A big deal is made about women who rationalize their behavior, but it’s sometimes forgotten that men do it as well. The only difference is that men do a better job at using logic and intellect in their rationalizations, making them seem reasonable upon first glance.
The best way to test a man’s beliefs is to imagine what his behavior would be like if he achieved what he claims not to want. How long would it take a man who believes “money doesn’t bring happiness” to get used to the comfort of having $1 million in his bank account? How long would it take for an American man who is anti-marriage to change his tune if a beautiful Russian girl unexpectedly falls in love with him?
Men decide what they value in life based on their perceived limitations, already calculated by their subconscious. A man who is lazy will instinctively hate on money. A man who is anti-social will hate on game. A man who cannot love will hate on marriage. These are self-protection mechanisms, just like how a woman who can’t find a quality man flocks to feminism as her personal religion. If a game hater sees a player with a pretty girl, he must rationalize that their relationship is “shallow.” If a marriage hater reads about expats meeting feminine women who cook, he must rationalize that those women “don’t really love them.” If a low-wage cubicle peon sees a man making a lot of money on the internet, he must rationalize that the business is hard, risky, and unsustainable.
It’s okay to admit you are jealous. It’s okay to admit that another man has what you want. I won’t lie: if I see a man with a 9, I’m jealous. I wish I was banging her instead. Maybe I’m not willing to put the amount of work he has put into her, but I unequivocally would want to have sex with her. If I see an internet marketer making more money than me, I’m jealous. If a friend experiences a great moment of success that I’ve yet to have, a part of me cries on the inside.
I was recently at a cafe with a friend. Our waitress was beautiful, close to perfection. I put in my attempt and failed. Then my friend pulled out a “I’m a model scout” gimmick and got her email address. I was depressed for the rest of the day. I may have only been half-joking when I said, “If you bang her, I can’t be your friend anymore.” His attempt on her eventually failed and I was relieved. Our friendship could proceed because no jealousy would linger. Of course if he did get into a relationship with her, I doubt he would call me at all.
If I was a rationalizer, and saw my friend get her email, I would focus on her flaws and how I never really liked her in the first place, but that would be a lie. Just like how a woman’s behavior is determined by her environment, by what society allows her to do, a man’s convictions and beliefs are determined by his options and limitations. He will invent stories to soothe the pain of not getting what he wants. The less options he has, the more he will be certain that he doesn’t want money, women, or travel. It’s actually the man with the most options who is more hesitant to make bold statements, because as he has climbed the ladder of success, he has realized that new benefits and pleasures can quickly change a man’s mind.
Be careful when you make a decision on not wanting something, because one day life may give it to you. How foolish you will feel when it’s actually something you wanted all along, after all the needless energy you spent criticizing it. Being desirous and jealous of other men, it turns out, should not be avoided or buried. Instead, it should be harnessed as fuel for your own success.
Only when you have earned your first $1 million can you say that money doesn’t matter. Only until you dumped your first 9 can say you’re wholly against relationships. Only when you’ve plowed through a large number of girls in a short time can you say you don’t want to be a player. Until then, I don’t know if I can believe you when you tell me what it is that you want.
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