In the past, my advice to virgins was clear: do everything you can to lose your virginity. Improve your look, learn game, and start approaching numerous women so that you get lucky with one and stop being a dreaded virgin. I can no longer advise that. If you are a virgin in this current year, I advise you to stay that way until marriage.

Western culture has inverted the natural order. Sex has been elevated to a virtue and virginity demoted to a sin. If you don’t have a “sex life” then you’re missing out and must do everything within your power to remedy the problem. This is what I believed as I went through four painful years of high school and then four excruciating years of university as a virgin. Everyone was getting laid except for me, it seemed, and I was missing out on reams of pleasure and intimacy. I was in a state of extreme lust but could not get a single woman. I felt like a low-value man, a loser. Upon graduating from university, I implemented game teachings I had found online and lost my virginity within a year. Victory! I was no longer in a “sinful” state, and could “enjoy life” with the rest of my sexually active peers until, nearly twenty years later, I realized all that sex profited me not in the slightest.

Upon receiving the grace of God, I ceased all sexual activity. I don’t look at porn, or even sexy lingerie images. I don’t masturbate and definitely don’t fornicate. If sexual thoughts attack my mind, I pray to Jesus Christ to take them away, and He does. The closest I get to sex today is the occasional sex dream, but even in my dreams, I’ve developed willpower to usually say no to the flesh that is offered me. Aren’t I suffering like the days I was a virgin in school? Aren’t I in utmost pain from all my unmet sexual desires? The answer is no, because I’ve attacked the root cause of sexual pain: lust. Take away the lust, which is amplified in our pornographic culture, and you take away the ache and desire.

If you are a virgin in lust, and fail to gain physical pleasure, you will experience tremendous anguish. You will be angry at all the men who are getting laid, and you will also be angry at all the women for not choosing you for sex. You will masturbate to experience the pleasure of the orgasm, and then experience an immediate emotional hangover of having had to masturbate. This is an unbearable state that most men “solve” through prostitution, yet since a prostitute is not what any man truly wants, the pain and anguish intensify. Even for the sexually active man, the accomplished player, the pain of his lust is transmutated into other forms, such as the simultaneous addiction and hatred of “sluts.”

If the virgin doesn’t have God in his life, he will be in a heightened state of lust just like the fornicator, and suffer ill side effects from his pornography and masturbation habit, though he may sustain less damage to his soul since he is not corrupting women through the sex act. If he does have God in his life, he may feel lonely at times or curious about what sex is like, but these problems can easily be handled with just a mustard seed of faith. He will proceed in treating his body like the Holy Temple it was created for, further strengthening his walk with Christ.

The problem is therefore not virginity—the problem is faith. If you don’t have God in your life, and believe in the lies of the secular world that you need sex to be happy, the only solution is a worldly one. You will eventually get your sex but then new sufferings will begin. If you have faith, there is no problem. You are in a pure state, as God intended, and can give the gift of your virginity to an honorable Christian woman, of which I admit there are few, but this is not for you to worry about, because we do not accept sin into our lives just because the rest of the world is faithless. I can tell you that if I were a virgin, and maintained that virginity to honor God, I would be hesitant to marry a woman who is also not a virgin, but since I have sinned against God and violated my body innumerable times, I have little basis to seek a virgin, and instead seek a repentant woman whose previous sins I must forgive in the same way she forgives mine.

I truly wish I were a virgin. I wish I didn’t learn game and become good at it. I wish I didn’t sleep with all those women, and I’ve prayed to God to not only forgive me for those encounters but to help me forget them. The intimacy I’ve had in the past does not at all serve me in the present. It doesn’t make me feel happier or more masculine. Instead, I feel regret and shame. I can’t stress how the sex I had in my life was in no way an addition. Instead, it was a subtraction, one that occupied most of my free time and intellect while taking my eyes off God.

If you are a virgin, rejoice, for you are closer to God than you realize. Seek Him out to help you with matters of lust, and be assured that your position in the Kingdom of Heaven will be elevated far higher than all the lost souls who think they will somehow be saved by allowing sex to dominate their lives.

Read Next: 5 Layers Of Sexual Temptation


  1. The Muslim Theist July 23, 2020 at 5:02 pm

    One thing thats missing here is the importance of marrying young. Lust is hard to fight at that age and needs an outlet.

    1. Roosh July 24, 2020 at 12:27 am

      Good point. Most people are not meant to remain unmarried up to middle age.

    2. Mel July 29, 2020 at 3:09 am

      I’m not so sure about that. Many people who marry young end up divorcing soon after.

      1. WeHaveLostTraditionalWisdom August 7, 2020 at 7:43 pm

        Early marriage, late teens *IS* the right thing in accordance with biology *AND* approved by God. Sex, male’s release, female’s assimilation of it, the resulting bonding, love, and baby if conception takes place, are all supposed to happen in a good way and that is within the holiness of marriage.

  2. Gerry July 23, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Hi, I have seen your interviews with Jesse Lee Peterson. I notice there is one part where you say something about forgiving her and then expecting her to forgive you also. I think a Christian woman is supposed to be forigiving sure, in essence, but I don’t know how in a relationship it would be good to bring your baggage to the woman as in expecting her to handle it for you. I mean, a Christian understands and forgives, but I don’t know how wise it would be to tell the woman about your past, cause you are supposed to have overcome it already, a man lives his life overcoming by himself or with the help of other men, but by himself ultimately, that’s how he moves forward, she can’t overcome for you, in fact she needs you to help her overcome by first and foremost do you. I sustain that the man should be looked up by the woman, so I think men can only ask forgiveness to God, not to her; I don’t think women can handle with men problems, so I think briging the past would be unwise, it would bring unnecessary hell, suffering, that the man is suppposed to overcome in the first place with strength. That is why you must be born again, Jesse would say. It is second nature, once you are born again, try his silent prayer.

  3. Gerry July 23, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    I mean if you tell the woman some fact about your past fine, but you don’t bring it with shame expecting her to forgive you, that would be to place her as god, and that’s not the point. The order of God is, God over Christ, Christ over man, man over woman, woman over child. So ultimately it is with God, and God loves you, and I noticed like you are tormented by your past and the misdeeds, the evil in those actions, I can see why it is stressful, but don’t hate yourself for it, just as everyone else before they realize about Christ, we are savages, we do stupid stuff, not knowing how bad that is, it is part of our fallen state. Forgive your parents. If you already did. Chill out and don’t hate yourself, ask God for forgiveness, why stress? It is now on his hands, make sure just to stay in prayer and relax, ask God for faith and stay out of your thoughts, out of your imagination. All those thoughts about the condition of your soul and the eternal damnation, it is the devil that wants you scared, come back to the present and take it easy. Ask God for gidance, and in the present it will all be revealed to you.

  4. Chris July 31, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Burn in Hell you piece of shit.

    1. Stephen August 3, 2020 at 6:08 pm

      Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.
      1 John 3:13

      In my Father”™s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
      And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
      And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
      John 14:2-4

    2. Çatal Höyük September 12, 2020 at 4:09 am

      You don’t believe in hell so that doesn’t mean anything.

  5. edu August 10, 2020 at 1:07 pm

    wow such a transformation Roosh,i wish you well

  6. The only sane person here September 3, 2020 at 11:43 pm

    I don’t think any woman in her right mind would want to have sex with you.

  7. Çatal Höyük September 12, 2020 at 3:50 am

    Yep. But only if you remain a virgin and get married young.