I Don’t Believe You

A big deal is made about women who rationalize their behavior, but it’s sometimes forgotten that men do it as well. The only difference is that men do a better job at using logic and intellect in their rationalizations, making them seem reasonable upon first glance.

The best way to test a man’s beliefs is to imagine what his behavior would be like if he achieved what he claims not to want. How long would it take a man who believes “money doesn’t bring happiness” to get used to the comfort of having $1 million in his bank account? How long would it take for an American man who is anti-marriage to change his tune if a beautiful Russian girl unexpectedly falls in love with him?

Men decide what they value in life based on their perceived limitations, already calculated by their subconscious. A man who is lazy will instinctively hate on money. A man who is anti-social will hate on game. A man who cannot love will hate on marriage. These are self-protection mechanisms, just like how a woman who can’t find a quality man flocks to feminism as her personal religion. If a game hater sees a player with a pretty girl, he must rationalize that their relationship is “shallow.” If a marriage hater reads about expats meeting feminine women who cook, he must rationalize that those women “don’t really love them.” If a low-wage cubicle peon sees a man making a lot of money on the internet, he must rationalize that the business is hard, risky, and unsustainable.

It’s okay to admit you are jealous. It’s okay to admit that another man has what you want. I won’t lie: if I see a man with a 9, I’m jealous. I wish I was banging her instead. Maybe I’m not willing to put the amount of work he has put into her, but I unequivocally would want to have sex with her. If I see an internet marketer making more money than me, I’m jealous. If a friend experiences a great moment of success that I’ve yet to have, a part of me cries on the inside.

I was recently at a cafe with a friend. Our waitress was beautiful, close to perfection. I put in my attempt and failed. Then my friend pulled out a “I’m a model scout” gimmick and got her email address. I was depressed for the rest of the day. I may have only been half-joking when I said, “If you bang her, I can’t be your friend anymore.” His attempt on her eventually failed and I was relieved. Our friendship could proceed because no jealousy would linger. Of course if he did get into a relationship with her, I doubt he would call me at all.

If I was a rationalizer, and saw my friend get her email, I would focus on her flaws and how I never really liked her in the first place, but that would be a lie. Just like how a woman’s behavior is determined by her environment, by what society allows her to do, a man’s convictions and beliefs are determined by his options and limitations. He will invent stories to soothe the pain of not getting what he wants. The less options he has, the more he will be certain that he doesn’t want money, women, or travel. It’s actually the man with the most options who is more hesitant to make bold statements, because as he has climbed the ladder of success, he has realized that new benefits and pleasures can quickly change a man’s mind.

Be careful when you make a decision on not wanting something, because one day life may give it to you. How foolish you will feel when it’s actually something you wanted all along, after all the needless energy you spent criticizing it. Being desirous and jealous of other men, it turns out, should not be avoided or buried. Instead, it should be harnessed as fuel for your own success.

Only when you have earned your first $1 million can you say that money doesn’t matter. Only until you dumped your first 9 can say you’re wholly against relationships. Only when you’ve plowed through a large number of girls in a short time can you say you don’t want to be a player. Until then, I don’t know if I can believe you when you tell me what it is that you want.

Read Next: Growth Vs Comfort

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Eisenheim Mindcrusher
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Eisenheim Mindcrusher
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Another epic. Thanks bro.

Bro2
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Bro2
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“A man who cannot love will hate on marriage.”
So, Roosh cannot love.
Is that alpha?

Jeremy
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Jeremy
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Mind blowing !!!

John Doe
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John Doe
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Roosh is starting to sound like a real pussy now. He’ll be married to some fat ugly cunt within 6 months.

John Palmer
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John Palmer
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Your recent posts have been great. Keep it up.

Days of Broken Arrows
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Days of Broken Arrows
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This is true to a large degree. But having been there, I can say there are some things I genuinely do not like and are not worth the trade-off.

I tend toward anxiety and am genuinely more happy taking the slow road, doing it my way. I’ve done the 8 and 9 thing and the high-powered work thing genuinely don’t think it’s worth the effort most of the time. Some people can keep up a level of intensity and effort for a long while. Others can’t and become weary trying. You have to know yourself.

That waitress might have turned out to be such a handful, you ended up kicking yourself for even trying. Some things are not worth the trade-off.

Maigo
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Maigo
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“A man who cannot love will hate on marriage.”

Marriage has nothing to do with love, it’s an outdated adoption ceremony from back when having a daughter just meant another mouth to feed with no useful contribution to the household.

The very notion that marriage is about love is pure disney-indoctrinated beta.

Gavin Madden
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“Money won’t buy you happiness.”

This was surely a quote from a wealthy man warning his fellow man that the pursuit of happiness doesn’t end with wealth.

Tampa
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Tampa
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“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.”

-Gordon Gecko

British Jihadi
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British Jihadi
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Man marriage is so expensive and so is child rising..It doesn’t matter even if monica bellucci shows her pussy and asks for baby, i wont breed

Wilson
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Wilson
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“Be careful when you make a decision on not wanting something, because one day life may give it to you.”

Luckily this is very unlikely to happen, and if you haven’t been constantly striving in frustration the opportunity will quickly pass anyway.

Ryan
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Ryan
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This one was profound. A metric shit-ton of truth in this post. Well done, Roosh.

Chayne
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Chayne
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Paging Mark Minter… Mr. Minter?

arafat scarf
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arafat scarf
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Good post.

It’s one thing to say the juice ain’t worth the squeeze, but only a fool would say that the juice is bad.

Days of Broken Arrows
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Days of Broken Arrows
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“It doesn’t matter even if monica bellucci shows her pussy and asks for baby, i wont breed.”

She’s 48. No breeding is going to be happening with her without very expensive science coming into the picture.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Tan cierto, como quitarse un ojo y quedar tuerto.

AlmostAnonymous
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AlmostAnonymous
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Envy truly is on of the seven deadly sins.

Recognize it for what it is and eliminate it from your life.

You’ll be more successful and happier.

Jeremy
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Jeremy
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This is a fantastic topic Roosh. I almost wish you and others would do a whole series on this particular topic.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Brazilians have a saying: Don’t spit upwards.
And another one: Never say I will never drink from that water.
They pretty much summarize your point.

Mike
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Mike
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Excellent. This post has set the tone for the rest of my day.

Thank you Roosh

zoso
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zoso
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This worth another read. Good stuff, thanks.

OlioOx
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OlioOx
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So, Roosh, how can you reconcile the thoughts expressed in this post with your pronouncements on Mark Minter?

[Roosh: What needs reconciling?]

litte roosh
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litte roosh
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This is so true. One of my friends just started f#&cking this girl I’ve been afraid to approach for months. This dude swept in and closed the deal in about an hour…. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous. I’m happy for him and jealous at the same time….

whatever
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whatever
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Ah yes, the thin line between “not believing 70 hour work weeks for 20 years to get a million dollars” doesn’t buy happiness, and the refusal to accept 1 million dollars dropped in your lap.

Or maybe he just isn’t willing to lie, cheat, and steal enough to get that million dollars. That no doubt makes him “jealous” of those who lie, cheat, and steal from him to get their million.

Such a hard to understand distinction.

Kieran
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Kieran
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Good post. I think most men rationalise just to reinforce the decision they have already made not to persue a given course of action. However, I think the original decision is generally based on a fairly reasonable assessment of effort required / risk involved in a given persuit.

Brian
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Brian
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Very good post.

mich
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mich
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Very true. I recently was surrounded by a couple I met: a 9, and her BF. We went to the bar and got immediate attention of another 9, for the simple reason of standing next to an attractive girl, whose BF wasn’t paying attention to her. The 9 at the bar thought I was accompanied by a 9, and my value visibly increased doing nothing at all.

Lacedric Towerwood
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Lacedric Towerwood
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Saying money isn’t important is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard from anyone.

Saying looks don’t matter is so lame- I guess that’s why 22 y/o Czech girls can bring down colossal contracts modeling designer clothes and Jane doe frumpty from nowhereville USA can’t crack 30k a year??? The human mind rationalizes mediocrity because most
People aren’t a 9 or 10 or have a 7 in plus schlong or natural d cup tits or are above average height

I hear the words from a Depech Mode song- it’s a competitive World. So true. It sucks losing and people rationalize away their short comings to accept mediocracy. It’s all sad really.

I guess they like sleeping in a tent eating canned beans dating their hand???

Haters are going to hate regardless.

I would add on the meta physical and human pride doesn’t matter but go walk around down town Chicago and it does. It’s like medieval Europe to to the monastery and chant and get on a higher metaphysical and or be a 6,4 tall strong blonde Viking and kick everyone else’s butt into submission for your own gain.

Psssssss-
Players what’s the average cost/ day in USD$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ to game in Poland?

mich
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mich
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By the way, the couple consisted of a 9, her BF a 6 or 7, quite boring and with some beta features. So yes, I confess I was jealous of the guy.

Joe Dick
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Joe Dick
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well, just because someone, say, bangs lots of wasted bitches in a bar, doesn’t mean it’s what I want, even if I never really banged any wasted bitches. I already know they’d get on my nerves with their mindlessness, so I avoid them. I can’t stand drunk people. I also have always been kind of anti-social, and yet I really like game, and neither I dislike all people. Game feels like you are making bets with yourself, and you learn lots of things that go way beyond having sex for one night with a girl you don’t really care about. As for people who have a lot more than I do, I am jealous only if I know they had luck more than skill. So if a guy fucks a woman I desired, I’ll be jealous if he’s better looking, but if he looks similar to me (average) then I’ll actually feel good for him, because I know it wasn’t down to looks, but because the guy did something I didn’t. But sometimes isn’t your fault: maybe the bitch liked him best, end of story. Who the fuck cares? Same with someone who made money. If he started with nothing or almost nothing, I feel admiration, not jealousy. But if it turns out his parents are both doctors who sent his ass to law school and therefore has always been ‘well-adjusted’ (I am maladjusted, although I love my parents), then I’ll be jealous. I am jealous of fuckers with no talent who still get what I want. That’s why I will never learn anything ‘game’ from a good looking guy. It’s like a marathon and they have longer legs. I like to learn from people who weren’t born with a spoon in their mouth. I learn from them the best, and I truly admire them.
Roosh is one of them although he was lucky too, in the beginning : when I was 21, I had not idea of ‘game’, I had to wait another 12 years when I got a computer to wake up and learn how the world worked. If I’d tell you what I believed then about women, you’d laugh. I was too nice. I laugh about it too, now. But unfortunately to me this type of understanding came late, I am a late bloomer, and the later you are, the harder it gets. I did pretty well, though, because I know I tried hard, although after a while I just decided it wasn’t worth it. Women aren’t really a problem, for me: I already believe I learned all I’ll ever need. But there’s so much else that’s missing. The only thing I am blessed with, is that I am no fat ass. But I learn from history too, so when I feel sorry for myself, I am always reminded that there has been much worse. Here’s the thing: you can’t take ‘game’ too seriously. I’d say it’s an excellent springboard for general self-development, but you can’t overrate pussy. It’s just pussy. You can’t take women seriously. For Roosh is different, he even has a viable business about game, he travels, I am not saying at all than in his case isn’t worth it. But once you learned to approach women and fucked a few, what else is there? You can’t waste your time for a meaningless bitch who will fuck the next guy at the club. I think that the best thing I learned from game is how I feel completely detached from women now. How much time can you spend with them, before boring the shit out of yourself? Better to pursue higher purposes.

PS. when I hear some stupid people saying ‘money don’t buy happiness’, I’d roundhouse-kick them, a’ la Jackie Chan. What a stupid fucking retarded statement. Obviously these are people who never been hungry or lived in a broken apartment. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it makes them happier, idiots.

What I find absolutely unforgivable, are people who MADE money and lived like recluses or didn’t make an effort to mingle with people, combat their shyness, and explore the world, at least the one around them. And I am speaking as an highly introverted guy. If you have the means and you stay at home, you deseve to be bitchslapped. You do not deserve what you have. Same if you have a good family (even with no money), if they love you, don’t take them for granted, one day you’ll be sorry.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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A jealous man is a sad shell of a man.

Chris J.
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Chris J.
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@28 Lacedric

Wut?

I live in Chicago, but not quite understanding your point about downtown.

On a side note: pussy from and decent relationships with attractive chicks seem a lot easier to come by in Chi compared to the general discontent and ‘hardship’expressed in the manosphere. I’ve seen some busted dudes with chicks that look like they came straight out of a Bangros. production.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Basically people should be open minded. Also, I know I dont wanna get married right now. I’m too damn young and still figuring out my own life to consider sharing it with a woman. If you were to ask me if I would ever find a soulmate/truly great wife, I would tell you no. But thats based on my current experiences. I think for the most part marriage is bullshit, but I welcome the woman who would convince me otherwise.

seth
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seth
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Game should be defined as tactics and strategies. Once it enters the realm of personal development, it should stop being called ‘game’. Game is based purely in the social realm.

Another point – game is hard to master and most guys i know who are good with women rely on things other than game. Game is about closing those already interested in you, not about converting the no’s to yes’s, for most men. So can we really call not fucking up ‘game’?

There are tons of non-alpha, non-beta men out there with hot/cute women. They have no game. Other factors are at play and while game can be helpful, it only somewhat increases the probability. As such, it is up to each man to determine the return on investment of game, but it isn’t the be all and end all of meeting women.

Johannes
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Johannes
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“Be careful when you make a decision on not wanting something, because one day life may give it to you.”

Be more careful when you make a decision on wanting something, because one day life may give it to you.

wiseignorant
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wiseignorant
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Sour Grapes (An Aesop fable)

A very hungry fox walked into a vineyard where there was an ample supply of luscious looking grapes. Grapes had never looked so good, and the fox was famished. However, the grapes hung higher than the fox could reach. He jumped and stretched and hopped and reached and jumped some more trying to get those yummy grapes, but to no avail. No matter what he tried, he could not reach the grapes. He wore himself out jumping and jumping to get the grapes.

“Those grapes surely must be sour,” he said as he walked away, “I wouldn’t eat them if they were served to me on a silver platter.”

moral:
It is easy to hate what you cannot have.

Will Best
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Will Best
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“If you have the means and you stay at home, you deseve to be bitchslapped. You do not deserve what you have.” – You have this backwards. Staying at home and living a simple life of non-consumerism is how working/middle class people accumulate a decent amount of wealth.

You have a point in the sense that you can’t take that money with you, and if you aren’t leaving it to your progeny there isn’t a reason to having it.

M
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M
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I’ve read a long time without comment. This was truly one of your best, Roosh.

yurko
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yurko
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Yeah, you cannot give up things you’ve never had.

Arvin Schlongberg
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Arvin Schlongberg
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Rooshise pie-
Do you still go out hunting muff or has DC got you so depressed you just jerk off in the basement? Post us a field manifesto about your schlep for shiksa juice.

Steve
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Steve
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Another great post

Ocean
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Ocean
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This is just the antidote to those lame fuckers that think they are son / daughter of Confucius by warning you “Be careful what you wish for”.

auspicious D
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auspicious D
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got my dick sucked by a hot brazilian female yesterday! ooh yeah

LaCubanita
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LaCubanita
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Rooshinho,
I came across your blog over a week ago and have read just about everything. I was admittedly repulsed at first but intrigue captivated me. You have nailed (no pun intended) the pulse of young women today. Generalizations and contradictions (to raw dog or not) aside, you’ve written some real gems. I just wanted to encourage you to continue living life on your terms even if that means settling down in the future with the next “Mariana”. While superficial intimacy is fun and exciting, there’s no substitute for that connection you experience with someone on a deeper, trust based level especially as you mature. I have this romantic notion that you will find her and give her some oral sex!! ha ha
A word on men’s rights: having worked in a law office for several years now I have seen a trend where men are just as likely to get the children in a divorce or subsequent change in custody.
Cuba/girls: I have seen 8s and 9s with below average men. These men no doubt are as masculine as you can get and as you know girls eat that up. You’ll want to stay away from the touristy venues as women are not allowed in unescorted. I had to show my passport to prove I was American and not a “jinetera”. It is a very poor country, but I didn’t see anyone living in cardboard shacks like brazil and mexico. I visited this killer two story apartment with a personal balcony pool within blocks from “el malecon”.
Best wishes!
La Cubanita

Tom Dane
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Tom Dane
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I want to make billions and bang 10s. Guess my self-protection filter doesnt work very well.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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That was well said. I completely agree with Roosh on this assessment.

Sub
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Sub
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Why can’t you just be happy for your mate and try harder for the next girl? We are all not made the same (we react differently as humans) and your reaction would not be the same as mine. All you reveal by your reaction is your weakness.

You are an alpha? I don’t believe you.

jimmyjon
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jimmyjon
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Sex and money are alike in that they are both more important when you don’t have them.

darkmat
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darkmat
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This is such an insightful post, Roosh. It makes me reflect on what I truly want.

What I got from this is that I should first experience or at least imagine to a good extent how it would feel to get the want being described.

If the feeling felt is happiness, then I should make no excuses and pursue this want. But if I feel none, then I should move on.

This time, no more rationalizations.

Thanks man,
Darkmat

Phil
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Phil
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Excellent post overall. Still, a western man in a western country has every reason to hate the notion of marriage, whether or not he’s getting laid.

Marriage, for most of Roosh’s readers, is simply a bad deal. Nothing more to it than that, no demons in my subconscious making me say that. It’s a just a bad deal for the man.