It’s The Patriarchy’s Fault

I was late today to work because I accidentally switched the AM/PM setting on my alarm. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! They construct technology solely for men, not understanding that my needs as a woman are different.

At a work meeting my manager criticized an idea I had for one of our ad campaigns. I excused myself to the bathroom where I cried for twenty minutes. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! They simply are unable to peel away their inherent bias to see the value of a woman’s idea compared to that of a privileged man’s.

At my co-ed kickball game today we lost by a large margin to a team that had one man who was very athletic. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! Men should not be able to perform with 100% effort on the field because, even though men and women are the same, men are just a little bit faster in sports. This creates unnatural distortions during games when we’re just supposed to be socializing and having fun. Men should be required to wear 20 pound leg weights so we have more equality during competition.

At the happy hour after the game, a creepy guy asked me for my phone number and it made me feel weird. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! Men should know better than to offend the cultured sensibilities of a woman by thinking they can get sex from just anyone. I will be writing a letter to the kickball league so that I don’t have to bear to see him anymore.

On my drive home there was an accident on the road that caused a massive backup in traffic. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! The accident was obviously caused by a man whose testosterone was raging too high. Men with high testosterone should drink more soy milk.

At dinner I lost all self-control and ate an entire box of cupcakes that I was saving for a dinner party. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! Subsidies to male sugar farmers causes an overproduction of delicious sweets. I should not have been able to buy so many cupcakes at an affordable price. The government should step in and do something about it.

I logged onto OK Cupid today and I got messages from all these losers making comments about some minor cleavage I displayed in one of my pictures. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! Men treat women like objects instead of intellectual creatures. They are so blind to the personalities of women that it’s no surprise that anti-social autistic diseases afflict mostly men.

I called my dad and asked him for some career advice. He told me that I have to think about my ideas more carefully. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! I shouldn’t have to work harder than men for equal work but less pay. I’m so sad that my dad is trying to manipulate me to serve men better, but thankfully Obama is on the case to solve this horrible problem.

I looked in the mirror and absolutely hated what I saw. Even though I’m only 30 pounds overweight, I shouldn’t loathe my own body for any reason. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! They are pushing unrealistic standards on women that are utterly impossible to maintain in the busy and independent lifestyle that women have today.

I watched a reality television episode where one of the female characters was actually pushed by a man after she slapped him for being an insensitive jerk. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! Men should never hit women for any reason. Shame on men everywhere for not speaking up against male-on-female violence.

I read an article in Cosmo magazine that tried to teach me 100 ways to please a man. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! This male-owned magazine is just perpetuating negative stereotypes where women are metaphorically enslaved by horny men who just want to get their rocks off. I did enjoy the celebrity gossip page, however.

I lay in bed after such a horrible day and cried myself to sleep. It’s the patriarchy’s fault! A world in which I’m unhappy and have to experience unpleasantries shouldn’t exist. Tomorrow I hope I will be perceived as beautiful by everyone I come across, be complimented for my great ideas, and be approached by an intelligent, sexy, funny, tall, rich, and well-endowed man who respects my independence and strength. Please god destroy the evil patriarchy so that nothing bad will happen to me ever again. Only then can I finally be happy.

Read Next: I’m Ready To Man Up

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Days of Broken Arrows
Days of Broken Arrows
7 years ago

Funny as hell, but the sad part is that this is just *barely* exaggerated enough to make it satire. Feminist blogs really do read like this.

Gavin Madden
7 years ago

This, my friend, is brilliant!

EarthlyEros
EarthlyEros
7 years ago

A day in the life, so true. Keep up the good work.

greenlander
greenlander
7 years ago

LMFAO! The best humor is always satire about the truth.

Burt
Burt
7 years ago

Back to your best Roosh. Its been awhile since you wrote something this stinging. I’m glad you’re done with the Bang book series, you are required here.
I agree with comment 1. It really is just barely exaggerated. Sad thing is it would easily fit in “mainstream” newspapers like the Guardian and not just some hags blog.

taterearl
taterearl
7 years ago

Which lady from Jezebel was a guest writer for today?

Oregonziggy
Oregonziggy
7 years ago

It is very sad indeed that it doesn’t really seem exegerated much at all.

Steve
Steve
7 years ago

Aye.

Zorro
Zorro
7 years ago

@#6 taterearl: There are no ladies at Jezebel. Those are all femnazi whores.

Bub
Bub
7 years ago

Good article but, in the u.s. at least, sugar tariffs keep prices higher than they would be not lower. Sugar growers here are subsidized but, as they are not as efficient as foriegn producers, the prices for domestic sugar are not as low as the level that we could import it. Corn syrup or corn based sugar is a different story.

Jim
Jim
7 years ago

And as time progresses, I notice women are the one’s who say hi now. Not in the bars where the sausage fests are at but where it counts the most. In simply just crossing paths in everyday life. Why is that?

dumasworld
dumasworld
7 years ago

we had a feminist guest writer today?

Phinn
Phinn
7 years ago

You could get a job (writing under a pseudonym) for one of those Single Girl in the City blogs. Just cut and paste. No editing.

T
T
7 years ago

…Poe’s law?

this might be entertaining to you. It’s actually a reality for most if not all women, so you maybe should think about that instead of joking about things you can never experience.

“Men should know better than to offend the cultured sensibilities of a woman by thinking they can get sex from just anyone” Well, do you think you can get sex from anyone? it isn’t owed to you by anyone, not under any circumstances, and that’s final. Deal with it and find yourself people who want sex, not partners whom you made feel obligated to you.

“Men treat women like objects instead of intellectual creatures.” You don’t seem to think that’s the case, despite the shining example of that behavior your blog provides.

“I shouldn’t have to work harder than men for equal work but less pay” Well, no, we shouldn’t. Even you can’t possibly believe women inherently deserve less money for the same job. Why is this used in satire?

“They are pushing unrealistic standards on women that are utterly impossible to maintain” This is also true. Why is it mocked? The issue of being overweight isn’t the problem; what’s wrong is that as a woman, society teaches you that attractiveness is your primary quality. Which is just wrong. Overweight men don’t face nearly as many difficulties.

“Men should never hit women for any reason. Shame on men everywhere for not speaking up against male-on-female violence.” They shouldn’t. Would you disagree? Believing in equality means you think no one should hit anyone for any reason, period. It doesn’t mean you should condone man-on-woman and woman-on-man violence.

“This male-owned magazine is just perpetuating negative stereotypes” It does. Women didn’t invent the patriarchy to find a something to blame; it’s fed to us from the youngest age through every form of media and social interaction. Including by other women.

This article only demonstrates that you don’t have the simplest idea of what the patriarchy is, or how male privilege works. Being a man means you see your state as the norm – and the obstacles that women face are invisible to you.

The arguments I mentioned should not be made fun of; the others just don’t have anything to do with the patriarchy.

V
V
5 years ago
Reply to  T

Bravo!

Markus
Markus
7 years ago

Roosh,
I applaud your defense of Men and staunt opposition to feminists. But you are beggining to sound like a bitter Masculinist.
Feminists waste their time pushing their beliefs because they are unhappy with themselves. They complain for the sake of complaining.
Let’s focus our attention on fixing our women rather than complaining about complainers.
-Markus

Teedub
7 years ago

This is fucking brilliant mate.

Days of Broken Arrows
Days of Broken Arrows
7 years ago

I was going to go through the ranting by “T” and pick it apart. Then I remember what most feminists look like and therefore why they should not be engaged on any level.

[Roosh: lol]

The Watcher
The Watcher
7 years ago

Feminists sound like conspiracy theorists when they start ranting about the patriarchy. It’s like their version of the Illuminati.

OlioOx
OlioOx
7 years ago

Roosh, the big names of the manosphere really need to comment on this radical manifesto by Owen/Tyler of RSD — you’ve probably seen it by now:

Your Girlfriend Is A Raging Slut! How Does That Make You Feel?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxWuREjuLAE

You predicted that in 2013, PUA/Game will go mainstream. Do you think it’s ready for THIS?

[Roosh: You can tell he doesn’t mean what he’s saying by his tone and body language. He’s just going for shock value but it comes across as insincere.]

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

I get cockblocked because of feminism not because I look like a creep.

Feminism turned women into arrogant whores. They are too stuck up to realize that living in your Dad’s basement and not having a job is an artistic, masculine lifestyle choice.

Eastern European women aren’t ruined by feminist ideals and are more willing to please me than Western women. It has nothing to do with the fact that I lie about my name, occupation, and that these girls are poor, uneducated, and want to get out of their 3rd world shitholes.

Feminism makes women become gold digging gluttonous whores and my cost-per-notch is too high because of it. I make hamburgers and cheap stir fry dinners for poor Polish girls because they don’t know any better.

Isaac Jordan
Isaac Jordan
7 years ago

Great post, Roosh. It’s awesome to see a leader in this community dedicating so much energy to battling feminism. I think there’s a lot of long-term fulfillment to be gained in fighting for a cause you believe in, and I’m with you 100%.

@19 OlioOx

That’s an interesting video. I like the guy, and I think he’s got a lot of good stuff, especially on inner game. Not sure if I can agree with him entirely here, however.

While an aversion to sluts may be a biological predisposition in men (sperm wars and all that), I think an even bigger issue is that all men, even blue pill guys, know that they’re going to have to trade SOMETHING for sex. Time, energy, resources, money; these things in some combination or other are usually a prerequisite for a woman’s intimacy.

A guy like Tyler, who’s become so adept at the art of seduction that he can get laid by simply talking to a girl for a few minutes, invests nowhere near what the average guy has to invest in order to get that same girl’s panties off. It’s this idea of “paying” more for the same product that I think really gets guys irked. As GBFM said, why should I pay more for something that other guys got when it was younger, hotter, tighter, and free? I know I’d certainly be upset if I had to take a girl out three times before getting laid, only to find out that she regularly hooks up with randos from the club.

Then again, if we’re viewing things in economical terms, there’s something to be said for a guy like Tyler, who in his interactions with women likely brings a lot more value (in the form of his personality and how he can make a girl feel) to the table than your average dude with no game. So while it may take some AFC a $100 dinner date in order to meet a woman’s “price” for sex, a guy like Tyler can provide just as much value with perhaps a drink and an hour’s worth of attention.

Both guys are paying, i.e. delivering value, albeit in a different way. Most guys just won’t take the time to learn how to create that value (that is, to learn game), and so get upset when a woman seems to give it away “for free” to one guy, yet makes another pay. The guy she gave it to “for free” likely provided her with a much better experience than the guy who has to open his wallet. But it’s easier to accuse women of manipulating the price than it is for men to teach themselves how to deliver more value.

Eduardo
Eduardo
7 years ago

Your anti-feminism is really annoying.

You’re complaining about this all the time, but for the wrong audience.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
7 years ago

“Men should be required to wear 20 pound leg weights so we have more equality during competition.”

Roosh, you need to read this very short (2 page) story from Kurt Vonnegut Jr. It’s about the overachievers in society having to put something in their brain to dumb them down so they don’t offend the fucking idiots of society. This whole essay reminds me of that story, scary:

Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html

meh
meh
7 years ago

“Your anti-feminism is really annoying.”

That’s funny, 99% of the readers here like it. You should probably leave.

Princeton
Princeton
7 years ago

Just read this:

http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2012-12-a-letter-to-the-guy-who-harrassed-me-outside-the-bar

From the comments section:

“I hate to say it, but being fat can have the same dampening effect on unwanted male attention. Since I’ve gained weight, I’ve really enjoyed the ability to simply walk around outside without some creeper following me and making dreadful comments.

Not that it discourages all men, but honestly, it’s enough of a plus that I don’t feel as motivated to get back in shape.”

LINK: http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2012-12-a-letter-to-the-guy-who-harrassed-me-outside-the-bar#comment-772492524