Look At My Striped Shirt!

Every white guy who graduates from college must read this and print it out:

Look at my button down striped shirt! Fucking look at it! This shirt means one thing! I’m coming home with some pussy tonight! That’s right! It’s been a long week at the office and it’s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say “Junior Vice President” on them! They’re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it!

My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too!

I figure we’ll kick off the night with some Golden Tee! I am going to smack the shit out of that little white ball! It’s going to be so fucking loud! I’ll bet I can drive that pretend golf ball 600 fucking yards tonight! I’m that fucking pumped!

Read the whole thing here.

If you are a white male I want you to say the following: “I am a unique individual. I do not have to dress like other white boys. Blue is not the only color in the rainbow.”

Good job.

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Michael KirneyJoe T.ArjewtinoLiz Recent comment authors
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Steve Lurkel
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Steve Lurkel
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Shouldn’t that read “Striped”?

Kathryn
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Kathryn
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Did you seriously just find that post? Isn’t it over a year old?

I mean, yes, it’s very true, but…
:rolleyes2:

Sandra Dee
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Sandra Dee
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Isn’t this the truth?! It seems like every guy at the bar on a Saturday night is starting to look the same.

Ugh. Some diversity, please?

Sweatpants
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Sweatpants
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Making fun of white males is really easy if you’re not one.

I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make here.

Roissy
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Roissy
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j crew, BR, and ken cole could use a man with your fashion and market savvy. please, just come in through the backdoor here, it’s VIP for our prized candidates. pay no mind the drill bits sitting on the metal tray.

KassyK
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KassyK
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I am lol…What is wrong with blue shirts?! I hope you mean STRIPED instead…preppy is nasty looking.

Also, metro striped shirts with popped colors and perfectly put together outfits–and a fake tan–now that is even more barfy.

What about shiny Euro trash outfits…I’ll call guys out on those as well…or braided brown belts. EW.

Or more hair product than I use.

A
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A
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The alternative is “look at my cowboy boots”, or “look at my plaid shirt.” Maybe you’d perfer “look at my Euro silk shirt.” Better yet, you’d probably enjoy “look at my expensive, snow white thawb, my ridiculously expensive kufiyyah, and my literally gold igaal.” (A thawb is an ankle length shirt of wool or cotton, traditionally worn in the Emirates, and an igaal is a double-coiled cord circlet).

Jay Gatsby
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Jay Gatsby
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I’ve always advocated it’s not the clothes that make the man, it’s the body. You can be wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but if you’ve got a great physique, everyone is going to know it. All the Brooks Brothers, JCrew, Abercrombie, etc… boys simply can’t compete with the animalistic nature of being in great shape.

As for being unoriginal, DC is the poster-child for conservative male dress. Someone once once said “chalk-striped suits go with chalk-striped minds”. No greater truth than that….

Ben
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Ben
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Is this post orginally from 2005?

Namaste
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Namaste
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Amen.

Liz
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Liz
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Wow. Welcome to last year.

Arjewtino
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Arjewtino
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That’s it. I’m getting rid of all my shirts. I hope you’re happy, Roosh, you just single-handedly changed my wardrobe.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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Also, don’t forget the sports. You gotta talk sports… especially hockey. Who the fuck gives two shits about that crappy sport? But if you live in any big, northeastern city (and that includes DC), you haveta be a mindless hockey fan.

And your opinion about soccer has to be that it’s a wimpy sport, played by those faggoty Euros, and that there’s not enough violence and contact in it (contact? Ohhh, how homoerotic! But I digress…) And that in soccer, the scores are too low, and (GOOD GAWD! Call out the National Guard and alert the Congregation!), a game can actually end in a tie!

The Baby Jesus hates soccer!!!

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Wow, sounds like somebody was a soccer pussy in high school. Drop off your lunch money on the way out sucker.

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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lol

Joe T.
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Joe T.
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Why in DC is it de rigueur, if you’re a young white guy, to be a hockey fan and go to “Caps” games? Who cares about hockey?!

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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it’s generous to say that was from 2005. i’d say 03 or 04. way to stay on the cutting edge– striped shirts are no longer the problem– it’s tight t-shirts with stupid designs on them from places like club monaco and french connection. that, and bitch-ass sneaker slippers. oooooh– are those diesel shoes or golas? either way, you look like a bitch.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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its not only dc i’s ny’s upper east side, chicago’s lincoln park, even san francisco’s marina district. frat boys leave college to go to frat bars where they wear their kakhi pants and blue shirts. i’m not sure what would be better – going back to the 1950s where men wore hats and dressed up with hats or for all guys to wear simple cotton solid shirts, ditching the oxford.

Michael Kirney
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Michael Kirney
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I find these striped-shirt guys usually clump together in groups as large as 7 or even 10 individuals. I won’t even go in a bar if I see a clump on the patio or visible in a window. Also, wear a tie. Nobody wears ties anymore, especially in casual surroundings. Gets you noticed.