Losing Your Way

I went to Iceland in the middle of winter. I was immediately struck by the isolation—the city was dead and I had no one to talk to compared to my time in South America when I always had a buddy around. I used to go out solo dolo only occasionally but now I was doing it exclusively. I began to develop strategies to get laid at night without having to use any wingmen.

As my European trip progressed, I decided that rolling solo was the way to go. The proof was in the girls I was banging, often within an hour or two, from all types of clubs. I discovered that there is anxiety in standing alone at the club, and you relieve that anxiety by doing approaches (when you’re with a friend, you have a comfortable home base that actually makes you approach less). My results indisputably showed that I simply got laid much more when rolling solo. Soon, my social life soon consisted almost entirely of banging random girls with little male friendship.

My social skills remained high, because of all the game I was running, but my ability to be a friend declined and I was losing the ability to wing. I became more impatient and insular. I just wanted to get my dick wet as quickly as possible. I didn’t need friendship anymore—I transcended friendship. Not having friends freed up a lot of time: I published 9 books in less than two years, the most productive period of my life. My income rose and I was getting laid. I felt successful.

Inevitably my interest in notches declined. Not that I was becoming less horny, but I was reluctant to put in work to get something I’ve experienced so many times before. I had expected this, and decided that when it would happen, I’d double down on writing with a goal to earn more, even though I was making enough for my needs.

I launched Return Of Kings, which takes quite a bit of time. I was also working on three simultaneous books. I was excited that my productivity was going even higher. I was going to build an empire! Chasing girls too hard was a waste of time, just like friendship was. I had started developing symptoms of carpal tunnel in my right wrist. Instead of taking a step back and thinking about what was happening, I bought an ergonomic mouse so I could work even more.

When I moved to Lublin, I banged two girls in my first month and put them in rotation, not so much because I was in love with them, but because I didn’t want to have to go out much. My first trip to Poland had me going out four or more times a week. Now it was once. I was getting laid at least once a week and making cash. Life was great.

I released Bang Ukraine in January and the launch was my biggest yet. My entire life was going according to plan. At the end of that month I did my usual accounting and was pleased at all the sales I made. It was time to blow a couple hundred and celebrate.

I went through my phone. There was only one male friend in it, but he was in Warsaw, three hours away. All my friends were in random European, American, or South American cities. No problem—I got the two girls to hang with. I texted both. One was sick and the other didn’t reply. No problem—I’ll go to the club and find a new girl to celebrate with. I’ll get some new pussy.

In the first club I got hit with four blowouts in a row. Rustiness alone couldn’t explain that result so I went to another club that was packed with girls. It barely got better. I got out-gamed by teams of guys who could occupy cockblockers when I couldn’t. I used to love rolling solo because it was easy to get laid, but now I wished I had a wing.

Even if I did succeed that night and get laid, which I didn’t, I wondered who would I share the story with. If a man bangs a pretty girl in an Eastern European shithole and has no one to tell, did the bang make a sound?

I thought back to my previous decade of game and how the reward of it wasn’t necessarily in the sex act but in the bonding with men who were either there to witness it or help me. I got more satisfaction banging an average girl with a friend working by my side than banging a hottie alone with nothing but raw effort. I won’t deny that I have a strong biological desire to get laid, but that desire alone doesn’t justify the amount of work I’ve put into game. It was the male camaraderie that made it worth pursuing more than I would have.

I went home that night and logged onto the forum. Lots of activity, like usual. I checked my blog and there were many new comments to sift through. I had several new emails and Twitter replies. Usually this would provide me with some social validation, but not tonight. It felt abstract, almost fake. The money I made the previous month was abstract, too. It was just numbers on a screen that I couldn’t even spend because I had no one to spend it with. I might as well be living my life on the internet in the form of page views, comments, forum posts, and book sales.

I turned off my computer. I thought back to Brazil, when I lived in a favela. I was broke but chased more girls with my Danish roommate than while in Lublin, where I made a far more superior income. I remember how I told myself that I wanted to live in a nice apartment within a city of beautiful women and not have to take buses at night. I accomplished that task, but I was less content than I thought I would be.

I imagined how things would be in ten years if I continued. I would have a lot of money, probably. I would publish 30 books and get 10 million page views a month. But I saw myself alone, in a remote castle in some strange part of the world, with no social interaction besides a rotating door of women who I didn’t care much for and internet friends who would give me e-props via funny reaction gifs. It’s possible to have women, friendship, and money, but it seemed like I was running the common American program of just trying to stack paper because I didn’t know what else to do.

I went to bed that night satisfied. I was satisfied because I caught myself before it was too late to make a change. I knew that my priority wasn’t to make more money. My income was already sufficient. It wasn’t to mindlessly bang more girls in some shithole city, either. It was something that I used to have in the past, but gradually lost. I wanted to get it back, yet at the same time I knew that it wouldn’t be easy to turn back the clock to a time when I had different habits and needs. I wasn’t sure if it was worth fighting a wave that was taking me in a new direction.


  1. Koanic April 26, 2013 at 9:12 am

    There ya go bud. Now you’re talking sense.

  2. outlaw josey wales April 26, 2013 at 9:22 am

    You’ve read The Way of Men. You need a gang.

  3. Aurini April 26, 2013 at 9:47 am

    A lot of us are starting to dream about a better world, not just having the best that this world offers. I can feel it coming deep in my bones.

  4. juice April 26, 2013 at 9:47 am

    I like these personal posts, makes things more human. I can see you settling in a country for a long while now and building a social circle much like your friend in “King of Warsaw”

  5. WallStreetPlayboys April 26, 2013 at 9:48 am

    Great post, will be interesting to see if you make friends who are Eastern European or expats.

  6. Wilson April 26, 2013 at 10:05 am

    “more satisfaction banging an average girl with a friend working by my side than banging a hottie alone”

  7. Eda Ibis April 26, 2013 at 10:07 am

    Please don’t tell me you’ve found Jesus.

  8. Turner April 26, 2013 at 10:31 am

    evolution. Interesting to see how things progress. Once you get what you want, you are not quite as satisfied with what you thought it would be. Buddhism has some on point truths. It is hard to peg how to find contentment. Let me know when you find this one out.

  9. Nomad77 April 26, 2013 at 10:36 am

    “We will find ourselves in the service of others.” – Gandhi

  10. playmuc April 26, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Yeah, men need male friends. There’s nothing quite like meeting up for a few beers and some BBQ on an idle Sunday without any girls. Or to go watch your team play together. Or having someone to pick you up when you car dies in the middle of nowhere. (Just happened to me.) In life, everything is about balance. One can cut out the BS like watching TV and spending too much time mindlessly getting drunk in bars without a purpose, focus on work and achievement, but it’s not good to become too extreme, for example by putting sex with new girls above all else and forgetting about all the other important things.

    When we met in Zagreb or when I met wingmen from the forum in other places, a big part of the fun with the girls was to chat them up with another (competent) guy and the beers in between. For a man, girls are great for love, guys are great for everything else.

  11. Tampa April 26, 2013 at 11:23 am

    It’s weird. The older I get the less desire I haev to do the “guy time” deal or to really have any friends. I find peace and solace in isolation. When you go easy on the friends and heavey on the “me” time, you don’t have to meet expectations and you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Maybe it’s the height of personal selfishness. Sometimes I find friends a drain and a time suck. I’m not sure why. I can honestly say that my phone rarely rings over the weekend and it scares me sometimes how little it bothers me. About a month ago I took a trip by myself to Vegas…..just because I wanted to. I just hopped on a plane, stayed at that posh ass hotel and chilled in vegas for a few days. People thought i was crazy, but for some reason i find a lot of enjoyment out of it.

    At the end of the month, I think I’m going to head over to Europe for two weeks to just travel around. No agenda or anything, just get off the plane and go wherever I feel like going.

    Kind of odd, because when i was young I always wondered why my dad didn’t have any daily friends. Now, it all kind of makes sense. I think when you get older, you don’t really need the stimulation of daily interaction like you use to. You really cherish the peace of being alone and the lack of stress that no expecations creates.

  12. Daniel April 26, 2013 at 11:27 am

    I know exactly what you feel because I was there more than once (I’m 37 and I do a life similar to yours)
    I see from twitter you are in Romania, I’m planning to go there soon to later move to Moldavia and then Ukraine for the summer. I’d like to write you and be your wingman.

  13. Cad and Bounder April 26, 2013 at 11:54 am

    Roosh, I too am living a similar sort of life to this and if you are in Eastern Europe (the city is in my email address) you can hit me up.

    I think part of the problem with this sort of thing is that if you are devoting yourself to banging chicks then the only people you mix with are, errr, chicks you want or have banged.

    A friend of mine came to visit me and asked me what the men of city thought about this and that. My mind went blank them I realised I hadn’t had a single conversation with a local man.

    I would genuinely like to ‘friend’ some of the chicks I banged in order to widen my social circle (and tap into theirs) but you know how women are when they still like you. I’m trying to make a conscious effort to be more sociable on my current trip and not just focus on closing deals.

    Change will come. I think in time more men who have the ability to work remotely will decide to go and live in cities with higher value women.

    In addition at some point corporation will start realising that if you want to pre-select an office full of intelligent, courageous,pioneering men with balls than you will set up a virtual office based in a city with high value women.

  14. Pickernanny April 26, 2013 at 11:58 am

    fuck the past, live in the moment

  15. Bronan The Barbarian! April 26, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    ” If a man bangs a pretty girl in an Eastern European shithole and has no one to tell, did the bang make a sound?”

    Great quote.

  16. Anonymous April 26, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Yeah, whatever makes you happy , but before you “retire” you NEED to write Bang Romania.

    A Romanian guy.

  17. Hipstersstink April 26, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    I left all my life friends when I moved to europe. I have been fortunate enough to know a couple people where I am but some of my better friends are settling down.

    Settling down is something not in the cards for me. Unless a girl blows me away and improves my life I’m not getting married.

    Some of the single friends I have do a nightlife scene that is wasteful. They don’t plan, fly by the seat of their pants, go to expensive clubs late when the women population is declining, like to roll in big groups of guys, waste money, get too drunk, aka just not my style.

    So I’m left with rolling solo a lot until I meet a decent batch of guys more like my now married friends. When you get into your mid 30s this isn’t easy. But yeah, although I prefer to be alone, man I miss hitting on broads with one or two good friends and having a laugh at the same time. Good times.

  18. SL April 26, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    Tucker Max-level burnout?

  19. doulos2game April 26, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    I understand what you are going through. You have lost something that was so important to you. The reason as to why people get disorientated now a days is because we live in a symbolic world and a real world. In the symbolic world you had everything you needed. You have the forum, twitter, Facebook, Return of the Kings. All of your social needs where being meet. However, you had the recognition of not full fulling your real world needs. Even thought you might have millions of followers in twitter, it will mean nothing if your real world needs are not being meet. You are now realizing something that should have been in your mind since the beginning. However, your perception on your life was different than what it is now. Einstein said it best

    “I fear the day that technology will
    surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of

    Your symbolic world, just like it has done to so many of us, has made you less knowledgeable in the real world. I private message you in regards to something similar to this. The main reason you might have had a problem realizing it before could have been because you didn’t have anyone to give you a perception check.

  20. Adam April 26, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    You need a kid, bro.

  21. Kicker April 26, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    “I thought back to Brazil, when I lived in a favela. I was broke but chased more girls with my Danish roommate”

    Hmmm, Out of all the cities I’ve been in Brazil, Rio is the one I don’t miss at ALL … Expensive, I don’t like the overall attitude of “Cariocas”, the superficial culture of the city and the girls there, the fierce competition against all those body builders, ridiculous cock-blocking everywhere, being invisible as an outsider because the place is so packed with tourist etc, etc ..

    One thing is to do a lot of chasing and another is to do a lot of banging (I had a good wingman in Rio and we speak Portuguese), Actually I banged some french girls there and not a single carioca (the ones up to it were not of my liking) … I would go to Manaus again 20 times over Rio, As a shit hole as it may be, chasing alone or with wingman it delivers way more than Rio.

    In any case the first thing to consider in having a wingman IMO is that he is going to respect your interests and not become your worst cock-blocker!! (these are hard to find, ending up competing for the same babe is not uncommon), I usually hunt alone and the time I spend with my friends is doing some other activities.

  22. Giovonny April 26, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    Work hard, re-evaluate, adjust. Work hard, re-evaluate, adjust. Work hard, re-evaluate, adjust.

  23. Entropy April 26, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    Every man gets his fill eventually. There’s more to life than vagina. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but it’s great to see this change coming in you. You’re too smart to just write about pussy all the time.

  24. anon1 April 26, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    >It was something that I used to have in the past, but gradually lost

    nice hook, and setup for another post

  25. Rudebwoy April 26, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    Don’t even think about settling down, it is just a phase and you will snap out of it.

  26. apoclater April 26, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Interesting thoughts. Reminds me of a note I read on PostMasculine that went something like: “Guys get into game to get laid. They stay in game for the male friendship and validation.”

  27. gangstalicious April 26, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    Homies over hoes!

  28. Inside The University of Melbourne April 26, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    Just like what you’ve mentioned in your happiness posts it almost sucks to see that whatever you aim to achieve, once you do it, you feel.. sorta empty.

  29. Ruxman April 26, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    “I discovered that there is anxiety in standing alone at the club, and you relieve that anxiety by doing approaches”

    That must be why I enjoy going out alone, great quote.

  30. soren k April 26, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    Reading you over the years Roosh has been a great pleasure. In a way I feel like I know you like I do an old friend. You are evolving ; that much is clear. But to where ? I think wisdom and spirituality is the last outpost brother. Its where you truly transcend to lasting peace and happiness. Read the wisdom of the ancients and follow the path to greatness. Read the taoists, the Buddhists, the mystics of all traditions. Go deep. Discard the exoteric rituals and conformity that lies within each path and arrive at the center where the truth is. It’s the only path that leaves a man satisfied and where his cup always floweth.

  31. surrey jack April 26, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    Think everyone of ur commenters would wanna meet u
    speakin of which i cant comment on uur returnofkings site …wht gives?

  32. 20th Level April 26, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    Finally, at last you are starting to see the light Roosh.

    Just remember everything needs balance though. Don’t become one of those guys with the loud dudebro posse spilling beers and shouting WOOOO!! every five minutes.

  33. Anonymous April 27, 2013 at 2:28 am

    I concur with #21.

    You need a kid.

    Kids give depth to our personality and a whole another dimension to our human experience. They makes us better men.

    And you don’t have that much time because in a few years (in your 40s) a whole set of new problems and challenges will inevitably arise, and will be there for the long haul. Entering your 40s you will be on the downward path in your life and, trust me, you don’t want to deal with small kids while dealing with declining health and ever real existential middle-age crisis at the same time.

    Losing your way now is nothing compared to trials and tribulations awaiting you in your declining years.

  34. John Rambo April 27, 2013 at 5:10 am

    I don’t see how living a solitary, almost monk like lifestyle, is a bad thing. As long as you are making tons of money, then I’d be pretty happy to have such a lifestyle.

    If I was single, AND had lots of money, I’d probably start experimenting with MDMA, magical mushrooms, and marijuana again.

    Looks like you’ve conquered the outer world. Now it’s time to perhaps go into the inner world, and find the highest goal of life, enlightenment.

  35. madmax April 27, 2013 at 5:36 am

    I am on the opposite side of the spectrum, Roosh: my business failed, I have no money, I am alone as a dog, and therefore I don’t give much of a fuck about women at the moment. (I am not blaming anyone or bitching, just saying that we are at the opposite spectrums). But I am happy for you and your success, you deserve that and more.
    The problem is that all this technology shit is making us too busy. I wish I could throw all this shit away, jump into a time machine, and go back 100 years. No doubt I would miss on some great knowledge, but let’s face it, all this tech crap makes everyone more withdrawn. All this iphone shit etc, too much shit. I am no nerd though….Believe it or not, I never used Twitter. All I know is that it sounds like ‘Twatter’ but I still don’t know what the fuck is about, nor do I care. I rarely join forums, they are full of dicks anyways. When the day fades, I want to turn off all the computer shit and look at the sunset.

  36. Around the world in 80 Girls April 27, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Roosh. I would advise you to go sight seeing at least a few times a week. I haven’t heard you about any sight seeing since your book Dead bat in Paraguay.
    It really takes your mind of things. You have an interest in history. At least I guess you do since you read a lot of books about it.\

    Start seeing the sights and clear your mind of all things business, feminism and even girls.

    Or bring a girls with you if you must.

    Anyway, just an idea that might help.

  37. Jenny Johnson April 27, 2013 at 9:03 am


  38. MrLemon April 27, 2013 at 11:41 am

    It all gets stale after a while. “Like too little butter scraped over too much bread” as Bilbo said.

    That’s when you decide to look for that increasingly rare thing….a good loyal woman. You get married, buy a house, and have kids.

    When it works, it’s the ultimate thing in a man’s life. But of course the risk and challenge is very severe right now. Might not be in your comfort zone.

  39. Lothrio April 27, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    Roosh going through a phase solidifies my belief we want both …..

    1. Our freedom to chase the strange at our whim

    2. A loving Family and Loyal Friends that you can come to at the end of hard day and have a home cooked meal that you can enjoy .

    Problem is we can’t have both ” Have our cake and eat it too” , May we all find the perfect balance between the two ……..

  40. SJ April 27, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Roosh you will be glad when you push 40+ and libido drops then you will no longer have a need to get notches. I banged tons of hot ass years ago and still do but not a focus on my life.

  41. George April 27, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    Great internal dialogue, thanks for sharing. Brad and I were hanging out yesterday and saying pretty much the same thing. Men need male company – we need our friends to do lots of fun stuff with. Hanging with women alone doesn’t suffice. Playing sport, doing extreme stuff and watching some TV/movies is only good with mates.

  42. Nik April 27, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Man, sometimes I feel exactly the same for being an Italian expat in Bratislava. Miss my buddies from down there in southern Italy, but I have kind of a nice job (I fly the Boeing 737 around the world for a Slovak charter company) and well… pussy is waaaaaay better where I am now compared to my hometown.
    I guess most of the guys following your blog around eastern Europe owe your books and wisdom a few notches(personally, I TOTALLY DO).
    I am sure if you just look around your blog you will just find plenty of grateful and competent real-life buddies (also ready to share their social circles) all around fantastic eastern Europe. I for one would gladly introduce you to my Slovak flight-attendendants collegues if you were ever around the the place…
    Just keep up the good work man! Your resourches in the real world, coming from your virtual job, are far greater than you may think!

  43. Mark Minter April 28, 2013 at 3:19 am

    Better this way though, Roosh. Better alone. People will drag you down, hold you back, take, use what you have, then turn their backs on you.

    Build a life of steel and concrete that is yours and yours alone, then allow people to visit it.

    Better to be alone and self-sufficent, than to be so embedded in the lives of others and they in yours. People, people that you trust immensely will damage you.

    You know there are limits to people, limits to all relationships, and it is entirely better not to depend on others.

    You didn’t end up alone because you didn’t wish it. The limits of relationships showed themselves to you. And you evolved to it.

    So better to come into relationships with a position of strength and knowledge you don’t need them.

    There are so many memories I have in relationships with people where it just turned out badly. And now I am mostly alone, and nothing turns out badly.

    I mostly never screw myself over. I don’t cheat myself. I don’t hurt myself. I don’t use myself. And late at night those memories play back like a movie, a bad movie, those things that turned out badly, that sometimes I have to snap to awareness to shut off the movie.

    And I tell myself as a reassurance, “I like being alone”. It is not a con job, it is a comforting thing. It is like having bad experiences in the past with sharks and now living in Kansas. When the memories of the sharks come back, you say “I live in Kansas now. There are no sharks.”

    Yeah, better this way, from strength and not from need.

  44. Mark Minter April 28, 2013 at 3:32 am

    One more point. Better to ride this wave while you have it. Yes, you did create it, and for now, it is good.

    But fate is a fucker. Fortune favors the bold, but it also has a particular attraction to youth. My advice is ride this horse hard until 40 because things can change and will change after 45.

    When Roman generals received their “triumph”, the parade through Rome after some major victory, it was common to have another person in the chariot that repeated, over and over, to the general,

    “All fortune is fleeting”.

  45. Anonymous April 28, 2013 at 4:05 am

    This will be a good time to read Friendship by Ralph Waldo Emerson

  46. Aliens and Angels April 28, 2013 at 6:34 am

    Amazing 92 page document talking about Underground Military Bases, the Illuminati, reptilian and gray aliens and how they are working with the Illuminati to try to enslave the human race. Also has a list of the main underground bases and their locations.

    This is probably the best and most concise 92 page document about the TRUTH that I have ever read.

    Download it here

  47. someguyfromcro April 28, 2013 at 6:55 am

    Nothing serious, just a first signs of middle age crisis, it will pass.

  48. madmax April 28, 2013 at 9:17 am

    # 36

    ”You need a kid.”

    What a load of bullshit. A strong man doesn’t ‘need’ anyone. Yours is the umpteenth illusion, thinking that one thing, in life, is one way. That’s how women think.

    But truth is, how do you know that having a kid would make you happy? You could have a kid and the kid could be the worst dick you ever met. Your kid could be a criminal, a maniac, or anything.

    Seriously, wake the fuck up.

  49. madmax April 28, 2013 at 9:32 am

    Roosh feels like that because his family doesn’t understand him. I have been there, and yes it sucks.

    And also, this middle age crisis is true. I used to diss it but this shit is true. On wikipedia there’s a very good article about it, which leads to another article about Japanese loners (I don’t remember how they are called but it’s interesting). It seems like us introverts (not saying shy, it’s not quite the same thing) feel all this stuff more than extroverts. The extroverts seem not to think much. I wonder how they do it. Introverts are more introspective, I think Roosh is like that too. We observe and think more and we might mix into a group but we always feel like we don’t belong anywhere. This is also due to the fact that Roosh has seen a lot of places other than American places, which most Americans don’t really do. He doesn’t feel like he belongs in America forever and the family thing to him feels a bit like America, in a microcosm. Maybe I am completely wrong or maybe I am right, I don’t know. I think that in life it’s normal to lose your way, especially if like Roosh you try all this different stuff. It’s almost like knowledge: it can make you very intelligent but it can bring you pain as well. Still, it’s better than to live the illusion of ignorance. Oscar Wilde said: ‘Truth is rarely pure and never simple’. I’d rather know the brutal truth than to live like an happy idiot in a lie. Besides, only idiots are completely happy. So, Roosh, embrace it. It’s like fear. It will never entirely leave us, but we can still work with it. Although I don’t diminish your feelings, from what I see I think you are doing pretty well, I wish I were in your shoes.

  50. Nestorius April 28, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Maybe you will be better near your family.
    And if things are not better in the US, then maybe your whole family should move to some place better, maybe Turkey.

  51. Nestorius April 28, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Also, it’s not too late to learn to do things that used to interest you before. Maybe some profession.

  52. Jamie McGaffin April 28, 2013 at 11:34 am

    How about you SUCK MY DIRTY FUCKIN’ CLIT and give me a super hot orgasm? That will get rid of your mid-life crisis, Roosh.

  53. Andy April 28, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Keep it up rooshv; you will find your way. You serve as an example of what can be. Don’t let us down.

  54. Richard April 28, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    what a man needs is a challenge, something to conqueror. you’ve conquerored game… you not only got to the pinacle personally but helped many people follow your footsteps, with excellent well thought out books….

    great…. but now you’ve conquerored that peak…. of course you are looking at the view and going what next….. ?

    that’s normal….

    a man needs something to conqueror…. once he’s conquerored it he feels without direction until he finds that new something to conqueror…..

    and it’s never about money…. never…. read the autobiographies of some of the great businessmen, they are never only about money… money is two things… a measure of sucess, proof of idea and proof of having taken the right direction….

    and the freedom to try other directions and gauge if those are sucessful or not…

    so whether the new direction is finding a wife and having kids, becoming better known for being creative (writing, art, music etc.), winning the presidental election, inventing the warp drive, making a billion in the stock market….

    whatever it might be, a man needs a mission in life, something to excel in, something to conqueror.

    it’s a bit pointless throwing away all you’ve done, and starting all over again…. that would be discounting all your hard work todate….

    so what you have to look for is your next directtion… generally speaking men are not that satisfied with family life…. they say a man is happy with his family when his work is going well….

    so you gotta take what you’ve done and all your experiences you have and build on it from there…..

  55. Anonymous April 29, 2013 at 12:44 am

    Minter’s comment is good.–

  56. Alice April 29, 2013 at 1:15 am

    Totally unrelated:

    Searching for something only cursorily related to this article, I stumbled upon it.
    It motivated the following:
    (I’m a bad writer, needlessly long and with needless abstraction, but they’re hard features to fight; please bear with me)

    You urge that North America men should travel, because such experience will show them how different things are in other places with regard to female feminity and related behaviour, and so put their motherland into perspective, and make them appreciate how it could be different, and they themselves could be different, too, yes? The conclusions post-trip of others cannot substitute for seeing other countries firsthand?

    All this talk is adding another angle to a desire in me to travel.

    With regard to your focuses of interest, which seem to revolve around making men more masculine and women more feminine, do you think Anglosphere women stand to be affected (or “benefit”, in your eyes) by travel to places like Eastern Europe, as well?

    Obvs, don’t reply if it’s way down on your priority list. … Now that I think of it, there are plenty of people who I could ask…

  57. OlioOx April 29, 2013 at 6:48 am

    How common is it for men to grow more solitary and bearish as they age? Seems fairly normal behavior for a lot of men.

  58. Theodora April 29, 2013 at 9:48 am

    Being alone as the ultimate advice and the solution to all problems is the most defeatist and depressing thing I’ve ever heard!
    The problem is not other people, it’s how we behave around them, what they bring out of us:this is what people who end up alone either willingly or not can’t cope with and should work on. It’s a challenge and it might involve pain, but it also involves joy.

  59. Anonymous April 29, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Stop worrying so much about your moods, Roosh.–

    Moods are a very tertiary item at best. Just relax and stop thinking that every few months requires you to “add it all up.”

    You have a superb life.

  60. SunSword April 30, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Interesting because an INTP has no such desire for the guy gang.

  61. madmax May 3, 2013 at 7:24 am

    63 Anonymous

    yeah that’s what shallow, superficial people say, or youngsters with no life experience on their shoulders. But Roosh isn’t like you. Socrate said: ‘a life not examined, is not worth living’.

    Hell, I like Roosh because he constantly examines and question things. He’s able to switch to a bird’s eye and look at himself and what happens around him and he tries to figure things out. That’s why I like him and that’s why I find his experience valuable. If he were another run-of-the-mill shallow person or ‘guru’, I would have never bought his books and read his articles.

    But you know, admittedly there seem to be an advantage to be ‘blissfully’ ignorant. Too bad it’s just a perception, and does not reflect the objective reality. Is it really bliss? It’s like someone cutting your finger off and you not noticing it because you are under anesthetic. The fact that you don’t feel anything doesn’t mean nothing is happening.

  62. Gui May 3, 2013 at 8:03 am

    I love your sad existential posts as I suffer the same moodswings where things periodically appear meaningless. I think after many years you’ll make a great autobiography by going through all your blogs and examining how you felt and the desilusions you went through. Because you are well read and intelligent you can analyse yourself before you fall in the routine, because you can notice when you’re unhappy where other people just validade themselves through accomplishments and material gains you see the meaningless of your empire every so often. I can’t wait to see that book after everything is over. One conclusion i can see there is that: being a womanizer is crucial to a great man’s ascent. All the greats were womanizers, and I can see why in my life, before women I looked bad, didn’t know much and wasn’t that interesting or sexy. And chasing ever better pussy improves all aspects of your live, anyone who never did it in history eventually decomposed. It is as if learning to instinctively attract women is simply a tool unlocking the endless paths of men’s grandeur, even though it seems to be the most superfluous of goals.

  63. garvan-the-mad May 5, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Picking up with a good friend, or a group of friends is a wonderful thing.

    It’s like a team working together to accomplish a task. Your world is surrounded by dudes who are all down and privy to getting down with the ladies.

    Everyday ends up feeling like an adventure. Everyone is having successes, and you’re sharing in each other’s successes.

    You have stories of the nasty girl from last night that smelled of vomit and was the size of a small vehicle.

    You have legends of ridiculous bangs happening through ingenious working of hidden doors and alleyways.

    The time when pick-up for me was the most fun and entertaining was definitely when the game was still an adventure as opposed to practice done in solitude to improve.

  64. James May 11, 2013 at 8:33 am

    Thank you for this post, it’s prompted me to review my lifestyle and realise i need to change. My priorities have been incorrect for some time now.

  65. Beto June 19, 2013 at 9:39 am

    I think middle life crisis come and hit us when we less expected. For me (already married, 34) was when started traveling a lot for work and alone, started seeking how to pick up girls in each trip. At the begining was a challenge, once in the role…was very fun, I felt like the king, good money, great girls, great sex and a happy family back home until it became to be tedious process, not because a I was banging a lot, enough, but started missing the my old regular life…I just gave up one day and covered all my traces…sometimes you need that you can have it, so you can get it out of your system and be back to do what you already had.