I Got Robbed

On my third day.

August 10 is Quito’s Independence Day, but the celebration started the night before. I was observing a staged reenactment in Plaza Grande until I got bored and decided to walk back to my hostel. One particular street crossing was very crowded and there was a lot of unnecessary pushing and shoving by teenagers. Two thoughts went through my head:

1. This feels like a mosh pit.
2. This is how people get their pockets picked.

I went back to the hostel and noticed my wallet was not in my front pocket. I went through three minutes of panic looking for it everywhere, even in places I knew it couldn’t be at—but it was gone. I always thought I’d feel a pick pocket, but I guess their business is making sure you don’t.

The damage was $80 and two expired credit cards I was using as mugger bait to distract the respectable stash hidden in a pouch next to my crotch. My innocence as a traveler has been lost for all eternity.

15 Comments

  1. mike says August 14, 2007 at 10:50 am

    sumbumbabitch!

  2. virglekent August 14, 2007 at 11:23 am

    What was the last thing I told you when you left? Damn, sometimes I feel like we don’t listen to each other whatsoeva

  3. Arjewtino August 14, 2007 at 11:25 am

    It’s almost like you knew it was going to happen.

    Roosh
    July 23rd, 2007 at 11:26 am

    Damn that really sucks. This is definitely a story I didn’t want to see.

  4. dpdawson August 14, 2007 at 4:28 pm

    Better than getting mugged (Amsterdam), which isn’t even that bad as long as you are looking back on it as someone still, you know, alive.

  5. Jay Gatsby August 15, 2007 at 10:58 am

    Good idea with the mugger bait in the back pocket wallet. Likewise, good call on the crotch wallet. First, the neck/chest pouch wallet is usually given away by the string at the back of the collar. While it is a good deterrent from being the victim of a pickpocket, it doesn’t do much to deter muggers. Second, no self-respecting South American man (or any heterosexual man) will consider groping your crotch for other “valuables” (yes, this begs for a crown jewels joke, but it’s too obvious).

  6. Roissy August 15, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    yo roosh, did you feel the lima earthquake?

  7. Genevieve August 16, 2007 at 8:55 am

    Dude, like ArJew said- you should’ve been totes prepared for that. Still sucks, though.

    I’m never going to South America. Either that or I’m keeping my money up my crotch.

  8. Roosh August 16, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    We felt nothing in quito.

  9. Phil August 16, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    The first of many, I suspect.

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  13. anon February 22, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    Robbed does not equal pickpocketed. Getting robbed is more like a mugging or an actual assault. Looks like you’re still pretty innocent.

  14. victorya September 22, 2010 at 10:45 am

    learn how to protect your valuables
    avoid becoming prey for thieves, all they can learn from the book “THINK LIKE A BURGLAR”
    if you want to learn more visit site http://secure-your-valuables.com/

  15. Dirk Diggler May 15, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    Next time make it about $15.