The caffeine content in Red Bull is much lower you think. Drinking a cup of coffee will give you more caffeine than a can of Red Bull. If you want a real boost in energy, stop drinking caffeine altogether.
Shaving cream is not necessary for razor shaving. Simply lather up a bar of soap and apply to your face. Then shave. A sharp razor is more important to a good shave than shaving cream.
If you want to increase your chances of getting laid in Rio de Janeiro, do not go during Carnival.
Your body produces weirder smells during travel. If your underarms are foul, trim the hair and dab rubbing alcohol daily before deodorant application. If your shoes and feet smell, apply rubbing alcohol to your feet after showering followed with a talc powder application. Also put talc powder in your shoes daily. Takes about three or four days to notice results in either case.
Wear ear plugs if you get up often during the night. It takes about a week to get used to them, but vastly improves the quality of your sleep… until the wax buildup in your ear becomes gross and unbearable.
Stomach illnesses or questionable food can give you messy solids. Wiping can make the situation worse and take more time than the actual dump. Use the dab / blot technique instead, like you were getting red wine out of a white carpet.
Your hair is oily because you wash it too much. Wash your hair only once a week and after a month you will notice your hair puts out considerably less oil and has more natural shine. This is because taking the oil out every day with shampoo tells your scalp to keep producing more oil. (Unfortunately during summer months you have to double washings to twice a week.)
If your taint is sore after bike riding, you’re doing the type of damage that leads to impotence. You must get a better bike seat.
Don’t use SmartCards for the Metro bus because it limits your transfer time to only two hours. Paper transfers give you longer transfer times through driver laziness and allow you to cheat the system in other ways much more easily.
If you want to travel more but keep wussing out, buy a cheap world map and put it on your bedroom wall. You’ll have your first ticket booked within a couple months.
Latex condoms tend to dry out a girl after prolonged lovemaking. Don’t be shy to spit on her vagina to keep things lubricated. She won’t mind.