Language

For the last month, I’ve been asked the same question at least a dozen times.

Are you going to South America for the girls?

No, I’m not. And I’ll tell you why.

There are two types of connection: physical and emotional. Physical connection is good enough for the first couple of dates until you get in bed with someone, but to continue after that, there has to be some type of emotional connection. Getting with girls abroad is not that difficult; alcohol and physical attraction without many words are enough to fuel a good time that lasts several days or so, until the novelty of staring at each other in near silence and drawing funny pictures wears off. It is very difficult to establish an emotional connection without language.

In college I knew this kid who would play and sing the latest rock ballads on his guitar. Girls would sometimes cry during his performances. I’d think, “Give me a break,” while mentally calculating how many hours of practice it would take me to get to his skill level. I did not learn how to play the guitar, but I did look at communication in a different way.

The importance of language, specifically words, did not hit me until I met this one Eastern European girl. She was the same age as me, with short blonde hair, and a type of nonstop laugh that makes you think you have a really good sense of humor. She was fluent in English. She wanted to hear a story, so I told her a story, a personal “love” story that did not have a happy ending. A story for another day.

Telling her this story caused me to relive it once more; relive not so much pain but a disappointed sadness, and I looked in this girl’s eyes, who I met three hours prior, and saw tears. She must have experienced something similar, I thought. I looked away as she wiped the tears away to give her a private moment, so she can feel what she wants to feel without someone maybe judging her.

At the time I didn’t remember doing that before, making a girl cry from a story; and it’s not power I felt, but a sort of humanity where we our experiences, what makes us who we are, is able to affect other people, whether happy or sad, positive or negative. Music is one way of doing this, language the other. Out of all the tricks I know to increase a girl’s physical arousal, none can touch the power that mere words have, that a story has.

Will I take advantage of sexual opportunities in South America? Yes. Will I be on the lookout for a serious relationship, for a girl I can import into the United States? No. If you can’t make it work with your own people, the idea of romantic love in a faraway land is more fantasy than reality. Unless, of course, you are trying to become fluent in the place you are going to.

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Jay Gatsby
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Jay Gatsby
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Glad to see you’re going to South America for the enlightenment the experience will provide, rather than just the ass. Having spent a solid chunk of time abroad, I can tell you that you’ll come back changed in such a way that you can’t even imagine right now. This probably goes without saying, but take a journal and tape recorder with you to record what you see and how you feel about it. Go into the experience with almost a journalist’s mindset, but be a subjective rather than objective observer.

mm
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mm
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Well written. It’s good to know you don’t have any unrealistic expectations.
I’ve said this before, but I really think you’re starting to get soft on us. Is this some sort of emo phase? I’m diggin it, though.
I hope you have a great time on your travels and I look forward to your new posts.

Mr Boofu
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Mr Boofu
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Man this is some bullshit. Your won’t be on en lighting trip when you hit bahia or rio and see all that Brazilian ass, tan lines, and long curly hair. Enlightenment is a great principal if I was a Jedi Knight or Buddhist, but I’m just a simple whore and whore’s travel for only one reason…New ass!!! You DCB are a whore as well.

gn
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gn
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Softie.

Roissy
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Roissy
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don’t close yourself off to the possibility of love overseas. you might meet a sultry brazilian who speaks passable english. and love acts to focus the mind… total immersion in every way sharpens your language skills quickest.

as for balladeers — there are very few contexts within which a man can brood emotionally and win over girls. singing it through music, or even better in front of an audience, is one of them.

Mandy
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Mandy
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You’re taking the right approach. You can’t control when you meet the right person, so you might as well just focus on yourself and your journey. And if it happens, hey, it’s a nice surprise. If it doesn’t…well, nothing was really lost.

There are plenty of girls who speak passable English in South America (lots of educated girls), and I don’t think the major hurdle is the language. The cultural differences–not including language–are the toughest to overcome in certain regions of South America (the mindset about love and sex, the structure of the daily routine, etc.)

kayla
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kayla
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The power of words is one that is lost on many. It’s the way we all truly connect – our experiences/thoughts/feelings define who we are.

me
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me
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I heart sensitive Roosh!