I Got the Giardia

I have parasites attached to the wall of my small intestine, sucking away my nutrients and causing unspeakable bathroom adventures. I saw a doctor and she prescribed me something to defeat the flagellated monsters that are dampening my already mediocre South American experience. The only side effect is urine that has a neon yellow appearance. It’s like I’m radioactive!

There are a couples ways to get giardia, but this is how I think I got it:

1. Some guy took a monster dump and wiped his ass. He did not wash his hands, which now contained fecal matter.
2. He cooked up a meal, poking and prodding said meal with his feces soaked paw.
3. He served that meal to me.
4. I ingested his feces.

What’s good about South America is that when something good happens, like you find an internet connection faster than dial-up or a clean toilet bowl not dirtied by someone with the same condition as you, it brings you that much more happiness. Still, I’m going to need a little more than being able to watch a YouTube video.


  1. Bobby Rio September 20, 2007 at 9:43 am

    Hate to repeat myself but fuck Peru, equador, new guinia, and the rest of the less than desirable countries… they will burn you out before you get to the good ones. You’ll wind up getting sick of south america before you get to experience its bliss.

    Rebook your flights and spend most your time in:

    Buenos Aires
    Chile (never been there but heard good things)
    Rio de Janiero (dont go first cuz you won’t leave)
    Fortaleza Brazil
    Meddellin, Colombia (be careful of kidnappers)
    Montevideo, Uruagauy
    Flioronopolis, brazil
    the ilsand of san paulo (going to the city of san pualo is your choice… basically a friendlier NY)
    The rain forest (you won’t get pussy but may as well see it since you’re there.

    Lets put it this way… if you were in Rio the only reason you would be posting on the internet is to show us pics of the beautiful ladies you are banging.. and the only reason you would have to see a doctor is to get some antibotics for a case of clap you got from fortetting to wear a rubber.

    just my thougths

  2. The Brooklyn Boy September 20, 2007 at 10:22 am

    Damn, dude. Feel better, and keep enjoying the trip overall. The updates are interesting.

  3. Roissy September 20, 2007 at 10:25 am

    ah, this is what it’s all about. robberies, gunfire, parasites, neon piss… truly the authentic experience. you will be a better man from this.

  4. boc September 20, 2007 at 10:32 am

    just learned about that in school yesterday.. good for damaging the dna of prokaryotes, and doesn’t affect eukaryotic cells. safe travels


  5. eugenius September 20, 2007 at 11:38 am

    Bobby Rio is right……but make sure Rio or Buenos Aires is the last stop, if you want to leave that continent in a good mood with good memories… Your strength will be much needed in these two cities, so don’t waste too much on shit holes towns in countries like Ecuador The only positive about being mugged, shots fired, parasites…..is that as you move on towards more civilized areas everything there will seem so much better.

    PS. Added bunus is that your new appreciation will lead you to kiss the ground when you get back to US 🙂

  6. eugenius September 20, 2007 at 11:40 am

    ….I love how the side effects of your new medicine from diarrhea are more vomiting and diarrhea….nice…

  7. suicide_blond September 20, 2007 at 11:41 am

    and you want me to believe that no anal sex was involved?? 😉
    seriously..hope you feel better soon

  8. Nikita September 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    not to make you feel worse, but my best friend got giardia our freshman year of college and, despite technically overcoming the illness, she now refers to her uber-sensitive stomach as “g-boy.” fried and spicy foods have proven to be particularly persistent annoyances. get comfortable with intestinal explosions, man. it could be a lifelong thing.

  9. genxraver September 20, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    hey man

    you got the giardia. i’m a med school student so maybe i can tell you a bit about it. yea you may have got it from touching a guy’s feces indirectly. but the most common way of getting it is drinking water that is not sterile. giardia isnt really deadly or anything but it does cause fatty diarheaa, which means you wont absorb as much fat in your diet which means you can binge on cheesecakes. your doc should have prescribed metronidazole. feel better

  10. Nabs September 20, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    Well you could have ended up with typhoid, which also occurs due to ingestion of fecal matter…

  11. Nullpointer September 20, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    I told you saw when you left.

    Everyone, was like no Peru and Ecuador are not that bad! Right!

    Make sure you stop by San Pedro de Atacama y Pedro de Valdivia in Chile. Arica is nice too.

    I hope you at least get to see Machu Picchu.

  12. Jewcano September 20, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    Dude, you get laid down low sick more than anyone else our age I know.

  13. OG Sally September 21, 2007 at 12:02 pm

    Right? Maybe Roosh has inferior genes. 🙂

    Kidding. On the other hand, after this experience I don’t think you’ll ever again take for granted the ability to drink U.S. water/eat at a restaurant and not have to worry about parasites and blowing out your colon.

  14. Mad1 September 24, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    Bobbie Rio are you serious – Meddellin, Colombia???

    I know Roosh wants to get to know the Meddellin Cartel personally. I would skip meddellin if I were you. Hope you stomach feels better bro.

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