1. Show up at the Paraguay Consulate in Buenos Aires at 5pm. Notice they closed three hours ago.
2. Come back at 12PM the next day. Get told to fill out two forms and return with a passport photo the next day at 8am.
3. Find a photo place after 30 minutes of asking random people. Tell the photo guy you need 2×2 photos. Wonder why the photos he gives you are so tiny. Ohhh I mean inches not centimeters. My ruler doesn’t have inches.
4. Show up the next day at 8am to at least two-hundred Paraguayans waiting outside. Bypass that mess and be first in the visa (gringo) line. That’ll be $65 US. Argentine pesos not accepted. The money exchange place opens at 10am. Seriously consider if you want to go to Paraguay.
5. Mill around until 10am, get the money, pay the man. It’ll be ready Wednesday. But it’s Friday and you’re going to Uruguay the next day. Okay come back in three hours. Awesome.
6. Find something to do for three hours.
7. Come back at 1PM. Still no other gringos in sight. I guess there is a reason you have met only one or two people who have been to Paraguay. Paraguayans are giving you dirty looks. It’ll be ready in one hour. Wait here. Start losing hope as you wait past closing with a group of Paraguayans ready to explode in violence.
8. At 3PM, get called to the desk. Can I see your receipt? You didn’t get a receipt. Sir we need to see your receipt. You didn’t give me one! Okay let me see. Five minutes later… Okay no problem. Sign here and here and write a sentence saying you received the visa. Mil gracias!
9. Walk away with a huge grin on your face, staring at your seven year visa. At least it’s nothing like getting a U.S. visa. Plus now you have a safehouse if things get too hot in the States.