Maybe It Doesn’t Really Get Better Than This

There are two paths you naturally gravitate towards if you want to have sex with a girl more than once. The first path is to pursue a casual relationship where you see her between 1-3 times a week to hang out at the bar, restaurant, park, seaside, cinema, theater, cupcake shop, or so on before having sex. The relationship doesn’t increase in emotional weight as time goes on, and you both are satisfied with the sexual arrangement for the short term until either of you finds something better or more novel. The second path is one of increasing deepening and commitment. You take trips together, she spends more nights over at your place, you become boyfriend/girlfriend, she moves in with you, you get married, have kids, and then get divorced.

I’m not sure if most men learn game for its purely sexual rewards as described in the first case or for long-term relationships like in the second, but chances are that if you’re reading me, you’re more after sex than commitment. Most of my game efforts for the past 13 years have been the same, and only lately have I pursued longer term relationships—but only slightly—as I find less value in one-night stands or sex with girls less than a couple times. But since emotion and love are not important to me, I find even mini-relationships to be somewhat pointless, mere sexual distractions, since my investment into her is small. She remains only a trivial addition to my life.

I still greatly enjoy sex with women, but if I’m going to maintain a steady state relationship with a girl where the pattern is a 1-3 hour hangout followed by sex and no more, it will become boring. Maybe I could try getting more creative with date ideas, but having sex alone with a girl without deepening it in some way makes the relationship nothing more than basic entertainment that adds no lasting value. We’re using each other for sexual and social benefits and it will likely not last longer than a couple months and that will be all.

Without some investment in terms of love or commitment, how much meaning can the mini-relationship possibly have? This is why it’s been so easy for me to walk away from these girls without regret or second-guessing my decision, and it’s not like girls are begging me either to come back to their city and resume our twice a week sex dates. She’s an easily replaceable sex toy and I’m her easily replaceable cock and there you have it—the pinnacle of modern relationships where both parties remain free and unburdened.

Recently I was on date ten or so with a girl and things were going well, but I wasn’t doing anything to advance the relationship. I started feeling like I was just wasting her time, and finding a replacement would at least give me a novelty boost of happiness. Maintaining a superficial relationship with one girl doesn’t seem to give much more happiness than one-night stands besides being able to raw dog more regularly, and if I wasn’t getting tired of clubs maybe I’d still prowl them four times a week since doing so simulates hunting and provides me with masculine pleasure. Or I could accept the biological destiny of procreating with hopefully the right woman. I did the former enough times that it adds little to my life and I don’t think the latter, of giving away my freedom, is the answer either.

In spite of being in the game as long as I have, I sometimes feel weird urges to turn the mini-relationship into a serious one, especially if I like the girl. I want to contact her more, see her more, and with the girl I mentioned above, I imagined how it would be like to actually live with her—not for having sex on demand but just pair bonding and growing old with someone. These beta commitment fantasies of mine always turn negative as I consider the loss of freedom and privacy with no strong advantage that makes the deal profitable for me. Mini-relationships and harem maintenance are nothing more than entertainment and serious relationships are drudgery, one step away from slavery. Both are unsatisfactory.

So what’s the answer? Is it eternal bachelorhood, of banging a handful of new girls each season, hopping from one new mini-relationship to the next, but achieving no depth or novelty in what you haven’t achieved before, or is it making what could be the biggest mistake of your life by knocking a girl up and riding the fatherhood roller coaster for the next 20 years? I could go out this weekend and hit it hard, maybe getting laid, but my intensive pursuit of sex in the past decade has sated me where I wouldn’t be upset if I failed. Or maybe the answer is that the happiness I have sought in women can’t be achieved at all, and whether I ride the slut carousel or settle down with one girl, I’ll still end up asking myself, “Is this it?”

Read Next: The Rise Of The Mini Relationship

169 Comments

  1. Derzu Uzala September 3, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Get married and then some mistress

    1. Kevin September 3, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      Two women sounds like a real headache.

      Theses today are anti male commie junk. I say marry one woman but if she does not meet your sexual needs as is her spousal duty- divorce. It’s very unethical for a woman to deny her husband sexual access and is a legitement reason for divorce. I even heard TD Jakes (famous televangelist) telling people to not treat your spouse that way- if they need sex, they need sex. It’s that simple.

      1. Jaaf September 3, 2014 at 7:51 pm

        In the West, the male is the loser in divorce.
        – Huge financial set back. In most cases, crippling.
        – You get alienated from your kids.
        – Social and emotional set back.
        So when your wife stops giving you that monthly handjob and you start thinking divorce, that’s probably what she actually wants. She gets a younger, richer version of you in a heartbeat.

      2. HawkWrites September 12, 2014 at 2:13 pm

        There’s a classic line from the old Disneyland ride Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland that goes: “Maybe you folks can tell me though: does gettin’ two women mean you’re the winner… or the loser? Heh, never could figure that one out!”

    2. Ray Wolf October 3, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      you need some real money – you pick the right girl for children, one that is relatively humble and doesn’t have all kinds of designs – and you set her up somewhere modest, a couple of grades up from her current status…… that’s NOT going to be your full time home…. you come and go as you please… you have to put time into it, of course but you also have to retreat for yourself.

      co-habitation with no where else to go is crap….. sometimes you need your peace for you……and problem is women in LTRs, want you around ceaselessly and pry your life wide open, so if you don’t have real work reasons for coming and going, she’s going to be a pain in the ass….

      thus you establish the relationship day one, with clear boundaries that include you being away for ‘work’ for chunks of time… after a while she will not question where you are going……

      you put in just enough time, money and effort to keep the happy home, wife and kids ticking along so it’s always there for you….. and you spend enough time away ‘on business’ to be able to carry on doing your own thing.

      i had a friend once and it turned out he had kids (and on going relationships) with two different women and a girlfriend and no girl knew about the other…. he bounced around between the three of them according to what suited…..

      with just a little organization and careful planning you can have the best of all worlds…. be single and be married.

  2. JackBlack23 September 3, 2014 at 9:35 am

    “In spite of being in the game as long as I have, I sometimes feel weird urges to turn the mini-relationship into a serious one, especially if I like the girl.”

    That feeling is not “weird” but actually perfectly natural …

    ” … ‘one-itis’ in game is another word for pair-bonding, and all game practitioners would acknowledge it exists, which is why they take measures to ensure that pair-bonding does not occur. I believe that females pair-bond as well, but as with the bond between child and parent where the parents bonds are stronger than the child’s, between men and women it is also the man’s bonds that are stronger than the females, and it is this way for natural, reproductive/survival purposes.”

    1. Anon. September 4, 2014 at 4:34 am

      The answer here is obvious, he is falling into a common player trap. Just like sluts become unable to bond, the same applies to men who have desensitized themselves to any kind of human emotion.

      Emotion is the end-goal of life. Feeling. We go after money to buy things that give us feeling. We go after women to get feeling, no matter how fleeting. You choose what that feeling is, and how intense it is. It can either be a passing itch in your dick, or something a bit more intense. Just remember the girl you met in Brazil, and the girl you met in Odessa. Do you not learn from experience?

      1. tman2000 September 7, 2014 at 10:51 pm

        I don’t know about that. Women don’t seem comfortable with the level of affection that’s necessary for this emotional relationship you’re describing unless they’ve really really built a special emotional trust with you. This takes a very long time, and involves special circumstances. Usually, it’s the result of being a virgin and then staying with that first person.

        Women don’t have what it takes to stay to invest a little trust in the short run to build the necessary trust in the long run. And there’s one real reason: hypergamy. Whatever is the highest value male that woman ever received attention from, her mind is now wired to simply not feel fulfilled by anything lower ever again.

        Her morals and goals will never matter, because nothing can replace the sensation of feeling attraction to a man, and that attraction becomes more and more scarce. It’s the problem of the age, because though most women would never admit to this behavior, what could they do about it if they did. They can’t cause themselves to feel attraction.

        It’s not a matter of men not being able to bond. Men will chase tail, but are provably emotionally loyal to conscientious kind women in their lives. It’s women that have trouble reciprocating that bond.

      2. Alex December 11, 2016 at 11:25 am

        Exactly.

        All those people who claim that male promiscuity has no effects on divorce rates and marriage happiness, just pull that shit out of their asses. They focus only on the woman’s promiscuity and how it makes her more likely to get a divorce when she gets married. This is true, just as multiple studies show.

        But there are no studies for male promiscuity because many people wrongly assume, that because men aren’t as emotional, the ability for a man to effectively pair bond is not affected by his past sexual history. Absolute bullshit.

        Anyway, the reality is that it will be too late before a lot of men (players?) realize this, and then they are left unfulfilled asking the world: “what next?”

  3. EEProgrammer September 3, 2014 at 10:01 am

    – I am an obese 33-year-old freelance programmer living in Eastern Europe, working very hard every day on advancing my financial and business situation to the point where I don’t have to work every day (or even every week) anymore. Right now I am very close to that goal, and with any luck, I should get there within the next month or two, and then I can start eating properly and exercising regularly in order to get myself to look like a man.

    I also happen to have the good fortune of being able to function without sex for three to four months, before it gets really bad and then I go after women.

    I say women – I go after divorced 40-something women because in this part of Europe many such women are still quite attractive, and they still remember what it means to be a woman for the most part – and not girls, because most girls I ever got involved with wanted a serious relationship leading to marriage.

    Not only that, but these girls were actively trying to prevent me from getting ahead. Commitment and marriage are far less of a problem to me than the girl actively trying to keep me down.

    Every single one of them had tried to brainwash me into believing that her pussy and her biological clock is more important than anything in my life that actually belongs to me – such as my dreams, goals, and mission in life. What a joke. I guess they thought that if I were to get too far ahead it would take me out of their league or something.

    This is in fact true – but that just goes to show that in the early 21st century, the interests of a woman are in direct opposition to those of a man. There are no two ways about that.

    So she tries to keep me down, because then I’ll stay down where she is, and she’ll be able to turn me into her own personal slave. And if I were to actually rise up and succeed with my life mission and goals – then I would leave her because she wouldn’t be good enough to follow me.

    I’m having none of that crap. That’s where the divorced MILFs come in (because I cannot allow myself to knowingly have sex with a married woman). They are okay for sex once a month or more often if our schedules allow – and then I can get back to work.

    My message to you, Roosh, is this: try to find a life mission that’s about you and only you. A life mission which does not involve – or depend on – women. Women should be the salad and the desert – they must never be the main dish, because no matter how great the main dish is, if it contains women it will eventually turn sour, and there is no way around that.

    1. SwedishParsnip September 3, 2014 at 10:12 am

      Bless you and well done on your efforts on the career front.

      1. EEProgrammer September 3, 2014 at 10:46 am

        Thanks. 🙂

    2. JJ September 3, 2014 at 11:59 am

      EE programmer-
      What countries are the older women that attractive in?

      In America even young girls are looking old and too heavy. The US has biological toxins in its diet.

      1. EEProgrammer September 3, 2014 at 6:35 pm

        I live in Serbia, and over here, women who have good genes, don’t smoke, and take care of themselves – can really look good even into their late 40s.

        I’m sure it’s not much different in Hungary or Bosnia or Croatia, or even Bulgaria…

      2. Johnny September 4, 2014 at 3:39 pm

        EE Programer-
        Any advice for the red pill man stuck in a hell hole like America on how to net 3k/month and be location independent?
        Join the Roosh V Forum and Private message me- I’d gladly
        Pay you for quality consulting to find a way out of this feminazi gulag Country. America is a living hell for me- I need a way out.
        Drop your Roosh forum name and well go from there.

    3. Roosh_V September 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      Why can’t you start eating properly now?

      1. Vallejo Hombre September 3, 2014 at 1:38 pm

        Roosh you need to settle the debate once and for all and lay out a clear,
        logical plan as to how the obese can loose weight for real.

      2. Broseph September 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm

        How about you just take personal accountability for your own health and stop relying Roosh to solve your personal problems.
        What do overweight people need to know about losing weight? Stop eating junk food. Go out and exercise. This info has been around for centuries.

        I have no sympathy for fat people. It is a dysfunction that is completely brought on by the individual, much like alcoholism.

        Fat people have nothing but excuses for being fat. Every single fat person I’ve ever met has the same excuses. I cannot respect fat people. I’ve seen too much of their mental hamstering over the years to give them any benefit of the doubt.

        But I’m sure in your case, your obesity is genetic, right?

      3. Vallejo Hombre September 3, 2014 at 5:09 pm

        I’m actually not a fat guy. Vallejo is in California. How many fat Californians do you know? It’s better than most of the US and if anyone doesn’t believe that search California zip codes and then compare them to other zip codes.

        The content should cover that issue of obesirt and fitness as its discussed a lot here. If Roosh could help out the Lindey Wests of the World then We could all be happier.

        You sound very insecure and bitter as conclusory as your logic is. Just relax and tell someone you love them as its hard to hold onto hatred when expressing love to others. The ego is detrimental to the whole process as well. I know Roosh pushes fat girls buttons to promote the blog and all but that’s a demographic that could use authentic addressing.’Rooshs next book could be “Roosh V-Get Fit For Game”.

      4. Guest September 3, 2014 at 8:54 pm

        I agree about fat people. This is far too simple. I get tired of the bullshit arguments and excuses about why people are fat and I call people out on it.

      5. tman2000 September 7, 2014 at 10:59 pm

        Obesity is a huge problem because of the way fat cells and hunger hormones interact. It’s not easy to deal with, and being indifferent is just a symptom of ignorance about the difficulties involved. It’s a good argument, at least, for never letting yourself get fat in the first place.

        Still, people quit smoking, and drugs. It’s all doable. Especially for men who can build muscle easier than women. Even if you can’t fight your appetite, you can make yourself go workout and build muscle, which will help immensely.

        So, I agree that fat people who don’t work out vigorously are just making excuses. But, slow progress and trouble with appetite need to be acknowledged as part of the struggle.

        There is also that emotional thing that most fat people deal with having to do with not feeling like they deserve social validation anyway so they might as well be fat. This is a larger problem, one which we need to man up about, because the emotional validation thing is a problem for all modern society. Fundamentally, we men are the ones to fix it, and so as corollary we men should not be fat.

      6. CardinalMethod September 3, 2014 at 11:44 pm

        Lift weights four days a week, walk five to nine miles every day, and consume mainly protein. Not a big secret, people trying to sell you shit just seem to make it more confusing and difficult. If you spend four hours a week lifting, and ten hours walking, while ensuring two of your meals are protein centered, you won’t have the time or urge to satisfy negative compulsions. Find some good podcasts to occupy your mind while you walk.

      7. Col. Kurtz September 5, 2014 at 3:23 am

        Eat a plant based diet, low in carbs. The fat melts off of you with no effort, the nutrient inputs to your body are off the charts, your skin glows, you feel amazing physically and mentally, and your risk for lifestyle diseases (diabetes, heart disease, cancer, immune disorders, etc. etc.) is massively reduced.

        It’s as simple as getting a Vitamix, filling it full of greens and fruit, blending it up and drinking it down every day. Do that for two months and you’ll be looking at a better man in the mirror.

        Some will say to eat lots of protein. Plants are more protein dense than meat so you can get all the protein you want on a plant based diet, though the western diet contains way more protein than the body can actually use. If you’re skewing your meals to be heavy in animal tissue calories you’re missing out on the innumerable vitamins, antioxidants and phytonutrients, not to mention the fiber, that a plant based diet provides.

      8. Brian September 5, 2014 at 8:45 am

        Actually, try a KETOGENIC diet to lose weight, stay in shape and keep healthy: High saturated fat, moderate protein, and very low carbs:

        http://www.ketogenic-diet-resource.com

      9. tickletik September 5, 2014 at 4:32 am

        Livestrong.com

        Free, and has everything you need. Follow the workouts religiously and you’ll succeed

      10. EEProgrammer September 3, 2014 at 6:10 pm

        Or, if I really want to be honest with myself and with you – a lack of willpower that I don’t know how to overcome. So this is the way way in which I am trying to overcome it. To get myself to where I don’t have to work anymore, and then to start eating properly and exercising because my work is really demanding.

      11. Root September 4, 2014 at 4:39 pm

        The way you think is understandable given the pressure you work under and your goals, but it is a while loop, until you get there. Age is a one way street; limited number of iterations.

        Try 5×5 Stronglifts/ Rippetoes and eat protein. It usually only takes 3 – 5 hours a week depending on how how hard you’re willing to push.

        Don’t feed the beta hamster with excuses. It will grow and then take over you.

    4. DH September 3, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      Very well spoken. But be careful. All the financial freedom in the world means nothing if your health is suffering. Do not neglect your body, your temple, in the pursuit of ambitions. Make time for your health and fitness. You want to be young, rich, & healthy. Not young, rich, and sick.

      1. DH September 3, 2014 at 4:56 pm

        And the best to you in your business. You will get to the top.

      2. EEProgrammer September 3, 2014 at 5:53 pm

        Thank you. Yes, I was thinking about that. I start trying to exercise and to eat properly, and then I just end up feeling too good to be able to concentrate on work.

        And just then my clients load me up with work… Oh well – if all goes well, I’ll be retiring within a month or two… 🙂

      3. j September 4, 2014 at 5:49 am

        Your mentality is completely wrong. I used to think the same way. If I reach goal A, then I will have time to work out and get healthy. The problem is something else always comes up. You will push you health goals further and further back. You need to have a better work life balance and start taking care of your health now. Once your health is gone, no amount of time or money is worth anything.

      4. EdwardJi September 4, 2014 at 7:03 am

        It seems that you are aware that you are making empty excuses for your health, which is the most valuable thing in your life. You know that going from obese to toned can take years of dedicated effort and postponing it will only make it harder. You know that it takes negligible effort to fix your diet and beginning an exercise program of daily walking, in order to shed those first few kilos, is within anyone’s reach. You can listen to audiobooks etc or make business calls as you walk.

        If you’re serious about fixing your relationship with your body, I suggest seeking professional help from a cognitive behavioural therapist. Obesity is a symptom of mental disorders on the addiction spectrum. By addiction, I mean that the pleasure-reward seeking system in a person’s brain (which is instinctively ‘addicted’ to forming habits that promote our survival) has been trained to form habits that result in disease. Your willpower is not the root of the problem and is the wrong tool to fix it. You need to learn new habits, which is very hard to do without the help of someone who can guide you and keep you on track. By all means get a book on CBT, but try your best to find a CBT therapist with experience in eating disorders. Good luck.

      5. John September 4, 2014 at 3:13 pm

        Eat an apple and drink a pint of water every time you feel hungry.
        Drink as much water as possible and if you have to have fizzy drinks, have diet only. Better still is sparkling water. Try and eat high quality umami with natural yoghurt for breakfast so you start the day feeling full.

        Whatever your ‘vice food’ is, replace it with something healthy/healthier, so the small changes result in a larger reduction in calories.
        Chocolate bars = chocolate protein shakes/bars
        Fried breakfast = scrambled eggs, turkey rashers, whole grain toast
        Soda = diet soda or sparkling water
        Cookies = protein cookies
        McDonald’s = chicken and throw the buns
        Crisps = biltong

      6. EEProgrammer September 4, 2014 at 6:41 pm

        John,

        Thank you very much for this advice. I have copied it and pasted into a Word file on my computer and saved it. It will definitely come in handy.

      7. bucky September 7, 2014 at 2:12 am

        cultivate a strong feeling of shame about your obesity. because it is shameful. once you’ve come to feel sufficiently ashamed of your bloated, unmanly, disgusting body, you’ll figure out what works best for you to get lean and athletic, and you’ll follow through and do the work to lose the weight.

        hint: eat a lot, but only healthy things. being hungry is not helpful.

    5. Dunkerbeck September 6, 2014 at 2:46 am

      I think Roosh’s life was about his experience with women, now it has been about selling his experience with women. Maybe he is done with it, then he should move on…

    6. Nick September 9, 2014 at 5:13 am

      Is working hard to not have to work hard in the future your life mission? I’m confused by all the up votes you’ve gotten, especially given the fact that you’re self-admittedly obese and pursuing women 20 years past their prime. You shouldn’t be giving out advice.

    7. Captain Courageous November 28, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      EEProgrammer your life ahead will be a great experience !
      Unlike too many males, you’ve worked out an enabling strategy.
      Even in my 20’s I actively “hunted” for the mid 30’s to late 40’s women, they were the ripened fruit willing to devoured.

  4. Charles Vermont September 3, 2014 at 10:16 am

    It is natural to feel this way as you get older.

    What isn’t natural is today’s SMP — uncontrolled hamsters, anti-male Family Law, crap culture and female entitlements amuck. All these factors get in the way of what used to be basic male/female relations (for better or worse).

    Thus, “the loss of freedom and privacy with no strong advantage that makes the deal profitable” is completely logical vis-a-vis today’s SMP.

    “Or maybe the answer is that the happiness I have sought in women can’t be achieved at all…”

    Don’t seek happiness in other people. Seek it through self-improvement and making (the right) other people happy. Then, it will come around.

    1. Offended? September 3, 2014 at 10:42 am

      If I could upvote this a million times i would.

    2. Mofo September 3, 2014 at 11:25 am

      Yep, find something you are passionate about that has nothing to do with being a clown for women, and then throw yourself into it. The women will still be there whenever you want them.

      1. Painful Rectal Itch September 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm

        Thanks. I’ll do that, good sir.

  5. Flavinous September 3, 2014 at 10:57 am

    You’re in a catch 22.

    These longings for a relationship are your biological clock telling you to procreate. Problem is you’re not so young anymore and if you become a father now it would be devastating to you as you’d lose your carefree lifestyle. Plus your business model is based on being a bachelor. So it would mean finding another way to earn a living. But on the other hand, if you don’t, the longing is going to worse and worse.

    So you’re in catch 22, learn to live with it.

    1. Broseph September 3, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      Dealing with women is the ultimate catch 22. There is no way to win. Sometimes you make gains and temporarily get what want or need, but that’s where it ends.

      There is no happily ever after, in life or love. Gotta accept it, then at some point embrace it.

      1. Thelatentsadist September 3, 2014 at 5:55 pm

        Having loved a few women thus far, I’ve come to the same belief. The women I’ve loved the most were the quickest out of my life. The manosphere likes to call it oneitis, but we shouldn’t cast this phenomenon in such a shameful light. You’ll notice non of the major bloggers ever admitting to knowing how to keep women you love. Love is inherently unstable, and has been so throughout history. Novels movies from as far back as you can find have tales of “oneitis”. Love is like playing with drugs….it usually ends and the letdown from the high is brutal. I think we ought to just acknowledge the fleeting nature of love and not advocate player life as “the only way to go” in a shaming way…because the player lifestyle only acknowledges the reality that women come and go.

      2. Captain Courageous November 28, 2014 at 5:51 pm

        You’ve hit it in the right place, good wrap !

    2. invisiblehand85 October 17, 2014 at 4:29 pm

      Illegitimate offspring then abandoning. Find places where there is no legal recourse. It’s nature’s way. It goes on all the time in the world–alphas siring and abandoning offspring and mothers. Those are nature’s true alpha males.

      Otherwise it’s either eternal, childless bachelorhood or give in and commit. I’m not okay with either.

      It’s the only solution to the procreation dilemma.

  6. Atlanta Man September 3, 2014 at 11:40 am

    I look at it like this, focus on your money and find a main girl whom you can trust for when you want to have kids. Do not marry her but “wifey” her, it keeps her on her toes. Have a second apartment in the city, do your other women and hang out with your friends there. Shied your assets but take proper care of your children and your ” wifey”. That is the players endgame in my eyes.

    1. Jaaf September 3, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      Married or unmarried is legally exactly the same if you have kids with a female in the West, she’s got you by the balls. You’re the one on your toes, not her. Kids change everything.

  7. Rollo Tomassi September 3, 2014 at 11:47 am

    You should read this Roosh:
    http://therationalmale.com/2013/08/29/as-good-as-it-gets/

    As Good as it Gets

    So where does that leave us? Back in 2003 Tom Leykis once had a great rant about how being an unmarried man, spinning plates in his mid-twenties to mid-thirties, was as good as it gets. I’m beginning to think this was more than a bit prophetic. I’ve written six individual post about the various aspects of Plate Theory, and although I presented the options for both a continued plate spinning plan and a path, at least, towards monogamy from plate theory, I’m starting to wonder if a continued, indefinite, commitment-ambiguity isn’t simply as good as it gets for men today.

    […]

    But what if as good as it gets is simply entertaining a succession of non-committed, non-exclusive relationships? In essence, a sustainable plate spinning until such time as a woman demands committed monogamy, and then she’s replaced with a new plate and the cycle continues.

    1. Ray Wolf October 3, 2014 at 9:22 pm

      the problem is that replacing them, gradually becomes tedious and it’s certainly time consuming… even keeping a casual relationship on tap can involve lots of distraction and effort, endless (boring) dates and etc.

      make some money, support a wife and kids and setup a sugar daddy situation on the side…

  8. Dawson Stone September 3, 2014 at 11:52 am

    I have an alternative suggestion. If I had to do it over again I think this is how I would do it. You are a decent looking guy and I am sure very charming.

    Surely you must have met a woman or 2 over the years that contacted you after you stopped dating and asked you to father a child with her. I have had 4 in total ask me to do this.

    The one that would have made the most sense was the first girl I had sex with after I got separated from my now ex-wife. She was 29 at the time, beautiful, was a professional dancer and had her own modern dance studio for kids and made a nice income. She was AMAZING with kids, smart, fun and quite a good lover. We dated for a month and I was honest and told her I couldn’t give her what she needed. She wanted a serious relationship and I was going through a divorce. We remained friends (not FWB but just friends) and emailed and texted now and then.

    Seven or eight years later she called me (she never called me) and told me her and her bf of two years had just broken up and she simply was out of time to meet the right guy and have kids with him…so she was going to have a kid on her own. She wanted sperm from a person she knew and not an anonymous donor.

    She had even gone as far as to have legal documents drawn up stating I would have no financial or parenting responsibility (although she was happy to include me in the child’s life if that was what I wanted). Since she had given this so much thought I respectfully asked her for 24 hours to consider it. She joked I could donate my sperm “the old fashion way” or through a doctor…my choice. We laughed and hung up.

    Honestly, if it wasn’t for me already having a daughter I would have done it. She had great genes, didn’t need money from me and was going to be a great mom. My problem (that you don’t have) is that I couldn’t do that to my current daughter. It seemed cruel and unfair.

    Find that woman that wants your baby but not you! Then you can be a Dad and either control the costs or potentially eliminate them altogether plus remain totally single. The nicest part about this approach is that instead of being the asshole that married and dumped her with a kid you are the GREAT GUY that was kind enough to do something unorthodox and provide your seed. Everyone wins. Fuck if only I had a time machine!

    1. Mofo September 3, 2014 at 11:59 am

      This honestly seems to be the worst of all possible worlds. I have no children of my own but I too have been asked several times to be a “donor” for women I know. I had to decline each one, because the thought of having offspring but not having daily input into their raising, yet still being on the hook financially should the woman later change her mind about single motherhood, made my blood run cold.

      1. Dawson Stone September 3, 2014 at 12:21 pm

        You can cover both of those issues with agreements in advance of agreeing to father the child.

      2. Mofo September 3, 2014 at 1:08 pm

        The first issue is a practical consideration, not a contractual one. The second is likely unenforceable. You cannot, in any state that I know of, contract away an acknowledged paternity. If she changes her mind and can no longer care for the child, guess what, you are on the hook, contract or no contract.

      3. Dawson Stone September 3, 2014 at 1:22 pm

        I agree there are always risks but the co-parenting is enforceable. And yup, if she dies, becomes incapacitated, etc. you are going to have to care for the child. But I assume if you want to have a child that would be what you would want.

      4. Mofo September 3, 2014 at 1:40 pm

        What I don’t want is limited input into a child’s formative years and then, bam, full responsibility once that child has largely been raised by someone else (and likely her succession of boyfriends as well). A co-parenting agreement may be “enforceable” but if the child is not actually living under your roof, you are not actually raising that child. I think you gotta either go all in on parenting or go your own way–I have opted for the latter. Half-assing it is asking for trouble and fucked-up kids even in a best-case scenario.

      5. Dawson Stone September 3, 2014 at 3:36 pm

        I have lived separately from my daughter since she was 1 and haven’t half-assed my parenting at all. My daughter is happy and well adjusted, a good athlete, straight A student, appreciative, respectful and kind.

        Your points are of course totally valid. My point was that if one WAS going to have a child you at least don’t risk loss of assets, a costly and painful divorce, being the “asshole” that divorced her, alimony, etc. Having a child is a huge risk regardless as they can also health, mental and emotional issues having nothing to do with their upbringing.

        i was saying if I had to do it again (and I love being a Dad) that’s how I would do it. Risks? Sure. But way better than the normal marriage, divorce path.

      6. SUPRA luca September 9, 2014 at 8:06 am

        “My daughter is happy and well adjusted, a good athlete, straight A student, appreciative, respectful and kind.”
        No, by the men on this site your daughter is just an evil cunt who is irrational and inferior like all girls/women and who is soon to be a dirty slut riding the alpha cock carousel. She will use men, be hypergamic and always cheat. No woman is kind, they just fake very well. Women should be subjugated too, so you better teach her to be a subordinate and submissive woman. Being a good athlete and student (which is a lie, as women are all dumb and illogical) is worthless – women are supposed to be married, raise their kids and obey their men, not have a voice in the world.

      7. Dawson Stone September 9, 2014 at 2:07 pm

        lol. Wow. Hate much.

        My daughter won’t need to use men because I have taken care of her financially. She will be with a man only because she wants to be, not because she needs to be. This frees her up to be a fantastic human being that isn’t worried about her survival or the survival of her child(ren)

        You sound like a sociopath. Good luck with that.

      8. Painful Rectal Itch September 3, 2014 at 2:31 pm

        “You can cover both of those issues with agreements in advance of agreeing to father the child.”

        You’re a fucking idiot.

      9. Dawson Stone September 3, 2014 at 3:31 pm

        lol. From the guy that thinks “religion can play a vital role to a mans spiritual development” I will take that as a compliment.

    2. Jay September 3, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      well now imagine that one day somebody told such story but you was that child…. now what you think???

      1. Jaaf September 3, 2014 at 10:13 pm

        Dawson, you make a good point but the risk is extremely high. You were apparently just very lucky. Most women vilify the father of their child until the child is brainwashed and cannot but secretly or openly resent his/her father.

      2. Dawson Stone September 3, 2014 at 11:35 pm

        Sadly I wasn’t that lucky. I had a really rough 3 years after we split where I had to constantly undo the damage my ex-wife inflicted. But it eventually backfired and as a result my daughter adores me. To be fair, I made pretty herculean efforts to be in her life and ultimately it worked out. My ex and I get along well now but it was hard fought.

        I wonder if we had a child but were never married if I could have skipped that 3 year nightmare.

    3. invisiblehand85 October 17, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      I’m extremely interested in this.

      Possible to get in touch?

  9. Roberto September 3, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Roosh
    Have you ever been with blondes as fine as prime years Jenny McCarthy?

    1. Roosh_V September 3, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      Yes

      1. Hugo September 3, 2014 at 1:41 pm

        What cities did you find girls of that caliber?

  10. Nomad77 September 3, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    You may be missing out on a certain type of relationship where you have really great “chemistry” with a girl. You can feel this the moment you meet her and it never decreases. These are the girls I seek and keep around. It’s hard to explain what being with these girls are like. You just have to experience it yourself. It’s not about sex or love or anything like that. And you can spend a lot of time with them and it doesn’t get boring. It’s like hanging out with a good guy friend you like but with sexual attraction thrown into the mix.

  11. Jalisco September 3, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    Author
    You’ve discussed you Dad and step brother who is young. How old was your Dad when he had you and him?
    What’s a realistic maximum age a man should have a kid at?

    1. Roosh_V September 3, 2014 at 1:04 pm

      He was in his mid 20’s.

      I’m the last man you should ask about fatherhood.

    2. Broseph September 3, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      My dad was 54 when my youngest brother was born. A healthy man can put off fatherhood for quite some time, within reason of course. I would not recommend having kids in your 60s. Even a healthy man in his 60s will not have the energy to deal with young children.

      1. asshole September 3, 2014 at 10:34 pm

        I don’t have the energy to deal with children, and i’m in my twenties.

      2. Science September 4, 2014 at 6:30 am

        Actually studies are being to show that there is a link between advanced paternal age and autism, Down Syndrome, and schizophrenia. Also as a man ages the sperm usually have a decrease in both count and mobility. The idea that a man has perfect reproductive capability from puberty to death is largely a myth. Sure there have been cases of super old men having kids, just like sometimes a 50 year old woman gets pregnant. Current studies show that most men by 55-60 cannot father a child. So yes you can put it off, and you run the risk.

      3. SUPRA luca September 9, 2014 at 8:13 am

        No men should EVER give his seed to procreation after their mid 30’s. He might be healthy, but his sperm is already trash. That is evolutionary failure. Too high of a risk of defection and will always bring slower, weaker offspring. Tell your idiotic dad I loathe him for his lack of responsibility and consideration for the human kind.

      4. Lai September 19, 2014 at 9:11 pm

        My father was 50 when he had me. I’ve a pretty strong academic record and I plan to swim the English channel next month.

  12. Christopher Bear September 3, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    hmmmmmm………..both sound fine to me

  13. Painful Rectal Itch September 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    ” You take trips together, she spends more nights over at your place, you become boyfriend/girlfriend, she moves in with you, you get married, have kids, and then get divorced.”

    Depressing but true how divorce will be inevitable.

  14. Painful Rectal Itch September 3, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    “But since emotion and love are not important to me, I find even mini-relationships to be somewhat pointless…”

    I almost envy you for your detachment, but I couldn’t go on without some kind of emotional aspect with a chick even if the fling is temporary. But I’m not stupid enough to believe in ‘love’.

    And your final question is something all men ask about life in general, so all I can say is welcome to the club.

    1. CardinalMethod September 3, 2014 at 11:35 pm

      Once you’ve had enough women, it’s easy to lose the desire to connect with them emotionally.

      1. Aaron September 5, 2014 at 7:29 am

        BULLSEYE. Happiness is always an option, you just have to define it for yourself & run with it.

  15. invisiblehand85 September 3, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    This is the best material on the internet

  16. JustMe September 3, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    You need Jesus. You sound completely disillusioned and detached from life and reality because your entire existence has been consumed by seeking hedonistic pleasures which will never fulfill a mans soul.

    1. Joe September 3, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      Yours right.

      Every man struggles with virtues of the Divine and the needs of the flesh. We
      all need validation from God and man and our pride gets in the way of both desires of our heart. I won’t lie- its a challenge.

    2. Broseph September 3, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      Give me a break. Completely detaching from reality via religion is the worst thing a person can do. It’s defeatism at it’s finest.

      “I can’t deal with life, so I will subscribe to ancient fairy tales in order to cope.”

      People who subscribe to literal interpretations of religion are dangerous, unstable, and to be avoided at all costs, especially those who are “born again.” They are telegraphing to the world that they have lost much of their sanity and are desperate for answers, real or imagined.

      1. Painful Rectal Itch September 3, 2014 at 2:27 pm

        “Give me a break. Completely detaching from reality via religion is the worst thing a person can do. It’s defeatism at it’s finest”

        Moderation in everything. I’m no holy roller but can see where religion can play a vital role to a mans spiritual development that a hairy clam that is attached to a self entitled hormonal driven pig cannot once you pump 2 liters of cum in her.

        That said, too much religion is not good either.

      2. Broseph September 3, 2014 at 2:33 pm

        That’s a reasonable analysis. Everything in moderation. I can see casually embracing certain aspects of a religion. Pick and choose which parts you like, throw out the others.

        I just see too many people completely run off the rails and dive headlong into religion and make it the focus of their collapsing life overnight. They fully and ignorantly embrace every aspect of the religion, desperately believing that it will somehow provide answers to their problems in life.

        When this occurs, they usually spiral further down the rabbit hole of mental illness, as most religions are very abstract and leave much to interpretation.

      3. Mofo September 3, 2014 at 2:46 pm

        Agree. I call myself a “cultural Christian” even though the divinity of Christ strikes me as patently absurd. You can hold traditional Christian values without believing they were doled out millennia ago on stone tablets by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. IMO, the current role of Christianity appears to be absolving directionless people of their sin, rather than its traditional role of providing a solid cultural foundation on which to better prevent sin to begin with.

      4. asshole September 3, 2014 at 10:37 pm

        “the current role of Christianity appears to be absolving directionless people of their sin, rather than its traditional role of providing a solid cultural foundation on which to better prevent sin to begin with.”

        I’m gonna steal this line from you.

      5. Infantry September 4, 2014 at 2:08 pm

        I think a lack of spirituality can be detrimental to any man’s life. Red Pill ideology promotes hyper-rational thought above all else, denigrating the spiritual and emotional into ‘traps’ that need to be avoided.

        If you go to far down that path, you lose much of what it means to be human and can fall into depression. Ask me how I know.

        I think non-denominational exploration of spirituality and defining the spiritual in whatever form makes sense to you is healthy and should be used to round out any Renaissance Man. Start with meditation and go from there.

      6. Mofo September 5, 2014 at 12:30 pm

        If by “spirituality” you mean quiet self-reflection, or taking solitary time to appreciate the wonders of nature or contemplate the infinite vastness of the physical universe, then I agree. But anything “spiritual” that relies on believing in made up stories seems to me to be wholly incompatible with Red Pill.

      7. Infantry September 6, 2014 at 2:34 pm

        That’s why I said to define it for yourself. Stripping away the ideology and religion from the practice of spirituality is perfectly ok and its what I do.

        If you manage to achieve what Buddhists would call ‘enlightenment’ through meditation though you might have a hard time accepting the experience as just a chemical reaction in your brain, even as you reject anyone else’s explanation for it.

  17. Broseph September 3, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    Being a lifelong player is too extreme. Getting married is the other extreme.

    Mini relationships or a casual girlfriend are really the only sensible options these days. Both situations can be complicated though.

    Mini relationships always end. Either the girl wants more, or she gets bored. Then you’re back into the pickup cycle, which is a pain in the ass.

    Being in a casual relationship is lame too, but not nearly as bad as marriage. I’ve been dating my GF for nearly 2 years. She’s ok. But it’s really boring now. We’ve had sex so many times that it’s really not fun or exciting anymore. Getting out of this thing would be a huge headache because we live together, I’ve interacted with her family, etc.

    You can’t have everything you want in life. Unfortunately, there will always be a need to compromise on some things.

    Who cares anyway? At the rate things are going, interacting with women in any capacity will be futile at best, dangerous to you in the worst case scenario.

    Mini relationships or casual monogamous relationships are the best option for most normal men.

  18. Mad Max September 3, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    I think a man’s life plan doesn’t have as much to do about what he does. It has more to do what he does at the time in his life in which he does it.

    For men 18 to early 20’s I would recommend they concentrate on education and work experience. At this age you can also mess around with woman, but I would recommend making that a secondary or even lower priority. (In fact, seeing colleges are booting out men every day on false rape accusations, you it might just be a good idea to forget about them altogether at this stage.)

    Once a man acquires his education, usually around age 23-25, he should focus equally on his career and women. This is where he builds not only his confidence and career, but his game and true understanding about the nature of women. A man at this stage should shy away from LTR’s.

    As a man comes to hit his 30th birthday he should start taking some time to reflect on what he would like in life. Some men would like children. Other men would like to build businesses and acquire power. Also, still at this point some men are not completely sure.

    If a man would like to have a family, he should then switch his priority over to find a woman to birth his children. She should be younger then him and a good match. I would also recommend at least a two year LTR before any consideration of the question of marriage. (I also see no problem with having children outside of wedlock, but I think if you do so you are asking for more legal and social problems then you are missing by not marrying.)

    Any man that takes this path should do his best to raise his children to be as strong and bright as their genetics will allow. Also any man that chooses this path should accept the downfalls with it. That will be a loss of his freedom and liberty and also a good 50% chance his marriage will at some point in time fail. That his why his concentration should be on his children and not his wife.

    If a man does not desire children the he should spend his 30’s and upward years focusing on developing something else that is permanent. That means building a strong business, becoming a pillar of the community, mentoring younger men, or something similar. If you are not going to build a family then at least build some sort of enduring societal institution.

    The man who takes this path also must accept some of it’s possible downfalls. Those are typically depression, loneliness, and regrets about not reproducing. That is why he must focus of building that enduring societal institution he would like to exist his natural days on earth.

    If a man does not know what path he should take come his early 30’s, then he should continue to focus on his career and women for at least a few more years while reflecting on the paths available to him or he will have to choose the default path which is bachelorhood. If that does happen then his only option is to descend into a life of emptiness or to attempt to build something of value by dedicating his time and effort toward it.

    I see these as the most logical paths that men can take to attain some kind of lifelong fulfillment. I would be curious what others think though.

    1. SUPRA luca September 9, 2014 at 8:21 am

      “In fact, seeing colleges are booting out men every day on false rape accusations”
      Yes, that is happening every single day. Uh hu.

  19. Clark Kent September 3, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    I think it is funny how when we call it “beta-dreams” it automatically sounds derogatory.

  20. Felix46 September 3, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Notice how the last four words at the end of the first paragraph aren’t a joke

  21. Drone12 September 3, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Roosh, read or reread Chapter 12 of the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

    1. Dylan September 4, 2014 at 1:12 am

      just read it – that was great. i recommend it roosh

  22. Luisaceo September 3, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Your whole life is shaped around chasing pussy, but after gathering so many notches and experiences, it’s obvious that you are not going to get the same happiness from repeating them. You need to start focusing on the bigger picture and find something different that motivates you.

    Even if you knock a girl up, it doesn’t mean that you’d need to marry her. Fatherhood is probably a natural step in a man’s life once he has his shit sorted (financially, maturely etc), which it seems that you do. Obviously having a kid would result in a loss of freedom, but not being tied up with a girl would mean you’d still be able to do many things you enjoy now (although it is true that kids usually grow up better in a traditional family environment). Alternatively, you could keep focusing on girls, but settling down in a particular city and enjoying it on a slower pace, making friends etc.

    You also might want to think on other ways of expanding your business (writing fiction books?) which you seem to be doing already through your youtube channel. Who knows, perhaps you’d benefit from doing something completely different like going to SEA and learning to surf, which you seemed to enjoy on A Dead Bat In Paraguay.

    Whatever you do, it clearly seems that chasing pussy over and over again in a nomadic fashion isn’t bringing you the happiness it once did. These are just suggestions that ultimately would result in women being just another part of your life, but yet again I’ve got no idea what it is to live a life like yours and your lifestyle seems ideal for me and most of your readers so I’m in no position to give advice.

  23. James Davidson September 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    I think the answer, ultimately, is to find fulfillment in yourself regardless of your situation. I was once engaged to a great girl who treated me like a king, but after six years together I broke up with her and ended the engagement because I was “bored” and wanted to play the field. That was fun for awhile and then that got boring. So I settled into a relationship with another girl for a couple years, then i got bored and broke up with her to continuing playing the field. Then that got bored and so on…. you get the idea. Figure out which path makes the sense, accept there are no perfect people and enjoy whatever path you choose to its fullest. The end.

  24. NYC Jeff September 3, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    Good lord. Pull your head out of your ass. You drone on and on and make things more complicated then they are. You exhibit clear signs of clinical depression and are estranged from some members of your family. Fix that with treatment, maybe meds, realize family very important, and you won’t be so needy and confused. Traveling and women r great, but if you have a huge hole in the middle of you they don’t solve that.

  25. Travis September 3, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    You are going to have to sacrifice….

  26. Black Truth September 3, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    In terms of god and i know your atheists but he made having sex viz. reproducing and keeping the species alive one of the most important things to humans. If you create a species so that they have to procreate with eachother to continue the survival of the species then you would make the act of sex very important to that species and also make the act in of itself very pleasurable so that the species really really want to do it therefore never having to worry about the exstinction of your species.
    However that is just for the survival of the species viz. you have to have a reason you want the species to survive and there had to be something else thats even more important to the species than just sex.

    But nowadays its so hard to have sex with women that if you we get caught up in it and obsess over it since its such a powerful desire. To the point where if we dont get it we spend all our time trying to get it and when we do we never want to stop gettin it so we obsess over it more.

    I think if it wasnt so much of a problem getting sex that we could actually take the time to focus on the other more important things like life goals and such.

    You can now obtain sex. So since that part if your life is complete you now need to find something else to more important to you. Something that maybe helps the world or advances it. Of course your work towards giving other than men the ability to obtain intimacy with wonen is doing wnders but it seems you now need to focus on something else. A greater cause and stop trying to find your past happiness with the same thing when you obviously know that doing things multiple times will never give the same happiness.

    Men and woman were made to fuck and keep the species alive THATS IT. Werent meant for relationships or anything like that. It was like that back then because f the times and lack of knowledge and technology but now since women can take care of themselves the real purpose of both male and female can now take hold which is fuck make new babies so our species never dies out and have fun while doing it.

  27. Roger Daily September 3, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    the answer is a wife/long-term gf who lets you fuck around but does not fuck around herself

    1. CardinalMethod September 3, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      The existence of that snowflake, is a fallacy promoted by god knows who. Always fool around, and always deny.

      1. Deke September 4, 2014 at 9:09 pm

        And be sure that snowflake always fools around and always denies, too, better than you can.

  28. Ninja man September 3, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    If you asked my father if having kids amounted to the biggest mistake of his life, he’d honestly answer that it was the best thing he’s ever done in his life.

    I know exactly where you’re coming from with this, I feel somewhat the same. Focus on friends, business (acquisition of money), adventure and throw in a LTR on your terms in the mix and don’t expect too much from it… may be a good idea.

  29. greek god September 3, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    I haven’t been a reader long enough to know your activity preferences but in reading this something came to mind.

    You like the following:
    -Travel
    -Physical activity
    -A worthwhile challenge
    -Progress that is measurable
    -Being around intelligent, involved participants that can share knowledge with you.

    Start golfing. Its a life long challenge that you will never master and never get bored of. You can play it anywhere and IMO has a healthy ROI.

    6 hours of practicing/playing golf on any weekend is better than going to the club.

    Yes, you will suck for a while but once you get the mechanics & mentality focused, its something you can enjoyably do until they throw dirt on you.

    Does this solve your woman problem? No but its fun as shit.

  30. Jack September 3, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    You need some kids to raise and nurture. A spawn to carry forth with your wisdom and virtue.

    1. TyKo Steamboat September 5, 2014 at 1:41 am

      no…overpopulated planet already

      1. JD September 27, 2014 at 6:52 pm

        Yes, let us all enlightened eco-justice warriors deny ourselves the natural urge to procreate and propagate our genes via our children because the low-IQ masses of the world are overdoing it. When you’re dead and gone with nothing to have shown for it, I’m sure the world will post a thank-you note and a smiley face on your neglected tombstone.

        There are two kinds of people who spew this argument: the immature and the legitimately pathological. I hope for your sake you fall in the former category.

      2. TyKo Steamboat September 27, 2014 at 10:16 pm

        Not everyone wants to have kids…not everyone needs to have kids…& it’s clear that not everyone should have kids.

        Not everyone’s mind works the same. Me, I do not want the responsibility of parenthood & there are some men & women that will live perfectly happy & fulfilling lives devoted to helping others, bettering the planet & making a difference without “propagating our genes”. …. I think you’re part of the “Low-IQ masses” of which you speak there, dad.

        Now go pay your child support.

    2. SUPRA luca September 9, 2014 at 8:27 am

      He could adopt thoe, uh?

  31. BangkokSlim September 3, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Roosh, I say keep on doing what your doing, but maybe a slower pace. Since you love to travel, get out and get some culture outside of the clubs. Enjoy the local food etc. Be a man of the world beyond the broads…..

  32. philosopher September 3, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret it either way; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it; believe a woman or believe her not, you will regret it either way; believing a woman or not believing her, you will regret it both ways. Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.” ― Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

    1. JJ September 3, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      That’s depressing as is most intellectualism. When did those intellectuals ever read a book or
      Create the real World experiences needed to start a business or create a new invention or even meet
      Fine women?

      All the intellectual ruminating is a dime a dozen and the idle parlor talk of mediocore Professor types who can barely crack 60k. A lot of intellectual masturbation really. A way to make something happen outside of a library sounds like the better move.

      1. JD September 27, 2014 at 6:54 pm

        Considering you just lumped two thousand years of thinking men in with the has-been ivory tower “professor” of today and summarily dismissed both in your artificial “lump” category, I take it you’re uneducated yourself.

  33. Stuttie September 3, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    I’m sure Roosh didn’t post this to get advice…

    This post has hit me more than most because I’m grappling with similar thoughts.
    This is exactly where I’m at in terms of my game / SNL / mini-relationship (~month) v LTR (~3-6 months).
    Since my divorce 2 1/2 years ago, I think I’ve banged about 10 women (2 x SNL, 2 x day2 bangs then no contact, 2 x Day2 bangs then mini relationship, 4 x Day2/3 bangs then LTR.
    I find that after I’ve fucked a girl 15-20 times, I get bored. Not so much of the sex, but the effort and time it takes to a) approach them, get number, not flake + arrange day2/3’s and b) to pretend to like hanging with them pre sex and post sex.
    In every LTR I broke off the relationship, and every girl went feral/postal/batshit crazy/abuse tactics/shaming/stalking and even property damage.
    I ended my last LTR a few days ago and I’m seriously contemplating going through a self inflicted dry spell. I’ve never been to a hooker, but I’m thinking it may just be easier (and cheaper) until at some point, a hb7/8/9 girl is worth hanging out with outside of simply pumping her hole a few times a week. Maybe I do this simply cause I hate condoms….I don’t know. Then again, I know in a few days I’ll be excited at the possibility of new pussy….what’s a man to do!

    1. Jaaf September 3, 2014 at 10:25 pm

      You must be very good looking, have an amazing personality and high status in order to bang 10 girls in two and a half years following a divorce. Especially if you live in the West. You represent 0.1% of the men out there.

      1. CardinalMethod September 3, 2014 at 11:28 pm

        That’s one girl every two and a half months, not to discredit the op, but most guys can pull that with the right attitude. If you think it’s impossible, work on your body for six months, then get a Tinder account. Five a month isn’t unfeasible, with a certain tact. Women are instinctively promiscuous, you just have to find the key to unlocking that instinct. A number like fifty would be the top 0.1%.

      2. Stuttie September 4, 2014 at 12:03 am

        I don’t see myself as good looking at all. Yes, I’m a tall mesomorph – but I’m 43, have a receding hairline, and far from being totally ripped. My personality/character was very beta for those first 2 years, now Alpha last 8 months.

        Interestingly, for the first almost 2 years (8 notches / from online sites) I was beta/plugged in, then 8 months ago, I stumbled on Game via Chateau Heartiste then the Rational Male blogs and have been in 2 LTR’s (both night pick-ups) whilst having new-found Game/Red Pill awareness. Roosh’s blog and books Bang & Day Bang came in handy for my approach anxiety.

        I agree with CardinalMethod below.

      3. CardinalMethod September 4, 2014 at 1:15 am

        As much as I’ve read Roosh and other manosphere blogs, I’m a cheap sob, and never picked up one book regarding game or alternative lifestyles for men. I’ve never gotten approach anxiety, I just have the mind set of “who the fuck is this person,” and that even if I’m rejected, it’s not going to hurt. It’s not like you’re likely to get punched in the face… that is if you don’t pick the wrong target. Next flight I go on, I will have to download an e-book.

      4. JD September 27, 2014 at 6:56 pm

        HAHAHA!

  34. CardinalMethod September 3, 2014 at 11:56 pm

    As Stuttie said below, Roosh probably doesn’t desire advice, but he might need some. He’s been too good of a guy to all of the men seeking answers on this fucked up planet. You’re a loner due to your geographic location, and maybe some other influences, but you need a couple legit buddies. I am in the same predicament, in which, I have been rewired to not emotionally bond with women, and they’re are pretty much glorified sex dolls to trade in when necessary. Due to the nature of the modern women, the jury is out, it’s best to keep them this way. Rekindle an old bromance, or find a new one through common interests. Between the guys in my band, my lifting partners, and my pops, I got all the emotional support I need. It might be gay, but only in a spartan type of way. In this crazy world, men have to stick together. If you got a friend or two, keep them around, and don’t hesitate to let them know that they’re important to you. Shit, I drop the love bomb to my guy friends all the time. That being said, I’ve had a lot of friends pass at an early age, so I realize how important friends are.

    1. Stuttie September 4, 2014 at 12:16 am

      + 1 post – You’re right on the money there CM. Love you man 😉

      Fuck I’m hopeless – just did a lunch time day approach (hb7), insta-date and got the number. I can’t help myself! lol

      New pussy is like the lure on an Anglerfish.

      1. CardinalMethod September 4, 2014 at 1:08 am

        Yo brother, we don’t even know each other. The love is cool, just not the smiley face. I’m a man, and speak English, save the emoticons for the dames. Fishing is in my triumvirate of manly past times, but your metaphor is lost on me. New pussy is like landing a trophy bass, your game is the lure. Speaking of which, I haven’t been putting effort in to getting laid as of late, it’s been about a month since my last, but I caught a bass of about four pounds last weekend. Not a trophy, but damn nice for my part of the US. I’ve got a wedding in a couple weeks, though, so I should have some options readily available to hook up in the near future. That is, if I can’t convince my buddy to back out at the last moment. Hope you can take some razzing, cheers

  35. Tao Jones September 4, 2014 at 12:54 am

    Roosh, I’m wondering if you need some kind of manly challenge that will bring you into closer contact with the forces of life and death- mountain climbing, martial arts, a lone journey through remote locations, etc. Once you have tasted death so close at hand, you deepen your appreciation for life and your capacity to love others.

    Life-long monogamy and being the keeper of a rotating harem could be wonderful or terrible or boring options depending on what is natural to a particular man. But your inability to love in any arrangement seems like a troubling indication for your long-term happiness as a person.

    You seem to be going through a classic spiritual crisis around the lack of meaning in life. Forgive me if that is not how it seems to you, but it sure looks that way from the outside. I am reading you with interest as you grapple with these universal themes. Have you ever considered taking a break from the game to do something totally wild and walkabout-like, possibly away from civilization?

    I cannot prove that this is true, but the people who have come into my life have changed as I have changed. The deeper my contact with nature and with primal forces, the more interesting and high quality have been the people who cross my path. If the women in your life seem trivial and boring, maybe that is a sign that you need to change your wavelength. I wager that your capacity for love could thereby grow- and that does not need to end up in a conventional marriage arrangement by any means.

  36. Patrick Bateman September 4, 2014 at 12:59 am

    Traveling the world, dating hot younger women, writing, drinking, staying fit, banging exotic hotties- I’m pretty sure THAT IS IT. It reminds me of the ‘I’m ready to man up’ post. He’s already been doing what EEProgramer soon plans do.

    1. melmoth September 4, 2014 at 2:30 am

      Ha! A man after my own heart right there. I’ll add a few; Japanese green tea or coffee in the morning. Work. Smart food throughout the day that leaves you feeling better, not worse. Reading, writing, barbell lifting. Weekend hikes, stogies. A dram of single malt or a glass of wine in the evening-(not more or else your dream cycles get mangled and neurosis builds). Good clothes, leather shoes, silk ties, decent watch. And young Asian female bodies. Yes, that’s it. I fucking love it all. The problem is when you set up some emotional paradigm in your imaginative mind (I’ve done it, wasted years) and then the world doesn’t mesh with your incredibly intricate and customized set of extremely detailed expectations. Most of this emotional expectation set is based on approval and achieving an abundance of it…WRONG MOVE. BITCH MOVE.
      Drink your loose leaf tea, head off into the woods with a top shelf novel, smoke your stogey and stop lugging around such a contrived mental set that requires endless loads of pseudo-glorious approval and preconceived, usually cliched ideals.

      1. Patrick Bateman September 4, 2014 at 1:31 pm

        life isn’t linear to me, we all chase one thing or another and it’s our chase that gives it value; not other peoples opinions or doubts. A man on a mission has to be a rock, unwavering, at times doubting himself but regaining speed from every time he’s stumbled. I’m sure the richest man, the most famous man, the happiest family man, all have to ask themselves at one point or another is this it?

    2. TyKo Steamboat September 5, 2014 at 1:36 am

      Kill Paul Allen. Then you’ll really enjoy life.

  37. Giovonny September 4, 2014 at 3:49 am

    I’d say that bachelorhood, marriage, and harems all have their benefits and set backs.

    “Happiness” will vary by individual based on his ability to be “happy”.

    I like freedom and fuck buddys! But, i do fall in love sometimes (then, I fall out of love) It’s all pretty enjoyable. I don’t feel any desire for marriage or fatherhood.

    1. Jaaf September 4, 2014 at 4:59 am

      That’s fabulous. Marriage nowadays is nothing but a slavery contract with a high risk for failure and headaches.

  38. bobbdobbs September 4, 2014 at 5:17 am

    I never had kids. Now with the USA succumbing to total socialism I am kind of glad I never brought them into such a bleak and doomed existence.

    1. TyKo Steamboat September 5, 2014 at 1:34 am

      you have a friend here, brother.

  39. j September 4, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Your feelings are natural biology. You can only stimulate the same pleasure receptor in the brain for so long before you build up tolerance for the same activity. An endless harem of number 10″s will eventually bore you. Why do you think famous people who seemingly have everything turn to drugs and then suicide? They reach the point that their happiness receptor can no longer fire.

    I had reached the same feeling. After my horrible marriage ended in divorce, I saw through the matrix and learned game. I spent fifteen years of getting better and better at game. I even lived in Kiev for some time. Even in a city with all those gorgeous women, the game gets old.

    I eventually met a attractive, feminine girl, 15 years younger than me in a coffee shop in my home town in USA. I can go into why I did not bring over a foreign girl, but that is another long topic. We moved in together, and we had a baby boy last year. Best. Thing. Ever. I am happier now than when I had been at the top of my game dating several attractive girls at once.

    Enjoy the journey. One chapter closes and another opens. Life is basically a series of experiences. Your goal is to have as many as you can before your time is over. Fatherhood is definitely one you should try with the right girl. Just don’t get married, and live in a state does not have common law.

  40. jc September 4, 2014 at 7:14 am

    wherever you bang, there you are. you’re at a crossroads where you can hopefully get a son who can do cooler things than you ever did and maybe get some good meals … OR leave behind the inferior ones, go celibate and devote yourself to uncovering mystic truths that only years of re absorbed semen can provide. third option is to keep the game rolling as you grey and hopefully become a better version of that dos Equis most interesting guy cartoon character and maybe acquire some loyal bros along the way.

    1. TyKo Steamboat September 5, 2014 at 1:33 am

      Option 3 please…

  41. EdwardJi September 4, 2014 at 7:41 am

    This article is describing the first noble truth. In the Buddha’s philosophy, the root of contentment lies in the extinction of desires, not in their fulfillment. The source of all our misery is also our most precious possession, the thing that we will do anything to protect: ourself and, more precisely, the attachment to the stories about ourself that we tell to ourself. These stories are ghosts, figments of our memory and fantasies about the future. These stories can never live or feel or experience anything real: only our body and conscious mind can do that, right now in this physical moment. When the stories and their desires prevail, they force our body and conscious mind to experience them and not the real world as it is, right this second.
    But living in this moment, every moment, requires the daily work of releasing our existing stock of our most precious possession and cutting it out at the source. As one sage put it, this is like trying to swallow a hedgehog arse-first. This is why men seek peak experiences. In the moments of combat, orgasm, total mental and physical engagement, our precious story loses its grip and we can be alive in the moment.

    This is the meaning of the new age cliche, “everything you seek is inside you.” It is a simple and logical truth. If everything you seek is inside you, then you don’t seek anything. It is that state of not-seeking that is the source of the contentment that you well, seek.
    But our stories will never give up. They can turn the state of not-seeking into another desire, another story about the past and the future that trick your body into experiencing them, instead of reality in this moment.

    Good luck eating your hedgehog, cousins.

    1. jb June 3, 2015 at 11:19 am

      one of the best comments i’ve read on roosh’s blog.

  42. Nathan September 4, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    Roosh
    If you were to go from America to Europe to find a wife who was blonde, low notch count, loyal, good domestic skills, not a butterface, and the land and culture had low odds of divorce rape which European Country would have that?

  43. GRock September 4, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    Roosh – you might consider substantially altering something about yourself over a 3-6 month period let’s say, and then go back to doing the same thing you always have and see how life changes. It may unlock the answer you’re wondering about.

  44. L September 4, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    you have a problem with your perception of sex. my advice is get into porn and die pathetically from that career. you’re trying too hard to rub one out in some random slut’s vaj. really find more value in life and get off your pathetic addiction.

  45. Ddjembe Mutombo September 4, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    This is the standard dilemma of those who center their life around sex and women. Women and sex should be treated in life as dessert… not the main course. Our main course should personally improving physically, mentally, and emotionally, but not sexually. We should surround ourselves with likeminded men and be constantly socially engaged with them. If you do these things, then the dilemma surrounding women and sex will solve itself.

  46. tickletik September 5, 2014 at 4:29 am

    Beta commitment is a fantasy because it is a civilizational structure enforced by men. The current environment is uncivilized. That is, if civilization is the imposition of rules and laws that enforce contracts both social and legal, a society that ignored atrocities such as “the knockout game” is nothing more than a cannibal eating with a knife and fork.

    Therefore your problem is equivalent to a stranded explorer on some savage continent or jungle. You see all the hot native women, you are an attractive man, especially to these superstitious primitives, and you crave more than just the animal sex that the native feral women can provide, but unfortunately, the men are either broken or feral as well, so you can’t rely on them to enforce any sort of binding contract, especially with these savage feral women.

    So what do you do? You can either continue on this way, rationalizing that the local women are simply to degraded and savage to take in past temporary sexual relief; or you must either find or create some outpost of civilization.

    Finding one is next to impossible, as the entire civilization around us has basically collapsed. Creating one, may be an even worse idea, because contrary to the social planner crowd, these things are very very complicated and very hard to create properly. Oh you can get together a bunch of ignorant primitives together to try but it will be more like something out of the Island of Dr Moriou, where the wild feral savagery of the tormented half mad hybrids is too close to the surface to maintain anything either healthy or lasting.

    Alternatively, you could try going for surrogate motherhood. Or giving up your US citizenship in place of citizenship in a more rational country, however, there is no rational country left, so that is also a dead end.

    A pickle.

  47. ZombieR September 5, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Since our lives are not eternal, I think it’s all about journey. For some men, sex and relationships are just part of their life. Not many of us are “full time players” like Roosh and can go through their journey at a fast pace.
    If the kids aren’t on your immediate horizon, one should consider staying bachelor. Casually date some women, if you find one with whom you click well, become boyfriend/girlfriend while she is interesting to you. As long as there aren’t any long term commitments, you are safe.
    The world is different now.

  48. The Dude September 5, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Roosh is finally starting to realise fulfilment and happiness doesn’t come from pussy- or anything he could possibly want.

    You will never achieve what you really want (happiness and fulfilment) by going after things that your brain desires. And when you achieve them, the feelings of happiness and fulfilment that you envisioned are only temporary. It won’t be long before you find another thing that you foolishly believe will bring you what you really desire.

  49. Jonny_Paycheck September 5, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Sounds like you need to Get Religion baby !

  50. Danish Bro September 5, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    In the words of my famous philosopher countryman Søren Kirkegård:

    “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way.”

    I think it’s time to read Either/Or by Kirkegård, Roosh. It’s about exactly your exentialist dilemma.

  51. roman43 September 7, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    Sounds like you’re heeding nature’s call of wanting kids of your own…

  52. San Francisco Meth Twink September 7, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    Just go gay.

  53. Xman September 9, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Well, there is pleasure, fullfillment and meaning. Sex is pleasure, while skiing in the alps when you are in the flow is fullfillment. Saving lifes as a doctor is meaning. Obviously, you are at level 1. Now, writing books and helping men could be your level 3, but it has to be truly meaningful to you, not employment, not career, but mission you would do even for free.

  54. Mark Boris September 10, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Dude, you need Jesus.

  55. True King September 11, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    Yo roosh my man..Nuthin last forever bro..Once you’ve mastered the game and traveled abroad, what else is there? Your livin the dream Right Now!! Your the man! Your where some of us wish WE were..But as in all things in life, your simply gonna get tired of it all eventually.

  56. Matt September 12, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    Great article man… I’m 38 and I’m mentally going through all of this right now in my life.

    I’m the type of guy who always needs some type of goal or goals to be shooting for — I’m never satisfied.

    When I’m dating and hunting for girls, I’m sort of shooting for that LTR.

    But then when I get into that LTR, I can’t help but think back to when I had my freedom and how exciting it was.

    I have zero faith in the thought of marriage because most of them end in divorce, yet I also have thoughts of being “alone” when I get older and my parents have passed away and friends have moved on.

    I’m on the seventh date with a nice girl right now and she’s made it clear she wants kids within the next year or so. That’s a whole other can of worms to deal with.

    I haven’t figured out what the right path is for myself yet. Luckily, the one solid anchor point I do have, is a successful business.

  57. Robert What? September 13, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    There is only one reason to consider marriage for a man in modern America – only one : if you want to have children and provide a stable environment for them. Of course, she could nuke the “stable environment” on a whim and you would have no say or recourse. Hmm… so maybe there are no reasons to get married.

  58. JJ Roberts September 23, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    It’s never a choice between sex OR commitment

  59. John De Brasil October 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    Roosh,

    You left out a few steps in the commitment thought:
    “you get married, have kids, and then get divorced”…. Then she takes your kids away from you, takes all your money from you. Forces you to continue to make house payments, car payments, but you have a restraining order from entering your house that you are paying for or driving the car that you are paying for. She can hit you and do any physical harm to you that she wants, but you cannot defend yourself in any way. Well . The list goes on

  60. Maldek October 3, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Damn roosh your books are fun, your blog is fun and RoK is a cool place BUT you still dont get it.
    Sure you understand now what ONS mean and also your prolonged version of it called SNS (several night stands) but the LTR thing you still dont get.
    If you made it that far with reading here is some food for thought for you.
    Think about – hard!
    Why do you think a LTR is slavery for YOU? Why would it not add value to your life if you had a wife and kid(s) around. Wife doing the housework, kids growing up and *all of them serving your purpose*.
    The last 6 words are the important part here. The part 99.9% of degenerate beta schlubs fail to understand. They are there to serve you and will do anything to help you reach your goals.
    “But Maldek, it aint not working like that. There are laws and society and feminism and…”
    Yeah have heard all that before. I give a shit about laws and feminism. Laws are there to be bent or broken. Period. You are no longer caged within the US so you can be free of its bounds.
    You earn your money online, you can move your ass around and also your money.
    Life in country A, earn your money in country B, invest it in country C and protect all with offshore corportations. It is not that difficult reallllly it is not. It is also not super expensive. Less than $2000 and you can set up a nice vehicle that will be good for a loooong time. After that you can stop to worry about devorce rape or unwanted child support.
    The moment the wife knows you can walk out the door any time and she will get nothing but loose everything she will be the suitest and most helpful supportive woman you can imagine. She will keep herself fit and sexy because she knows you can replace her any time.
    THAT IS TRUE POWER. THAT IS THE MEANING OF THE DARK TRIAD. DONT BE AFRAID TO “loose your freedom” – you can not loose it unless you give it up voluntairily. Wife and children make you stronger if you do it right.
    Maldek 41, father of 3 living in south america since 2008. I live my words and it is working damn well.

  61. someone122 October 7, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    You don’t know what you really like in a female so is why you never find someone to focus on look past her faults and make an emotional investment with. Also perhaps you don’t really understand how to lay the ground work that makes drudgery far less conspicuous so. A wide range of fun early in the relationship is that groundwork if someone is looking for love (maybe not you) or for the highest rush at the very least you can do is go on a diet say 1 year without sex and dating and you will soon fall in love with one of those first 3 girls you meet and hook up with afterwards. Like going hungry to the grocery store suddenly everything looks delicious and you end up gorging on your favorite food. Having said that you run the risk of loving someone who doesn’t have the best qualities you like in a woman but since you don’t know what they are love is love if you are of the philosophy that love is better. For me love is better because you get a best friend out of it hopefully right. So is better to use game on someone who shares interests similar to yours besides banging beautiful women. Unless of course that is hers also then maybe you hit the jackpot. Having said all that should be duly noted that after you turn 50 relationships with women will matter far more than they do now. In fact they will rank very high on your list of priorities meaning you will want something deeper so at the very least look forward to a future of serial relationships. You probably won’t be ready to settle down with just one until your testosterone levels drop signficantly but you can take DHEA to help remedy that. Of course you could figure out exactly what those qualities you like most in someone and game on girls with similar interests to yours then lay the groundwork to minimize drudgery and have that best friend you love to be with and do things together with. Hopefully she is polyamorous right.

  62. invisiblehand85 October 17, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Animals have offspring and move on. That’s what humans are supposed to do. Attraction doesn’t last. It’s not meant to.

  63. Captain Courageous November 28, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Good reflection there Roosh; I’ve been in both places and believe me you’re on the right path, cherish your freedom and preserve your financial assets. To use the immortal words of one Al Swearingen shaking his head and smirking, at yet another man making a fool of himself over a woman….. “Fuckin Pussy” (Deadwood TV miniseries).

  64. Ironthumb January 8, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    Go to a country where “family” is valued in their culture and divorce is unlawfull,
    learn their language by heart
    then find a feminine woman there who is proud to perform womanly tasks then marry her if you like.

    Plus since most of these countries have dirt cheap life and a dollar goes a long way.

  65. Puccalove69 August 20, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    Your sweet in a wierd way.

  66. Chuoyao Zhang August 29, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    Simple solution: Aim for hot chicks only. I mean 8s or above. Avoid fucking around. It means tolerating longer dry spell as necessary. Female beauty is the only thing that can lure men into commitment. Hold your standard, catch a hottie, don’t get her in bed on first night and you will naturally commit and fall for her. If a 8s can’t, find a 9s or 10s. It works for me.