Secular people think being under heavy demonic influence looks like something out of a Hollywood movie. You develop a guttural croak, stick out your tongue at inappropriate moments, and even develop a limp that signifies you are not well. Or you’ll do things that are obviously evil, such as punch little children in the face and torture backyard animals. The reality is far more subtle. Demons can be in total control over your life, directing your every move, and you will still be deceived that you’re a “good person” who is in charge. The word demon may not even enter your mind.
You’re under demonic influence if you commit evil deeds yet are unable to recognize them as evil. Usually it starts when you commit minor transgressions as an adolescent, often starting with masturbation. You choose to ignore your conscience telling you that masturbation is wrong because you want to feel good in the moment and follow your own will. Over time, your conscience atrophies as you continue to disobey it, allowing you to commit greater evils as an adult until your conscience becomes so damaged that you are easily able to convince yourself that the evil acts you commit are actually good or virtuous.
An example of a great evil I committed in the past was taking the virginity of a few women. In my defense, I did not have to trick them that I wanted a long-term relationship or marriage, and chances are they used me to begin a promiscuous lifestyle, but that is still no excuse. I was the vehicle that Satan used to remove their bodily purity, something they will never be able to give to another man.
Believe it or not, when I slept with a virgin, I thought I was doing her a favor. I was introducing them to a world of wonderful sensual pleasures, allowing them to get over the awkwardness of virgin sex so that after me they could sleep with any other man they wanted without hesitation. Not only that, but I eagerly bragged to my friends when I did sleep with a virgin, since I deemed it harder to do when compared to a woman who was already sexually active. Every virgin I slept with was a confirmation of how skilled and masculine I was, a testament to my supreme abilities that justified my growing worldwide fame.
How do you think I feel about my actions now?
When the initial thought came to my mind that I was doing the virgins a “favor,” it was in my own voice. It did not coincide with tongue-wagging or circling of my eyeballs. I was not in a state of wrath but calm. When subsequent thoughts came into my mind that I was a big man for doing what I did, I accepted it immediately, along with any other conclusion that boosted my own pride.
The biggest mistake that secular people make is believing that thoughts from their minds are theirs, and are therefore worth listening to or following, but if you are not in communion with God, much of your thoughts will be evil. The Orthodox Church teaches that demons have the ability to put thoughts into your mind, and when combined with other thoughts that derive from your own flesh, it shouldn’t be hard to see that most of your thoughts should be ignored. Most of your judgments are wrong. For some people, all are wrong. Thankfully, God and the angels can seed beneficial thoughts, and our conscience can never be completely annihilated, but don’t assume you’re totally in the clear where anything you think of must certainly come from a place of good.
In the past, I assumed that the demons would want me to suffer and experience pain. In the next life, yes, but in this life they give you all the pleasures and worldly rewards you can handle. If you want sex, Satan will do what he can to see that you get it, and if you can’t get the real thing he’ll make sure you’re addicted to the next best thing, pornography. Do you covet money? He’s wiring the funds right now, just as long as you devote every waking hour to making a buck. Do you want to feel like a somebody? He’ll make sure you invest hundreds of hours into a YouTube channel and get recognized on the street. All he asks in return is your soul.
Satan puts you at the center of your false universe, to worship any god but God, convincing you to follow your own “self-interest,” that you’re just an evolutionary animal and it’s okay to walk over or destroy those around you as long as you are growing and gaining and achieving the emotional happiness that you believe is the meaning to this life, and the big lie is that it’s not you that has come up with the master game plan. You’re the stooge, the useful idiot who is being controlled like a puppet on a stage that your pride blinds you from seeing.
Have you ever seen a man get hypnotized? Under hypnosis, he may do weird things such as bark like a dog or roll on the ground, and then when the hypnotist releases the spell, he’s amazed when the audience tells him he acted like a total animal. He can’t believe that his will was hijacked by an external force, but that’s exactly what happened. On stage, he may be embarrassed for an hour or two, but when you fall for the hypnotism that Satan performs, you don’t lose your dignity for a moment—you lose it forever.
God is in the process of releasing me from the spell of Satan, because I surely couldn’t do it on my power with a broken conscience and deformed will. I admit I did a lot of evil things while I was hypnotized. I acted worse than a dog, but now that I am able to re-orient my will with God’s, to use the teachings of His Christ and His Church as a measure of what is good, and to ignore all that contradicts it, I pray that He never allows me to be so heavily deceived again.
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