ of where you’ll end up if you’re bad” are two very different things.

Rakishness
Guest
Rakishness
Offline

Every man wants to be great. The great poet Homer described this as “arete”(or excellence).

“Arete in its basic sense, means excellence of any kind. In its earliest appearance in Greek, this notion of excellence was ultimately bound up with the notion of the fulfillment of purpose or function: the act of living up to one’s full potential. Arete in ancient Greek culture was courage and strength in the face of adversity and it was to what all people aspired.”

“In the Homeric poems, Areté is frequently associated with bravery, but more often, with effectiveness. The man or woman of Areté is a person of the highest effectiveness; they use all their faculties: strength, bravery, wit, and deceptiveness, to achieve real results. In the Homeric world, then, Areté involves all of the abilities and potentialities available to humans. The concept implies a human-centered universe in which human actions are of paramount importance; the world is a place of conflict and difficulty, and human value and meaning is measured against individual effectiveness in the world.”

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

Perhaps a high risk venture nowadays, but having a large flock of well reared and behaved children, makes you a man as well. I’d venture to say, to a greater degree then any of the above. I’m talking 6+. 10+ even better. Then 5 grandchildren per. There’s no display of manhood, like needing a converted Greyhound bus to take the family to Disneyland.

Funny thing is, this is one advice that works equally well for women. It’s the path to some sort of greatness, that both sexes can walk together.

And sadly, it’s largely been lost in the West.

Timothy
Guest
Timothy
Offline

@21…I think the essence of this post is that in the past men didn’t need instructions as to how to be a man. How to feel like a man. Now, men face a certain resistance when they behave like our fathers and grandfathers.

One of my friends, now divorced from his first wife and mother of his children, took issue with his edict that he would not change diapers. She didn’t want to work. He was out building a successful private defense law practice. You can imagine the stress and responsibility that comes with that. After the long hours and stress, he wanted to come home, get out of his suit, decompress, etc. Then he was ready to give his attention to his kids, and he expected them to be handed to him clean and shitty diaper free. If they shit up another diaper, that was her job. If he’s taking such good care of everyone by providing resources and making sure every bill is paid, he doesn’t want to hear about how hard it is to take care of the kids during the day, or to have to change diapers. That isn’t unreasonable.

With his second wife, she also took issue with something SO MINOR it’s shocking. She’s also a lawyer, but is an ADA so her hours are more standard. She gets home before him and cooks. She got mad because, again, he just wanted to get home and get settled so he would be more prepared to then turn his attentions to her. She got mad because he didn’t immediately make a beeline to her after he got home. Ridiculous. Like Chris Rock said…all a man really wants is his big piece of chicken in exchange for his efforts. That a man often feels compelled to work late, or stop for a drink or something first because he so dreads coming home to face nonsense. He’s denied the simplest pleasures in his own home.

trackback

[…] Roosh posted on this today, you can use his post as a good guide, there’s some good stuff in there, […]

Gringoed
Guest
Gringoed
Offline

Amen Roosh. Essays like these are why I still read all of your blog posts.

speakeasy
Guest
speakeasy
Offline

@14

You don’t know shit about Krav Maga. I took it for 5 years and trust me, it’s a hell of a lot more than kneeing someone in the balls and scratching their eyes. Shut the fuck up if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

sheesh
Guest
sheesh
Offline

Physical strength is overvalued. A strong physical appearance can’t hurt with the other sex but fist fights are for the unwashed masses, the real battles are fought on a totally different level where education is much more important.

Timothy
Guest
Timothy
Offline

@27…yeah, I thought that comment was kind of silly too. Krav is about disabling dudes quickly (it’s dangerous to get into extended scraps with someone, giving him more opportunities to pick up a weapon or hurt YOU some other way), and it’s obviously an ignorant person that thinks the Mossad are pussies. They’re some of the illest cats on the planet.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

Physical strength is not over-valued. Power at its root is nothing more than a monopoly of violence. Civility is a human construct and a luxury that is more easy to take away than you might realize. Go to prison for a couple years and tell me physical strength is over-valued or go to the majority of countries around the world that aren’t living anywhere near the standard you enjoy in the US. Those unwashed masses you seem to hold so much disdain for make up the majority of the world’s population.

Kievy
Guest
Kievy
Offline

In Relation to Point #5

“You’re gonna’ die motherfucker, and sooner than later, so follow uncle Roosh’s advice and get down on your knees and humble yourself”

Ha

Falcon
Guest
Falcon
Offline

Krav Maga is fine but it’s not taught everywhere. Serious boxing gyms can be found almost anywhere and will be just as good.

Theoretical discussions about which martial art is better are pointless. Do those discussions in the ring, man against man.

#29 sheesh
You’re right but there are very valuable lessons to be learned for everyone in training a martial art. It builds the character and mind as well as the body.

Anonymous2
Guest
Anonymous2
Offline

A bantamweight can knock you out with a perfect bareknuckle punch to your jaw, and leave you with thousands of dollars in medical bills. No thanks.

At some point you need a bit of SWPL temperament.

Buttmunch
Guest
Buttmunch
Offline

I just took a giant poop. It looked like Roosh’s face.

Timothy
Guest
Timothy
Offline

The truly confident man, the man that KNOWS he can defend himself, doesn’t go around looking for fights. He never brags about which self-defense art he knows. You simply find out personally, and painfully, when you back him into a corner.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

So how would you classify 4 out of 6? Not bad? half a man?

sheesh
Guest
sheesh
Offline

@37 I was just wondering why Roosh didn’t stress the point of education – that to me is much more important than getting physically in shape. There are more women than men graduating from university already in lots of countries and the average school drop out these days is male. What a lot of guys on here don’t seem to see is that you can have a pectoralis as big as you want, that won’t get you respect and power in today’s society, unless of course if one is living in the ghetto.
But people have guns these days, you know…

jdelisi
Guest
jdelisi
Offline

Sounds like most of you guys generally back down even thinking about a conflict, and try to justify it by saying it will cost you too much in medical blls. About three years ago I got into my first real fight, and kicked the shit out of a guy who outweighed my by 30 lbs. Ever since then I have never backed down to anyone, I would rather get my ass kicked. At least I can walk away knowing I acted like a man.

Phil Samson
Guest

@16

There’s only so much you can write about fucking women. They’re all the same, they all fall for the same shit nearly every time. The only difference is in the amount of game and it’s deployment per each type of women. Even then, there’s probably really only 4 or 5 types of women out there. The whole thing gets monotonous, then you start repeating yourself. Tiresome, really.

Roosh is doing a great job offering a site with a healthy mix of pre game, game, and post game topics. It’s refreshing. If you’re a noob, go back and read the archives. The rest of us who know game but still like reading up to keep our skills sharp actually enjoy posts like this.

Not flaming you in the least, man. Just giving an opinion.

Keep it up, Roosh. Good stuff.

Jonathan Manor
Guest

Number 4 seems to be the most appealing to me. I feel like once I’m able to help people, that it’ll feel like I’m don’t need help growing anymore. That people need my help now, and I should be able to assist them because it should be my responsibility.

Manilow
Guest
Manilow
Offline

You forgot rule 7:

Spread the word about how evil feminism has destroyed a formerly healthy society and turned women into entitled cunts and terrorist wives.

Jordan
Guest
Jordan
Offline

You’ve really been on a roll lately with these posts Roosh….Great Stuff!

Little Egg
Guest
Little Egg
Offline

Hi!

doesNotMatter
Guest
doesNotMatter
Offline

@40 and @42 (Roosh)…….I guess I’m just getting spoilt ;-). Thanks for all the stuff on your blog. Yes, it is your blog and you can write whatever you please. I agree with both of you that the amount of stuff you can write about game is limited whenit coems to core principles. But you too must admit that the amount you can write about manosphere topics such as divorce theft, false rape, shaming tactics is also limited when it comes to basic principles. The manosphere can be summarized as
1. Don’t marry
2. Travel abroad
3. Sleep with women (actually not all)
4. The media and government want to screw beta males every way to sunday
5. False rape happens
But the number of posts based on these is humongous. See how the manosphere endlessly cogitates on these same few topics for ever and ever. Similarly it is possible to write about the same few game topics in several different ways. An example is a guy called Neo-Rio on masf and now puazone. He endlessly write explaining the same basic principle in several entertaining ways.

As for me, I prefer to read about game, field reports rather than the manosphere issues as the latter is very engative while the former is very positive. That’s all. again, it’s your blog, you can do whatever the hell you please. It’s free, so I really have no right to complain.

Once I quit this stale 60hr/week job after my legal situation improves, I’ll be gaming full time. Till then, I’ll just have to get my vicarious thrills reading about game.

doesNotMatter
Guest
doesNotMatter
Offline

and by the way Roosh….I was totally in agreement with you when you called the MRA a bunch of angry, bitter crybabies. Ofcourse if they have been robbed by the state after their divorce, not allowed to see their kids and all that stuff, then my heart goes out to them and they have every right to be angry. What gets my goat is bunch of guys in their twenties and early thirties who have never been married, never robbed by divorce, but yet like to endlessly discuss these issues and use it as an excuse to get all their negative emotions flowing. I swear to God, these guys just emjoy the emotions associated with being angry and bitter.

davver
Guest
davver
Offline

@47

Lots of people would like to get married and have a family but don’t because of all the issues discussed. Maybe they came from a good family with parents they love and want to recreate that, but realize that this generation can’t and that’s sad.

Peter Phoenix
Guest

What sort of society do we live in where we have to be told how to be a man by a blog?

fuck.

MK
Guest
MK
Offline

This post misses the mark of true power focusing only on the physical manifestation of it. Would anyone argue Mike Tyson is more of a man then Joseph Kennedy? Not me. One was “the baddest man on the planet” for a time and probably met every one of the criteria above but how fickle is that. The other was a true patriarch of old and left a destiny that lasted generations.