How To Raise A Feminist Son

There’s a blog post called How To Raise A Feminist Son over at one my guilty pleasure readings, Feministing, that is too juicy to resist commenting on. (Side note: am I the only guy who sees the word ‘Fisting’ in ‘Feministing’?)

My son is beautiful, smart, and extremely capable. Obviously, this terrifies me. I have spent a lot of time asking myself this very, very important question: How do I teach my son to not abuse his privilege?

To be sure, I recognize the privilege my son received by accident of birth. He was born to two white, middle-class parents. I have a college education, as does my current partner and my son’s father. He is an only child, and has four grandparents in his life that absolutely dote on him. There is a never-ending supply of love, learning, and involvement. My son has opportunities that many children are not blessed with.

My Comment: Liberal guilt is crushing the mother. As a result this boy will see several third world countries before his 18th birthday, his nose shoved into the trash debris of slums and ghettos to make sure he can never appreciate any future success. Also I wouldn’t consider having two mother’s an “opportunity.” Better than having one mother perhaps but not one mother and father, the most stable of family units.

We recently purchased a house, and to make the transition easier for him, we allowed my son to pick whatever color he wanted to paint his room. He originally picked pink. (My son adores pink, and spent most of his toddlerhood wearing pink and purple pajamas.) I agonized over the choice. There was a part of me that was overjoyed…my son obviously is confident in what he likes, and doesn’t feel the need to conform to what the world tells him about being a BOY. However, I flashed forward to the time when he would invite his male friends over, and they would tease him endlessly about having a “girly” room. The thought of my child being the subject of ridicule is horrifying, as I’m sure any parent can attest to. (Plus, who wants to repaint when he changes his mind in 6 months?!) Ultimately, he chose orange walls and pink trim. I still think about this incident, though, and ponder what it means to try to balance feminist parenting with living in the “real world” where kids can and do get hurt for being different.

My Comment: This boy is not going to have any male friends to invite over if he’s wearing pink clothing. I can only imagine the bulging vein that would develop in my brow if my little brothers begged for a pink room. The slapdown would be so swift and vicious that they would never consider it again. No brother or son of mine will be a beta boy on my watch. But at the same time I encourage my little brothers to grow their hair to shaggy length as opposed to the military cuts my Dad prefers and to pursue writing or artistic endeavors.

I bought butterball bro markers, crayons, and a drawing pad and for a few days it seemed like he was going go to be a Picasso, but since then the pad has found itself underneath a pile of books with his preference going to flash games he plays on the internet. No problem. But if he took an interest in dolls, pink, purple, flowers, makeup, dresses, strawberry cupcakes, or spontaneous crying or feeling I would immediately ridicule and embarrass him, calling him a “baby” and “girl,” asking him if he wants me to put on a big diaper and prepare a bottle of warm milk with honey for him to suckle on. They I will watch the hardened shell of alphaness develop, and nod my head up and down in satisfaction. I will not allow him to take on feminine pursuits that will set him up to be a sensitive wussbag who cries while watching movies like The Notebook. He will be a man, just like his big bro, and he will sleep with dozens of women and go through many STD scares until one day he gets so tired of banging that he settles down with a compliant girl who loves him unconditionally, cooks, and cleans. She will serve him while he has mistresses on the side.

My son is very sensitive. He cries easily, gets his feelings hurt often, and is generally more attuned to what is going on with people’s emotions around him. He has always been kind of my little empath, reacting to the world around him and showing every bit of what he’s feeling to anyone who may be paying attention. This causes MANY of the people around him, especially older men, to be very troubled by his shows of emotion. He has been told more times than I can count to “toughen up”, “act like a boy”, and “don’t act like such a baby, girl, (insert insulting feminine word here).” I get very frustrated trying to teach him that it is OK to be that way, no matter what the world is telling him he *should* act like. I am actually very surprised that more of the behavior hasn’t been conditioned out of him yet. I hope that reflects my never-ending support in him and how he choses to display himself. I dread the day when all the conditioning he has received about how to “act like a man” starts to take hold, and I see my beautiful son start trying to hide his emotions.

My Comment: I had to look up “empath” because I didn’t know what it meant. I figured it was related to the word empathy. Here’s Wikipedia: “…empaths are also able to project their own emotions, or to affect the emotions of others. As a result, empath is a term coming into common usage to refer to a person with a feeling expanded sensitivity or clairsentience.” In other words an empath is a woman. I’m sorry the donated sperm had a Y chromosome instead of X, but raising a boy to be a woman is child abuse, plain and simple.

I am very careful to correct people (mostly people that I know, although I have done it to strangers) when they ask my son “Oh, do you have a girlfriend?” that I do not presume my son’s sexuality, and he may very well end up with a boyfriend, or not want to have a partner at all. This is usually met with eyerolls or stern looks.

My Comment: We all know what sexuality she wants her son to be. *Wink wink*

I am outreach worker for a family planning agency, so my son has spent most of his life being immersed in a very liberal, pro-choice, diverse community. I have many friends of different orientations, ethnicities, backgrounds, and beliefs. I find myself wondering if I selfishly seek out people to be acquaintances so I can provide a diverse group of people for my son to interact with. I’m not sure how to balance my desire for him to grow up surrounded by different perspectives with the knowledge that I cannot use people’s lives to set examples for him. It’s a difficult line to straddle.

My Comment: A vagina will spontaneously erupt from this poor boy’s crotch.

Let’s be real. The title of her post should be “How To Raise A Gay Son.” That’s her outcome and that’s what she’ll get. Poor kid doesn’t even have a choice (“pro-choice,” only when it suits her). And you know her little empath is definitely going to be a bottom, letting Rico and Gary tag team him during weekend benders. Look, if my either of my little brothers become gay then I would love them not an ounce less, but I’d be a fool to encourage it.

I remember the day I caught my 11-year-old brother searching for “lesbeens kising” on YouTube. I scolded him, for his bad spelling. He’ll be alright.

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namaste
12 years ago

I completely agree that this is an issue. Whatever happened to just raising a kid to be a good person? Why all of the obsessiveness about his anti-male empathy or the color pink? It seems to me that in her quest to establish her son as different, she is actually reinforcing the binary between sexes. It’s a pity, really.

Sure, whatever, let him be aware that there are people in the world who are less advantaged, but all of this mother’s coddling is going to inevitably lead the kid to deep rebellion issues in his teen years. Who knows, he may just end up voting Republican just to spite her. Poor thing.

namaste’s last blog post: Latitudes.

Generate
Generate
12 years ago

Wait, it’s not spelled “lesbeens”?

Sameer
12 years ago

I am pretty sure that the “Fisting” in “Feministing” is intentional.

The Dude
The Dude
12 years ago

God– this is the saddest thing I have ever read. These women probably could do their son less abuse by physically beating him.

adrock
adrock
12 years ago

This women should’ve just bought a few cats. This poor boy doesn’t deserve this.

Steve Lurkel
Steve Lurkel
12 years ago

yeah, this kid’s gonna be hella soft; like velveteen teddy bears doing water ballet in a swimming pool filled with cotton candy…and rainbows.

Anonymous
Anonymous
12 years ago

I gotta related quandry. My sister and her LLP (LezLifePartner) are expecting triplets. Just posted about it. http://campfirebrew.blogspot.com/

Sweatpants
Sweatpants
12 years ago

Man. No matter what, I have to give you props for just laying it out like you do. Absolutely no pretense or beating around the bush.

Scoot
Scoot
12 years ago

“I remember the day I caught my 11-year-old brother searching for “lesbeens kising” on YouTube. I scolded him, for his bad spelling. He’ll be alright.”

LOL moment of the day for me dude!

The G Manifesto
12 years ago

I saw some “lesbeens kising” on Saturday night. At my crib at 3am. Decent.

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Treat Her Like A Lady.

Jeanne
Jeanne
12 years ago

I remember the day I caught my 11-year-old brother searching for �lesbeens kising� on YouTube. I scolded him, for his bad spelling. He�ll be alright.

That made my day.

Pedro
Pedro
12 years ago

I feel sorry for that kid. Womanfisters are usually the most wild in bed by the way. keep up the good work roosh.

AG
AG
12 years ago

Disgusting…and I am not talking about the linked article alone….read some of the comments. It sort of makes sense because theres only a certain type who would agree with the sentiments typed out in that post…check out”LlesbianLlama”‘s first comment…I couldn’t read any more, but this is one of those articles where yeah I feel bad but also angry at whats being done to that kid…its just not on…

PinkFish
PinkFish
12 years ago

They should be very happy to know they are raising a pussy that will forever have issues, be socially ill at ease and will most certainly not have an easy time transferring his knowledge of women from “being a woman” to banging women. The poor bastard’s finished. I know have a lot more perspective on this fragile dude 3 cube’s down who is still trying to lose that v-card at age 28.

Eugenius
Eugenius
12 years ago

Great post…..This kid will grow up to hate his parents, no doubt about it.

I wouldnt be surprised if he did something stupid to get attention like one day go to his receptionist job at Cosmo, stab some girl with a pink color pen (lets face there is no way he would be able to fight a man), go to jail for a year, get gang raped by 30 dudes, get out after a year, comeback and murder his shit parents – for ruining his life before he was even born. Back to jail and gangrapes…

Roosh if you can follow up on this kid like 6 months or a year from now, do it once a year, as an experiment, record whats going on, and let us know.

PS. In school and for that matter in real world, especially any other country he will never be taken seriously….batty boy… and yes first thing I though of when I saw the title of the blog was fisting 🙂

Thursday
12 years ago

But if he took an interest in dolls, pink, purple, flowers, makeup, dresses, strawberry cupcakes, or spontaneous crying or feeling I would immediately ridicule and embarrass him, calling him a “baby” and “girl,” asking him if he wants me to put on a big diaper and prepare a bottle of warm milk with honey for him to suckle on. They I will watch the hardened shell of alphaness develop, and nod my head up and down in satisfaction.

If your son/brother is choosing a pink room and plays with dolls etc., I have news for you, he’s already gay and no shaming or other efforts on you part are going to change that. Gayness seems to be caused by something hormonal that happens to the fetus in the womb, so you’ll just be making your kid miserable trying to change him. At that point it’s all just damage control.

Thursday’s last blog post: Publication.

Terps
Terps
12 years ago

Kinda makes me glad I had a tough-as-nails stepfather busting my balls growing up.

No matter how liberal you are, we have a pair of balls and testosterone in our bodies for a reason. If he wants to have a pink room, get highlights, spike up his hair and smoke pole, that’s fine. But it should be his personal choice and not an outcome of his upbringing. Men shouldn’t be conditioned in that “you shouldn’t act a certain way” mentality. That’s only gonna get you unassertiveness and other people stepping on you.

z
z
12 years ago

I side with Roosh here………1000%. The feminist is guilty of child abuse in the realest sense. She wants a gay son so she can parade him around to suit her whiterpeople-vanity. She will be elated if he is ever discriminated against so they can both be “victims”. She doesn’t deserve grandchildren of her own.

Emily
12 years ago

I just always assumed it referred to the fisting of feminists. You mean it doesn’t?

Emily’s last blog post: Where Is He?.

GJ
GJ
12 years ago

Holy crap to AG– it didn’t even occur to me to read the comments on the original post, and it is horrible. I’m trying to stop, but I can’t, it’s like watching 5,000 man-hating car accidents at once.

Jackgoesforth
12 years ago

“He will be a man, just like his big bro, and he will sleep with dozens of women and go through many STD scares…”

Nothing like multiple STD scares to give you a hardened shell of alphaness. haha, good post.

Jackgoesforth’s last blog post: The NASCAR Rednecks Depart, JGF Rejoices!.

Trannied Toddler
Trannied Toddler
12 years ago

I was that kid. I always had my dad around but he didn’t call the shots. My mom dressed me as a female character and paraded me around for trick-or-treating when I was only 2 1/2 and took the “adorable” pictures. I was kept out of sports and told things like “I think you are gentle!” and “You do not want to give yourself up to just anybody!” It’s a miracle I’m not a Pet Shop Boy but needless to say sites like this and constant field excursions are my rehab.

flip
flip
12 years ago

I think I remember seeing this very same story in Savage Love recently. Dan Savage came to the same conclusion as you Roosh… this is abuse, plain and simple.

Anonymous
Anonymous
12 years ago

give it up!
you seem to completely worship your father’s penis.
It’s not god, you idiot, just live for a bit and see what makes you happy and take the pressure off to keep having to post an opinion/broadcast your ignorance on stuff…man, I hate it when idiots find the loudspeaker.

Are pink shirts ok?
Are pink shirts ok?
12 years ago

“This boy is not going to have any male friends to invite over if he’s wearing pink clothing”

Well, I think we all can agree he’ll probably actually have a good number of males over, in his bedroom.