“I Fell In Love And Got Married”

At the grocery store I ran into one of the first Polish girls I ever approached. Five months had since passed. She asked me what I was up to, surprised that I was still in the city. I said, “I fell in love and got married.” Her eyes and mouth opened wide until I let her know I was joking.

I thought about that little encounter afterwards, particularly how my whole strategy with women for the previous ten years is to bang them as quickly as possible with the least amount of work and bullshit. I’ve created an efficient factory assembly line that is custom-made for fucking and almost nothing else.

I don’t want to go for daytime hikes or romantic walks.
I don’t want to go to museums.
I don’t want to dine in restaurants.
I don’t want to solve a girl’s problems.
I don’t want to go on little vacations to the beach.
I don’t want to spend quality time.

On any given night I want to have a couple drinks, a couple laughs, and then fuck. I’m so dedicated to this goal that one outcome keeps repeating: short relationships that usually die after the second or third bang. There are no hard feelings, no tears, just a silent, non-dramatic end that quietly fades from both of our lives when it’s clear that two fucks was all I wanted from her. Then I go out and find another girl who is similar but different enough to keep me interested in order to repeat the same process over again.

Have I lost a part of what it takes to be happy in a long-term relationship of mutual sharing and companionship? I’m not sure, but when you’re a man with options who can fuck as much as your dick can handle, you don’t lose sleep wondering whether you’re on the right path or not. When you have a solitary life in strange cities without friends, you don’t care for much more than drinking and fucking. The particular lifestyle I’ve signed up for is making it increasingly unlikely that a monogamous relationship will happen for me.

It doesn’t help that the more I become the man I’ve always wanted to be, the harder it is to find a woman who stimulates me both intellectually and emotionally. It’s as if my experience is pricing me out of the world dating market, which was best explained by commenter Begby a few months ago:

The supreme irony of it all is that as soon as you’ve [become accomplished] and met all of [your] goals that make you interesting, funny, strong, attractive, and alpha, you are going to be WAY better than any potential woman you will end up with. You will be dumpster diving for the rest of your life because no woman can really measure up to a fully developed man. It’s called penis envy.

Why on earth would you treat them as anything but disposable toys, to be used 3 or 4 at a time and then discarded in short order? They are all inferior to the self-possessed man, so why would we want to spend our lives with inferior people? You let them stick around long, and they start working to ruin your life and keep you emotionally unbalanced so they can control you. Then when you are worn down enough to give them some of that control, they feel they “conquered” you, and are no longer attracted to you.

When is the last time a woman entertained you for hours, made you laugh, said witty things that she made up on her own, etc? Like never? All they are good for is sex, and even that is boring after a few times with the same girl.

Men really did get the short end of the stick on this planet—having to bust our ass 24/7 in a misguided effort to impress people who are far inferior to us.

The Polish girl at the grocery store believed my joke because she barely knew me. Otherwise she would just roll her eyes, because the outcome I told her would simply never happen.

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Tampa
Tampa
8 years ago

There is something to be said about the equilibrium of being in a fun, healthy, sexually fulfilling long term relationship. As much as I walk around my office building thinking about bending over every hot chick i see walking past me, there is something thoroughly enjoyable about spending quality intimate time with a hot ass intellectually stimulating chick who likes to fuck. It’s nice to come home to a hot chick, a good mean, some sex and quality down time. Man can’t be chasing his whole life, it takes too much energy.

Heck, fucking really doesn’t get good until you’ve banged her out a couple of times anyways. The worse sex is always the first five times you tap it. I might have disagree about the virtues and positives of your lifestyle. It has a lot of perks, but total fulfillment and calm is not going to be obtained putting six drinks down a night and rolling over another hot blonde. There is a happy medium.

P. Bateman
8 years ago

I know what this feels like. Five years ago, I could make it six months without getting bored. I could tolerate doing some of the boring couple crap, like going for brunch or walks. I would go out for a nice dinner. I would entertain them while they proceeded to rant about all the drama in their life. Now, I can barely make it six times seeing them without just fading away.

Sad thing is six months was nothing to begin with. That period has just declined as the awareness of my options just increased with age and experience. There was a time when the chase was exciting, but getting to know a girl was also fun. Those times are long gone. The former is and will always be there, the latter on the other hand….

expats
expats
8 years ago

“making it increasingly unlikely that a monogamous relationship will happen for me”

I feel pretty much in the same situation

But never say never! 🙂

How´s Fall in Poland, Roosh? Does day game on hot chicks still work when it gets cold?

The Glee Manifesto
The Glee Manifesto
8 years ago

The great leveler: aging. And also health. One is inevitable and the other you may not be able to control.

Eventually you might hit a point where you know the hammer is going to drop. This could be ten years from now though, or 5, who knows..

You see what happens when a star quarterback or boxer or whatever athlete stays in the game a bit too long.

It’s called entropy isn’t it?

F2
F2
8 years ago

My God, what a sad and pathetic life.

No friends, no accomplishments, no direction. Just hanging out, getting drunk, and having sex with sluts.

Me
Me
8 years ago

It’s hard because most the “good” women are snatched up when they are young and so the sluts and the feminazis are left.

Anon
Anon
8 years ago

“It’s nice to come home to a hot chick, a good meal, some sex and quality down time.”

Yup, plenty of married men would kill for that.

“My God, what a sad and pathetic life. No friends, no accomplishments, no direction. Just hanging out, getting drunk, and having sex with sluts.”

You just described the typical American male in his 20s, except for the sex part.

Piano Keys
Piano Keys
8 years ago

@4 Aging sucks for women, but for men…? our best athletes have long and prosperous careers (Bernard Hopkins, Nolan Ryan, Jack Nicholson, Sean Connery).

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Women might be to close to nature to be as individuated as men. Like cats, they are mysterious when you’re a kid, but you learn all their tricks and they lose their power. Sure, you still like to pet them, but the mystery is gone.

I wonder if lesbians feel the same way about their bottoms/subs. There’s usually a ‘girl’ and ‘guy’ role.

dickbutt
dickbutt
8 years ago

i shed a tear for existential roosh :_(

asdfasdf
asdfasdf
8 years ago

Man don’t say I didn’t warn you. Game is a great equalizer. It’s worth learning and learning well. But it’s not an end in and of itself.

Banging girls night after night is pleasurable, but just like anything else pleasurable, it can become a destructive addiction. You’ve put yourself at real risk for STDs like Herpes or HIV, unwanted pregnancy , syphilis, etc , because you are addicted to the feeling of ‘conquering’ new girls , and you are deathly afraid of real intimacy.

Roosh I think you are afraid that the girl will not be ‘good enough’ for you. If this is true, it’s a deeply narcissistic and destructive perspective on life. I’m sure you’ve rejected at least a few girls who would have made good long term partners had you not had the psychological hang-ups you do. And now what you do has become an addiction — an end in and of itself.

I’m sure it’s just as much of an addiction for you as heroin is for me.

Heroin is great for laying down a vocal track , but you can’t do it for more than a few days.. You get a tolerance, waste your money, and soon it will not bring you happiness, only ruin.

Just like heroin (I should know , I’m a former user) , you cannot depend on using game to chase girls for meaningless fucks to bring you happiness. Eventually the ‘rush’ it brings your dopamine system fades, and instead of making you happy and getting you high, eventually it just makes you depressed, sad, lonely, and irritable.

Once you’ve spent all your money and time on it, you have nothing really to show for it except an addiction.

The most fulfilling things in my life have been:
1) My passions (producing music, studying neurology , etc).
2) My family (and spending time with them)
3) My girlfriend (of two years now, after playing the field for a few years)

I’m 29.

There are some incredible things I’ve gotten from my current LTR. Although I don’t get the ‘rush’ of conquering new girls night after night, I’m fortunate enough that my girlfriend is sweet, kind, sexy, feminine (she’s a nurse), witty, is kinky in bed, and loves to travel and have adventures with me. We’ve traveled the world together, including to Lebanon and South America.

Things aren’t perfect, and my LTR is not easy. At times it’s been really hard, and it’s frightening to put yourself on the line (including your deepest hopes and fears etc) and risk rejection , but still , there you are , with a stronger relationship, travelling to a huge party in a different city this coming weekend.

I guess what I’m saying is that my LTR has been really hard. Psychologically, it’s been really risky and I’ve had to ‘get over’ my own ego. My girlfriend has had to ‘grow up’ and learn to stop acting naive. But the rewards have been immense. I never feel lonely. My girlfriend goes out of her way to please me. She’s adventurous and brings out the best in me, and I bring out the best in her.

Together we feel as if everything is as it should be, that I know that she’s there to support me and give herself to me , and she trusts me to lead us through life. I feel like a man who is complete, and she feels like a woman who is complete.

I think anyone who doesn’t really try having a ‘real’ LTR for a year or two is missing out. Falling deeply in love is one of life’s greatest gifts. Unlike heroin or meaningless sex, the pleasure of really deep love only grows.

flyfreshandyoung
8 years ago

Falling in love is transactional, and it’s pretty hard to do it when you have reached a high enough level that most women have nothing to offer that is valuable enough to warrant the transaction.

It has nothing to do with “letting yourself open up” or “being a ‘human being'” or any of that bullshit.

A.B. Dada
8 years ago

Roosh just jinxed himself.

Every time a guy I know finally gets the grasp of their ability to screw dozens of women consistently, they run into “The One” and develop terrible Oneitis.

I’ve seen it happen over and over and over again. And over again.

Let’s have a betting pool: I bet Roosh finds “The One”, develops terrible Oneitis, this site goes quiet…around February of 2012.

If she dumps his beta ass by August, he’ll come back. If she doesn’t, R.I.P. RooshV.com

Alex
Alex
8 years ago

Roosh, I feel for ya!

Years ago, I was advised by a pussy-getting alpha mentor – a Japanese kickboxing coach, of all things – on getting pussy. Haru was nearly 40 years old, yet he constantly entertained a bevy of young, hot & interesting chicks. Any dude would quickly wife up any of his castaways.

“Young dick is like machine gun,” Haru said. “Always shooting, always firing, never caring what it hits.” Haru explained that as we get older, though, our weapon changes. Men become snipers. We focus on one specific woman who interests us. We fuck them for a longer period of time than the notches on our bedposts. This woman sticks around longer than a throwaway chick because, well, she’s a prize (to be differentiated from the no-no of “putting pussy on a pedastal – I totally agree with you on that, Roosh).

Until now, I never understood what Haru meant. I’m 38 years old. I’m in a respected profession. I’ve bedded nearly 100 women. In my college years, my life was very similar to yours. It was fun. Exciting. But it’ll wear on ya. Pimpin’ ain’t easy for a reason, my friend! It takes a tremendous amount of mental energy, focus, patience and “game raising” to get laid on a regular basis (even though it can sometimes be effortless at certain times. So nice when that happens).

My present girlfriend turns a blind eye when an occassional “other woman” briefly steps into my life. She gives hall passes when I travel out of state. It’s not perfect – I wish I was more attracted to my girlfriend, actually – but it’s a good life. She pleases me on many levels beyond sex.

Roosh, you live a great life. I’d love to travel the world getting laid. But trust me, you will find moments of loneliness and emptiness; no matter how much pussy you bang. It’ll never be enough. And you’ll start hating these chicks, which is a horrible irony toward the path of becoming a great lover.

Consider becoming a sniper. I’m not saying settle down – NEVER settle down – but consider raising your weapon toward women you have genuine interest in. Ladies who are smart as you, funny, interesting, etc. Chicks you can actually hang out with. Groom her toward your lifestyle. If she balks, either let her go or become her friend (hanging out with girls I banged sometimes got me laid by their friends or acquaintances).

Just some thoughts. It’s time to change something up if/when you start hating these chicks.

Peace! Don’t stop rappin’!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

uh huh. I’m sure your philosophy has nothing to with the fact that you fear opening yourself to an LTR and painful rejection.

Also, what about kids?

Steven Lurkel
Steven Lurkel
8 years ago

@15 “Also, what about kids?”

Man, fuck kids (no pedo.)

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Ask any player, and 9 times out of 10 the person is a former loser and/or someone who suffered through one painful LTR before discovering game. These are the ones who are lonely and angry at women, despite all the pussy. They take comfort in their belief that surely they are happier than other men who have chosen to settle down, don’t have a number in the triple digits, etc.

Roosh has no friends or family where he lives abroad. His entire income seems to be based on selling books in which he writes about how to pick up women. He’s put pussy on a higher pedestal than he’ll ever admit to, but the rationalization hamster is strong in this one.

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

I hate to say it but you really just have not met the right girl. I always refused to believe I would settle down, enjoying a life of singledom. Then every now and then I meet a girl and it all just falls into place. It doesnt always last forever but I truly believe its better to have loved than lost as it’s so much more rewarding than months upon months of chasing tail.
You just havnt met that hot piece of ass that keeps you intellectually and physically stimulated. You may never. So it’s all good that you feel this way. But deep down you know you are kidding yourself.

Giovonny
Giovonny
8 years ago

“I’ve created an efficient factory assembly line that is custom-made for fucking and almost nothing else.”

Thats a beautiful sentence.

“My God, what a sad and pathetic life.

No friends, no accomplishments, no direction. Just hanging out, getting drunk, and having sex with sluts.”

Writing books as a location independent author is a pretty impressive accomplishment, isn’t it?

Becoming a world class seducer and seduction coach is a pretty cool direction, right?

Having sex with sluts is our primary biological function as men isn’t it?

What do you do for a living?

Jay Gatsby
Jay Gatsby
8 years ago

@12 Flyfresh is right, but for the wrong reason. It has little to do with the value a woman brings to the table. Rather, it’s simply having the freedom to choose the woman with whom you want to have a relationship. She doesn’t have to be your equal in looks, intelligence, etc… That is often a recipe for disaster, as such women are pretty much men in female bodies. They will compete with you, making your life miserable.

Having the freedom to choose your mate, and having her eternally grateful to be your mate, is the way of the alpha.

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Lol at the haters.

“Haven’t met the right girl.” Where do you suggest he look in this post apocalyptic feminist wasteland? What about the 50% divorce rate? Or the fact that over half the adult age female population is overweight [and a third obese?] Should he “man up” like he satirized in a previous post?

Get.
The.
Fuck.
Out.

RooshV, more of a man than any of you will ever be.

Me
Me
8 years ago

@ 21,

Seriously, stop sounding butt hurt. Yes, Roosh is probably a great man and you are probably a great person also but, while you say what you say chances might be that thats where the love of your life MIGHT come from. Never say never is my approach cause karma can be a bitch.

Rakishness
Rakishness
8 years ago

It’s funny how you guys claiming LTRs are great manage to stumble upon a blog about SEX and TRAVEL. LMAO!

Stop deluding yourselves.

Sam Spade
Sam Spade
8 years ago

It doesn’t sound like what you want, so don’t worry about it.

Down the road you may change your mind. And if you do, you’ll be equipped with the best judgment possible.

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Just read an excellent post on krauser’s blog that is the perfect opposite to this.