Important Life Tips

The caffeine content in Red Bull is much lower you think. Drinking a cup of coffee will give you more caffeine than a can of Red Bull. If you want a real boost in energy, stop drinking caffeine altogether.

Shaving cream is not necessary for razor shaving. Simply lather up a bar of soap and apply to your face. Then shave. A sharp razor is more important to a good shave than shaving cream.

If you want to increase your chances of getting laid in Rio de Janeiro, do not go during Carnival.

Your body produces weirder smells during travel. If your underarms are foul, trim the hair and dab rubbing alcohol daily before deodorant application. If your shoes and feet smell, apply rubbing alcohol to your feet after showering followed with a talc powder application. semi-liquid-heart-attack.jpgAlso put talc powder in your shoes daily. Takes about three or four days to notice results in either case.

Wear ear plugs if you get up often during the night. It takes about a week to get used to them, but vastly improves the quality of your sleep… until the wax buildup in your ear becomes gross and unbearable.

Stomach illnesses or questionable food can give you messy solids. Wiping can make the situation worse and take more time than the actual dump. Use the dab / blot technique instead, like you were getting red wine out of a white carpet.

Your hair is oily because you wash it too much. Wash your hair only once a week and after a month you will notice your hair puts out considerably less oil and has more natural shine. This is because taking the oil out every day with shampoo tells your scalp to keep producing more oil. (Unfortunately during summer months you have to double washings to twice a week.)

If your taint is sore after bike riding, you’re doing the type of damage that leads to impotence. You must get a better bike seat.

Don’t use SmartCards for the Metro bus because it limits your transfer time to only two hours. Paper transfers give you longer transfer times through driver laziness and allow you to cheat the system in other ways much more easily.

If you want to travel more but keep wussing out, buy a cheap world map and put it on your bedroom wall. You’ll have your first ticket booked within a couple months.

Latex condoms tend to dry out a girl after prolonged lovemaking. Don’t be shy to spit on her vagina to keep things lubricated. She won’t mind.


  1. Bobby Rio June 12, 2008 at 9:34 am

    on the caffiene thing.. i gave up coffee about six months ago cuz it fucked my stomach up.. I’m more awake now in the morning than I was when i used to guzzle 24 ounces upon waking.

    and yes… it is a lot easier to get laid in Rio during any time but Carnival.

    Bobby Rio’s last blog post: Developing Your Inner Game (day 2).

  2. KassyK June 12, 2008 at 9:49 am

    Roosh–That hairwashing tool only works on people with thicker hair or wavy/curly hair like us…people with thin or very fine hair should be washing more often (ESP women) or it leads to disgusting stringy and greasy hair…EVERY TIME.

    And while kink is fun…the spit from mouth to vagina is not sexy or kinky or hot at all.

    Word to the guys:

    Most girls would prefer the hand lick and then vagina touch.

    Its just hotter.

  3. Lemmonex June 12, 2008 at 10:00 am

    Kass, speak for yourself. I love it when a guy hocks a huge loogie in my gine…Hottness!

    Lemmonex’s last blog post: Not So Sweet.

  4. Jay Gatsby June 12, 2008 at 10:04 am

    Okay, the picture next to the description of a bad dump/wipe experience almost made me lose my breakfast. What IS that?

  5. Sunglass Republic June 12, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Hmmm yeah Red Bull never did anything for me, espresso double-shot all the way baby! Plus i prefer shaving gel to cream, I like to see exactly what I’m doing when I’m holding a straight edge razor to my face.

    Sunglass Republic’s last blog post: Louis Vuitton Millionaire Sunglasses.

  6. T. June 12, 2008 at 10:22 am

    Now what if you’re hair is dry all the time? Does that mean you need to do the opposite and wash it more to stimulate oil production? Or are the rules different for black (the race, not the hair color) hair?

    T.’s last blog post: Obama, Hillary and McCain: The Fallout.

  7. Joe T. June 12, 2008 at 10:30 am

    Good tips, Roosh.

    Instead of methyl alcohol, I use hdrogen peroxide on my sweaty feet after a long walk or run. – think the oxidizing effect kills bacteria and neutralizes the odor even better than alcohol. But I do dump the Gold Bond powder into my shoes and socks when necessary.

    I take Immodium tablets on trips, especially to strange countries. The stuff is the most effective anti-diarrheal on the market, and there’s no excuse not to pack it, now that it’s OTC. Even if it doesn’t kill the evil GI bugs, it kills their worst symptom.

    Joe T.’s last blog post: Double-Check that Bag, Pre-Customs.

  8. DF June 12, 2008 at 11:22 am

    This might be the first time someone has offered advice on how I should wipe my ass since my parents pottied trained me. Although there was that incident with the nurse at the sperm bank a few years back but that’s all I’m going to say about that.

  9. Roosh June 12, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    @Jay Gatsby: it’s a chocolate fudge crepe with vanilla ice cream. It was delicious! I failed with picture placement

  10. namaste June 12, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    very useful.

    concerning the matter of solids: it’s useful to have a babywipes at the ready, too. the moisture of the wipes reduces the friction of wiping, prevents drying of an already tender area, and can prevent over consumption of toilet paper (if toilet paper is even available.)

    you are very wise…

    namaste’s last blog post: In the Meantime….

  11. Gunslingergregi June 12, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    Also works good to have her provide the fluid from her lips to your finger then apply. Especially when she gets hot and her saliva glands kick into overdrive. kind of kinky that way.

  12. Jack Goes Forth June 12, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    I need to kick the caffeine, unfortunately I spend 50 percent of my days in coffee shops.

    The 4 shot Americano has probably taken a few months off of my life.

    Jack Goes Forth’s last blog post: I’m Going Out.

  13. Crotchsniffa June 12, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Yes coffee/soda/sports drinks are the worst drinks humans can buy. They spike your blood sugar and make you crash. Your best bet is to take a cold shower in the morning or exercise in the morning.

    I can’t spit on my girls happyiness. Its just oh so pretty looking when dry..

  14. Lisa June 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Cheap hair conditioner is good to shave with.

  15. Jewcano June 12, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    Roosh, every good Southerner has known the secret of Gold Bond since youth. Also, BC headache powder for hangovers.

    Jewcano’s last blog post: You Are What You Do When It Counts.

  16. Spud Mack June 13, 2008 at 1:02 am

    Yes but what about the issues with illegal immigration? Surely we are going to end up back on that topic somehow again.

  17. longtime reader June 13, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    no offence man, but how old are you? you shouldn’t be worrying about how to cheat the public transportation system….. most of us cared about that when we were 15 or 16, not late 20’s.

  18. Peter June 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    If it’s really messy you’re better off avoiding the toilet paper and just jumping into the shower. Of course that won’t work if you’re in a public donicker.