Make Her Come To You

A somewhat recent phenomenon is trying to meet up with a girl via text messaging while you’re already out. Before everyone had a cell phone, it was dates or nothing. Whoever you went out with, that was your crew for the night. Arranging to meet someone at the club was dangerous (you may never find them), so you’d start at someone’s apartment or a nearby bar until the crew was assembled. Even when cell phones became popular, the unplanned meetup was uncommon. For example I don’t remember ever deciding at midnight to call a girl to find out where she was. Not only would it have been terribly needy, but it’s all too easy for girls to not answer their phone, and you already know what a pain it is to have a conversation when you’re in someplace loud.

But then text messaging become popular, and everything changed. You’ve probably used one of these messages to start the meetup process:

“Going out tonight?”
“What are you getting into tonight?”
“Where you headed tonight?”

She responds and then back and forth you go until your messages take a stronger tone of urgency upon realizing you’re in a bar with tons of cock and no hope for a same-night pull. Regardless, do not leave your spot to meet up with a girl. She must come to you. I don’t care how lame the bar you’re at is or how much you like the girl or how sincere she seems in wanting to see you, but you must never relinquish home field advantage by going where she is. It’s a guaranteed trap, even if you’ve already fucked her a couple times.

I’ve seen it too often where a guy chases a girl to the bar or club only to see that he wasn’t the only one texting her. He then has to compete for the girl with other guys like he would any other random girl he just approached. Two other common results include getting inadvertently cockblocked by the drunk birthday friend who needs babysitting or getting purposely cockblocked by the fat, disgusting friend.

Understand that texting at night allows girls to fulfill two of their major needs—drama and validation. There is nothing more a girl wants than testing how much a guy likes her by telling him to come to a place where she already has guys on her. It strokes her ego while making her feel desired, almost like a celebrity, and the drama that is sure to ensue is fodder she craves for conversation with her friends the next day— “Oh my god remember when Steve came as I was dancing with Tim? I forgot they knew each other from college hehe!!!”

The revolting part is that girls will go to quite an extreme to set a trap that snags even experienced players. One recent example involved my friend. A girl he met at a bar asked him to come with her and her girlfriend to a shitty bar in another part of town. My friend knew that she probably had some guy waiting for her there so he declined. The girl then started making out with him and stroking his cock through his jeans to show that she’s not playing games and really likes him. This sold my friend (sold me as well since I told him it was probably safe to go), and he hopped in a cab with the two girls. Needless to say but she did have another guy waiting for her, and used my friend to make that guy jealous. I felt just as burned as my buddy did, especially since I didn’t see it coming.

You must defend your home base like a lioness defends her cubs. You own it, and the minute you give it up for some girl who’s texting you, you’re going to regret it. If she’s serious about fucking you, she’ll drag her stupid friend to the bar you’re at for at least one drink. Otherwise she’s with a large group where other suitors or cockblockers will make it almost impossible to advance the seduction.

A good rule of thumb is this: if you don’t get the hookup with her that night, who is put in a more uncomfortable situation? If a girl comes to your bar, and gives you attitude, do you have to make any changes? Nope—you’re in your spot and can do what you normally do while telling her to fuck off. But if you go to a cheesy club to meet her, and she is dancing with some guy, who will be the one having regrets? Not her, that’s for sure.

Either set a proper one-on-one date or make her come to you. You will be severely punished when you run around for a chick, without fail.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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Tampa
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Tampa
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Rock solid advice right here.

LatinStylez
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Hey Roosh,

I like this advice and I think it is true that you should have girls meet you at the venue your at. Having them come to you is very powerful. If a girl invites me to a bar she’s at, I won’t go unless I already had plans to go there. You never know what obstacles could be in your path if you go to “her venue” of choice.

LS

The G Manifesto
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I get your vibe here, but honestly I think you are way over analyzing this.

“do not leave your spot to meet up with a girl. She must come to you.”

I have never even given this any thought before. I just go to wherever is easiest and best, could be where I am at, where she is at or another spot.

Swooping girls isn’t always a constant power struggle where you can never give an inch. It is about making it happen as easily as possible.

The key is these situations is that You actually meet up. If you have strong Game everything should work out from there.

Plan for success.

“If a girl comes to your bar, and gives you attitude, do you have to make any changes? Nope—you’re in your spot and can do what you normally do while telling her to fuck off. But if you go to a cheesy club to meet her, and she is dancing with some guy, who will be the one having regrets? Not her, that’s for sure.”

That, on the contrary, is planning for failure.

– MPM

Fireworks56
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If you’re a one night stand master you’ll definitely notice this kind of testing AFTER you already had sex with her. Certain girls will feel the need to revalidate themselves after the genie is out of the bottle – and test you in some sort of weird dating backwards psychology test for reasons only known to her. It takes self-restraint to not play back and get mired in the muck of feeding her drama machine – having a spine and lucid mind helps.

outlaw josey wales
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outlaw josey wales
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Executive summary: you must lead the girl.

Solo
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Solo
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I could have used this advice a month ago when I was dealing with a girl like that. Long story short we texted back and forth she hinted of us possibly hooking up. I meet up with her outside the venue and she basically disses me in front of her friends pretending not to know me. I probably still could have got with her but my pride got in the way

EEH

NEXT!

Firepower
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Firepower
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Some MPUAG (one of the few authentic ones)stated truthfully: Texting was but one more unnecessary step for her to suck up additional attention.

But, telling that to those who use the pinnacle of VOICE communication (4g cellphones) to scribe is pointless.

Atavism personified.

Workshy Joe
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Rock solid advice.

virlge kent
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standing and clapping, this post was pure truth

Skeletor
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Skeletor
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Excellent tip.

I’d go one further and add: use this exact same technique on them i.e., invite multiple girls to a venue you’re already at to test their interest levels.

Advantages:

1. Social proof if more than one of them shows up. If any one girl doesn’t show up, you haven’t lost anything.
2. It allows you to test THEIR interest level.
3. If they do show up, play dumb. It will appear as though you’re a social guy for whom meetups with multiple women is normal. Which it is.
4. Jealousy plotlines. For many girls the moment they feel that pang of jealousy is the same moment they realize they’re attracted. Many who probably would’ve been bitches in any other scenario, may find themselves working for your attention without fully realizing why.

Doing this requires balls to withstand the ensuing awkwardness and potential drama. Also, it may have a slight unethical feeling to it. Stick to your guns. Women do this without the slightest guilt.

vicen
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vicen
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A girl did the same to me recently. Very good advice.

spinaroonie
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spinaroonie
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Good post.

The 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology – namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating. Yet most PUA material, the DJ Bible, Book of Pook etc. was developed in the late 90s/early 2000s, before smartphones and Facebook. IMO PUA/DJ theory hasn’t kept pace with the evolution of communications technology, especially now that the “seduction community” has morphed into the “seduction industry”.
 
IMO all the growth in technology has had a negative effect on game. Simply, girls today have too many distractions and too many options. When was the last time you saw an attractive young woman traveling alone without iPod earpods, or peering down at her smartphone, or without a cell phone glued to her ear?
 
There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something. You’d call her home and she’d pick up, you’d have an actual phone conversation, and you’d set up a date. Seems like something from the Jurassic period, but the older guys here will attest to this.
 
Now it’s 2011. How many threads have we read here where a guy seemingly has a great interaction with a girl in a club and gets the number, only to have the girl screen out his call or ignore his texts the next day? “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff.
 
It’s funny to read guys in here still crowing about getting numbers. Fellas, numbers means nothing. Girls today give out their number like candy on Halloween. How many of those numbers are translating to dates and lays?

Mike
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Mike
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This is some high-level guru shit, as it’s advice for even experienced guys. Posts like this keep me reading…As there’s always something to learn here.

Paul
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Paul
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beautiful…simply beautiful

turk112
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turk112
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I think it goes further than that. If you see a girl you know across the room and she waves and motions for you come say “hi,” it’s best to motion for her to come to you instead.

“Swooping girls isn’t always a constant power struggle”

Maybe not constant – just 95% of the time or so.

John Smith
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John Smith
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Good advice. But doesn’t the act of texting a girl after 11pm let her know that she’s a backup option?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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G Man, your a fuking loser, quit giving canned answers and get off the Internet and go play outside for a change. Hahah, your always among te first ones to post coments, you have no fuking life other than what you read on blogs, GTFU!

Squared
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Squared
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Outstanding advice. I never thought of it that way, and I can see now how this exact issue played an instrumental part in past failures.

Anon77
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Anon77
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Spot on with this post. I’ve been on the receiving end of that trap plenty of times. Sad but true

Phoenix
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Phoenix
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I got 2 stories in my past that contradict this theory.
-One girl invited me out to her college bar plenty of times, and I met her friends. This girl had broken up with her engaged boyfriend at the time, and gave me a few IOIs. Her friends hardly talked to me, and allowed me to have fun with her. (her rating = 7)
-Another girl from work invited me out once a week for a few months, with some other co-workers present. This girl just broke up with her boyfriend too, and the IOIs were also there. She DID flirt with other guys, but I was obvilious to jealousy because I didn’t know she was playing around. (Her rating = 6.5)

–> These 2 instances happened when I was a Beta bitch. I hadn’t studied game yet. They never ended up fucking around or hooking up with other guys, because they kept focused on me, waiting for a move. I still think about it to this day, but don’t regret it since I would rather do my own approaches and claim the girls I want to have sex with.

But I tell you what – if a girl that I’m interested in pulls this shit on me, I won’t like it one damn bit. I’ll make her plan backfire when I get a few numbers, or make out and take home another girl infront of her. Stupid bitch like that should know well enough not to fuck with a man’s emotions. The end result = automatic disqualification.

SN2
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SN2
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This advice also depends on the age of the girl.

If a teen/early 20s girl tells you to come to her then it’s more than likely a trap. Younger girls usually go out in larger groups so your presence will be diluted by all the other geeks she surrounds herself with that night.

With an older girl you can be more confident that your appearance at her venue will get you a little farther with her because they tend to travel in smaller groups.

Just a general rule, I guess.

Yellow Kid Weil
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Yellow Kid Weil
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I’m inclined to agree with MPM. If the bar you are at is “lame”, why would you want to stay there just to assert your dominance over a woman? Worst case scenario you either go somewhere else or find someone else.

Danny K
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Danny K
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Peter
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Peter
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Rock fucking solid advice. This exact thing happened to me on new years. I was partying with a bunch of friends at a bar and a girl I wanted to bang kept texting me all night to see where I was while telling me to come to her friend’s apartment (I figured this meant she wanted to hook up). I took the bait and went and found her alone with four cockblocking girls. The bright side was I didn’t have to go far to meet her and I realized I had made a mistake, cut my losses and got the hell out of there after 15 minutes. I haven’t spoken to her since and I won’t make that mistake again.

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madmax
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madmax
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excellent