I was only going to stay in Lima for a couple nights but the nightlife sucked me in and I ended up staying for a week.
Tuesday. There is a mall built into a beach cliff called LarcoMar that has several clubs, including Bartini, a house venue that is most similar to Spank back in D.C. The girls were unfriendly and no one danced until after 1AM, maybe because the DJ’s refused to spin any Ministry of Sound-like anthems. My buzz was killed due to gunfire outside the club. $3 cover includes a free beer. 1.5 vodka shots out of 5.
Wednesday. A $5 cover gets you into El Dragon with a free Pisco Sour. A much nicer crowd danced to popular house, rock, and some 80’s and 90’s, the best mix I heard in Lima. A bit of a sausage fest but the girls were cute and wanted to be talked to. I got a kick out of partying until 4:30AM on a Wednesday night. 3.5 vodka shots out of 5.
Thursday. Sargento Pimienta (Sargent Pepper) is a warehouse with speakers where all the young, very white Peruvians go to party. The old school music is the type that would clear most American dance floors (Celebrate, Getting Jiggy With It, etc), and there was a horrible one hour set by a wannabe Eminem rapper who has only mastered saying “Uh” and “Wooooh!” in the microphone. A breakdancer got on stage and shouted “Fuck Bush,” but gave props to Los Angeles. Cover is $5. 1.5 vodka shots out of 5.
The night ended at Eka, a lounge bar that serves more as a date venue than a pick-up spot. Downstairs is the “Factoria” where Death Speed Trance was being played at an insanely fast 148 beats per minute. The four people who were on the dancefloor looked like they were having seizures. I’m pretty confident the DJ killed small furry animals as a child. 0 methamphetamine hits out of 5.
Friday. Gotica is a mega-club in Larcomar, with an astronomical $16 cover (by Peruvian standards) that keeps out the gringo riff-raff who rather drink cheaply and talk sports in the hostel bar.
It’s not easy to work the club solo due to its impersonal size, but it had the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen in my life. Some were friendly, some weren’t, but it’s quite a feeling to be standing with your manly beer and looking down at this sea of fine exotic women. Believe me when I say I savored the moment, and I would have taken a picture for you with my second disposable camera had it not been stolen while I danced. An Israeli who introduced me to the club summed it up nicely: “It’s hard not to hook up with a girl there. The only problem is you’ll have a girl early but you’ll be thinking if you can get something hotter.” 5 vodka shots out of 5.
Everyone has bad things to say about Lima, starting with the depressing fog that permanently blankets the city during winter, but it’s been the highlight of my trip so far.
If you liked this post then I think you will like my travel memoir A Dead Bat In Paraguay, about when I quit my job and sold my stuff to try and bang my way across South America. It contains my experiences with South American women and the struggles that crushed me both mentally and physically. Called "refreshing." "honest," and "inspiring," A Dead Bat In Paraguay is available in both eBook and paperback. Check out the homepage to watch the introductory video, read exerpts, or learn more about what's inside.