Is Porn Messing Up Your Game?

New York Magazine published an article a while ago called He’s Just Not That Into Anyone, about man’s increasingly intimate relationship with online porn and how it’s affecting their relationships with women.

As a result of the blending of reality and fantasy, some women have chosen to willingly play along by a new set of rules in order to keep their men interested: they’re intentionally impersonating porn stars. Sadie, the real-estate agent, says, “A lot of guys have come to expect P.S.E. [the “Porn-Star Experience”] as a common thing—snatches waxed bald, access to every hole—and plenty of women are more than happy to provide. A few might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing. I think there’s a fear that if they can’t make it happen, their boyfriend will retreat online.

Finally, something that gives American men a bit of leverage! So of course it’s no surprise that feminists regularly criticize porn as a dehumanizing horror that acts as a gateway to sexual violence. As I’ve written before, anything that reduces female power and gives it to men will be reflexively attacked.

I have mixed feelings about American women imitating porn stars. On one hand they are eager to do nasty things that I would have had to beg for in the past, but on the other hand sex has a disconnected and even circus-like feel to it, as if a bear on a unicycle will roll by as she’s deep-throating my cock with tears welling up in her eyes. I’m not saying I need an emotional connection while I fuck a girl, but porn star sex does reduce the intimacy level of the act and make it more surreal.

25% percent of college-age men said they’d faked orgasms.

If there’s one bit of advice I can give men, it’s never to fake your orgasm. Not being able to orgasm is one of the best ways to make a girl feel anxious and insecure. When I’m unable to come, which often happens with condoms (raw dog for life), I simply stop sex and say, “I’m not going to make it.” I can almost see her hamster spinning…

  • Is he not attracted to me anymore?
  • Is there something wrong with my vagina?
  • Should I give him a blowjob even though I don’t want to?

It also shapes the power structure of the relationship. She knows that a man who doesn’t orgasm is more likely to stray to get that orgasm. As a result, she tests you less and does more things to win your favor. I don’t advocate withholding your orgasms on purpose, but don’t be afraid to stop the sex act if you don’t see your nut on the horizon.

The article also brings up the age-old question about masturbation frequency. I used to think that it mattered little, but I’m now firmly in the camp that too much masturbation will hurt your success rate. It’s a simple matter of needing to be genuinely horny in order to put in the necessary amount of work to lay pipe inside a new vagina.

Personally, I need 2-3 days of no masturbation to get into a horny state. Since most of my bangs happen starting on Thursday, that means I do not jerk off after Monday.

In Poland, there was a good chance I’d get laid on Wednesday because of a club that had ladies night, so the only time I would ever jerk off there was on Sunday nights. Mainstream advice to “let a load off” before going on dates or hitting on girls is great—if you don’t want to get laid.

I have a friend who can jerk off six times in a day yet still be amped enough to hit on girls, but he’s an outlier. For the average guy, placing distance between himself and unlimited free delicious porn will lead to the optimal hormonal state needed to get laid. As accessible as porn is today, you should be actively resisting its siren call. Sexual capital in the form of heavy balls is needed to maximize your game efforts.

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Tampa
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Totally agree about the jerking it too much. I notice my desire to even go out pluments after I jerk. It’s like hand feeding a hungry bear….he won’t have any reason to go out and hunt.

bodmon
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i have tried the whole no fap thing but i find that i get sharp pains in my groin around the 5 day mark. also, since i currently have subpar game in a tough city (toronto), for the most part it’s fapping or nothing, so i’m just like fuck it, i’m gonna be doing this drunkenly at 4am after i’ve come home empty-handed anyway, and so i fap. perhaps that is a self-fulfilling prophecy

funny thing though is that one night i thought this way and fapped twice before going out but then ended up getting my first and so far only toronto-based one night stand :]

Jim
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No, porn is messing up women’s game. That is seen merely in the way women are dressing and how easy they are sexing.

Mojo
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“… I think there’s a fear that if they can’t make it happen, their boyfriend will retreat online.”

LOL! How do you like them apples?

Ian Ironwood
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Excellent post, Roosh. Porn is indeed having this very interesting effect on American mating culture. Dudes are realizing that they don’t need a girlfriend to get their groove on, and women are realizing that dudes don’t need a girlfriend to get their groove on. The double whammy has been fascinating to watch. I, too, applaud raised sexual expectations for American women, and its about time that they were honest about how important it is to us. But I also think that a dude is better off whacking alone on a regular basis if the alternatives are a Blue Pill hell of remorse and regret . . . and married-guy masturbation.

But I also agree that when you’re on the prowl keeping your Yang up is vital. If you want to bang, you have to want it, and knocking out that first one loses you the initiative. If you’re worried about cumming too fast . . . that’s why Aphrodite invented blowjobs, Gentlemen. You can take her to Pound Town on the second lap, when you’re good and restored. And if she won’t blow, then that’s a strong indicator, right there.

Anonymous
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Damn Roosh! Do you get yourself tested when you’re travelling?

Odds
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my advice for young men is to not watch porn at all: it screws up your mind and lessens your libido.

Donlak
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And the writer of the article is spinning her hamster, it’s not ‘some’ girls like it, most girls like it. There was once a time that most of the girls I banged never watched porn and were turned off by it, at least displaying it openly, now they all love it, and love being banged like a porn star.

What feminists refuse to beleive is that the ladies out there are dirty little sluts, and they can’t fight this. Muhahahahaha.

Fred Flange
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What haunts me about the New York article is the photos of the dead faces of the guys in mid-fap. That made me snap to. Not sure I like that look.

The lesson is: Keep stompin’ on the betas, ladies, make them LEAVE YOU ALONE, and that will be the face of western manhood everywhere. But you don’t need men anyway, so leave us to our screens while you go run the world according to the Gaia principles. Tell us how that works out. We won’t be listening, though, we’ll be too busy fapping.

x2d4d
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I think the biggest danger about porn for men is the way it can indirectly harm your SMV, especially if you don’t actually need it to rub one out. It’s not that watching a lot of porn leads to comparing “regular” girls to porn stars, it’s that it’s a timesink with no lasting benefits.

The effect of porn on the impressionable woman… heh the jury is out on that one, clearly.

Cookie
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I 100 percent agree that not cumming from sex is a huge DHV.
Bonus points for guys who bang out of social circles, or at parties: Play “never have I ever” and causally drop “never have I ever faked an orgasm.” Girls will be all over you in record time.

Razzy
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Roosh, check out yourbrainonporn.com

Its got some great studies into the psycho / biological affects porn has on men. Pretty interesting stuff more or less in line with your thinking.

hiphopanonamous
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I stopped watching porn videos online a month ago after years of watching them and the difference in me between then and now is like night and day.

The problem, for me at least, was not the masturbating as much as it was masturbating to lots of porn videos.

I’m not an advocate for yourbrainonporn.com because I think there’s some white knight “men are bad” bullshit if you read between the lines, BUT I think their take on porn videos and how they affect the reward centers of your brain is spot on. In the history of mankind we’ve never been exposed to the stimulii that’s available in 15 minutes of clicking through pornhub.

I’m not gonna make a moral judgment on porn in general because I think people should do what they want. However to anyone who thinks in the back of your mind that your game could be better, I would recommend laying off (heh) the porn videos and see if your state changes. It sure helped me come alive lol

Tyler
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raw dog for life

Rash
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I am ofcourse a lot hornier when I don’t jerk it, but I also have a hard time being laid back, so I chase the womens away. What do I do?

delicioustacos
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Wait a minute- really? You guys don’t want to get laid after beating off?

Beating off buys me five minutes of not thinking about sex. I am thirty six years old. I smoke; I drink heavily; I use hard drugs. I am an omega monkey at a desk job where a sniveling demon degrades and unmans me for eleven hours per day. I don’t have exaggerated secondary sex characteristics that make me think I have some crazy amount of testosterone. But I can beat off four times on a Saturday to some filthy porn and then go to a party TRYING not to think about pussy and the instant I walk in the door it’s can I get laid will I get laid where is the pussy oh look that girl’s hot better go talk to her. Or if there are no girls there, even if it’s a fun party with good friends, it’s fuck this no pussy here I better go.

And the one time I tried the no fap thing I made it three days before I got an annoying text and smashed my phone into a wall. After a week of that I would have been mass murdering like the privileged white male I am.

Beating off before going out takes off just a hairsbreadth of urgency and desperation from the desire to get laid. It turns it down from an eleven to an eight maybe. If I didn’t choke the chicken every day, my notch count would be in the thousands but it would all be fat chicks whom I fucked like a Macaque and prematurely nutted in.

I can’t be alone here. I don’t think I or the friend you mention are really “outliers.” Or are we? Am I a freak like Michael Fassbender in SHAME, except cruelly unblessed with good looks and a girthy wang? Should I be twelve stepping it at Sex Addicts Anonymous?

Maybe so. I bet there’s a ton of pussy there.

Frank
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Mr. Delicious Tacos,
We all can’t be “billy bad ass” like you and jack one out and want to get laid 5 minutes later no matter what. If I was to bet you’re mid 20’s so your attitude will change shortly or you’ll just be a single swinging dick your whole life. To answer your question about being a freak or “outlier” who knows? You have some things to figure out my friend…….

Aleph
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Eliminating porn and masturbation from my daily ritual is one of the things that stuck with me from Mark Manson’s book, Models. You’re more social and motivated when you’re abstaining from it all.

Sleeper
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You people who are applying this fap/no fap shit across the board like everybody is the same… STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW!!

Different strokes for different folks. PUN INTENDED.

Steven
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Steven
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True Story:

Because of Porn and Masturbation, i screwed up 2 lays with a beautiful Polish and a Czech.
I ended up getting a blood test to test my Testosterone levels and everything was normal.

After doing my research, i discovered that theres a growing phenomenon of guys losing sexual excitement from normal sex due to increased Porn and masturbation.

Porn desensitizes the brain’s pleasure signals, which is why after a certain amount of it, we want to see more harder and harder stuff in order to pleasure.

The brain is a very smart organism, because after a while it starts to associate arousal with Porn. The only way to resolve it and go back to normal is to stop watching Porn and quit Masturbating.

I did this and within a few months, my Erectile dysfunction went back to normal and was able to have better sex.

Porn is a drug which if not handled properly, can destroy your sex life…

Matt H.
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@19 You’re absolutely right. Porn destroys ones perception of regular sex and makes it seem boring.

Like using excessive salt in your food. Once you get used to it, regular food will seem bland to your taste buds.

Brandon
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Yea, guys. And don’t wake and bake, jack off and expect to do any type of day gaming. I’m usually too anti-social to speak to a clerk after that.

trackback

[…] Roosh has an article today about the effects of porn and whacking off on game.  He posits that guys like me who can beat off like a chimp and still go out after girls are rare: […]

FFY
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@sleeper

You’re an outlier, good for you. Carry on, this post is obviously not meant for you.

For the vast majority of men, no fapping or at least cutting down on fapping is sound advice.

The Glee Manifesto
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You really made rvforum member “donald duck’s” day today

Erik
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I agree on the 2-3 day rule. It’s more like three for me to get into the state of wanting to slam the hog women in Iowa.

Porn is bad for making me want to get laid. But i don’t mind it. I have seen wayyyy to many horror stories that keep me from sticking my dick in the crazy.

I should be at six figures in 4 years and I’m not gonna risk that.

Anonymous
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what works great for me is, jacking off but stopping short of busting a nut. it amps me up and switches me into predator mode.

madmax
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all these stupid feminist bitches….do they realize that girls do all kind of shit in porn, it’s not like 20 years ago where you would see a sexy woman giving a blowjob and getting fucked. Now you see 18 yo drinking cum off a mug, and they SEEM VERY HAPPY.

Yes I agree about masturbation: it is better to be TOO horny, than not to be horny. You can choose to be horny and not let her see it on first approach, but if you are interacting with a woman with an empty pair of balls, there’s just no sexual energy. Viva Roosh

Mike
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The only thing cutting out porn did for me was lower my standards. Ended up taking home women I would not have normally LOL

Apocalypseman
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Been wondering when a post like this would come as there is a lot of science behind what too much porn can do to your brain gaining traction.

I agree. Do not ever apologize for not being able to finish or fake an orgasm. It will result in exactly what you fear. But if you face your fear and see what happens, you will be amazed.

Too much porn is a bad thing for the average man that wants to get laid. I’ve firmly behind this after what I’ve read. Some men may have to stop altogether. Sounds ridiculous but it’s true.

Donkey
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Does this mean I should cancel my brazzers membership haha? Mystery says not to masterbate before going out to game, so does Gunwitch.

Iviko
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I’m addicted to porn and I don’t find “real” (in the flesh) women attractive. They’re too “human”. The fact that I have to work to get them into bed gets into my nerves. I’m misogynistic to the very extreme.

I guess this is because my addiction began when I was about 15-16, so I never even went through the whole dating-courtship experience and all that. I never had the opportunity to see women as nothing more than perambulating chunks of flesh.

I fucked a couple of Russian escorts (both 8-9) and I couldn’t orgasm unless I visualized a porn scene in my mind. At that point I realized I was fucked.

So yes, I suppose that porn does a number on your mind.

Thomas
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It’s these kinds of posts that assure me that game is synonymous with a hyper evolved man, where men are de-evolving in the 21st century from digital distractions. But men who game and are cautious of their digital diet (porn/virtual reality) are becoming a hybrid breed, sort of like universal soldier or ethan hawke in ‘gatacca’.

David H. Fucktrelle-Male Feminist Extraordinaire™
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“Personally, I need 2-3 days of no masturbation to get into a horny state”

oh, rooshiepooops, you could use boner pills….

you must be getting old or have low testosterone levels….

maybe some wait training and eating less soy beans….

David H. Fucktrelle-Male Feminist Extraordinaire™
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personally, I have to rub one out so I don’t pop in 33.2 seconds….

I think you just have a way low sex drive and just write stories to impress other guys….

Anonymous
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girls who are in porn are the lowest form of humanity. all fucked up head cases with probably every personality disorder you can think of

Rick
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When i was in peru i banged 21 chicks in 30 days, sometimes 2 chicks in a day. And i would still go for a fapp on the mobile porn in the hostel toilet in the mornings.

I would more often then not bust at least twice in the chick if wearing condom, if not then 6 or 7 times.

If you dont feel the need to blow your load at least once a day then youd probably have been better off in life having been born as a girl.

All this shit about porn desentizizng you to the real thing is bullshit. The real things awsome regardless. And if you cant get hard for a chick after porn get your balls checked out.

Innes
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How did you pull that off in Peru?

Soup
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In my experience, the best sex has been when we’ve done “pornstar” sex. An example of this would be making her get on her knees and having her spread her legs while during blow-jobs.

Almost all the girls I’ve fucked have responded more favorably to a Rocco Sifredi styled bang where I’ve thrown myself into it and made them my my little sex slaves. Rocco gives them what they want- domination. The eat it up.

I feel that this can actually be a deeper kind of connection. It’s kind of like guys who use game have a deeper empathic relationship with women because they are demonstrating that they know what a woman really wants, vs. guys who, for example, treat women as guys with tits without respecting our fundamental differences (or guys who needlessly pedastalize girls).

Also, maybe I’m an outlier, but I haven’t noticed any correlation between fapping and game. Actually, I’ve noticed that if I don’t fap or am not getting laid, I feel like I’m losing touch with my sexual energy. To me, fapping can be a way of getting activating the libido.

Aside from motivation to game, which I believe is about sheer will power, I do wonder if girls, being as sensitive as they are to body language, subconscious cues, and pheremones, notice any difference in a guy who is masturbating vs not.
It would be interesting to see a scientific study on this.

Unlike drinking too much, which has a much more obvious influence on most guys’ game, the effects of fapping on game will remain in the realm of players’ superstition until there is some kind of double blind test that demonstrates a connection.

Anonymous
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@Rick Your balls have nothing to do with it; I’m usually floating around the top 10-15% of my age group (18-25) in total and free serum testosterone and yet I’ve still lost 7 bangs in the past year because of porn-induced ED and general anhedonia related to “real” girls. The girls were all ones I found attractive and I was sober in every encounter so nothing else interfered. I thought it was related to testosterone levels at first too but diagnostics showed my balls work just fine; that brain on porn site convinced me that it was my brain’s reward pathway function that was screwing the pooch.

But yeah Roosh, spot on. I’m three months into a moratorium on porn/masturbation and my interest in girls has come roaring back and my ED is gone. If anyone reading this has similar problems, stop choking the chicken and watching porn immediately, particularly if you’re a young guy. It takes several months of self-discipline (I still get strong urges to visit porn sites if I hit certain keys in order while typing or I’m bored) to change the wiring in your neural pathways but it’s very worth it.

Buitre
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@36 “When i was in peru i banged 21 chicks in 30 days”

Really?, if this is true and they were non-pros and decent looking girls you must be getting close of having the ability or Rasputin!! lol … However, Peru is not hard but is not the easiest either.

Rael
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” Not being able to orgasm is one of the best ways to make a girl feel anxious and insecure.”

Some of us prefer our women secure.
Insecure women are annoying to be around
and far less likely to agree to that FFM 3-way …

Anonymous
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I agree with 25. If self-pleasure can help you to minimize the time and energy wasted on sex and the big dumb animal that is the human female, go for it. There are better ways to spend your time. I try to force myself to fap 1x per day just to make sure everything keeps working, but I try to make sure I have better things to do then work myself up into a super horny state so I will spend more time chasing chicks.

Anonymous
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I agree with this post, in so far that I am less likely to get out and daygame or even call a Fuckbuddy, even if she calls me I would lack enthousiasm. Unless I feel more horny than usual.

One good thing of sleeping in DORMS when traveling is that your daygame keeps sharp!

solo
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Refraining from coming has become a powerful part of my game arsenal.

msc
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Big believer in the whole no-porn/no-fap thing. It definitely helped clear my head and fix my libido. I think guys vary dramatically in sensitivity to the stimulus, so you get most guys saying “What’s the big deal?”, like how a normal drinker can’t identify with an alcoholic. Well, I’m very sensitive. A single wank and I’m off in the head for a week or two, including anxiety issues.

I don’t think it’s just porn, either, with the whole dopamine stimulus reward overload thing. I personally found I cannot have internet access at home. I looked at how I was wasting time online (not even porn) and it was clearly an out of hand compulsion that was screwing up my head. Got rid of the internet connection and five weeks later my mind was much clearer.

I think some fraction of people are not wired in the head properly to handle the digital stimulus overload and porn era. It’s like native americans and alcohol.

Rick
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I did bang 21 girls, its pointless for me to debate that fact, you can either believe me or not.

I didnt pay for it once however i do believe some of the girls may have whored on the side at some point because i know for a fact some of there friends did it.

As for quality id say the majority were 7s, however id say at least 4 were 8s. I also fucked one chick that was a 5 and i truly regretted that.

As for the style of game, first things first, i did a shit load of research on where in the world my looks would give me the highest sexual market value, south east asia and peru were ranked top, and peru won due to the fact i fucking love latinas. I have very blue eyes, that sometimes even get comments in my home country, am blond and am 20.

I visited Lima, hauchina(ica, arequipa and cusco.

I did my research on these places beforehand in depth using the forum and various resources.

The style of game i was using was basically the ideas they have been spouting out at rsd nation.

Basically the idea of going out everynight and using micro and macro momentum over the course of my trip.

@38 dude you should be fucking worried

[Roosh: Picture of a Peruvian 7?]

Timoteo
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I’ve never felt that women come up short compared to chicks in porn. I have no interest in doing some of the freakier shit they do. I prefer foreign films with explicit sex – that’s real. The what they do in porn films is cartoonish. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve seen my share of porn, but I’ve never felt that it was warping my sense of what I should expect from chicks I was banging. I’m definitely an advocate of saving up your nuts. I don’t feel jerking off hurts my willingness to get pussy, but I just like the feeling of busting a full nut while I’m in a chick, and not wasting it on a tissue or something.

Rick
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I think the main problem with this whole idea is that for some guys, they think by not jacking off its going to be like some magical pill and things are going to be so much easier.

Wow my testestrone must be soaring now, iam a beast. No your not.

If your struggling to get boners while fucking chicks your attracted to you have got anything but high testosterone. Tell yourself its porns fault, when its really your fault. For having such a weak dick.

Your just more likely to bust a nut very quickly into a pig.

Apocalypseman
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Number 44 – you are spot on. It depends on the person. Depending what effect porn has on you, act accordingly.

Coming on here and bashing guys by saying “you should be worried”, etc because you don’t have problems with porn is juvenile.

Rick
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@48 your probably right, and its not that i dont have problems with porn, iam a full blown addict.

I just have had to learn to manage it, and i force myself to not go onto porn before 10 pm at night. Which kind of works out well when it comes to pick up.

Hey if there are guys out there that struggle to get it up during the real thing and they believe its because of porn then i guess they could be right.

Iv struggled with getting hard if i have been heavly drinking but i always managed.

Personally i find that mindlessly bashing it for some chick trying to get hard for her will fail you.

I think the trick is not to try.

What you need is to stop seeing it like a mechanical operation and more like the erotic act it is.

As for what roosh’s post was about was getting into that horny state.

My first eurotrip it was 3 weeks long, i wasnt jacking off nearly as much as usual and although i got laid the 2nd night of my trip in paris, nothing again until poland, although when i was in poland it started off a run where i got 3 chicks in the next week.

But my experience in Peru just shat all over that idea.

Rick
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Roosh i just noticed your comment. Are you asking for pictures of some of the grils i fucked or are you trying to say that there are no peruvian 7s.

This is a fair enough comment for basically the majority of chicks if not all chicks from an indigenous backround.

But you have been to Lima and iam assuming you came across your fair share of mixed girls, so i dont see why youd be asking that. Saying that i am heavily biased towards Latinas. And iam from scotland in an area generally deprived of females with real tans.

Someone who is neutral on the topic for preferance of race can probably just go ahead and deduct a point from my ratings.

[Roosh: Calm down… I just wanted you to share a picture of a Peruvian 7. Doesn’t have to be a girl you fucked.]