I recently did a lengthy interview with Stephen Heiner, a traditional Catholic writer. We talked about my path to repentance, the hagiography of our founding fathers, modern sterility, the city-countryside dichotomy, public libraries, the folly of secular marriages, birds, enduring online criticism, my future plans, and a lot more.
In your introduction [to American Pilgrim], you write, “[Y]et it totally escaped me that I was receiving from women merely what I gave them.’” Did you have an inkling of this earlier in the process? That “pickup” wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, even as you were succeeding at it?
Roosh: No, I did not see the truth until after I stopped fornicating. While pursuing women for sex, I was deceived into believing I was a “high value” man because of superficial qualities centered around my appearance and personality (but only the traits I would selectively reveal to women), and that I was entitled to a woman who was both sexually appealing like a pornographic actress, since I regularly watched porn, but also traditional with qualities such as honor, loyalty, and dedication. When I did not receive the woman I thought I deserved, one who existed primarily in my mind, I interpreted that as not indicative of my true worth or sense of delusion, since I obviously had “value” from being able to bed so many women; but this was a fault of the the women themselves, which is why I spent an inordinate amount of time publicly complaining about their collective flaws and weaknesses.
The reality of what was happening is that I was pursuing harlots and succeeding with them — and them alone — because I mirrored their moral character. We both had no faith and looked to the opposite sex to “save” our miserable lives (from not having God). In other words, I was the harlot I slept with and then publicly criticized. But these women did not save me, and I surely didn’t save any woman, so I would whine endlessly that the world is filled with “sluts” and “whores.” Without Christ, I simply couldn’t see the error of my behavior, and it wasn’t until after repentance that this was clear to me.