I Don’t Believe You

A big deal is made about women who rationalize their behavior, but it’s sometimes forgotten that men do it as well. The only difference is that men do a better job at using logic and intellect in their rationalizations, making them seem reasonable upon first glance.

The best way to test a man’s beliefs is to imagine what his behavior would be like if he achieved what he claims not to want. How long would it take a man who believes “money doesn’t bring happiness” to get used to the comfort of having $1 million in his bank account? How long would it take for an American man who is anti-marriage to change his tune if a beautiful Russian girl unexpectedly falls in love with him?

Men decide what they value in life based on their perceived limitations, already calculated by their subconscious. A man who is lazy will instinctively hate on money. A man who is anti-social will hate on game. A man who cannot love will hate on marriage. These are self-protection mechanisms, just like how a woman who can’t find a quality man flocks to feminism as her personal religion. If a game hater sees a player with a pretty girl, he must rationalize that their relationship is “shallow.” If a marriage hater reads about expats meeting feminine women who cook, he must rationalize that those women “don’t really love them.” If a low-wage cubicle peon sees a man making a lot of money on the internet, he must rationalize that the business is hard, risky, and unsustainable.

It’s okay to admit you are jealous. It’s okay to admit that another man has what you want. I won’t lie: if I see a man with a 9, I’m jealous. I wish I was banging her instead. Maybe I’m not willing to put the amount of work he has put into her, but I unequivocally would want to have sex with her. If I see an internet marketer making more money than me, I’m jealous. If a friend experiences a great moment of success that I’ve yet to have, a part of me cries on the inside.

I was recently at a cafe with a friend. Our waitress was beautiful, close to perfection. I put in my attempt and failed. Then my friend pulled out a “I’m a model scout” gimmick and got her email address. I was depressed for the rest of the day. I may have only been half-joking when I said, “If you bang her, I can’t be your friend anymore.” His attempt on her eventually failed and I was relieved. Our friendship could proceed because no jealousy would linger. Of course if he did get into a relationship with her, I doubt he would call me at all.

If I was a rationalizer, and saw my friend get her email, I would focus on her flaws and how I never really liked her in the first place, but that would be a lie. Just like how a woman’s behavior is determined by her environment, by what society allows her to do, a man’s convictions and beliefs are determined by his options and limitations. He will invent stories to soothe the pain of not getting what he wants. The less options he has, the more he will be certain that he doesn’t want money, women, or travel. It’s actually the man with the most options who is more hesitant to make bold statements, because as he has climbed the ladder of success, he has realized that new benefits and pleasures can quickly change a man’s mind.

Be careful when you make a decision on not wanting something, because one day life may give it to you. How foolish you will feel when it’s actually something you wanted all along, after all the needless energy you spent criticizing it. Being desirous and jealous of other men, it turns out, should not be avoided or buried. Instead, it should be harnessed as fuel for your own success.

Only when you have earned your first $1 million can you say that money doesn’t matter. Only until you dumped your first 9 can say you’re wholly against relationships. Only when you’ve plowed through a large number of girls in a short time can you say you don’t want to be a player. Until then, I don’t know if I can believe you when you tell me what it is that you want.

Read Next: Growth Vs Comfort

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Eisenheim Mindcrusher
Eisenheim Mindcrusher
7 years ago

Another epic. Thanks bro.

Bro2
Bro2
7 years ago

“A man who cannot love will hate on marriage.”
So, Roosh cannot love.
Is that alpha?

Jeremy
Jeremy
7 years ago

Mind blowing !!!

John Doe
John Doe
7 years ago

Roosh is starting to sound like a real pussy now. He’ll be married to some fat ugly cunt within 6 months.

John Palmer
John Palmer
7 years ago

Your recent posts have been great. Keep it up.

Days of Broken Arrows
Days of Broken Arrows
7 years ago

This is true to a large degree. But having been there, I can say there are some things I genuinely do not like and are not worth the trade-off.

I tend toward anxiety and am genuinely more happy taking the slow road, doing it my way. I’ve done the 8 and 9 thing and the high-powered work thing genuinely don’t think it’s worth the effort most of the time. Some people can keep up a level of intensity and effort for a long while. Others can’t and become weary trying. You have to know yourself.

That waitress might have turned out to be such a handful, you ended up kicking yourself for even trying. Some things are not worth the trade-off.

Maigo
Maigo
7 years ago

“A man who cannot love will hate on marriage.”

Marriage has nothing to do with love, it’s an outdated adoption ceremony from back when having a daughter just meant another mouth to feed with no useful contribution to the household.

The very notion that marriage is about love is pure disney-indoctrinated beta.

Gavin Madden
7 years ago

“Money won’t buy you happiness.”

This was surely a quote from a wealthy man warning his fellow man that the pursuit of happiness doesn’t end with wealth.

Tampa
Tampa
7 years ago

“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.”

-Gordon Gecko

British Jihadi
British Jihadi
7 years ago

Man marriage is so expensive and so is child rising..It doesn’t matter even if monica bellucci shows her pussy and asks for baby, i wont breed

Wilson
Wilson
7 years ago

“Be careful when you make a decision on not wanting something, because one day life may give it to you.”

Luckily this is very unlikely to happen, and if you haven’t been constantly striving in frustration the opportunity will quickly pass anyway.

Ryan
7 years ago

This one was profound. A metric shit-ton of truth in this post. Well done, Roosh.

Chayne
Chayne
7 years ago

Paging Mark Minter… Mr. Minter?

arafat scarf
arafat scarf
7 years ago

Good post.

It’s one thing to say the juice ain’t worth the squeeze, but only a fool would say that the juice is bad.

Days of Broken Arrows
Days of Broken Arrows
7 years ago

“It doesn’t matter even if monica bellucci shows her pussy and asks for baby, i wont breed.”

She’s 48. No breeding is going to be happening with her without very expensive science coming into the picture.

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

Tan cierto, como quitarse un ojo y quedar tuerto.

AlmostAnonymous
AlmostAnonymous
7 years ago

Envy truly is on of the seven deadly sins.

Recognize it for what it is and eliminate it from your life.

You’ll be more successful and happier.

Jeremy
Jeremy
7 years ago

This is a fantastic topic Roosh. I almost wish you and others would do a whole series on this particular topic.

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

Brazilians have a saying: Don’t spit upwards.
And another one: Never say I will never drink from that water.
They pretty much summarize your point.

Mike
Mike
7 years ago

Excellent. This post has set the tone for the rest of my day.

Thank you Roosh

zoso
zoso
7 years ago

This worth another read. Good stuff, thanks.

OlioOx
OlioOx
7 years ago

So, Roosh, how can you reconcile the thoughts expressed in this post with your pronouncements on Mark Minter?

[Roosh: What needs reconciling?]

litte roosh
litte roosh
7 years ago

This is so true. One of my friends just started f#&cking this girl I’ve been afraid to approach for months. This dude swept in and closed the deal in about an hour…. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous. I’m happy for him and jealous at the same time….

whatever
whatever
7 years ago

Ah yes, the thin line between “not believing 70 hour work weeks for 20 years to get a million dollars” doesn’t buy happiness, and the refusal to accept 1 million dollars dropped in your lap.

Or maybe he just isn’t willing to lie, cheat, and steal enough to get that million dollars. That no doubt makes him “jealous” of those who lie, cheat, and steal from him to get their million.

Such a hard to understand distinction.

Kieran
Kieran
7 years ago

Good post. I think most men rationalise just to reinforce the decision they have already made not to persue a given course of action. However, I think the original decision is generally based on a fairly reasonable assessment of effort required / risk involved in a given persuit.